Worst Playgroup Ever.

I joined my local MOMS Club when Max was just a baby and Maddie was about two and a half years old.

I joined the group even though I have a general disdain for large groups of women. I also tend to have a general distrust of mothers, especially mothers who stay at home because it's 'The Best Thing'. Because I don't actually believe there is such a thing.

But I joined the group anyway because, just like in every group, there are always some nice people. There may even be people who have a realistic view of motherhood. People who are maybe as frazzled and overwhelmed by the job as I am. Also, I'm lazy when it comes to making new friends. Setting up play dates makes me break into hives. With this group I am able to be a passive participant in social activities. I like that.

Of course that's not to say I have been a passive member of the group. I wrote the newsletter for many months. Created the calendar. Ran the babysitting co op. Hosted playgroups and planned field trips to bagel shops and farms. Threw holiday parties and sweated my ass off while doing it. I've been involved.

I've continued to participate in the MOMS Club, in spite of it's obvious failings, because I am socially lazy and this group allowed me a lazy social outlet. And honestly not all the mothers in the group are one dimensional. Some are funny and interesting and have a rich life outside of being a mother and I like those types of people.

But then there are other women in the group who...burn me up.

A few months ago I attended what may always be remembered in my personal log of experiences as "The Worst Playgroup Ever"

I haven't written about it until now because I was willing to give the situation and the woman involved a break. Perhaps I misunderstood her. Maybe she's just retarded and judgmental in this one area...not as a person overall. Also, as I've said many times, I only say things on this website I would be comfortable talking about in real life. Possibly with less swearing and taking of the lord's name in vain.

Obviously I don't talk about my father's suicide in general but if someone reads that about me, I'm no longer ashamed of that part of my history. My depression isn't something I talk about in general (it's, you know, kind of a drag?) but I'm not ashamed of it. I don't care if someone knows I'm depressed. It's an illness. Similarly, I am not ashamed for you to know I have a small head cold right now.

Recently I had 'words' with a member of "The Worst Playgroup Ever" and I said, in so many words: 'I don't like people who gossip. I want nothing to do with women who behave like you do.'

[I won't bore you with the details. This is a bored housewife with nothing better to do with her time but gossip and be generally annoying]

I have a friend who keeps plastic rats on her desk. When someone in the office does something stupid or annoying...she turns a rat over and that person is 'dead' to her. If I had a desk or plastic rats, this woman would be a dead rat on my desk.

Back to the "Worst Playgroup Ever."

It began with various stories of the most atrocious forms of mothering. Abusive mothers, stories from a social worker friend which were so stomach-turningly horrid, I began to wonder what could possibly be the point of sharing these kinds of stories?

Does this make us feel like better mothers because we wouldn't shake our babies and put them into a coma? Do we feel like better mothers because we're not living in poverty and addicted to drugs, neglecting our children while we try to get our next fix? YES you're a great mother! Do we need to discuss how horrible other mothers are to prove we're good mothers?

I don't know, as I sat and listened to this particular woman share horror story after horror story, my eyes began to glaze over and I felt my soul leave my body.

Soon the conversation moved on to breastfeeding.

Before I go further, you should know how much I TOTALLY LOVE BREASTFEEDING! I love it! I love boobs! And milk for babies from boobs is GREAT! I can't imagine anything better for a child! And if it works for you and your baby then WOOO HOOOO! I think that's great!

However, I also tend to see situations in shades of gray and I think breastfeeding isn't THE BEST THING, because as I said earlier...I don't believe there is such a thing, globally.

But this playgroup quickly went from HORRIBLE ABUSIVE MOTHERS (who make us feel more secure in our own mothering...I guess?) on to HORRIBLE MOTHERS WHO CHOOSE NOT TO BREASTFEED!

It started with polite disclaimers about 'I mean if you can't...well okay...but if you can, how could you not give this wonderful thing to your baby?'

Then it went onto, "My husband [a resident at the local hospital] says, it's the 'country club mothers' who are breastfeeding. Not the lower class."

Onto, "My husband tells the women he sees, 'This is a magic pill for your baby. Scientists can't create this and you can give it to your baby.' "

As this woman listed all the great things about breastfeeding, I stood up, grabbed a jump rope from the corner and hung myself. Right there in the middle of the living room.

Actually I said...in my dry and off handed way that's 'off putting' for stupid people who are making stupid sweeping statements to a group of women with several different experiences...."Well I didn't breastfeed and just look at my children...they're sickly! And STUPID!"

Awkward laughter followed.

At that point I grabbed a horse tranquilizer from my purse and jammed it into my thigh.

I thought perhaps the comment about how stupid and sickly my lower class formula fed children are would stop the boob lady from talking about how WONDERFUL the boobs are and how lower class people don't breastfeed their children. Not surprisingly, it didn't stop her. On and on she went.

But as she spoke, she grabbed her bottle of diet soda and filled her children's sippy cups with it. Her children are three years old and 13 months old.

I looked around the room, looking for someone else to notice the absurdity of this moment. Does anyone here see the absurdity of this?

Diet soda is better than formula feeding your baby? Is this the message here? How could you not breastfeed! How could you feed your child DIET SODA? Doesn't the caffeine and the aspartame and the nutrasweet and the acidic tooth eating carbonation kind of cancel out the Magic Pill of breastfeeding?

Even more so than the insane things you're putting in your child's breastfed body with a sippy cup of diet coke, my point is: We all make choices and sometimes those choices may not be 'As Good' as another. But there are several factors that go into our decisions and we're all doing the best we can.

My kids were formula fed and formula isn't 'As Good' as breast milk. But then diet soda isn't 'As Good' as a lot of other child friendly beverage choices...and I don't give my kids soda. So maybe, in the end, it all kind of balances out.

We're all really just doing the best we can.

Well we're all doing the best we can and then some of us are being extraordinarily judgmental (and also as gossipy as a school girl) and making our own set of choices that may not always be 'The Best'.

Comments

[Mir]

See, now, usually it's Super Mom who's doing the whole judgemental Breast Is Best lecture. I don't know that I could've held my tongue, seeing that woman fill SIPPY CUPS with DIET SODA. You are a woman of great restraint.

Unless you left out the part where you injected the horse tranquilizer into HER thigh. Email me, if you did. I wanna give you a high-five. ;)

[chris]

I had a similar playgroup experience with a Mom who told me in her condescending voice that she only had two children because she wanted to make sure they "had the kind of life they deserved" and "had everything they wanted".

I wanted to say that my plan was for my children to live in squalor and have nothing but lead paint chips to play with, but I bit my tongue.

And she didn't stop there, but went on to say that she had spaced her children perfectly 5 yrs apart because her husband had read that it was best for children's IQ's to be spaced exactly that far apart.

Could bite my tongue no longer and said, 'Well, since *I* have read that intelligence is hereditary I could see why you want to stack the odds in your favor.'

Needless to say I never went back to that playgroup again. Who needs to be around such judgemental self-righteous mothers?

I do a good enough job beating myself up, don't need someone else to do it for me.

[Corrie]

You know, I guess those kind of women are everywhere! I have just run into them at preschool and it drives me nuts. What's up with pouring soda into small children's sippy cups. I think I would have knocked the soda right out of her hands! That chick is whacko!

[frozenmojo]

very with you on the soda!! no way i'll let my kids drink that crap as long as i have a say. this woman was clearly clueless. i'm due in about two weeks and i've been dreading all the "mommy" stuff that you're referring to. you've definitely strengthened my resolve to avoid any "mommy gatherings"...that way i can be sure of being there for my kid instead of in jail for bitch slapping some woman who thinks she knows what's best for EVERYBODY's child. Argh!

[jenny]

Seems I have my own little science experiment going on in my house - one formula fed and one breast fed.

The formula fed boy is a drooling idiot, barely taking a break from the TV and video games to fetch another DIET SODA (all I let him drink because he's morbidly obese) and the breast fed girl, is a picture of health and a ray of athletic sunshine. Hmmmm... what's it all mean? Well, I guess because I was formula fed I'm just too stupid to figure it all out.

Do the babies not have trouble with the carbonation in the sippy cups? I confess, my son had some root beer out of a sippy a few years back and complained because it was so freakin' pressurized. Whatever. Sounds like she's got it all worked out.

And those things about my son...not so much. He's the good eating athletic one and the girl is the junk food loving picky eater.

[Melinda]

Oh, wow. I'm still trying to figure out how you were able to have so much restraint when the Diet Coke went into the sippy cups...I mean, I wonder what the resident hubby would have to say about THAT. Maybe he's handing out "magic pills" to all the other hubbies to deal with such snarky, bitchy 'mothers'?

[Karen]

You are more mature than I. I would've leaped across the room and snatched away the Diet Coke, shrieking, "OH NO! Be careful! You almost ACCIDENTALLY poured this can of chemicals into your kids' sippy cups!"

[Heatheranne]

They have a zillion support groups for breast feeders, I think we should form a support group for us formula feeders so we can deal with the righteous breast feeders.

[Anne-Whitney]

I do so hate to take pleasure from another's pain, but your playgroup story here has amused me greatly. Thanks for sharing. And I'm another mother who did not breastfeed (except first son's six-week attempt that ended in complete failure) and whose four children have never imbibed soda of any kind (except for said first son who took a sip from Dad's Coke at some point and started choking and claiming that it was attacking his throat).

[sarcastic journalist]

I went to a boob nazi meeting and I hid a bottle of formula in my bag. I hate it how people just assume that I don't feed my child formula. We do both. Whatever works, right?

I had a friend (note the word "had") who would go on tirades about the Evil Formula Companies and how they are ruining women and their boobies and how horrid! The horrors! And the horrors of Wal-Mart, trying to give people cheap toys! How dare they try to run FAO Schwartz out of business!

I'm still trying to find people for my margarita playgroup.

[FL Friend]

Although I did breastfeed my kids, I’m embarrassed to admit that my son got a taste for soda at a very early age (let’s just say he wouldn’t take a bottle but show the boy a McDonald’s Straw and oh the joy!) do you think I countered all “the magic milk” by getting him addicted to cola before he could even walk? Don’t answer, if you can’t already tell I was a formula fed baby (and I too prefer soda to milk).
I’m also a moms club member and you can meet smart, interesting and nice people there (I met you!). But I do agree, too many women in one room all talking about being the perfect parent is quite sickening. I’ve been there. Do like I do and just stick to the park days…and when they start talking and you feel your head begin to throb make a mad dash for the car… “Sorry gotta run…believe it or not Max has to POOP!!”

[Shelley]

Thank you so much for writing this. The parent vs. parent thing goes on too often, and hurts too many people.

[Melissa]

Let me reiterate: NOT opposed to breastfeeding, nor am I opposed to giving your kids soda whenever the hell you feel like it. My point is that breastfeeding is GREAT for your kids....but so is never giving them soda. It may be the best thing but maybe it's not the choice you make and that's okay also.

Park days are absolutely what has kept me....but I'm not in Florida so those park days are coming to a close. ;-)

Also...as I said there are (and were) several people I've met in the group that are fun, interesting and realistic about mothering. I love that. (And I'm glad we met through MOMS Club)

[e]

My youngest was the homebirthed, breastfed, cloth diped Mothering magazine child. and OMG she is hell on wheels now. at age 7 there is NO WAY you can tell all the "perfect" parenting she got in those early years. Now granted I love her dearly and wouldn't change a thing, but really in the end I think these individual things matter very little, they are who they are and we all simply do the best that we can.....

[Ginny]

Will you all be my friends and come over to my house for playdates? Bring your kids too, especially if you formula-fed them, like I did my son - my healthy, happy, never-had-an-ear-infection, normal weight, no-asthma-or-allergies son. I've been attending a MOPs group lately and feeling like a freak of nature because I'm not enjoying myself - now I know why! Thanks for writing this - I feel so much better.

[Arianne]

I recently joined a MOPS group too. Yesterday morning was one of the "meetings". One of the topics of discussion was kids' birthday parties. I thought I was going to be sick with all the "ettiquette" talk and everyone ASKING QUESTIONS to a speaker who moms actually HIRE to do birthday parties. I felt SOO out of place. Everyone being the perfect mom, etc., etc. made me want to barf all over the place.

I breastfed my first for quite a while, and am now breastfeeding my second. It makes me sad that there are women out there that give nursing moms a bad rep. Nursing is a total pain in the ass sometimes, a statement that those boob nazi's would have a cow over. I breastfeed as long as its working for us, not because I think its a magic pill. I'm lazy. I don't want to mix formula and wash bottles. I don't want to have to get up at night. However, not being able to have lots of red wine, having to wear a bra to bed b/c my boobs leak like Niagra, and having to constantly whip out the booby can get really old.

[emily]

I agree with ya.What works for one may not work for another.I hate generalizations.

[MamaKaren]

Thanks for a great post. I am such an "imperfect" mom, but my kids don't seem to mind too much. I totally failed at nursing the first (I didn't really want to anyway, but was browbeaten into it by the nurse who lied on my chart and put that I wanted to learn) and didn't even attempt with my second, and was relaxed enough about my parenting abilities to give it a shot with my third (did it for almost a year.) They're all OK- it's too early to make a lot of judgements on long term intelligence or anything, I guess, but the pediatrician seems happy with their development. The six-year old drinks soda sometimes, and all of them eat chicken nuggets and mac&cheese more than they ought, but they also eat apples and wheat bread and carrots. We all do the best we can to have happy and healthy families, and that's all that matters.

[Erin Lady Byrne]

I have to do a partnership with the local MOMs club as part of my librarian job. Christ, everything is just so precious with them. They were really wanting me to put all of the children's books in cute little baskets rather than in order on the shelf. They didn't seem to understand that that's not how libraries work. And they always want to sing Silent Night at storytime. They don't understand why we can't do that either.

[patti]

Well now you know I didn't de-boob Sofia until almost 2.5 years of age, but all that breastfeeding goodness was for naught, for the amount of McDonald's french fries she consumes cancels all of it out. ;o)

[flea]

Melissa, here is a link you might enjoy. I liked her checklist, especially numbers 3, 8, and 9.

http://www.militantbreastfeedingcult.com/index_a.html

I had horrible playgroup experiences as well. I hung in there for over 2 years, hoping it was at least good for Alex. When I couldn't take it anymore and we finally dropped out, he couldn't have given less of a shit about it.

[Carolyn]

Giving a 13 month old diet soda? No way! I'd have had to say something. You showed excellent restraint.

Can you believe the propoganda the cult of breastfeeding spews? I actually went to a course, at the hospital where we had baby #2 where the lactation expert teaching the class said women would not get Breast Cancer if they breastfed.

I'm nursing baby #3 now. If I were to believe the hype, my "get out of breast-cancer-jail-free card" should be arriving in the mail any minute now. hahahahaha

BTW, the bunk that breastfed babies get fewer ear infections? My oldest disproves that. She had more than a dozen in her first 10 months while I was breastfeeding her. And, those supposed immune system benefits you transfer by breastfeeding? Only as good as the one you have! My daughter and I are BOTH allergic to the same darn things.

Oh, and -I- was formula fed and I'm waaay smarter than my husband who was breastfed. So there.

[grace]

I guess this would be a good time to be thankful that my antisocial tendencies kept me away from groups like that.

[jean]

Ahh...I remember those good ol' days...listening to the "perfect moms" talk about how perfect they did everything for their perfect children - and I would feel so terrible and guilty for NOT being the "perfect mom" with perfect kids like them. Example - I remember once talking to a mom about spaghetti and I mentioned that I used "jar sauce" and she looked at me with a totally horrified face and snapped that SHE NEVER USED "JAR" SAUCE - she ALWAYS made spaghetti sauce from SCRATCH for her family! AAACCCKK! I was sure she was going to send the spaghetti police to my home to have my kids removed from such "jar sauce" abuse! I don't know why that particular spaghetti incident always sticks in my mind, perhaps because it was just too ludicrous. My way of dealing with my insecurities was to (out of pure nervousness and self-conciousness) joke around with other moms about all of my IMPERFECTIONS as a mom. I soon noticed (to my surprise!) that more and more moms began to hang out with me and joke around about THEIR shortcomings and the REALTITIES of being a mom. Misery loves company (and a sense of humor), ladies!

[Melizzard]

I've always thought that one blessing of having MS was that it gave me an "acceptable" reason not to breast feed. There is a certain satisfaction in watching the smug self-important look disappear from some woman's face when I reply to her "Oh YOU didn't breastfeed?" with "No, I felt having a Mommy with functioning motor skills was probably just as important"

My own experience with the local MOMS group was pretty dismal. As a WAHM who just moved to a new city, I contacted them because quite frankly since I work here I have to create reasons to leave the house and I don't meet many new people in my living room. Their response to my email inquiry basically went something like "We don't like women with jobs. Shove Off"

Kudos to you for taking the high road with the soda thing, not sure I could have done it.

[jean]

The word REALTITIES in my post above has nothing to do with breastfeeding - it was just a typo! (ha, ha)

[jill]

At least you get to choose NOT to socialize with this women. Unfortunately, I have a SIL who teaches parenting classes on how to "guide" toddlers during the tantrum phase while "keeping your cool". This is a person who S*C*R*E*A*M*S at her 6 month old to "stop crying damnit" because he wanted to be held. I get the pleasure of having sly comments and looks thrown my way every holiday because I'm such a horrible parent that hasn't learned to control my childs emotions. At least I am learning to keep my cool around other annoying mothers who feel the need to make comments such as the Boob Lady!

[kalisah]

dude, I want to join that margaritas play group. My Kid is 11, does that matter?

He was lucky to not have ear infections, but I contribute that more to keeping him at home until he was 18 months more than to the 4 months I breastfed.

He basically weaned himself when he figured out the bottle was MUCH easier to suck on.

I breastfed b/c I wanted to. I would never, NEVER be a cow about it. Moo.

[Jane]

Thanks for that post! It really brought me back to a memory I haven't visited in years: my own 'Worst playgroup ever'.

I live in the Netherlands and my kids are 16 & 18 now, but I was in an American Women's group when they were toddlers and we had a group like that. These were mostly wealthy women with time on their hands, and one mother in particular was just horrific. We rotated hosting the thing each Thursday, and she always had an excuse until one day she finally let us come over to her house. She lived in a great big old fancy house in the expensive neighborhood, and her house was decorated by designers and her lawn was landscaped, etc. etc.

We and our kids were not allowed to play outside because it might excite the dogs, and we weren't allowed in the livingroom. We spent the entire morning in the basement. Let me tell you, Dutch basements (most of the country is under sea level) are very musty and windowless. Needless to say, it was an odd morning, and one that was talked about for ages afterwards. She went down in the annals of playgroup history as 'the basement lady'.

[Sue]

Can I just say, 'WILL YOU TO COME TO MY PLAYGROUP?!?!?!' I have no others words for you other than, ARE YOU ME?!?!?! I can not believe how much of myself I see in you....I Love This Blog!!!!!!

[Alex]

Oh my god - I think I would have died laughing. I love the hypocrisy of some women's parenting choices. I have the 'honor' to be PTA President this year...which loosely translates into - "come and share all your bitching with me..."
Talk about gossip - nothing says immature like a grown woman saying "I think I heard that Meg doesn't like me"...does she have to? Do we all have to like you in order for us all to be on the PTA Board?
Can't we all just get along?
Alex

p.s. And I have discovered the "P" in PTA stands for petty :)

[Pam]

You need to join my MOMs group--Mother's On Martinis.

[Ginny]

Oh, or MOPs - Mothers on Prozac. I could be the freakin' president of THAT group.

[Sheryl]

I formula fed my babies, and I let them drink diet soda. Are you trying to tell me I'm going to hell? Just kidding, I already know I'm going to hell.

[jill in nc]

Sort of makes you wonder what kind of "magic pill" the all-knowing doctor-husband has his wife on, heh? Perhaps he had to use the men's "magic pill" to have those lovely children? Perhaps when the perfectly fed children get a bit older - they will give them the "magic pill" so they will behave perfectly in a classroom. You should have told her to fuck off.

[Laura]

I'll join the "Mommies Who BottleFeed" group. :-)

I'd love to see women be more of a support to each other as we take on this wonderful, challenging new role . . . and not have it be like high school or junior high all over again! Sometimes I think the people who are the most showy about their parenting values are the most insecure.

[RockStar Mommy]

I'm loving this post. You are my new hero.
There is a community online which consists of nothing but these types of women. They call themselves the BOOB NAZIS. More like self-obsessed-self-righteous-freaks. They try to convince the world that mothers that put formula in a bottle for a baby are just trying to purposely kill the baby and it's just like filling the thing up with battery acid.
You should have stuck the horse tranquilizer in her temple. These women? need to get a grip.

[Tonya]

OK, this post is way past its prime, but try as I might I can't waltz away without commenting.

Call me crazy, but I didn't think your entry was all about how nutso us breastfeeding moms are all day, every day. Sounded more like how insanely irritating it is to be trapped in a room with a self-proclaimed know-it-all.

Now my own MOMS club story. (Disclaimer: Overall I am completely satisfied with my MOMS club experience.) At a Mom's Night Out, one of the moms I thought I really liked was talking about a neighborhood she used to admire but now finds "run down". I could not for the directionally-challenged life of me figure out which neighborhood she was referring to. She then dropped her voice a couple of octaves to add that the neighborhood had "a lot of blacks." The statement was accompanied by look of frank dismay. It was at that very moment that I finally placed the neighborhood. I, of course, had to share my Eureka moment. I excitedly told her that I FINALLY knew the neighborhood to which she was referring. I know she was equally as excited when I gushed that my cousin resided in that exact location and apparently, felt right at home since she is married to a black man! I mean, how lovely that she and her husband and their two beautiful children feel so at home with all of those other black people! I'm sure they are all eating watermelon and collecting their welfare checks and shooting up crack as I write!

When, pray tell, will people learn to just shut the fuck up if they don't have anything nice to say?

[chuck]

I would have snarked on her, or at least let her know that phosphoric acid blocks calcium uptake, leading to weak bones. And then I would boobie-dance at her. If I had boobies, that is.

[rbelle]

You are my new favorite "mom blogger." Well said!

[Lizbeth]

I didn't breastfeed my daughter and I only breastfed my son for 12 weeks. Yes, I fed them formula. But my kids are 8 and 5 now and HAVE NEVER had soda -- NEVER. Which is sort of amazing since I'm a total Diet Coke addict.

Is it just me, or does it seem like the breastfed babies are more apt to drink soda? My personal theory is that once the kids get a "taste" of it through breastmilk they are addicted. I personally think that the Coca-Cola company is promoting breastfeeding in order to get babies hooked.

(lol)

[Kelly]

I have a crush on you ;)
THANK YOU for saying all this! You rock! I just linked to this entry! Love it!

[Minni]

It just makes me sad that in this society, when women are unsure of how good a job they do in mothering, they start to compare themselves to others. I remember being in a playgroup like that, and the most judgmental statements came from the most depressed and insecure people. I'm still wondering why, when you have a "support" group for women, by women, there is usually an unbearable amount of catiness.

BTW, I don't think the unhealthy attitudes are reserved for formula feeding moms. In my part of the country I've been given nasty comments because I chose to birth naturally, and I breastfeed my children each for over 2 years. Thankfully a cheerful "I'll wean them when they're ready for college" usually shuts people up.

So all I'm saying is that so many people miss the point, IMHO. Could we just support each other by saying "Im sleep deprived and clueless, how about you?"

[mothersong]

Well, I am a boob nazi, I suppose. Although as a nice Jewish girl, I don't think I'd ever put it quite like that. All my kids were breastfed, and all for over two years, and the current two year old just keeps going, like the Energizer Bunny. I had a couple of homebirths, and I've lead breastfeeding groups, use cloth diapers, the whole nine yards.

However, if ever you want to allow me into the margarita moms club, I'm so there. We're not all self-obsessed-self-righteous-freaks. Some of us are. That woman would send me over the deep end. But then, most social mommy type gatherings send me over the deep end. You know all that "It takes a village" stuff? I dont want a village. I want a couple of good friends, some rum, and some good blogs to read. I want the villagers to go entertain themselves and leave me and my kids alone.

Ah, well, I do some playgroup stuff, because my kids like people even if I don't. And my two year old drinks soda now and then, but mostly because he's the youngest of 5, and then next youngest is almost 12, and one of his sisters is 26, and there's just too many soda drinking people around to keep him away from it. He plays video games and and watches too much TV, too.

Heck, I'm going to hell too, and with my karma it'll be with the self-obsessed-self-righteous-freaks.

Nice blog.

[NotJustAMom]

Wow- it is as though you are inside my brain! I need a support group for bottle feeders, too! And having margaritas sounds like a great idea!
I am a working mom (oh, wait, I guess I mean I work TWO jobs) and spend plenty of quality time with my son. Although he was not breast fed for one second, he somehow seems very intelligent and happy as can be and is far surpassing his breast fed neighbor who is 2 and does nothing but push a toy in a sqaure around his yard for hours on end. Perhaps it is all of teh junk food he eats to go along with his breast milk, as his mother doesn't understand why nutrition beyond breast feeding is important.
MANY of my good friends breast feed. I am not (entirely) against it. It may be good for babies, but so are lots of other thinsg that the extremists seem to avoid, liek organic produce. Just generalizing here. It is just that I know I coudl use some more balanced support for bottle feeding, without a disclaimer that "breast feeding is best."