Suburban Bliss:: Birth Control Via The Written Word

Lucy Versus Peanut Butter

On Thursday I drove a baggie of poo around in my car for a little while. It wasn't mine, it was Lucy's. Another requirement of the Rescue Group, aside from having my dog's name tattooed on my forehead, was to have a stool sample tested within 7 days of adoption.

Turns out Lucy has Giardia, a pretty common parasite in rescue dogs. I'm actually thankful she has it because perhaps this means that when I take her out to "Go Potty!" I won't pass out from the stench.

I decided to use peanut butter on a spoon to give Lucy her medicine, since I'm not particularly wild about jamming her jaw open and forcing a pill down her throat. I realize this means she'll never get into an ivy league school but that's just the way it goes.

Community college is good for a lot of people too. Our community college has a really nice paralegal program.

The thing about peanut butter and dogs is that it's really very funny.

I know it's important to give dogs their dignity. That's why I'm not putting a pair of Wonder Woman Underoos on her.

Yet.

It's just that it was so funny watching her get all that peanut butter out of her mouth.

I think this should be her driver's license picture.

This is Lucy looking a little troubled about eating all the peanut butter.
But maybe you have more treats?

Did They Eat It: White Bean Chicken Chili

This is one of my favorite recipes, it's one I can count toward my Life List Goal of having a handful of recipes I can make off the top of my head. It's pretty quick to make, I know how long the process takes at this point so I don't mess up and serve dinner at 8.

Her Royal Highness Princess Lucy

We just adopted a dog. I feel like I just adopted the Queen of England.

Every time I had to interact with the people from this rescue group they made me not only feel like a criminal hell bent on collecting dogs for my dog fighting/dog meat supplier ring. They also made me feel like a bumbling moron for doing seemingly innocuous things like buying Science Diet Puppy Food and using a retractable leash.

We made it through the first part of the adoption process (after calling several times to get our home inspection and prove that we were truly serious about welcoming a dog into our lives) and began fostering her for a one week trial just to be sure our cats wouldn't hate the dog so much they started spraying our closets with urine.

After the one week trial we were ready to sign the papers and go forward with our adoption but because Logan was out of town and unable to sign the LEGALLY BINDING (I was reminded of this many times....I think I signed a paper offering up my first born if I do anything stupid like USE A RETRACTABLE LEASH) contract we had to wait another week.

But oh boy that week they found out my indoor cats were behind on their rabies shots and couldn't in good conscience give me a dog knowing about my "neglectful nature". So I took the cats in and had them vaccinated.

When I came by to have our dog's stitches removed one of the adoption managers exclaimed, 'Are you feeding her!?"

Oh I have to FEED the dog!?

In the week before we signed the papers the name we were planning to give our dog was critiqued, "Well that's a nice name but so popular! Oh it's really very popular! It's not very unique." (Her given name was Princess....which is so unique?) and the vet we use was met with a hesitant "hmmm".

when we went for the final signing of the adoption contract I had collected all the health records for the cats to prove I was a fit pet parent and a letter from our landlord declaring that he didn't give a flying fig if we got a dog. And they didn't want any of those papers, but in case I forgot, Lucy is a VERY COMMON NAME.

Then all the papers were signed and I agreed to a lot of things I never thought I would agree to, like if my vet and I decide my dog has inoperable brain cancer I have to contact the agency and have approval to put her out of her misery, but I loved this dog and they could have taken part time custody of my kids and I may have still signed on the dotted line. I think they even baptized Lucy as a Catholic and I was powerless.

When we left they took our picture with Lucy, The Commonly Named Dog, and one of the agency leaders said choking up, "Do you think you'll bring her back to see us when we're at adoption fairs near your home?"

And I wanted to cry.

I forgave everything they did because they loved our pup and honestly she's probably as good a dog as she is because of their strict regulations and the excellent care and socializing her foster parents gave her even though she was abandoned.

So yeah I'll bring her back to see them and I'll send them pictures of her laying in front of the fire on her new dog bed and I'll probably give the dog a kidney if she needs it and take her to mass for Ash Wednesday just like that adoption contract specified.

I thought we were getting a dog because Maddie really wanted one.

It turns out I really needed a dog.

Giveaway Update + New Giveaway!

Elizabeth was the winner of the Custom Toy Portrait giveaway I had a few weeks ago. Here's what Jennifer came up with. It's cute, you should definitely get your own. Thanks for the giveaway Jennifer!

I got an email yesterday inviting Maddie and I to a Mother-Daughter event next week. And unlike a lot of the events we get invited to, this one was actually in my area so I may possibly be able to attend. How novel. Also it isn't a tea party where Maddie and I have to wear matching Laura Ashley sailor dresses so I'm even more pleased.

Here's the event information:

Rosalind Wiseman – the best-selling author of Queen Bees & Wannabes, the basis for the hit movie Mean Girls – will be in town hosting a workshop filled with mother-daughter bonding, but also an interactive discussion about confidence, friendships and how to navigate those sweat-inducing “moments”. She will also be signing copies of her books, which you and your daughter will receive at the event.
Rosalind Wiseman’s Girl World Tour is presented by Dove go fresh
Date:                  Thursday, March 4
Time:                  7-9 p.m.
Location:           Hillsdale Middle School (in Northville)
Tickets:              $40 per mother-daughter pair
Event Details:  http://rosalindwiseman.com/events/girl-world-tour/

So far Maddie as a tween hasn't been all that different than Maddie as a Preschooler, she's always been a bit....moody. But now that we're in middle school I find myself cringing waiting for the day there's a frenemy or a mean boy or a broken heart. This will be good bonding for my girl and me.

Dove has given me a pair of tickets for this event (including copies of Wiseman's books), one parent, one daughter, to give away. If you're in the area (the event is in Northville, MI) and have a daughter between 8 & 14 years old, leave a comment for a chance to win.

I'll close comments on Monday at noon (ET) and choose a winner at random later that day.

Hope to see you there! Maddie and I will be in our matching sailor dresses. You can't miss us.

UPDATE:

We had 9 giveaway entries, and the random winner is:

 

Number 8!

Karen says, "ME ME ME! I have four children. My youngest child is my only daughter. I need this! She's 10 going on 17!"

I'll be in touch Karen, congrats!

Did They Eat It: Cooking Light Chili Con Carne

The last recipe I made from Cooking Light's Jan/Feb issue was Chili Con Carne and boy this recipe made me question the justness of a world where people have to roast and peel chiles. The process of roasting, peeling and chopping these chiles took so longI started to believe the peppers would never be done. Additionally I didn't read the recipe correctly (again) and planned for an hour of simmering only to realize at 6:30 another 45 minutes were required.

I'm not sure why this is such a difficult task for me, getting dinner on the table when my family is hungry, but I'm missing a gene or something. I can probably get handicapped parking for this.

Year Of Flowers: Update #1

Part of my 2010 Resolutions and my Life List was to buy flowers for myself once a week.

This has been going pretty well thanks to stops at Costco and Trader Joe's. Picking up flowers in February feels so luxurious it makes my skin tingle. Literally. Even though I spend under $10 per bunch.

A couple of things I'm learning about flowers.

I need more vases.

I need some flower arranging tutorials.

Flowers last about 2 weeks (as long as Gary The Cat keeps his mouth off them).

Currently crying under the table because I'm not on the sofa

Well the dog is definitely settling in. She's on a routine that's reasonably tolerable. She wakes up at 5am when Logan leaves for the gym and this gives me another reason to LOVE marathon training! WOOOOOO!

She is still in her crate and is doing just fine with it aside from Friday night when she cried like a maniac and the kids slept on the floor next to her crate. I think I messed up our routine by relying on the white noise machine a friend brought over rather than HGTV. Turns out Lucy is really into interior design and not so much heartbeats, static, birds or the ocean.

The kids had Thursday and Friday off of school last week and Logan was out of town. Then Monday was a snow day I was not at all expecting or emotionally prepared for. Even the dog was like, "Don't they have somewhere to be? When's the Cuddle Puddle in the big bed?"

I had the follow up CT Scan on Wednesday last week to check and make sure the mystery spot on my lung hasn't changed into a piece of broccoli. Last time I had small allergic reaction to the iodine contrast dye so this time I was premedicated. This worked pretty well until Thursday night when a batch of hives broke out on my neck and chest. But things got a lot sexier on Friday night when my lips developed a sand paper rash on their edges. So Sexy!

The technician told me we would have results in 24 hours and this made me happy. However Thursday and Friday passed without word, which means good things obviously but still a little rude yes? I decided I would call Monday morning if I didn't hear.

And then Monday I totally forgot to call. And you know what that means. 

I am clearly NOT WORRIED enough and now the sky is about to fall on my head.

But now I'm worried about how not worried I've been so hopefully by the time the doctor returns my call I'll have turned the situation around.

Update: Just got the call: "Previous Abnormality Has Resolved."

Still in love.

Lucy continues to amaze us. One accident that filled the entire house with the most ominous stench. Even Gary took a whiff, turned to me and said, "What the hell IS that?"

Otherwise she's settling into a routine, made her way onto the sofa and has finally realized what all these "things" the people keep tossing at her are for "playing" with.

Nights are better. I warned Logan that when he leaves town on Thursday, if the dog wasn't done crying in her crate she'd be in her crate in my closet when he returned.

Here's how we've gotten her to stop whining in her crate. Step one: 45 minutes to an hour of walking spread out between 3-4 walks a day.

Step two: the kids put their dirty clothes in her crate before bed (I move them to the laundry in the morning)

Step three: after the kids go to bed I let her sleep in front of the fire or next to me for an hour and then I tuck her into her crate (lured by a treat) and the crate is covered with a sheet.

Step four: When I go to bed I leave the tv on so she thinks I'm still there.

Blam-O!
Us: 1 Dog: 2

I sneak off to bed so I don't wake the dog, in my own house.

I praise her bathroom habits and feel guilty when my errands take more than two hours.

I feel like she's holding me hostage but thankfully I have Stockholm Syndrome so it's working well!

(computer cord on order, (please dont ask what happened to the one Laura gave me "hi laura!") so I'm still typing from my tiny phone. Lucy doesn't like it when I sit at the computer. I KNOW I'm being silly, next week I'll take a stand.) (probably).

I'd love to tell you all about Lucy

But I can't because I tripped on my computer cord last night and dropped the whole thing on my ankle. that was refreshing!

Lucy's great. We are all in love but I feel remarkably like I did when maddie was born. A little out of my mind. I've never raised a dog before and even though ses 7 months old, I can still do a lot wrong and find myself on The Dog Whisperer in 2 years.

The first night I don't think she loved us yet, so she didn't mind her crate to go to sleep. The second night she appears to have fallen madly in love with us and never wants to be out of our sight again.

I took her out 4 times in the night, slept on the dining room floor in front of her crate for four hours until my back broke in two. Finally she won the battle at 6am when I could t bear to put her back in the crate so we cuddled up on the living room floor.

I'd like to say it was a lovely bonding experience but I was deliriously tired and though the loving room floor is more comfortable than the dining room floor neither one is ideal for sleep.

So yes I gave into her and so now I'm sure she's won and has decided she's the leader of the pack and eventually I'll be on the dog whisperer explaining how I raised a dog that set fire to an entire city.

Sorry everyone I was just so tired, I couldn't put her back in her crate.

I'll write more later when my computer is back up and running. In the meantime I'm in my bed, Lucys to my left and on the other side of my back is a cat giving me seriously disapproving looks, "you're letting that thing up in your bed? I hope you're happy, now she'll grow up to kill 32 people in a blind rage. "

I wish I cared but I don't I just want one consecutive hour of sleep, and perhaps an ounce of instinct when it comes to raising a dog.

Valentine's Treats 2009

I got organized to create something fun for Max's class this year almost an entire month before Valentine's day.

....And then three days before the party the class decided to have a "green" valentine's day meaning no individual valentines. Classic.

Instead they're each making one big valentine and every kid is saying something nice about everybody else on their valentine. How "green"...(no really it's a great idea and probably saved a bunch of parents a lot of time and saved the earth a lot of garbage.) (BUT STILL.)

I sent Max with his treat because I wasn't finding 28 random people to give valentines to from my kid.

I was inspired by this gumball idea at les petits presents (excellent inspiring site, fyi).

I started out by browsing my favorite packaging site, SKS Bottle and Packaging. I was drawn to the metal boxes at the site, not the cheapest option, but I got 48 hinged "Altoid-Like" boxes for $31. I used 28 of them and I'm sure I'll find other little projects to use them for.

Logan made the stickers and I picked up gumballs at the party supply store, a large jar of them for $10. You can get them in bulk for less but then you've got 850 gumballs. Though I don't know, I loved looking at our gumballs in a jar on my counter.

After I placed my order I found these square plastic boxes that were much less expensive than my boxes. I love the clear plastic so that you have colorful little packages to pass out. You can find a pack of 50 boxes here for just $12. Slap a label on the front and you're done.

I put the Happy Valentine's Day stickers on the front.

The inside was filled with gumballs (which I carefully placed so there was a nice distribution of color)(could have used more yellow)(stop looking at me like that).

Under the gumballs is the punchline. "You blow me away! From, Max!"

It looks complicated but really wasn't. Next year I'll revamp the label and give you all a downloadable PDF.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

We Passed!

Our pup gets to come home Saturday at noon!

Pictures to follow as soon as I unwrap Madison from around my head!

Computer dead. Typing on phone. Help.

My computer has been acting up. It worked for a while if I wrapped the power cord around my face and held my tongue to the exposed wires with a piece of foil wrapped around my toe.

I actually decided over Christmas that I don't want, or rather don't need, a new computer. Of course then a week later I had a power cord and a piece of foil rigged up to make the damn thing run.

Now it's dead. D-E-D

No matter how I hold the cord or how I place the exposed wires on my fillings the cord won't power up the computer.

In the meantime we've been trying to adopt a dog. Tomorrow we have our home inspection, and if our home is good enough we could have our girl by Saturday.

!!!!!!!!

I was going to wait to tell you about her until she'd moved in, but enh, it's all over Twitter as I've been terrified we'll be denied adoption.

Anyway, please keep your fingers crossed the rescue lady thinks our home is safe for a dog. Also cross your fingers that I go to the Apple store and all I need is a new power cord for my computer. She's pretty old, but we have history!

(I'm typing this on my phone so forgive the typos and such)

Did They Eat It: Cooking Light Bean Burritos

Continuing with my personal "Make Two Dishes From Every Magazine Purchased" rule I made Chipotle (But I Didn't Have Chipotle Chili Powder So They Were Just Regular*) Bean Burritos for dinner the other night.

*name was too long for title.

This is mine, the ones my family ingested looked very vaguely like this delicious one.

New Project:

I've mentioned before I really want to move to Austin or Portland, Oregon. I like the idea of Austin because of the weather, the culture of the city as a college town and being close to the kid's Favorite Aunt Jean (please note the distinction between Favorite Aunt Jean rather than Favorite Aunt, Jean...they love all their aunts...at least the ones they know.).

I love the idea of Portland because my Favorite Sister Teri lives there and after visiting a few years ago, I am drawn the idea of living in a city on a coast with the kind of community oriented and out-of-the-box thinking that comes from that environment.

I'm pretty good at becoming focused on something I want and making things happen (please see selling our house in a recession). Logan's never been particularly interested in moving our family something I attribute to moving a lot as a kid. I never moved as a kid, had a baby young and have always been curious about moving somewhere completely different.

But I'm willing to concede that my battle has been for the most part lost. Unless some amazing job falls into Logan's lap requiring a move, we're here for the forseeable future.

The thing I'm realizing though is that I've got an amazing community surrounding me here. Not just great friends but a whole slew of people who share my values (if not my politics) and are raising their kids, making their schools excellent and instead of looking at other cities for a new culture I've decided to embrace what's already here.

As such Logan and I are giving our time and energy to a new project, The Royal Oak Community Farm. Logan's doing some marketing and promotional materials and I will be helping with their social media coordination.

The Royal Oak Community Farm is interesting to me because it represents the kind of outside-the-automotive-industry thinking that has been very slow to come to the Detroit area. With so many foreclosures and a slow building industry, the farm will use land left vacant after the closing of several schools in our city.

I love the emphasis on building the community, providing educational opportunities for our schools, and making locally grown produce available to the area. 

If you're local you should go over and find out how you can get involved. You can also follow the farm on twitter.