If it doesn't work, just scream and cry.

One of the things we'd really like to teach our kids is 'Adaptability'.

It's a kind of vague term I know but I think it's probably the life skill I am most lacking and it makes it difficult to live in this world.

My daughter gets lice...."Oh my God I'm dying!"

I don't get the job I want...."Holy shit! What do I do now?"

I could go on but then I'd be embarassed.

Sometimes we think we're doing a decent job raising kids who can 'bounce back' from disappointments.

But then one day Max can't walk through a gate because he's pushing it the wrong way and he stands there screaming like a lunatic as I calmly try to tell him to pull the gate toward him. No, the other way Max!

It's then I feel a sense of impending doom picturing my children standing screaming at the gate they can't open (in all it's varied forms) and they'll be unable to do something differently so it will work.

I also realize I spend a lot of my life standing at the gate I can't open and crying because I don't know how else to do it.

Comments

[mrs. holmes]

But then you come home and write about it on your blog and somehow figure it out, right? If not on your own, then through the tons of virtual friends you've collected. No worries.

[mamaloo]

coat the gate with olive oil, then file it alphabetically.

[DaFFy]

I've stood at that god damned gate too! Amazed I haven't seen you there. Because if I did, we could go off and have a drink or few and forget where it is :)

[Mir]

Oooooooooh, the joy of seeing ourselves in our children. A big enough swell of it and you'll find yourself putting your head in the oven. ;)

[Heatheranne]

What's really bad is having an 11 year old throw a tantrum like a 2 year old at six in the morning because his favorite jeans aren't clean. I finally told him to go put his dirty jeans on and go to school stinky.

[Lisa]

I hate it when my children and I share qualities I am embarassed we both have.
This was really well written. If you were Oprah you would say you had an "aha moment." Then you'd go back to counting your money or shoes.

[Lisa]

I hate it when my children and I share qualities I am embarassed we both have.
This was really well written. If you were Oprah you would say you had an "aha moment." Then you'd go back to counting your money or shoes.

[pismire]

I hate that gate.

[cursingmama]

We all stand at that gate, some of us find a different way in, some of us screw with the gate until it opens, some of us just stand there crying until it's opened for us, and some of us just leave.
I hope eventually it gets easier to open the gate.

[L]

When I came to that gate, I went off and moved in with Snake, the 19 year old HS janitor who used the middle school's track to "train". We lived in a trailor in his mom's backyard and I made him Twinkie N' Tuna casserole. Then I waited until he got super hopped up on meth we made in old 7UP cans and he and his friends tore that gate DOWN with their four-wheelers that had skulls airbrushed on the seats. It was GREAT, and full of lessons.

Just teach them to vandalize those gates. There's always another way in, and the minor destruction of property/theft always makes for a great, character-building story later on.

[Leslie]

I can so relate to this, Melissa.....

Somehow you're able to say just what I'm feeling... but in a much more thought-provoking way than I ever could.

Here's hoping all your gates open with ease...

[littlemiss]

Well said...and so true...fab analogy.

LMISS

[JT]

Amazing analogy, and one I battle with every day. My elder son takes after my husband's and my tendency to overdramatize, so we're *all* working on that little problem together. I do a lot of deep breathing around my kid -- it's shocking we're not all sucking on inhalers by now.

By the way, this comment from Heatheranne made me laugh out loud at work, so I'm quoting it again in mine:

"This was really well written. If you were Oprah you would say you had an "aha moment." Then you'd go back to counting your money or shoes."

[Lil' Sis]

Last night, I couldn't find the DVD I wanted, and so I tore apart my couch & tried to punch through an ugly cat painting I got at the office. I think it's genetic. We're all screwed.

miao.

[Phil]

If you drove a Hummer you could smash right through that gate. But then there'd be other issues to wrestle with. Damn but I hate that. Olive oil or otherwise.