First Day Of School.

School is back in session.

Aside from my boobs, the experience of dropping off one of my children at school each morning has made me the happiest I've been in a very long time.

I still have two weeks until Max starts school, but having one child as opposed to two is like a little bit of heaven right here on earth. Although, recently Max has started talking, a lot.

Several times during the last week of vacation I didn't think I'd make it. Madison used her spit to 'give the cat a bath.' Max is officially potty retarded. He stood in front of the toilet about to sit down (we haven't even attempted the stand up method) and he peed on my foot. This was upsetting to me for some reason. The Big Deal was/is looming large. One day last week we came home and found what looked like a kind of large disembowled bug on the floor. I closely inspected it and wondered what the hell kind of bug this could be. A few minutes later I found more pieces of the 'bug' on the floor. A moment later, I realized the fish bowl was empty...guess what my cats disembowled? Holy Fucking Gross.

Every time I called Logan to complain about things like the cat covered in Madison's spit, the potty retardation, the homicidal cats, he would reply, "Just one more week baby."

And as I melted the chocolate, I didn't think I'd make it. I really didn't think it could happen. But sure enough, time passed, and here I am. I've been so happy today, running errands without The Bickerson's. Bickerson #2 without Bickerson #1 is a lot easier to tolerate...even if he does talk a lot.

I dropped her off on Monday morning, expecting the worst and was pleasantly surprised. She was so brave and marched right into class and sat down and slyly waved at all her friends from last year and kissed me goodbye with a little nervous smile on her face. I could see in her eyes that she was nervous....but she did it anyway.

I don't always force myself to do things that make me nervous or uncomfortable, so I really admired my little girl. My nervous and anxiety ridden twin daughter. She looks like me, she acts like me, she reacts emotionally to the same things I do.....and I was so proud of her for marching into class like a FIRST GRADER!

But then tonight, Maddie cried herself to sleep and I sat in the living room (after an hour long bedtime cuddle) crying too.

Yesterday when I picked up Madison she told me about the fire drill on Wednesday. She told me Mrs Rutherford told them it would be loud when it happened and Madison didn't want to go back there because she didn't want to hear that loud fire alarm. "Can't I go to a different school?"

Then this morning she cried at drop off and had to be physically removed from my arm. Somehow this puts me in an unsettled mood in the morning. Leaving my daughter crying for me at school. Knowing the teacher has a lot of children to take care of. Knowing that she'll get lost in the shuffle. Knowing that my little girl is scared.

It all makes me feel like a horrible mother. Why is my 5 year old so afraid of being away from me?

But wait, it gets even sadder!

In the past when she's struggled with being away from me (you know, for the last 3 years since she started preschool), she was only sad at drop off. But today we got the added treat of sadness after school, and sadness during dinner and then all out sobbing at bedtime.

At bedtime we laid down together to talk and I tried to empathize by saying things like, 'I'm sorry it feels that way.' and 'I had a hard time when I started first grade too.' and 'I know it's scary now, but I promise it will get easier.'

I left out the part where it gets easier when you're like 25. I also left out the part where I tell her she's doomed by having me as a mother because she looks like me and apparantly we share the same emotional makeup.

During our bedtime chat she said something that was so smart and so heartbreaking and I'm crying again thinking about it.

"It's just that the lunchroom is so loud and it's so big and all the big kids are there and I'm only 5 and I feel like a little mouse and they're all like cats or snakes and I'm scared of all of them."

Sometimes when Maddie acts like this I feel frustrated. I feel irritated because I can't have a child who can roll with life a little easier. Mostly this happens when I can't understand or empathize with what she's feeling.

Other times, like now, I know exactly what she's feeling and I feel sick thinking of her in that school feeling scared and lost. I know what it's like to feel small and overwhelmed by all the kids and all the noise and the chaos. I felt that way in first grade and I felt that way in 12th grade.

I try not to project too much of my own experience onto her...but I feel sad because I want her to like school more than I did. I want her to have a happier childhood than I did. I want her to feel comfortable in her own skin and sometimes I feel powerless (even with my boobs) to help her.

This is probably happening because I didn't breastfeed her. Or because I'm a depressed and anxious lunatic. Or because I don't love parenting enough.

I tend to avoid Mother Guilt because I think women are mean and judgemental enough of one another without me being mean and judgemental of myself. But sometimes it's really, really hard and I just really want to raise happy and healthy little kids and sometimes I feel like I'm failing.

**Please....please....do not suggest I home school my daughter. There couldn't be anything worse for both of us.

Comments

[Short North Mama]

hahaha. I like your note at the end. People have already started suggesting that I homeschool my daughter and she is ONLY 18 MONTHS OLD! I believe, for me, homeschooling would actually be torture.

Don't give in to the mother guilt. My daughter is shy in new situations, just like I am. Just like my mom is. Some things are just in her makeup and there is nothing that you can do to change it. I think that the powerlessness is absolutely the worst part about parenting. And the older my daughter gets, the less able I am to protect her from all the things out there that can hurt her (physically or emotionally). It sucks.

[Heather]

Yea, homeschooling would mean pure torture for us too.

[Charla]

No No No home-schooling. I know that for some people it is very effective, but, as a public school teacher, the difference in a home-schooled child and one who has been in school the whole time is like daylight and dark. I hope she will feel more comfortable with the "noise" and the big, scary kids as the weeks go on. Until then, I hope the sobs will be tolerable (for your sanity).

[coolbeans]

Melissa...our daughters are a lot alike. I couldn't leave her alone at preschool without major meltdowns for over a month. It was terrible.

This lunch room thing...can you talk to her teacher about this? Can the teacher or lunch room helper person walk her through lunch for few days? Also, you said she knows some kids in her class. Maybe she can pair up with another one and they can make a pact to watch out for each other at lunch.

You don't raise a sensitive child by being a bad mother. She's alright and so are you. You're both just overwhelmed. That will pass.

[sarcastic journalist]

I remember crying for my Mom at school in second grade. And then again my freshmen year of college. And sophomore. Junior. Senior.

I don't know what to say but at least she loves you a whole lot and thinks that you're great!

[jenB]

Since I am a newbie mom I have no advice for parenting. I do have advice for you though - be gentle with yourself. I would wager that having a sensitive daughter is more likely the result of good parenting than bad parenting. I understand your worry, being crazy and sensitive myself, but she will be ok. It difficult though eh? I wish I could help make it better for both of you. I am crap at advice, but full of both sympathy and empathy.

[Lunasea]

Oh my goodness, what a heartbreaking thing for a little kid to say! Ugh, I do not look forward to that stuff at all. I'll be a mess because I'll completely understand, too.

[chris]

Isn't it just like us mothers to blame ourselves for everything??
My most difficult, frustrating child is the one who is the most like me. He is anxiety ridden, short tempered, likes order and structure...
He has all the personality traits of mine that I have spent 35+ years wishing I didn't have.
It's like having all your worst traits walking around staring at you in the face. Everytime I moan about how I feel like a failure for not having a happy-go-lucky first born child, that I must have scarred him somehow in his infancy, my husband says, "He is just like you."

We don't have the school issue since I homeschool my "dark" little children ;-) But I remember being so anxiety ridden as a child that I would throw-up everyday before school.
I think that our kids (and us) are probably more normal than we realize and the best we can do its try to give them better coping skills than we had. It sounds like you are doing exactly the right things by listening to her and sympathising.

Hoping today is better.

[Loody]

Wow, what an intelligent, eloquent kid you have there!
I know sympathy (for you and for her!) doesn't help much, but you have mine anyway. I wish there was an easy answer. Best of luck. x

[Anne]

My oldest is a sensitive kid too, and like yours, he takes after his mom. His second day of first grade, the vice principal called me because he was having a breakdown in the lunchroom. Later in the year the school wanted him to do social skills counseling because he wasn't playing with other kids on the playground. I've been on that playground and it makes even adult me want to crawl back in bed. Second grade was a whole lot better when his teacher accepted him for who he was and he felt more comfortable with the routines and the noise and the bigger kids.

My third child is one of those easygoing souls who is never upset. I imagine that the mothers who have given me advice on how to handle my oldest probably have one of these textbook kids. They think they know what they're doing because their kids make it easy.

[Leah]

My 5 year old daughter just started kindergarten and we are going through the SAME IDENTICAL EXACT experience that you are. Complete with the sadness at dinner, crying fest at bedtime, fears of the lunchroom. It's absolutely the worst thing I have ever gone through as a mom (yet). Hang in there and I'll do the same.

[Jess]

I do not have kids, but I am a worrier and very sensitive. I couldn't even go to the lunchroom until I was in grade 4. I would go home everyday for lunch to be with my mum. I needed the time out from school and to see her. Is this an option for you? At least for a little while? Or maybe every Friday she can have lunch at home? I don't know how far away your house is from her school or whether that would help or not, but I remember being five and a whole day away from my mum was just a bit too much for me to take.

No matter what you decide to do, it will be the best thing for you and your daughter and everything will work out.

[Melissa]

The problem with bringing her home for lunch each day is the double drop off. The drop offs get her seperation anxiety kicked into overdrive. So it would be like twice the stress each day.

I may do a once a week lunch at home as a 'treat' for good drop offs or something like that.....I spoke to the teacher this morning and she was nice but I don't think there's much she can do...short of holding my daughter's hand through lunch instead of eating her own lunch and taking a much needed and well deserved break during lunchtime.

Sigh.

[emily]

I have been really blessed in this area.Maybe it's because God knows I would not handle it as well as you are.Both of my girls have never fussed about drop-offs
Hannah does get anxious about trying new things.She wanted so bad to do the morning news show that the fifth graders get to do....but she backed out,afraid of having to talk loud.I am at a complete loss as to how to handle things like this,I feel so inadequate,I don't have the rightwords to reassure her that she can do this.

Don't be so hard on yourself.I hope the Big Deal is resolved soon,whatever it may be.I hate to see you burdened down by life.

[Lisa]

Yeah if I am homeschooled my kids would get Oprah as social studies. Not a good idea.

Is there a chance when Max is in you could volunteer for an hour or two and be at school for little bits?

I know its hard now, but she will adjust, because we all do. My second daughter had similar problems. She is fine with school now (she is 10), but has anxiety about orcs and witches at bedtime. Will keep herself up til 1:00 am terrified.

I blame it on her father's faulty ass genetics. Use that one. Its not your fault, it's Logan's.

[Jerri Ann]

Read all of this before passing judgement on me. I hated school and I blame my mother for it. I am a very out-going person in a group but one on one, I freak out totally. That has nothing to do with why school was hell and it was my mom's fault. So, now, why in the crap am I telling you this. Because no matter how your child is, loud and aggressive, quiet and calm....she is going to blame you for things. The good thing about all this is, I can only remember blaming my mom for the horrible events of jr. high and later, not those early years. Hell, I rarely remember those at all. I have heard horror stories of how I cried and bellowed like a banshee over being left, but I don't remember it and I don't blame my mom for that. I save the good shit to blame on her...that stuff I overcame...and your daughter will too...when she is ready. In the meantime, you do what you can and that means listening to her and helping her cope the best she can...one day she will blame you b/c she don't have the coolest clothes or shoes like her friends...then you'll know you are a pathetic excuse for a mommy, but for now, you are handling the less-important (lol) things very nicely......Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know all the books say that children are sponges and are absorbing everything we say and do....and if that were true...that would make me...omg, I can't belive I am even going to type this...

a bashful conservative homosexual

...now there..see we aren't complete sponges because I don't even know if those terms go together but that is what I would be if I were a total sponge!

[Bobbi]

Maybe you can go to her school and have lunch with her a day or two a week just until she starts to feel more comfortable...My sons school has a table outside of the lunch room just for that...
My son was also very shy in Kindergarten and 1st grade and even 2nd grade he had a few breakdowns. But now he is in 3rd grade still complains about the lunch room and I can tell he is still a little uncomfortable in the class but he and she will adjust in good time.

[Windylou]

Somehow my first post disappeared so apologies if I duplicate. My suggestion was to be a Room Mother, if there is still such a thing. Room Mothers brought cupcakes, came to read to the class etc., and it was fun to see my mom appear in the doorway unannounced sometimes. Also, my favorite aunt Emily and my mom would "do lunch" with me from time to time - standing inthe lunch line chatting like we were in the fanciest of restaurants. I don't know if that would work for you, but at least you would get an idea of who the scary kids are and help her shmooze with the nice ones.

[Mir]

Eeeek, you poor thing. I just put my "baby" on the bus for 1st grade this morning so I totally feel for you.

Here's another thing to remember. Kids let out the stress where they feel safe. Just because she's crying at bedtime and saying how she felt lost doesn't necessarily mean she was miserable all day. The good news is that she feels safe telling you about it and venting her emotions, and also that for a majority of the day she may have been fine.

Give it some time (easier said than done, but time is a marvelous thing) and just keep being the awesome mom you are. She'll be okay.

[Tex]

Do you want me to move back from Texas and take her to school everyday? She never cried when I dropped her off. That way she could just hold in all her emotions, put on a brave face and be able to support a psychiatrist when she gets older. Sounds like a plan to me...

[Liz]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT HOMESCHOOL THAT CHILD!!!!!!!! not that you would, but I always wanted to say that. Homeschooling is hell on earth. I never did it before but I had a friend who did, and I can't even imagine it. oh the requirements! you have to log so many hours and stuff... and the fanatical oragnizations that must be joined... just insert jewish-mother-type exclamations as needed on this one!

Madison is gonna be okay. it's so rough seeing em go through stuff like that, though. I went through it with my first 2, both cried and cried the first couple of weeks of school, but eventually they made friends and got the hang of stuff, and the crying stopped, but the begging to stay home or go to a different school never did. *sigh* and lucky me, i get to go through it 2 more times yet! I bet Madison gets through it fine.

Incidentally, you're not a bad mom. I know bad moms. You are NOT one of them. bad moms don't care if their kids are filthy or don't ever get potty trained, they don't feed their kids, they hit them till they bruise, all that stuff. you EMPATHIZE with Madison, and it's so obvious that even if your kids bug ya sometimes ( and whose kids don't bug them sometimes, i ask you?) that you love them very very much and want the best for them. The difference between you and the rest of us is that you have the balls to say what you do, what the rest of us are thinking and feeling, but don't have the balls to say. Honesty like that is a rare thing, and your kids are lucky to have you.

Liz

[jilbur]

What Mir said.

Are you so sure that Maddie is so much like you? Were you able to talk to your parents about feeling frightened and overwhelmed, the way she is? It sounds to me like she's coping wonderfully. Crying isn't necessarily a sign that something is wrong. She's 5--one of the younger first-graders. Lots of them--probably most of them--are scared the first weeks.

She has a wonderful mother, even if her mother doesn't seem to fully realize that. So that's gotta help.

[jenny]

Oh your poor baby-her lunchroom comment just broke my heart.

My son experiences the same separation anxiety (he cried before preschool every day for two years), he'll be entering second grade this year and it has lessened dramatically. I would waste no time in talking to her teacher, either setting up a volunteering schedule, finding out if there's a lunchroom alternative, or just getting her recommendations. Maybe quickly getting in touch with her friend's moms to schedule some time together this weekend.

A word about volunteering..try to set it up so it's at the end of the day or just prior to a favorite activity (like art or music class) that way she doesn't have to see you leave all over again - my son could never deal well with me leaving him twice. Notes or pictures or a riddle in her lunchbox might be helpful. Draw a little smiley or heart on her hand and yours - a matching set.

I feel for you - it's a really tough time and I wish I had some superior parenting advice to give you, not a lot of ideas that I probably stole from Parents magazine at one point or another. But I don't. Just empathy.

P.S. The cat/spit bath thing will make me smile all day. Thanks!

[Jenn]

Have you considered homeschooling her?

YES, totally kidding! But oh the possiblities! Lunch can be a lesson in drunken debauchery. Math can be shopping to show her how to add up the totals of the purchases. Social Studies can be talk shows. Sex Ed can be soap operas. English? Smut novels. PE? Get her to clean the house! OMG, I think I am going to homeschool now!

Seriously, sweetie, she will adjust. I know that anguish you feel as the mom. I felt it too when Brandon went through this this year. And when Zarek started 1st grade. She will adjust and be over it and going better far sooner than you will be. I'm here if you need to talk.

[Alice]

Madison is clearly both bright as hell and emotionally quite mature to describe her feelings so eloquently. AND the fact that she can articulate them to you says nothing but good things about your relationship. I second whoever said that just because she's expressing these things to you doesn't mean she's miserable all day. She might just be tired and overwhelmed at the end of the day, is all.

And cats love spit. Hey, it's how they bathe themselves! Am I right?

Also, I've heard excellent things about homeschooling.

[Heather]

My 11 year old son is very sensitive. I feel the same way. I get frustrated because other people's kids seem to go with the flow so much easier. I get frustrated because he's exactly like me. But then at the same time I know exactly what he's feeling and I feel so sad for him. It's kept me up MANY nights. I've learned that I have to be as understanding as I can and validate his feelings because the more I do that, the more confident he gets.

He's more sensitive than most kids, but he's also more aware of other people's feelings and he's very caring. I bet Maddie is too. I'd take that over having a braver kid any day.

[jill in nc]

do. not. home school. When my first child hit preschool (and kindergarten...and 1st grade) he had to be PRIED OFF MY CAR DOOR, finger by finger. He is now 15 and in high school (with 3000 other kids) and a great kid. (okay...so he's kind of lazy at school and makes mediocre grades, and gets in trouble for talking too much...but he is funny and well adjusted and happy)
Madison will be fine...the positive part is that she is so verbal and bright that she can communicate to you EXACTLY how she feels - of course that's also the bad part...because you know exactly how she feels. This does not make you a bad mother. If you were a bad mother...you just wouldn't give a fuck. Good Luck...I know it's hard to see all your least favorite character traits in your child - but it does help you understand them.

[Gary M.]

Sounds like a sensitive kid. Sensitive kids are often bright, and wrestle problems openly. A lot of kids feel that way and are too ashamed to tell their parents.

As parents we all want our children to be happier, richer, and every other kind of "er" than we were. In some ways they will be in some ways they won't.

She will tough it out and she will grow stronger. The only advice I have is listen to here and love her.

[Lynda]

First, I'll just say that I agree with all of the positive things everyone here has said about your mothering, in spades.

Second, as someone who went through exactly what you are (sensitive female first child, very difficult transition to preschool and then elementary school, etc.) and someone who sounds quite a bit like you (bouts of depression, anxiety, medication, etc.), I will tell you that this could all turn out JUST FINE. I'm a bit your senior--42 at last birthday--and my once-super-sensitive daughter is now 12. She is one of the most confident human beings I know. She does sports, gets good grades, is relatively popular, and NEVER HESITATES TO SPEAK HER MIND. Trust me, this has nothing to do with my parenting skills. I've alternated between smothering her and berating her depending on my state of mental health, patience, and compassion level. But at some point during elementary school, she developed the most amazing ability to cope. She a strong, outspoken, extraordinarily driven person. You'd never know that she had to be held, crying, at the window of her preschool every morning for the first six weeks to wave goodbye to me, or that she spent many, many hours in bed at night saying "I don't want to go back to school."

So, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, I know have the world's strongest-willed daughter just as she's entering adolescence. Wish I could have flopped that somehow . . . strong and tough at 5, and gentle and malleable at 13??? Well, so it goes.

Now, if only I could figure out how to handle my son (also named Max) as he reaches 8 and never stops talking back to me . . .

[angela marie]

I just don't understand the whole 'my kid doesn't like school, so we will homeschool' thing. When my oldest son (now 10) had these same issues as Madison, someone suggested that to me.

He has problems with transition, so I should eliminate transition within his life? whatthefuckever. How does that give him the opportunity to adjust? Along the same line...I am a medical technologist. I work in a laboratory. What do I know about teaching children? Sure I know as much as the next adult, but aren't TEACHERS trained to TEACH? I don't understand the concept of a parent saying, well, that shit is easy...I'll just teach my kids at home. Huh?!? Wha?

[Melissa]

There really are a lot of very good reasons to homeschool.

And not one of them applies to me. As a person. Because I would create the most miserable psychopaths and I'd unleash them on society at 18 and no one would know what to do with them.

[t.b.]

Know what I remember about my childhood? It wasn’t great at times. I cried on the first day o Kindergarten. I blamed my mother for TONS of stuff growing up. I begged to be home schooled instead of having to feel so afraid and lonely at school. I remember finally beginning to feel like I could make it on my own and be a somewhat fully functional adult – when I was in college. But mostly, I remembered that my Mom cared about me and wanted me to be happy, even though she couldn’t always fix it. It’s obvious that you feel the same for your daughter, and she will remember that if nothing else as she grows up. Do the best you can and she will love you for it.

[Pink Poppy]

Hi! Just found your site (through Mad Mommy Chronicles) and I LOVE IT! I feel your pain, too. After sending my children off on the school bus for their first day of school A DAY EARLY and having already received a phone call from my youngest son's teacher saying, "Wow, was he a handful today!", I await the bus' arrival each day with great angst.

I am left to wonder: Is it better to send my children to school and let EVERYONE know how un-together I am, which totally bursts their previously-held (totally incorrect) high opinions of me? Or do I homeschool my children and live with the emotional, educational and professional consequences of having left them screaming in the dining room for 10 years with stacks of books and papers in front of them while I lock myself in a closet and wait for college? These things weigh heavily on a mothers mind....

[AmyinMotown]

I remember that scared and overwhelmed feeling really, really well. I think what you've done really right here is to comfort her and validate her feelings instead of telling her she needs to Just Grow Up or some such. That's what she's going to remember. And I remember my worst times as a kid were when I felt scared or lonely or overwhelmed or sad about something, and was brushed off instead of listened to. THAT hurt. I can't remember who I was scared of in first grade but I remember not feeling like I could talk to anyone about it, and that was bad.

[Anne-Whitney]

I was just like that as a little girl too - I don't think there is any easy solution, but I do think that being sympathetic and understanding like you are goes a long way to making it better. And I really think kids just come out with these personalities - extroverted or introverted - you didn't do anything to make her like this - but your support will help her deal with it.

[Michelle]

So NOT an expert here, but I just wonder how she would respond if you were to talk openly about how change is hard and going back to school, starting another grade is change. How it's okay to be upset when transitions make us uncomfortable, but we have to find a way to keep moving forward in life even if it makes us cry sometimes?

Does she ride a bike? Can she remember how hard it was at first, but she didn't give up and now she rides like a pro?

I dunno, just a thought.

I'm sure she'll be fine and so will you!

Michelle

[Rona23]

I can't believe all these lovely, helpful postings from all these wise women! Where do you all live because it ain't by me, baby! The thing you have to remember, Melissa, is that everybody has something funky going on at home! Believe me, the kids you think are perfect have some crazy ass quirk that you would find unimagineable in your own child. If you listen on the playground, you will find this to be true. It gets me through the days, knowing no one is perfect and that things could probably be a lot worse. Your daughter is quite young, but she will adjust. My son (an old 1st grader at the newly minted age of 7) doesn't like a lot of noise,but wants to eat at school because of the extra recess. I'm gonna let him do it twice a week for now.Which means back and forth(for me)8 times a day when he comes home!! Give it time, and use some of these excellent suggestions from these nice moms. You are not alone!

[Veronica]

Don't forget: your daughter is also a bit like her father.

Hope this helps some.

And she is also her own person.

[sarahsponsda]

I compeletey agree with Alice. The fact that she could articulate her feelings, have them, tell you about them and resist, but return to school says loads of good things about your mothering and her development.

Please bear with me while I go on and on about a movie: I saw "Garden State" last night, and I can't stop thinking about a scene near the end: Andrew's mother has died and he has been on too many psych meds since he was 10 and has bascially been numb for years. He finally has a moment when he connects to his memories of his mother and feels for the first time in 16 years. Sam(antha), his new girlfriend, says something like "This is life, it hurts, but it's real." That is true about Madison's struggles; it it more important for her to struggle with you along side her (which you are doing a damn fine job of, if I may say so myself) than for her to never struggle at all. Optimal frustration, that which helps us to grow, is the best teacher. If she were suffering in silence she wouldn't be able to grow from this. Her crying, clinging and her anaolgy (what a perceptive little woman she is!) are all signs of her being where she needs to be to make these next developmental steps. The suggestion to put a note in her lunch is wonderful. It can act as a 'transitional object' like pacifiers, bears and blankies do.
One of my issues with homeschooling to address this type of issue (not as a philisophical stance, but as a band-aid for dealing with transitions) is that it gives the message the child can't cope with lifes ups and downs.

No matter how many times you buy, think of or actully melt the chocolate, you are in the struggle and that is a beautiful thing to give to your children.

Take care. Thanks for letting me 'hold forth'.
Sarahsponda

[nicole]

I agree that homeschooling is not the way to go. I mean no offense to anyone who currently homeschools their children, but there's a reason teachers have to get certain certifications and whatnot before becoming a teacher. I don't think just any parent has the skills to teach their kids, especially when they get older. In high school and beyond every teacher has a specialty and to think that one person could effectively teach their child each subject is not very realistic. Furthermore, as hard as it is, children need the socialization that school brings to their lives. I had a horrible time in grammar school and an ok time in high school but I think I'd be even more reserved and anti-social if my mom took the easy way out and eliminated those challenges from my life. I was sick to my stomach every day before school as well and just the thought of going back to school makes me sick and I got straight A's. It wasn't the work that scared me, but the people.

Oh and I can totally relate to your comment about talking too much. My fiance's six-year-old son goes on and on and on and he has a very loud voice. He just loves to talk until you find yourself nodding and not really listening because you need a break. LOL!

[amber]

I usually don't comment on extremely old posts, but this one really gets to me, because I'm having the exact same thing happen with my 3 year old at the moment. She's in daycare, which we started this week, because her birthday is directly after the cut-off time for Pre-K. It's a great school, and she really likes the school and her teachers, but doesn't like the kids, because "they scream a lot". I've been feeling horrible because of the fact that I went through the same thing when I went into kindergarten, and I was hoping that she wouldn't be so much like me when it came to something like this. I'm glad that things are getting better, and I hope I can say the same really soon.

[Christi]

I wanted to say that I homeschooled my daughter for 6 years from 4-9 years old. Teachers say that she is adapted well. She passed the TASK? I think that is the name of it. Homeschoolers get a bad rap sometimes I think. I wasn't one of those that cut out T.V.etc. I did expect more from her, but I expect the same thing in public school......yes I homeschooled for 6 years and have chose to put my children in public school. Which leads me to my 5 year old son. He has been a clingon since birth. We are having a hard time with him adjusting. Hey I didnt really homeschool him at all. We learned colors, numbers, and the alphabet. Any suggestions on helping my 5 year old cut the stings????

I will say that homeschooling is not for everyone but sometimes it is a good choice for the child....I hear some of you saying no interaction with other children....that would be wrong. Because there are alot of support groups out there that can help you. They play football. Have proms and even graduation for the Sr. There is alot out there for homeschoolers. So if you personaly make the choice to homeschool well like I said it is a choice not a duty. Just say what is best for my children and for me and my family.

Again thoughts on helping with strings????

blessings
Christi