How Risque Can A Mime Be?
It's really hard for me to believe my luck isn't about to change because this weekend we did our shopping and Sierra Nevada Pale Ale was on sale for $5.40. Miller High Life costs just about that much for the love of God. I love a bargain and a beer bargain is like a piece of heaven.
Once my sister inadvertantly slept with a mime. She didn't mean to sleep with a mime but when she came back to his apartment she found his decor to be decidedly mime like with photographs and posters of Marcel Marceau. Her date noticed the change in her mood and asked what was wrong. "There's just a lot of mimes in your room. It's....unnerving," she replied.
He told her Marcel Marceau was his idol and he started the Society Of Mimes at his school but was kicked out for performing a 'risque pantomime'. When she told me this a few months ago, it made me spray beer across the table through my nose because WHAT THE FUCK IS A RISQUE PANTOMIME?
I kept meaning to write about the mime and the lewd pantomime which knocked him right out of the Mime Society and ruined all his mime dreams, but I forgot. Until last night and I think it's just another sign that my luck is changing.
Last night my sister called and invited me out for a drink (or four) at Woodward Avenue Brewers and as we sat down our waiter came to take our order. She introduced me and after he left said, quietly, "That's the mime! The Risque Mime!" And thank God I hadn't gotten my drink yet because she mimed a blowjob and I'd have sprayed the entire place with beer.
It's a little known fact: Making fun of mimes is really entertaining.
I'd also like to share an odd little dream I had last week.
I stopped to visit my sister at her office and she was wearing a star of david armband and I asked, shocked, if they were being forced to do so by the Nazis. But no, it was actually just to get free beer! Wow, what a well thought out plan that would be. I'm sure it wouldn't offend anyone.
I came up with that dream I'm sure because Logan forced me to watch Office Space for the 89 millionth time last week and the part about the Nazi's forcing the Jews to wear pieces of flair really struck me this time as opposed to the other 88,999,999 times we watched the movie.
It's day three of vacation and surprisingly everyone is still alive. I filled in today with the zoo. Tomorrow is a Bloody Mary Playdate (don't worry! I'll let the children run around with steak knives while I get totally shit faced!). Then Friday will be the last day I have to kill. God willing something will come up, something that doesn't involve bloodshed.
When you sprayed beer out of your nose, did your nose sting for a few hours afterward?
I saw Marcel Marceau perform once. I was so bored, I couldn't even fall asleep. Perhaps if he'd done a risque pantomime, it would have been more exciting?
The idea of the Bloody Mary playdate sounds really good. Perhaps I'll start a Sangria playdate tradition (I don't like tomato juice), if it's okay with you. I'll be happy to give you credit.
Posted by: JT | 2005.02.16 at 04:38 PM
Okay, now I feel like a stalker. How did you know that 4:30-5pm is my "secret internet slackoff time" at work? I've never had a blog post at the exact moment I'm reading it before. Especially not one that's about ME, it's even more unnerving.
"Hey, check it out, Teri! I'm in a box! I'm in a box!"
miao.
Posted by: Lil' Sis | 2005.02.16 at 04:43 PM
Oh. I see I'm not the only stalker.
Posted by: Lil' Sis | 2005.02.16 at 04:45 PM
"Hey look! teri! I'm in a box and lewdly pantomiming a sexual act."
Posted by: MelissaS | 2005.02.16 at 04:47 PM
God mimes scare me. When I clicked on the Marceau link and his painted face popped up, I just about jumped out of my skin.
What would sleeping with a mime be like? Did your sis have any inclination about his mime-ness during foreplay? I imagine mimes have some pretty creepy sex moves, but I'm just guessing about this. Please ask your sister for me.
thanks,
Diane
Posted by: Di | 2005.02.16 at 05:07 PM
let's hear it for BLOODY MARYS!!!
Posted by: e$ | 2005.02.16 at 05:07 PM
It's a good thing for you that Office Space just gets funnier with repeated viewings. You know you have to laugh when Sameer busts that move in the apartment...
Posted by: Oh! Face | 2005.02.16 at 05:10 PM
Did you sis mime an orgasm?
~K!
Posted by: Kismet | 2005.02.16 at 05:45 PM
In my perfect world, which I am queen of, every Thursday is "shoot a mime" day. Bonus points for shooting a mime in a box.
I bet he was pretty quiet during sex!
Posted by: Tammy | 2005.02.16 at 05:46 PM
Did the pantomimed sex act involve thrusting one's tongue into one's cheek whilst bobbing one's head and holding one's hand in the letter "O" shape? near one's mouth? not to get too specific -- the 5:00 wine has left me a bit giddy.
Posted by: blackbird | 2005.02.16 at 05:55 PM
oh! did you know the american sign languange sign for "blowjob" pretty much looks like a mimed blowjob? i used to student teach a human sexuality class, and we had three deaf students and one 300 pound, bearded lady interpreter (that part i couldn't and didn't make up. honest.). i learned to pause after saying things like "oral sex" or "anal intercourse" because inevitably the entire class would turn to watch the interpreter sign those things out. and who could blame them? watching your student teacher say "oral sex" is nothing compared to a 300 pound bearded lady simulating a blow job. i was no competition.
Posted by: receptionista | 2005.02.16 at 07:48 PM
It happened BEFORE I found out about the lewd mimery (or ANY mimery, for that matter.) and, upon retrospect, he was quite vocal. Ah, repression...
Okay now I will go back into my happy place to forget all this again...
I'm in disneyland, I'm in disneyland, I'm in disneyland...
miao.
Posted by: Lil' Sis | 2005.02.16 at 07:54 PM
I wanted to congratulate you on making it through Wed. of winter break. I too am suffering through it, though I am nowhere near as brave as you - the ZOO in Detroit in winter?? I turned down a trip to the San Francisco zoo last week because it was too cold. Checking the weather today, your forecast is 35 degrees and snowing. The SF Zoo is 61 degrees and a few showers! Wow I'm a wimp. Did you guys wear snowsuits or what?
Posted by: Amy | 2005.02.16 at 08:27 PM
Yes, I always thought cold was cold but now 35 feels kind of warm. Plus a few weeks ago we went to the zoo in the midst of a serious blizzard so this was pretty lovely.
Desperate times and desperate measures you know.
Posted by: MelissaS | 2005.02.16 at 08:37 PM
My best friend Melly claims to be a very good mime. Hmm, I wonder if she's ever mimed The Nasty?
Posted by: Y | 2005.02.16 at 08:42 PM
Hilarious!
Posted by: Mieke | 2005.02.16 at 10:53 PM
I'm glad you're feeling better and can I just say, Dear lord, I love this blog.
Posted by: Psycho Kitty | 2005.02.16 at 11:29 PM
Cripes, Bloody Mary playdates? WHY is my oldest 12 and I have never been on a booze playdate?? This is just NOT fair... (and why the hell didn't I think of that?!)
Shiver.. mimes are scary.
Posted by: amy | 2005.02.16 at 11:56 PM
So funny! Why did the mime story arouse me just a little??
Have a great bloody mary playdate! Sounds fun! Friday night I am going to the this great brewery to drink microbrews and watch two dollar movies! I am so fucking excited it's not even funny.
Posted by: Erica | 2005.02.17 at 12:50 AM
Here's something funny. If you Google "teri sex mime", the top link is "Alt.sex.fetish.robots FAQ". Just how did Logan factor into this, exactly?
Posted by: Ken | 2005.02.17 at 12:59 AM
lol...She could just chalk it down to a mercy f*ck.She helped it to express what he had repressed.That's got to be good for a few brownie points.
Posted by: emily | 2005.02.17 at 09:29 AM
Mimes, clowns and 'Carnie' Folk scare the shit out of me...although, it might be kind of interesting to 'do' a mime or a clown....seeing Ronald McDonald having sex would be hilarious....OK, no, it wouldn't. Now I'll never be able to watch those commercials again...what about that freak-ass commercial for Burger King where the Burger 'King' is in bed with that guy...GEESH! I had nightmares for weeks.
Uh, what was the quesstion again?
Posted by: SueFromohio | 2005.02.17 at 09:54 AM
Definition of a risque mime: One who actually speaks!
Posted by: Carolyn | 2005.02.17 at 11:36 AM
Help a sister out...who has Sierra Nevada on sale that cheap? (It's usually pretty reasonable at Trader Joe's, too, FYI, I think $6? Their house brand Fat Weasel is also good n' hoppy). Also. I go to WAB all the time, it's the first restaurant we brought the baby to! Pleeeaaassseeee email me and describe the saucy mime so I can mae sure to sit in his section! Please??
Posted by: AmyinMotown | 2005.02.17 at 05:00 PM
Oh dear god, i am going to get in soooooo much trouble! Amy, if you find out, you are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN from EVER making mime-jokes when he is working! I'm still on a friendly basis with him... for now!
Posted by: Lil' Sis | 2005.02.17 at 07:54 PM
Heh, like how lil sis assures us he is VOCAL.. Guess he would have a lot of pent up energy to expend being quiet so long, why not do it in the sack?! Too funny.
This winter break sucks, not that we have a winter break up here in BC Canada but that YOU do, I miss your posts!
Posted by: Maia | 2005.02.17 at 11:50 PM
There's nothing...NOTHING! More un-sexy than a mime. I know. I grew up in the West Coast's capital of miming - San Francisco.
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