This is getting so old, it's new again.

My Nicer Funnier Sister In Law once said, "I really think I'd love my dog a lot less if he could talk."

Unfortunately, I think she's right.

Sure there are exceptions to this. There are times where my kids say the cutest things. Things that are wise, or witty or so horribly inappropriate, it's funny.

But for the last 3 days my son has waken me up by screaming at the top of his lungs from his room at least an hour before his usual (and very nice) wake up time.

I can't think of a much ruder way to wake up than to SCREAMING DEMANDS at 7am. I can think of quite a few other unpleasant ways to wake up that I'd rather endure than to walk into my son's room morning after morning to the sound of a child screaming "MOMMMMMEEEEEE I WANT TO GET UP NOW!!!!" or "MOMMMMEEEEEEEE! I SAID I WANT TO GET UP NOW!!!!"

Rinse. Repeat.

I would rather be awakened by the sound of some rude person's car radio blaring outside while they warm the car in the morning.
I would rather be awakened by a seal like barking cough each an every night between 2 and 4am, wait I already whined about that.

The screaming alarm clock simply must go.

The problem with the screaming alarm clock is that it doesn't have a snooze button and you can't really turn it off at all. Because you get him up, as he's commanded and then...the rest of the day is a mine field of potential scream inducing events.

So far today he's had a screaming fit because:

"Maddie said 'uh-uh' to me!!!!"

"Not macaroni and cheese, Fairly Odd Parents macaroni and cheese!!!!!"

"But I really want to hit Maddie in the head with this t ball stand!!!!!!"

Now it's come full circle because it's naptime, and guess what he's yelling from his bedroom?

"MOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE I WANT TO GET UP NOW!!!!!!!"

I'm not at all ready for the wake up yet. I've already spent the first 6 hours of my day dodging the screaming, 45 minutes is not nearly enough time to regroup.

Due to the Budgetary Restrictions laid out for the 2004 fiscal year, I have not a drop of alcohol in this house. This fact combined with the reality that Parenting Partner #2 will not be home for at least another 4.5 hours, really I can only predict this day will involve at least 7 more tantrums, 2 or more from me.

Comments

[alyssa]

get out of there! omg! i remember ian going through this stage. and since he was my only child at that time, i really dug into him about it and got it under control...occasionally. it required lots of me screaming louder than him. it was sort of therapeutic, primal screaming at him! lol! but it would freak him out, and he stopped screaming at me, bc he didnt want me to scream at him! lol!

maybe you should set an alarm clock to ring when he is allowed to get up. it worked for us during nap time. no buzzer, no uppie!

i would get them the hell out of the house. maybe go by a bakery (a cheap one) and let them have a treat. yesterday, i requested $ from al to do this while i was practicing to be a sahm, with wonderful results. we went to a bakery, bought 1.40 in treats and then i took them to the playground where i talked with my friend, julie and the kids played until it was 5:30!

i so wish you could enjoy the warmth of florida. i would never make it as a parent of the north, would i? lol!

as we are currently experiencing a STATE OF FINANCIAL EMBARASSMENT, there is no beer in our house. we did splurge on a sixer this weekend, and it was beautiful. also, i found a half-full bottle of grey goose vodka from about a year ago. so, we have been having some screw drivers.

there's a line in a Sublime song about looting and it goes "I finally got all that alcohol I can't afford". so, i am thinking we should stage simultaneous riots in fla and michigan and see what that can get us in the way of looting some really nice import beer.

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Alyssa, getting out of the house is a swell idea...if I didn't have about 30 things on my to do list at home. Also, I'm not sure if you recall the Vomit On My Shoulder incident from last week? Going out can go terribly wrong.

Oh, ye of new found stay at home-hood. You can't go out everyday or you'd never get anything done and your husband would start to complain about how messy the house is and how there's never any dinner, and hey, why isn't the laundry done.

Just you wait.

[Lisa]

what?!? And I thought it was just a *girl* thing. Although Lexi isn't screaming when she wakes up, it's just throughout the whole day I hear it. And of course I hear the "Nick bumped me" etc etc etc.....

I'm telling you, I would NOT have a problem with anyone taking her for a week.....or two. LOL

The county nurse was just here & found out that we will EASILY qualify for WIC (food stamps) on Phil's income alone. To qualify, a family of 5 can't earn over $60k. Gee, that's pretty easily to hit when your income will be less than $30k! LOLOLOLOL
Oh, I think once I'm done nursing, no matter if we have the $$$ of not, there will be LOTS of alcohol to be bought. It's been way too long here.

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If it were really helpful, they'd let you use WIC dollars to buy alcohol.

As for the screaming, doesn't it make you so thrilled to have this time at home? Gah!

[Christie]

I don't mean to laugh at your trauma. I really don't. But as I read the line: "Not macaroni and cheese! Fairly Odd Parents macaroni and cheese!" my son yelled, "These are Looney Tunes fruit snacks! I said I want Fairly Odd Parents fruit snacks!"

How come I've never seen one episode of the Fairly Odd Parents and already I want to bitch slap them? I'm about to tell my kids that if they don't stop with the demands, they'll find themselves with some Farily Different Parents very soon.

[nicer funier SIL]

If said Pooch could talk he'd say, "'Not dog biscuits! Scooby Doo dog biscuits!" They're all the same, 4 legs or 2...they're just in it for the treats.

[Lil' Sis]

You know, every afternoon at the end of my workday I read yr blog to cheer me up so I can be a normal human outside of the office instead of this always-near-tears-and-grateful-she-doesn't-have-a-gun-because-they-don't-pay-well-enough-for-a-defense-attorney girl that I am here. Because, when you think about it, having a Master of Social Work degree does not, in fact, guarantee you won't act like a 5 year old who is afraid to do anything for herself, and the elderly folks who repeatedly call & show up have temper tantrums that are remarkably similar to a 3 year old's when they don't get their way. And yet, somehow, I manage to remember how much better I have it than you! BecauseI get to go home alone, and even during the workday, much to my boss's chagrine, i get SMOKE BREAKS!
Miao.

[Eric Rice]

Luckily enough, being a dad who stays at home, I have been witness to the mysteries of, why, All of A Sudden, the Teletubbies and the Fairly Odd Parents became evil. And worse yet, dealing with the challenge of stifling the laugh when Po is being clutched tight to protect from the Television Teletubbies. I can't say anything like, "Um, that's a 'Tubbie" for fear of absolute terror outbreak. And also, in case someone downloaded the PDF for three year olds, and I didn't see the e-mail, why is every question asked and answered 42 consecutive times? Is this a mom-thing?

[Cash Advances]

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