I tried.

Someone emailed me about this and asked me to spread the word. I've tried and I've tried to come up with something profound to say about it. Something to express my feelings about a show which reduces the often painful decision to give up a child for adoption and the often painful process of finding a child to adopt to nothing more than another reality show with a baby as the 'prize'.

This is the email I received:

"Last week I made the mistake of watching the last bit of 20/20 and saw what they were advertising for this Friday's episode (4/30/04)- a 'reality show' about infertile couples vying for the right to adopt one girl's baby. I am outraged, and want to get the word out there so that people can contact ABC and tell them that the insensitivity with which they are approaching infertility and adoption is totally inappropriate. Exploitation of the painful decisions that couples must face perpetuates stereotypes and does nothing to educate the public about the very real desires and tragedies that happen to couples every day. How can anyone hope for greater sensitivity from co-workers, friends and family when the only public exposure of an adoption process is shown in the form of a contest?"

Here is another smart woman's take on this show, a woman who has been through the adoption process.

And another well worded letter based on personal experience to look at.

And finally, if you find this as offensive as I do, please take a moment to Email 20/20 and let them know.

Comments

[-d]

Thanks! Linda will be so happy to know that people are letting 20/20 know how awful and demeaning they are being!
-d

[Joye]

Just sent them a quick email. I'm surprised that they would be airing something like this - usually they would be using it in their "Give Me a Break" segment! Regardless of why they chose it, I think it's disgusting. It's a baby, not a new car or a trip to Cancun as a prize. People need to respect the privacy and sensitivity of the adoption process. Thank you for letting us all know about this!
Joye

[Lisa]

I sent an email. Thanks for the forum. I too saw the commercial, and my husband and I looked at each other in amazement. How can they do that? Poor judgement on the part of ABC. I hope they reconsider.

Also, love your blog. Please be encouraged! I love your humor and your seriousness alike. YOu have a great blend of the two.

Lisa

[pinky]

Just like Lisa above - my husband and I saw the promo, and looked at each other incredulously. This is a new low. It's disgusting.

[Patti]

Well, here's an unpopular viewpoint....

While I, too, find the whole premise of the show extremely disturbing, I have to wonder: Why on earth are these people willing participants of such exploitation? Forgive me if I sound insensitive or downright ignorant - I don't pretend to understand for one moment the desperation couples must feel when they cannot conceive and want to adopt so that they can love and raise a child - but I don't see how they are being forced to participate in this show?

I feel for the 16-year old girl; I would hope that her parents would have tried to talk her out of wanting to participate in a theatrical production of what is most likely the most horrible time of her life ever.

Perhaps I'm the minority in feeling this way, but my take on all of this? Shame on 20/20, yes. But they wouldn't have a show if there weren't participants willing to aid in the sensationalism of something that should be private and sacred.

[Mary]

Email already sent! The thing that really galls me - Barbara Walthers is herself an adoptive parent! Her only child, her daughter, was adopted! How would she have liked to have gone through something like this?? You would think she would have enough sensitivity and common sense to realize this was a really stupid idea for a show.

/rant.

[jenB]

This really upset me as well. I am adopted and I thought I was just being really sensitive about the show. When I saw the preview, I was appalled.
Shocked as well, since Babs' daughter was adopted. Awful.

[jilbur]

email sent. This is horrible horrible horrible. The Romans got nothing on us, when it comes to entertainment. Could we bring out the gladiators and the lions now, please?

[Coralie]

Thanks! Email sent, enough said.

You rock.

[Jaynee]

I emailed as well, saying, "I think it's deplorable that you are doing a "reality" tv show involving adoption and a "winning" couple. It's a travesty that you think that's something to pawn off to viewers as valuable television, when it's a potentially devastating situation for the families who don't "win". I hope you think twice about your decision to air such a program - if you do air it, I'll have to seriously reconsider my choices and eliminate ABC and the products you advertise from *my* regularly scheduled programming."

Hope it works!

[beerzie boy]

Holy Cow. New lows have been reached.

[Sam]

Email sent. AND, just because the participants agreed to it, doesn't make it any more tasteful, moral, or any less exploitive and repugnant.

[neko]

email sent here as well.