Designer Socks.

I love Alice. I said I was going to talk about my love of others more in this year of blogging and then I forgot. But Alice was talking about her son's frilly ankle socks and it made me love her even more. The mention of frilly ankle socks also made Max ask me who this Henry is, because we all know how my son feels about frilly ankle socks.

Her story brought to mind the socks Max wears. No, he doesn't wear anklets with lace. He inherited a whole batch of hand-me-down designer socks from an acquaintance. I've always hesitated to write about this particular issue of mine, since it's really nice that someone hands me down her designer socks (and sometimes other clothes), but now I've just decided to go completely crazy and cut all ties with anyone who has been even remotely friendly to me because I'm currently in the drowning throes of depression and why do I need acquaintances?

I don't even have a problem with hand me down socks. I've, somewhere along the way, lost my sense of pride and hand me down socks seem like a great idea to me. One less thing to buy! However, I have a problem with logos on socks. On socks!

Who cares if you have Ralph Lauren socks? This makes as much sense as having a Ralph Lauren toilet plunger. Why would you want to spend good money on something so utilitarian? There's good money to be wasted elsewhere. I mean, I'm good at wasting money and I have never in my life plopped down a premium price on socks.

I may have wanted to. Or at least I may have wanted my mother to when I was 17 and in high school with kids who woke up on their birthday morning to a brand new Land Rover sitting in their driveway.

Maybe some part of me felt that socks would prove to everyone, once and for all, that I too could have a Land Rover if I wanted one but they haven't made a Ralph Lauren one yet and as you can see by my socks, I am very loyal to this brand. In fact, I have a Ralph Lauren plunger in my bathroom. I don't even own a toilet brush because Ralph Lauren hasn't come out with one yet. But when he does....I will be scrubbing my toilet in high style. Until then I guess I'll just make due with my socks and you can have your absolutely generic Land Rover. Ha!

My mother wasn't forking down $15 on a pair of Ralph Lauren socks (not even a bathroom plunger) and so I wore *gasp* generic socks. Now that I'm an adult I just don't see the allure of designer things for no reason other than a little logo on them. I like nice things. I like a stylish purse or a well made frock. But socks? No. A designer sweatshirt? No. A designer toilet brush? Okay well, I'm still tempted on that end.

Max though, inherited 40 pairs of designer socks, all with a blazing logo meant to impress people. The logos fill me with embarrassment and I hope no one will notice and think I actually wasted my hard earned money on socks with a stupid logo on the side.

I'm afraid they'll see me at the grocery store buying generic food and using coupons and they'll say to themselves...."Look at that woman spending all her money on socks to impress people and buying 'Jolly Value Canned Beef' for her family."

Today I was at the post office and a woman was collecting signatures in front.

Max was running from me on the sidewalk and I was watching him (I was!) with one eye and listening to her with my ear...it's my superpower.

The signature collecting woman was very concerned my son was going to throw himself in front of a car or a disgruntled employee (this is the Royal Oak post office after all, Original Home of Workplace Violence) so she watched him while I signed the petition.

This is a true story (I am not even exaggerating for comic effect)! She watched him by talking to him, keeping him engaged so he wouldn't do anything crazy like run into traffic. But her choice of conversation was my worst nightmare come true.

"Hi Max. Hey Max! Are those Polo socks you're wearing! Oh those are nice Polo socks you have there young man! What nice Polo socks you have little man! And I bet that shirt is Polo and those shorts and how about those shoes! Are those Polo shoes Max?"

I was furiously writing my name and address and saying under my breath...'No..just the socks. Just the stupid socks! I know they're absurd, I didn't buy them. I didn't buy them.'

I'm guessing she didn't really care about his brand name socks and she was just trying to make conversation with a three year old that didn't include the words, 'Do you have to go potty now?', because that's all he hears from me anymore.

But I felt a little stupid putting my son's designer sock ensconced feet in our 12 year old car and driving off I was certain I heard the signature lady yelling, "Hey Max! Is that your Polo car? That's a nice Polo car you've got there Max!"

I hate those socks.

Comments

[jilbur]

*patiently waiting for you to do something to alienate me, or do I have to wait and be last in line?

kidding!

The best thing about that description? is that the woman who was monomaniacally conversing with Max on the topic of the socks logo sounds absolutely 100% OCD. Sheeesh. Three year olds can be engaged on a number of topics. Spongebob Squarepants is a good start.

[Alice]

Oh, I love you, too! I do!

That would be my worst nightmare, what you just described there. Luckily Henry currently refuses to wear socks of any kind.

[Jerri Ann]

As usual, I"m cracking up here!

[Heather]

Praise God, it's not just me. Haydn has a ton of Hand me Downs in Tommy brand. I can dress my kid in head to toe Tommy and I never paid a dime fo any of it, but I always feel self conscious. A. MY clothes arent' designer anything, can't afford it. B. Our pastor/church knows Corey works a second job to make ends meet, but there Haydn is in TOMMY HILFIGGER!? I find myself telling people, "Isn't that shirt cute? So and so gave it to him."

And I have NEVER understood the point of designer t-shirts. Remember when the CK ones were in style? Oh My Gawd! It's a $#@* T-SHIRT, for crying out loud. Are you really SO in love with Calvin boy that you want to see his initials every time you look in the mirror? WHY? Plain white T-shirt: $5 White T-shirt with CK on it in black letters: $30 Does no one else see the idiocy in that?

Ok, sorry, didn't mean to blog in your comments.

[Poppy]

Heh. I read this, literally, five minutes after tossing the new Talbots Kids catalog in the trash. Talbots Kids, where you can purchase a bib for $16. $16 for something designed to catch drool and mooshed peas. I have entire outfits that cost $16!

I was at a used baby store (where they sell used baby clothes, not used babies) recently and spotted a Dior onesie. Dior. I guess it's for Baby's First Milan Fashion Week.

[Oliquig]

My roommate's daughter has hand-me-down Polo socks too. Roommate will only let her wear them if Goose is wearing long pants and boot-type shoes. You are not the only one!

[Jennifer]

Well, yeah, I see your point on the Polo thing. So...passe.

Everybody knows that Tommy hand-me-down socks are the IT thing for three year-olds these days.

Sheesh.

:-)

[no name yet]

Nothing like having people think that you shelled out cold hard cash to have your kid look like a walking billboard. I cringe at some of the name brand stuff I have received second hand. I mean, I'm appreciative, but I just feel like such a tool dressing my kid up like a product placement. I think I'd feel less silly putting the stuff on inside out so no one could see the logos! Instead, I just dress her in something else most times and wait for the logo stuff to be too small for her.

[WindyLou]

ok. maybe I am still stuck in high school, but I like having the nice brands. Maybe it was because my mom would only buy us shoes from K-Mart and Payless, and I thought everybodies feet smelled like sweaty plastic. I can remember being very embarassed over my clothes at school when I was wearing the hand me down. I guess my attitude has to do with that baggage. And I don't have any kids so maybe the logic/priorities change drastically, but I can totally see me dressing up my kids in cute brand names. Not going to pay full price, because dammit mommy gets the full price pants - she isn't going to shit in hers, but I don't think there is anything wrong with having a few nice things interspersed with the cheap stuff.

[Heather]

Like WindyLou, my mom only bought me Walmart and KMart and I got teased horribly, so for a while I lived for the name brands since I had the money, but I quickly decided if the choice was 1 shirt or 3 shirts, I'd take the 3 shirts. LOL! And yea, having kids changed it too. Now, I want to look put together and presentable and hopefully attractive, regardless of the brand on my shirt tag. The kids who teased me over brands were ignorant. As adults, most of them are no better off than me and some are worse.

[jenB]

I am somewhere in between. I like nice things, but I don't necessarily want the logo TO BE SO HUGE! I too got some hand me down stuff like Laura Ashley kids and Tommy and Liz Claiborne Kids! WHO KNEW? It is all the same when Charlotte hurls down the front I figure.

[Jennifer]

I can empathize with WindyLou's position. Until I was in the 6th grade, my mother MADE all my clothes, with an ocassional store bought hand me down from my older cousin thrown in for good measure. When she took me to Kmart and Sears, I thought I was Queen of the World. But...I still shop at those places for myself, although I confess to having upgraded in recent years to the ever glamorous Target and the dirt cheap Kohl's. It's good enough for me; I'd rather spend my money eating out, traveling, or buying craft supplies.

My kids, unfortunately, are all too happy to be free walking billboards for American Eagle and the Gap. A whole 'nother issue altogether...

[your floridian friend]

now i have to confess to you that I DO have a Ralph Lauren thing...

not that I ever pay top dollar, and not ever again, since the source of the RL things is incarcerated.

My kids don't have an RL stuff, but I do. I mean, they don't care, but I do...Ralph Lauren Beach Towels, sheets, shirts...all of them bought at the RL OUTLET in Destin (God Bless that place and never let a hurricane take it out). Oh yeah, and *I* am the proud owner of RL socks. complete with logo.

So, now you have something to totally bash me about when I am giving you a talking to about wanting something new. lol! ammunition, if you will.

[psquared]

is it just me or does the little girl in the duffle coat favor you?

I grew up with a hatred of all things 'trendy'. Who needed a pair of $35 Billabong shorts when you could get the same thing at a thrift store for $5. (said my brainwashing mother) Still to this day I avoid Tommy, Ralph, the funny little aligator and all thing's nautical. Doesn't mean I don't drool when I come across a $400 suit (that I have NO WHERE to wear).

Hoping your well

Psquared