Renewing My Vows

Each year at this time, I renew my vows with Cropped Pants. We get along really well, Cropped Pants understands my body and the flaws I prefer to keep covered while not being unseasonably covered up in woolen pants.

We've had a pretty win-win relationship for 3 years now. We did have a huge argument when Cropped Pants tried to convince me he could pull off swimwear, but he realized pretty quickly he'd crossed the line.

Three years ago I said farewell to Shorts and Shorts told me: 'Good riddance you style-less dolt! There are plenty of women with small asses and normal legs. Women who actually care about being stylish and comfortable in the heat and humidity of summer. Good bye....YOU!'

I realize there are two sides to every break up story, but I guess Shorts will have to get it's own blog.

Since saying good bye to shorts I've lived in fear of cropped pants going out of style. I don't say this to my cropped pants, but I know eventually cropped pants won't be cool anymore and I won't be able to stop wearing them and I'll end up on 'What Not To Wear' and they'll ask me why I'm wearing pants that haven't been considered stylish for the last 15 years.

I'll have to explain about the vows and the shorts and that big ugly argument we had when I said goodbye. But it's the way it has to be. Please God, let cropped pants remain even marginally stylish until I'm an old lady wearing house dresses all day, everyday.

Comments

[emily]

Maybe they will hang around long enough that we will be wearing mu-mu's,and not caring how we look!lol

[Joye]

I'm a member of the cropped pants group as well. Shorts and I had a huge fight two years ago - I wanted them on and they wouldn't budge past my thighs. Here's to the Cropped Pants Club!!

[micheline proctor]

I've had an ongoing menage a trois with cropped pants AND 3/4 length shirts for such a long time. My upper arms and thighs got kicked to the curb ages ago. It's so much easier to have less skin to worry about!

[pinky]

You're a gal after my own heart. I'm wearing cropped pants right this moment. I don't think I could get through the summer without them!

And water capris? Is that one of those things (like the little skirts to go over bathing suits) that just make things worse instead of better?

[monique]

i'm okay with shorts, even better with capris, ecstatic with full length pegged jeans... my issue has been with the waists getting lower and lower and holy crap thats my butt!

[alice]

I do not do shorts. Capris and I are friends. I also like the knee-length, a-line skirt. Luckily I live in NYC, where shorts are seen as not city-fied enough. (Unless you're wearing hot pants, but no one wants to see that, not even on a sixteen-year-old. Well, maybe on a sixteen-year old.) By sparing people the sight of my marshmallow thighs, I am also being cosmopolitan.

You'll just have to move here and hang out with me!

[Melissa]

Yes! Alice...I didn't want to say that out loud, since I'm from the Midwest and we're not cosmopolitan, no matter how badly we fake it.

But yes! My cropped pants and on occasion the skirt, (I need more skirts), make me feel kind of cosmopolitan.

As for moving....the only place we're moving is where the cost of living is about half where we're living now. By my estimations....that's somewhere in Wyoming.

[ms]

thank you! Now I know I am not alone in my fairly new shorts-less existence. Pale cellulite be gone! (or at least, be-out-of-sight!) I cover my flabby self in lovely fabrics like linen, tantalizingly revealing lower calves and ankles. And, thanks to Alice, I can now consider it cosmopolitan, since I live in our nation's capital (which unlike NY is not distinguished for its fashion sense, generally, I might add).