A comparison.

My nightstand:

Logan's Nightstand:

Perhaps you didn't notice the half naked man on my husband's nightstand:

Also, he called me on his way home to tell me he's found a new song which will be added to the list of songs which might lead you to believe he's a girl.

Okay enough poking fun at Logan. Although, I'm writing this at 9pm on a Friday and he's AT THE GYM.

Gaybo.

Secret Agent Josephine has done it again.

How can you not love her?

These will be perfect for my sister and her Not Boyfriend to celebrate the upcoming holiday.

Comments

[Cori]

If it weren't for you and those cutie-pie kids, I'd really be questioning Logan's "identity".

Oh and...mean people suck. Keep your chin up! That's the only way to get all the wine out of the bottle...unless you use a really big straw. Um, nevermind!

[ann]

if it's any consolation melissa, it's 9:30pm here and my sweet husband is also at the gym. honestly, i'm just as happy to be alone!

[Kismet]

And mine ran 2 miles before he went to work. After his shower he says "I love how much energy I have after a run. I'd forgotten how good it feels" (he'd been on the treadmill all winter). Bastard. I schleped off to work feeling all rundown.
~K!

[Amy]

Not to give you annoying advice or anything .... but I was so happy to see the Writer's Market on your nightstand. :) OK, that's all I'll say.

[MelissaS]

Ha! I was wondering if anyone would notice that. I'm always thinking people.

[y]

He needs a soldier.

Heh.

[MelissaS]

I'm just saying if he asks me to put a bottle of A-1 in his bottom then we might have a problem.

[Kathy]

Hey,Melissa, how did the interview on Thursday go?

And I had the same reaction as Kismet when I saw the Writer's Market.

[sweetney]

sadly, my nightstand closely resembles your logan's. except my gay man porn is a bulb catalog, not some fitness mag.

which i suppose means that my inner gay man is, in fact, martha stewart.

[Pants]

Runner's World is not a gay magazine.

But did you see the abs on that hunk!!! Whoa...

[MelissaS]

Gaybo.

[Pants]

She won't be saying that after the attention she's getting later tonight.

[MelissaS]

The anal attention, maybe.

[Lisa]

I went to a fuckerware party years ago, and they were selling something called "Anal Ease." I am thinking I should hunt down a case and send it over to Dooce Headquarters. Let me know if Logan wants me to split it.

[alice]

Hey Melissa--I hear there's good money to be had in, you know, anal. I'm just saying.

[y]

In that song? Soldier? There's one line that's totally cracking me up...

"Homie in the Dickies"

Because if you were to switch the words around...

nevermind.

[MelissaS]

Oh Alice, if only....if only......

[SueFromOhio]

First: YOU HAVE NIGHTSTANDS?????my husband is so cheap we can't 'afford' the luxury...might as well sleep on the floor too...

Second: ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WORK OUT AT NIGHT????I've been under the impression all along that the only time I can is during the day which is impossible so I don't...which would explain my physical appearance.

Third: I THINK LOGAN AND MY HUSBAND SHOULD GET TOGETHER!!! My Jason likes TONS of girlie songs too and then when I make fun of him he gets all bent out of shape.

Fourth and final: ANAL, huh......hehehe 'fuckerware party'? Is that for real????

[MelissaS]

We bought them at a yard sale across the road when we moved in here. $20 FOR BOTH! They're oak! But the tops were stained so we painted them.

[Lisa]

Fuckerware parties, totally real. Of course they have a more dignified name, something like Discreet Secrets or something. But it's just like Tupperware or Pampered Chef. You have some sales girl in your house, serve wine and cheese and she whips out the lotions and dildos and explains which one gives you more bang for your buck. We all called it fuckerware, because it fits. Frankly I found it unnerving, but there were some people who were like "if I combine this and this, will it burn?" Oh yeah they had mint bj cream. Now truly why wouldn't they make that chocolate?

[MelissaS]

I like my sex toy shopping in solitude. I mean I know I told all of you about my 'Personal Phone' but I didn't throw a party to talk about it. But maybe I should....

[tex]

And I suppose he gets Runners World for the articles...

[m]

Ahh, He can't be gay. He has a goatee and all gay men know that a goatee is SOOOO 1995.....unless he doesn't know he is gay yet, and then you have a problem. Does he like to use the sauna or steam room after his workout?

[Nicole]

"Gaybo" is what I call my infant son (Gabe). I'm hoping it'll influence him to pay more attention to his hair than his father does. It wouldn't hurt if he hit the gym either (my husband, not the baby--Gaybo wears his fat with panache).

[Mrs. Kennedy]

Sex toy parites! My God! Melissa! That's it! The answer to all your money woes. See? I can't help it, I NEED to give advice now.

[GG]

You sleep on the wrong side of the bed...or maybe I got up on the wrong side of mine...well, anyway I like your gay hubby better than Star Jones'.

[amy]

WHAT?! Star Jones' hubby is GAY?! ;)

[amy]

Actually, not a bad idea! The feeling I get from your blog is that you are a fun kinda gal, why not investigate selling 'toys' at home parties. Have a few drinks before you go (hubby home with kids) and have some fun :) Or host an online one for your readers? (I hit your ads a few times everytime I visit, does that help? Always wondered about that..)

[Boogie's Mom]

As my husband always says, it looks like we're going to have to take away his man card.

[Alison]

My Mark keeps telling me he's got a "very well developed feminine side" and that it's all my fault. He was never issued with a man card, he is, he tells me, not a man but "a middle-bloke". Should I be worried?

[Lil' Sis]

I don't know what happened... as you were posting this, the Not-Boyfriend was taking me to a nice, expensive dinner while wearing an incredibly hot sharkskin suit. And I made him my own super-mushy (well, as super-mushy as I can get- "I could live without you, but I'd rather not.") valentine. For the love of all that's holy in this world, I figured out how to make cinnamon-scented pink vellum at home.
I am counteracting all of this new-found sap by starting a 4th band called Your Ex-Girlfriends and writing mean songs with a bunch of hot chicks. I like a little vinegar with my sugar.

Miao.

[Jamie]

Ooh - I have those linens as well! Aren't they fun? I usually put them with light blue sheets, but I love how you've paired them with green. Makes me want to run out and get new sheets. Mmmm.

[mia]

am i the only one that wants to cut somebody when i hear that soldier song?! i mean, get real "you gotta be street if you're talkin' to me" - yeah right!

and i admire your clean nightstand. mine looks more like... if a trash can exploded and then you perched a clock radio on top of it.

[Texas T-bone]

I have that copy of Runner's World. I was so glad that the new one has a photo of a woman on it.

P.S. Nightstands are pushed onto our society by the same nutjobs who sell coffee tables: The Shin Institute and Magazine Subscription Assocation. See? There's nothing but magazines on both of yours, and I bet you have or will soon injure your shin on them.

[john M]

Mel (if I may be so bold to call you that),

Tell Logan to add Kylie Minogue's "Secret (Take You Home)" to his gym music repertoire.

This gaybo has it on his cardio workout playlist and it's totally fitting...

Love your site, by the way. Check it daily to keep me laughing and keep me motivated with my own writing. Keep up the good work :)