Are you: FEELING THE PAIN?

Inside Madison's 4 foot 42 pound frame is a wrestler.

We've never actually watched wrestling in our home but tonight at bedtime talk turned to tomorrow's activities. Which include: The Worst Kind Of Torture Ever!

FIRST GRADE

Her: 'What are you and Max doing tomorrow?'
Me: 'Max has school.'

***I left out the part where I'll be dancing gayly. All by myself!***

Her: 'Well then, you won't be feeling the pain?'
Me: 'What?
Her: 'You won't be FEELING THE PAIN like I'll be FEELING THE PAIN.'
Me: 'What pain?'
Her: 'The FIRST GRADE PAIN.'

I realized quickly this was the kind of conversation which goes on and on and on. Leading to a very late bedtime and a wet faced mother in the bathroom questioning every parenting decision she's ever made. So I said, brightly, "Okay! We'll talk about The Pain tomorrow! Good night! I love you!"

What can I say, she has a flair for the dramatic. Just. Like. Her. Father. (And like me, a little.)

I didn't think much of this other conversation we had, but when I told my Texan friend about it today she was touched. So I'll share it with you too Internet.

I write little notes in Madison's lunchbox.

My mother once sent my 8 year old brother to school with a brown paper bag full of what she thought was a nutritious lunch. When my brother sat down to eat, he found a brown paper bag full of cigarettes. Because brown bag lunches AND brown bags of cigarettes are stored in the refrigerator. Duh!

I always hoped for a nice note in my lunch and not cigarettes. So Madison gets a nice note and on occasion, when I forget the Pringles, she gets cigarettes.

Usually the notes read something like: "I Love You! xoxo, Mommy"

Or!

"I think you're great! I hope you enjoy the cigarettes I packed for lunch today, it's a family tradition! Love, Mommy!"

The 4th day of school Madison said on the walk home: "Can you please not write 'I Love You' on my lunch box notes? Because it makes me cry when you write 'I Love You' and it makes me remember how much I love you. Also please don't write any hearts on my lunch notes."

So now my notes have a more formal tone: "Dearest Madison, I think you are great. Enjoy your day! Cordially, Your Mother."

Or I just write 'XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO -MOM'

Because hugs and kisses are formal enough for her.

It's so odd to think that one day, God Willing, Madison will be an eye rolling teenager who won't be able to even acknowledge my existence. When that happens I'll hold her teen age friends captive with stories about The Pain and then Madison will really be feeling The Pain!

Comments

[Elizabeth]

I'm crying, drat you.

Crying.

He's 4 years old, and I'm thinking - how am I going to sign the notes? CordiallY?

Drat you.

Oh, and yay for you both. 1st grade. Wow.

[Mir]

I'm thinking that hearing your lunchbag notes make the kid cry would be hard, yes. I, on the other hand, am directed in what I should write on each napkin... as in, the morning that I was instructed to write "something funny" and so I wrote "Hey, guess what this napkin says! SOMETHING FUNNY! (Heehee, you are so lucky to have such a funny Mama!)" I thought that was brilliant, but for some reason, my daughter came home and asked me to please stop being such a dork. Go figure.

[Michelle]

TJ got mad at me the other day when I left him a note in his lunchbox. He told me the other kids made fun of him because his mother wrote "I love you! Hope you're having a good day! Love, Mom"
WTF?!
Geesh! And here I was thinking I did something cute! ;)

[the sarcastic journalist]

"Dear Madison,

Please share these cigarettes with your classmates. I packed enough for all. But don't use them until recess and then remember to wash your hands afterwards. You don't want stinky fingers.

Sincerely,
Your mother."

[Terri]

I used to write notes in my husbands lunch, on pink paper, so the other men would make fun of him. I would also send flowers and teddy bears on his birthday. He can't wait for the monster to get a little older so I will leave him alone.

[SAJ]

I'm always amazed how people who experience "The Pain" grow up into hilarious writers who are so brilliant I can hardly stand it.

[Ninotchka]

OMG what precious children you have. That crying at the love note thing almost did me in.

I love reading your entries. You're hilarious and you have a lot of heart. And did I mention you're hilarious?

Thanks for sharing. :)

Ninotchka

[Katie]

That really is a sweet story. My mom used to put notes in my lunch and it made me cry too. Still, that was fifth grade and I had just started a new school. It's amazing that Madison is so articulate about it in first grade. Also, I never would've asked my mother not to put the notes or make them less sweet, because I would've thought that might hurt her feelings and then I would cry more. That just shows how sensitive I was! Whew - luckily, I survived and so will Madison :)

[jilbur]

So, you are going to sign her right up for drama lessons, right? Let's make some lemonade, here! She sounds really wonderful, melissabean, and I know it's no use saying 'don't worry'--but really, this is her process and it's going fine.

[Jenah]

What a great entry. You really are a good mom. What a fabulous idea for the lunches.
I mean - it saves them stealing change from the public telephones to go and buy their own ciggies..right?
;)

[RockStar Mommy]

Your kids are truly hilarious! {And adorable!}

[Gary M.]

...and one day she will be a mommy who packs notes and cigarettes in her daughter's lunch.

[Melinda]

I put notes in Mariell's lunch too! And, she keeps them. She says so if there is a day I might forget, she'd have the others "to remember of you, Mommy."

Melinda

[Philip]

"Madison will be an eye rolling teenager who won't be able to even acknowledge my existence"

One day at a time. Keep putting notes in the lunchbox until then...

[sarahbeanne]

I cried when my mom did that too. The TEACHER had to ask her to stop. Oh and the teacher was a nun.