Death By Peanut Sauce

When I think of horrific ways to die a few things come to mind. Falling from a skyscraper? Pretty shitty way to die. Drowning in my own vomit after a night of drug abuse? Yes, indeed. Terrible way to die.

Drowning in general seems like one of the worst ways to die. Being aware of the life being slowly squeezed from your body, seems awfully horrific. Huh, that reminds me a little of a particularly bad month or so of parenting.

I can honestly think of no worse way to die than drowning, but I would gladly volunteer to die by drowning myself in peanut sauce. Peanut sauce makes me mourn for the millions of people in this world who are allergic to peanut butter.

Shame on you God, shame on you for preventing people from enjoying the peanut-y goodness of Spicy Peanut Sauce.

Related, sort of, is Peanut Butter Jelly Time*.

Between my Peanut Sauce issues and my daughter's inability to consume anything but Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches (sometimes she breaks out with Nutella and Peanut Butter) it's always Peanut Butter Jelly Time in this house. (Oddly, Max is obsessed with bananas also....not judging)

*I originally saw this here, but she also emailed it to me not so long ago.

Spicy Peanut Sauce

1-1/2 tablespoons creamy peanut butter
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons rice wine vinegar (or distilled white vinegar if you have no soul)
1/2 teaspoon dark sesame oil*
1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne (I use 1/2 teaspoon cayenne...but maybe you can't handle it

Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and whisk until well blended.

*I would also willingly snort dark sesame oil through my nose so it coated my alveoli and made it impossible for me to breathe. I would slowly suffocate, but throughout my demise I would be filled with the sweet essence of sesame seeds. It would be worth it. What? You've never smelled dark sesame oil?

Comments

[jilbur]

I too am a ho for sesame in all its many guises, but especially that thing where you roast sesame seeds with salt and then it's supposed to be a 'seasoning', but to me it's just something you eat with a spoon every time you see it in the kitchen.

Just for variety's sake, try this one, too:

2 cloves garlic, sliced
1 tiny fresh red thai chili pepper (or a healthy pinch of dried red pepper flakes)
4 tsp sugar
a 1" chunk of fresh ginger, peeled and sliced thin
1 large, juicy lime or more if needed
3 Tbl vietnamese fish sauce
1/2 c peanut butter

Smash garlic, chili, ginger and sugar together with a mortar and pestle until they are a smooth paste. Squeeze in lime juice, and then use a small sharp knife to scrape the pulp of the lime in, too; then stir in fish sauce; taste to adjust sweet/sour/salt; then stir in peanut butter.

[A.K.]

I would die a happy woman while eating Massaman Gai at my favorite Thai restaurant. Much love of the peanut...