A couple of weeks ago we hosted a neighborhood happy hour. Let me just type that again because it feels so good.
A couple of weeks ago we hosted a neighborhood happy hour. Also I made this appetizer. They're tiny BLT's made in hollowed out cherry tomatoes with a little chipotle mayo on top (I used just ONE chili this time). Then a few days later we invited another couple over to hang out and I made these brussels sprout and bacon appetizers I'd made before.
You know how some people like to light candles to scent their house like a gingerbread cookie? Or they use a room deodorizing spray so their house can smell like an enormous vat of potpourri? When guests come to my house I prefer them to be punched in the face with the smell of bacon. So I made a decision, I will incorporate bacon into every event held in our house.
On Saturday we hosted a euchre tournament for 16 people Logan works with. We had four tables and every one had to play one round with each person. This meant we played, I think, 823 rounds of euchre. It was 2 o'clock in the morning (technically...because of daylight savings time) when I was finally able to get away.
When you host a euchre tournament you have every one bring an entry fee, ours was $7, this money goes into the pot and who ever gets the highest score goes home with some money, $112 in our case. Also every time you get "euchred" (for those of you from....not here, this basically means you did it wrong and you fucked up) you put another amount into a separate pot, our fee for getting euchred was $1.
By round 12 I had put about $600 into the euchre pot and I would have put more in if it meant I could make it stop. But it didn't stop, it went on and on and on. I didn't win any money, not even the euchred pot which was the product of my severe ineptitude at this never ending game.
But then, this story is all about how some things are good in small doses and very bad in larger ones.
In following with my new plan to make everyone smell like bacon after a night at my house, I decided to try these bacon wrapped cracker appetizers from Pioneer Woman Cooks. The house smelled as though I'd washed the floors in bacon grease, and the appetizers were exceedingly simple to make. Perfect.
I left them out on the counter and while I was emptying Maddie's savings account into the euchred pot, most of these really-terrible-for-you treats were devoured. I got my hands on one (before being called back over to empty our Roth IRA into the pot) and, I can't blame everyone for eating them all in about 4.2 seconds. They were amazing. I like to think that food doesn't have to be totally fat laden to be good. I'll tell myself, 'I don't even know it's not there.' But when I ate those crackers I realized what it is fat does. Fat makes things taste like heaven. So, no I don't blame everyone for eating all of the crackers that night, I can really only blame myself for not making a double batch.
Last night I made another batch and I didn't eat dinner because I knew these were really bad for me so I'd save my appetite for them. I sat down to eat my little snack and suddenly there were no more left and my stomach kind of hurt. All day today I can't think about those bacon crackers without fighting back the urge to gag.
If you were wondering exactly how many rounds of euchre are too many, the answer is 15.
If you wondered what the precise amount of bacon which comprises "Too Many" is, the answer is 12.
You're welcome.
