My God, I Absolutely Love This Potty!

Ineffective Things I Have Said (or thought about saying) While Trying To Convince My Son To Use The Potty.

"You know, I'm cool with not changing your diaper anymore. I mean I'm not 'married' to it. Really, it's fine if you want to use the potty instead. Seriously, I'm not going to freak out about it or anything."

(While I am on the toilet) "WOW! This is fun! I really love using this potty."

"Why can't you be more like your sister? She was using the potty at two and a half! On the side of the freeway! In the middle of Philadelphia!"*
*Did not say, but if I had it would explain a lot of the brewing sibling rivalry we're cultivating in this house.

"You know what's really fun!!!?? Using the potty!!! Just like a big boy!!!!"

"What is it you find offensive about the toilet exactly?"

"Sheesh, these diapers are expensive...if we didn't need them anymore I'll bet we could even go to Disney World."
*I didn't say this and if I ever do, and I could, it will be a complete lie.

(While Logan is on the toilet) "Honey? Isn't the potty FUN!?"

"You know who else uses the potty?" (I then name Every Single Person I know in this world. Yes, even you.)

"I guess you don't want to go to college then?"
*Actually I said 'preschool' not college.

(When anyone we know comes out of the bathroom) "Wasn't that AWESOME? I love using the potty, don't you!?"

"Do you know why that man is homeless? He never learned to use the potty."*
*I didn't say this at all, but next week I swear to God I will.

Comments

[emily]

Right there with you.What is with these little guys holding out on us?

[beerzie boy]

How about: You're either with the potty trained, or with the terrorists.

[jilbur]

Or you could make it,
When you don't use the potty--the terrorists WIN.

With my girl, no amount of rhetoric, no matter how clever or menacing, made the slightest impact. She could not possibly have been less interested in interrupting her busy schedule to run to potty when she had a perfectly nice piece of cloth to catch whatever business chanced to want to pass from her body. Not her issue.

I just had to one day announce: 'Heyy, the diapers are GONE! They do not exist anymore! Here is your underwear. Good luck with that.'

We had four weeks of puddles and the occasional roller down the leg, and then it was all over. The thing is, suddenly standing in a puddle really cramps your style--even more than running to the potty. I remember her surprise the first one or two times it happened: saucer wide eyes--"I'm peeing!!

[Liz]

I seriously know exactly what you're going through. My 4 year old was the same way. I had to do just as the person commenting above me mentioned. oy! the messes! anyhow, I said it all or thought about saying it all, too. Now, she's pretty much spot on with it, but hey, she turned 4 a month ago!!! we'd been trying this whole potty business since just before she turned 2! we still have to basically MAKE her wear the undies, but she really does hate to be wet, so just stopping buying diapers and pullups has helped to this end immensely. we have only a few diapers left, and those are for nighttime only, she knows it, and she tries to sneak wearing them during the day, because really, what's more convenient than not having to worry about where or when you do your business? but if I catch her, I make her change back, and she's done really well, considering. we've been doing this for about a week now, and I'd say we're at about 85% accuracy. hang it there, hopefully it'll get better for you, soon!

Oh, and I love reading this site. You have a gift for writing and calling it as you see it.

[Eve Pearlman]

Oh, I feel your pain. I finally went with this one: candy. We used up the leftover tootsie rolls from Halloween, and then we moved on to M&M's when those ran out. It was: "Make a pee-pee, get a prize."

[Marissa]

Do you have the potty video? The one with the catchy song, "Yes I'm going to the potty, potty, Na-how!" That's a great video.
Maybe you should ask your daughter to put some sibling pressure on your son - I bet she could talk him into it.

[Melissa]

The candy choice of the leftover tootsie rolls tickles me.

We did candy, mini m & m's with Maddie...I think Max will want something bigger, like cash.

If the terrorist thing doesn't work, I'll definitely pull out some kind of candy.

[Pants]

Our son already acts like a terrorist half the time...

[Busy Mom]

Keep me posted about the homeless thing. I'll try it, too.

[HElene]

LOL- sounds like a duplicate of converstions we also have at our house daily :)

[Christie]

Everyone Poops & The Gas We Pass. I know these books, ad naseum.

Oh, I'm not saying they'll work, I'm saying read them for your own entertainment while Max runs behind the kitchen table, poops in his pull-up and proceeds to wallow in his own filth for hours.

Not that I have any experience with this. I'm just guessing. My kids came out of the womb and sat on the potty. Swear to god. ;)

[jilbur]

eyy, what about The story of the little mole who knew that it was none of his business? Again--not that it'll help, but when the whole family is on board with 24/7 potty humor, it can only lighten the load. (heh. I said load.)

[Nicole]

I don't think the college comment would work. I think guys revert once they hit college, because I remember a few "accidents" in my dorm...

[Jenn]

You mean we're supposed to encourage the use of the potty? You see, I thought they just suddenly knew how to use it. Damn! Back to my What To Expect the Toddler Years book to see how many other ways I have screwed her up.

Hey, can we borrow the whole terrorist and "no school" speeches? I am thinking of throwing in "You know, Strawberry Shortcake and Dora the Explorer think that kids in diapers are SO uncool!"

[Amanda]

Let me know if you discover a way to get him to actually poop in the potty...I am tired of throwing away underwear...and I am NOT rinsing those out...LOL...Good Luck

[Eve]

They were the short little tootsie rolls--not the big adult-size logs. Appropriate, no? And I'm right now holding myself back from a discussion of relative stool size.

[kalisah]

my god! My son was so easy compared to all this...

you hate me now, don't you?

Seriously, I put the really thick training underwear on him, and set the egg timer for 30 minutes. Every 30 minutes we were on the potty. When he could stay dry all day long for 30 minutes at a time (it took about 2 weeks), we increased to 45 minute intervals. Within a month we were TRAINED.

[Clancy]

Re: what Kalisah said--I kind of think that's how my mom did it. I'm 29 years old and so am experiencing these memories in a sort of inchoate way (LOL), but my mom is the micromanagement type. I should say I don't have any children myself, but it seems that raising children is a grand exercise in micromanagement, isn't it? BTW: I love this blog.

[Joye]

Absolutely HILARIOUS. The most frightening part is that I have said the following from your list:

-(While I am on the toilet) "WOW! This is fun! I really love using this potty."

-"You know what's really fun!!!?? Using the potty!!! Just like a big boy!!!!"

-"You know who else uses the potty?" (I then name Every Single Person I know in this world. Yes, even you.)

Glad to know I'm not the only one...