I am not what you call 'Pet Friendly'

Just when I thought the 'Animal Lover' vibe couldn't get more intense at Monday Night Knitting Class, it got so much more bizarre I almost can't believe what I saw and heard this evening.

You may recall this conversation some nice, but insane, ladies in my knitting class had. It was all about how much they love their pets and how their pets seem to control them with their eyes, those eyes that just get you.....Right. Here.

You know?

My answer is, no. I don't.

Tonight this lady comes in and tells us her cats attacked her. Attacked her. One cat got tangled up in a grocery bag handle and while trying to help dislodge the cat from the tangled mess it freaked out and bit her. Right through her ear. She had a big gaping wound.

During this scene the other cat saw it's opportunity and bit right through the skin of her calf. She claims the second cat was defending the first cat....I know better. They smell weakness. There were marks.

I assumed she must have gotten rid of these homicidal cats.

She looked at me like I was the crazy one. As though I was the one who decided to keep a pair of homicidal cats in my home.

The thought of what those cats did to her, makes me want to set my cats free. Ever since I walked in the door I feel like they're watching me. Waiting for the moment I let my guard down.

There is no fucking way in this lifetime I will keep any animal that turns on me for no good reason.

Granted, someday my children will be teenagers and I won't be able to set them free when they turn on me...but cats? Oh yes, I will.

Comments

[Emily]

Just watch them....those eyes are following your every move!lmao

[The Sarcastic Journalist Journalist]

I just don't trust cats. Grew up with the suckers. Anytime you pissed one of them off, they would go out and 'punish" you. My personal favorite was when the kitty would come and rip all of my toilet paper to shreds. Like "ha! You can't wipe your ass now! I got you back!" We also had a cat who was known to 1. starve itself when it got mad at you and 2. take a dump in the bed of people's trucks.

The hubs and I had a doggie that would "punish" us by crapping or peeing on anything we left on the ground. this dog would go outside, hold it in for a 10 minute walk and then come in and let loose on my shirt that I had taken off that week.

Animals are smarter than you think. That story about the lady and her cats scared the doodoo out of me!!

[littleMiss]

We've always ended up with psycho cats! My motto is Nothing with 4 legs and fur ever again! I have a crazy child, WHY! would I want another crazy animal to take care of?

LittleMiss (who finally got around to viewing yer fine blog)

[HElene]

Yup! That why we stick with dogs. They don't turn on you - they're not smart enough too! :)

[beerzie boy]

Pets are basically freeloaders. We feed and house them. Their "job" is to accomodate us -- let us cuddle and pet them, chase a ball, etc. The minute they become surly about the relationship...well, that's the time to send them packing. If they don't like it, let them form a goddamn union.

[Melinda]

Being Worry McMotherHen over here, I'm concerned for this lady's health! Cat bites are DIRTY and very difficult for even those who know what they are doing to get clean at home. Cat Scratch Fever, anyone?!

I hope she took herself to the doctor or ER b/c if she didn't she is in a WORLD of hurt this morning and with it being that close to her head...well, what IS left of her already compromised brain will be in even MORE danger!

[Guides]

Overall I am a pet lover but when people elevate them to the level of a human being it starts to piss me off... These people has serious issues.

PS cats are EVIL!

[Lil'Sis]

Personally, I love my psycho cat. I love the fact that she wants to cuddle...but only for so long... and then you're a chew toy. Tho i do hope she may grow out of it (she is technically a teenager, i believe. a blood-thirsty, conniving teenager...) i put up with it with supernatural patience i can't seem to work up for my roomates. And THEY don't even bite! well, not ME, anyhow... But my kitten strikes me as "tough" and "assertive". And besides, if i complained about her hurting me, how could i, in good conscience, laugh so hard when she beats up my roomate's cat? It's so worth it.
PS- my friend randomly got scratched by her cat and had to have dialysis for over a year, she got so sick from it. You may need a new knitting buddy...

Miao.

[andrea]

We have birds. They are harmless enough. :)
I've been an owner of both cats and dogs (some at the same time) and although I have loved them dearly I wouldn't have kept them around if they were violent.

I knew a couple who had this big German Shepherd. The dog snapped one day. The woman was feeding it and he turned and bit her nose off. I am not kidding. She had to have major plastic surgery done. And get this, *they kept it*.

[Deborah]

My theory about cats is that they are a dime a dozen. Whenever I feel the need for a furry little pet I put out some kibble, and voila! New cats arrive. I don't allow them into my house, I merely feed them and pet them. My children name them and pet them and cuddle them. OUtside cats are much more grateful then indoor cats...they know their daily kibble depends on thier ability to be carried around by toddlers.

[Courtnee]

Oh my goodness... well, my experience with them is that they're only good for one thing as far as I'm concerned and that's the stereotypical "barn cat". I remember when I was 'cat-sitting' for a friend and their friggin' demon spawn attacked me...I mean, jumped from the floor and sank it's claws into my back and just hung there! That sucker would've been taco meat if I wasn't such good friends with his "mom".

[Giggloki]

I know you wrote this ages ago, but I'm taking the time to read through your archives, so this is the first I've read this story. Let me just say, I just laughed so hard I cried. My husband is looking at me now like I've lost my head. This was just soo funny.