Resolutions.

Onto New Year's Resolutions. Last year my resolutions were really fucking hard. Worthwhile, yes. I followed through on them and woo hoo. No more diapers! AND Debt No More!

This year I'm going to go with things that are a little easier.

*I will conquer my phone phobia, maybe I'll even start ordering pizza. Also I will answer the phone when my mother calls at least 50% of the time.

*I will never again live without a working internet connection for more than 24 hours.

*Eat all that mayo left over from Lice Fest 2004. I will have to eat all this mayo myself since mayo makes Logan sweaty with rage (!!!)

*Force Logan to grow back his goatee. He's handsome all ways, but with facial hair he's just so hot. Without it, it's just way too reminiscent of Mr. Rock and Roll Hair, and come on.

*I'm going to stop acting so horribly awkward when people hug me. I have come to appreciate warm people who embrace you just because they're happy to see you. I used to hate it and think it forward. But now I've become more continental and I like the hug. But I hug like a retarded and grandmotherly robot. Plus, I do this really annoying back tap while I hug. Tap-Tap-Tap.

*I'm going to take an active role in adding money to our family finances and continue to live within my means. I will also continue to suck the life out of Logan insisting he sell his soul to the devil so I can have all my nasty material wishes fullfilled.

*More friends who play euchre.

*Continue linking all over the internet without asking for permission even if someone tells me not to.

*Irritate the International MOMS Club® with an endless. stream. of unapproved. links.

That is all. Have a wonderful New Year's Eve may it be full of all classes of lice killing agents. Or better yet, free of any lice at all.

Comments

[Crystal]

Love the resolutions!!!

[Dana]

You and the Mom's Club is TOO funny. Happy New Years!

[Di]

Wow, that truly is some RAD rock and roll hair!!! LOL it really takes me back; memories of high school and hanging out with the cool kids who smoked behind the auto-shop building. Just passing by and wanted to thank you for the giggles, love what you write.
-Di

[DaFFy]

I relate especially to the hugging thing. I do the annoying tap-tap too (and am uncomfortable when attacked, oops, hugged by strangers). And worst of all, I think I have passed this ugly trait onto my children. They hug me and I feel it! Tap-tap-tap...

[Loody]

Thanks for your hilarious posts this year. I hope 2005 is a great one for you and your family (but a terrible year for any lice which try to join your family).

L x

[christy kilgore-hadley]

Wow. I think we could have the same resolutions. Well, except for the Mom's Club linking thing. I also want to work on not saying "You too!" when someone tells me to "come back soon" at a restaurant or store. I always feel like such an ass when that happens, and then I try to correct it and make a joke and pretty soon the hostess at the Olive Garden is eyeing me like I'm some escaped mental patient.

[ms]

Hug greetings are bad enough, but what about the KISS greetings??!! Which side are you supposed to go on? Are you supposed to make actual lip-to-cheek contact or just kiss air (which seems pointless)? What if you get confused about which side to go toward and wind up kissing them on the middle of their face somewhere? It's all too much.

Happy New Year, and thanks for making me laugh innumerable times this year!

[minty]

YOU have phone phobia? Outgoing, gregarious, funny Melissa of Suburban Bliss doesn't like calling for a pizza or making a dental appointment? Wow--sometimes I think I'm the only one, but it's nice to know I'm not. It's a phobia I've never understood (and I still don't) but that doesn't keep me from having it. Maybe we could have a group meeting--Phonephobics Anonymous.

[alice, uptown]

Phonephobia is what makes e-mail so useful. That said, there are times I much prefer talking to typing. However, I will sing the praises of Caller ID forever. For less than half the price of one visit to the shrink, I get a year's worth of choosing when I want to talk to my mom -- or anyone else for that matter.

When I was a teenager, I loved knowing the phone was for me. 25 years later, when the phone rings, I find myself asking, from the comfort of my ergonomic chair, "who the fuck it that?" As you can imagine, I have to work fast to make my voice remotely pleasant, as if I truly adored every caller who might be a potential client.

Perhaps I should resolve not to have such hostility toward inanimate objects such as telephones or cable hookups. Then again, I am not the one in four people in my demographic group who makes resolutions.

[Heatheranne]

Yep, I'm with you on the hug thing. And maybe I should start to answer the phone when my mother in law calls instead of handing the phone to my husband saying in the most innocent voice I can conjer up "I didn't get to it quick enough." I think he may be on to me.

[e]

not helpful perhaps, but i have learned you can order pizza online from Pizza Hut. Now I HATE Pizza Hut but I also hate calling in an order (WHY? I HAVE NO F-ing CLUE) so when ever Tim is out of the country I can hop online and order!

[Laura K.]

I've got some good dip recipes using mayo - you could become the 'dip girl' at every potluck you attend. Wouldn't that be fun?! ;)

[Carrie]

How funny! I do the same hug thing. I think it's a result of having a family that never hugged. Sometimes, just to be mean, I will hug my grandma and she will get all stiff and confused. Well, I'm not really trying to be mean, it is just a game I play with myself which makes no sense to anyone but me.

[silvermine]

Oh, I totally get you about the phone calls and hugging thing. I'm just not that graceful. I always end up hitting people in the face, or putting my head the wrong way or nearly falling over when people try to hug. On the phone, I totally hate it, because for some reason I can only understand speech when I see people's lips move. I can hear perfectly fine and have no disorders as far as I know, I just am *so* much slower at hearing when I don't have lips to read. I HATE phones.

Luckily, at my job I can often get by in email and instant messages. :) Instant messages are best thing ever invented. It's a phone call in text!!

[Kris]

I'm really late on this one, but I have the phone phobia thing too, just getting ready to write a post on it, and the hugging thing, my god. I don't hug. I've had no choice since I met my husbands ex-wifes family though. I tried the good old one handed hug, and she picked up the arm I wasn't using to show me the proper way to hug. yeah.

[Phil]

Rock and Rolling-on-the-floor-laughing Hair, more like.