i've gone from mommy blog to unemployment blog

I just plowed through 261 pages of job postings. I have as of today sent at least 50 resumes out. This doesn't include the resumes I sent out before I started recording each one. I've interviewed at just six places and have yet to get a single job offer. I'm taking it personally.

I did locate a plasma donation center. Conveniently located on the very edge of Detroit, but don't worry it's on the suburban side of the edge. Max can sit in my lap while I sell my plasma.

Logan and I keep saying this set of years will go down as some of the darkest in our lives, in our marriage and in our life as a family. Sometimes we look at how things are going and how we've arrived at this point and it almost doesn't seem real. Sometimes we pretend it isn't real at all. And we're both shockingly good at denial.

It's not that our marriage is falling apart or that our relationship with our children isn't as strong as ever. It's all this stress we're constantly under. We can't get out from underneath it. It's a steady stream of soul sucking stress. I just hope that one day we will be able to look back at this time as something other than what it is now. Saying we'll look back at these years seems to imply that things will be different and I know everyone, including Logan, thinks that's true but I'm totally and completely deflated.

And you know, when I say Logan loves his job but doesn't feel compensated for the amount of work he does? And remember all that email I got telling me how horrible I was to want to tear the joy from my husband's life in the name of money?

Let's try to keep in mind that this is a public website and I can't exactly vent about my husband's job and share his vents about his job because as neat as it would be for me to get my husband Dooced, it's certainly not worth it.

But trust me he has complaints about his job. And I'd like to share them with you...but I can't because it's 5pm and I am at the beginning of the illness that's been roaming through my house and I have to go make dinner because 'Mr I Love My Fucking Job And My Wife Just Wants To Suck The Joy From My Life' is at the office finishing up a project because that's the kind of worker he is. He stayed until 11pm and 12am three out of five nights last week and he's been at the office since 11am this morning.

I'm sick, exhausted and still unemployed!

Comments

[Amanda]

I, too, am living the unemployed life, searching desperately for a job. If it makes you feel any better, I've sent out about 50 resumes as well and I haven't gottena a single interview. Not too encouraging for a recent college graduate. What were those four years for anyway?

[pinky]

you are a very talented woman, Melissa - and I have to believe that your talents are the key to some of the stress being lifted off of yours and Logan's shoulders. I don't say this as a "pressure's on YOU!" kind of thing - just that some time, in some new way that you probably haven't even imagined yet, you will find something to do that will lighten the load. Having read you for quite a while now, i believe that to be true.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

don't get him "dooced," Its not worth it. Before I decided to stay home for good, I interviewed for jobs. And I know how it felt. Even worse was being scared they would ask me "why you left my job."

"Because I was stupid and spoke the truth and they caught on."

here's to hoping things turn around.

[SAJ]

I agree with Pinky. I'm actually here from the future (just got out of my time machine) and let me tell you, it is going to be okay. I can't tell you exactly how it all worked out but it did and it was worth it.

[Mir]

You WILL look back on this time as awful (because it is) but also as a necessary stage on the way to where you'll be looking back on it FROM (which will be a better place entirely). And yes, that may be--syntacticly--the ugliest sentence in the history of mankind, but it's true.

And I say this as someone who's been through an adequate helping of crap, myself, so I don't mean "buck up little camper" or anything, just "hang in there and I promise it will get better."

[Lisa S (& Riley, Bella, & Adelyn)]

Ugh. You and me both, sister.

[jenB]

i don't have any profound words of wisdom. other than i know things will get better. and i think you are awesome.

[MollieBee]

Dude, according to my husband, who was king of the slackers in college, you can make a good living off of plasma.

Seriously, I know everything sucks right now, but I have faith that it will get better. You and your husband are obviously very talented and smart people and it will work out. Plus, your kids are gorgeous, you could make some big money getting them in pagents (sp?) and commercials!

;)

[Wayne]

I've had friends who were, you know, in pretty horrible places, unhappy with this and that and sort of wondering what life was doing to them. And then, years later, they'd somehow gotten themselves to a better place. So, it happens, evidently.

I have two jobs -- want one? No plasma involved, unfortunately.

[Bettsi]

Hi Melissa, I love your blog and it has been so sad to see you going through so much lately. As a mom to a 14, 11 and 8 year old group, I can tell you it will get better. Something happens when children are at your kids' age. It's not them, but somehow life falls apart around you. It truly does get better. I don't know how or why, but I've seen it happen enough times to say confidently that it REALLY WILL! Hang in there.

[Julie M]

I tried to sell my plasma once, but was rejected. Apparently, they use a very large gauge needle and said my veins were too small. I was so hard up for cash that I cried right there.

[landismom]

I'm in my fifth job in the last six years. During that time, I also managed to have two children, and be an off-and-on SAHM (mostly during periods of un- or under-employment). It sucks that our society is not better set up to support women who want to work, but also to be good moms who are there for their kids. Last week, the center director of my son's daycare center gave us our tax form for last year (when we had two kids in daycare for most of the year--thank god public school is free!), and I almost fell over. It is ridiculous that a smart, funny woman like you can't find a job that is good enough to pay those kinds of costs.

BTW, you know what non-content thing I love about your blog? Not having to come up with a comment title.

[landismom]

Oh, also, if you become an unemployment blog, does that still make you self-centered, or are you allowed to blog about something like that without being strung up by the NYT?

[erinire]

My dad got laid off at 53 years old and he sent out HUNDREDS of resumes and went on SO DAMN MANY "networking meetings" that i thought it would never end, but in the end he DID get a job!!! don't give up!

:)

[em]

Hi Melissa,
I think you need to move, Metro-Detroit is THE soul sucker. We moved away of our own accord almost 2 years ago and looking back it was the smartest thing we ever did. No more $1400 a month rent for a house in R.O., no more 45 minute commutes for both my husband and I, no more monster SUV's and no more cold weather. Amazingly there are parts of the country you can live, on a normal salary, have a house, 2 cars, eat well, take a vacation, have decent clothes, and not be in debt up to your eyeballs, unfortunately Detroit is not one of those places. Sure I miss Little Tree, Lotus, and Zumba, but that's about it. And remember, in Royal Oak, even with rotten pipes, and sewage everywhere you could probably still make a hefty profit if you sold your house!

[Amanda]

I have these moments too, but mostly my husband has them and I try to talk him down from his crazy mental cliff. I always tell him that the worst thing that can happen is that we'd be forced to sell our place and move in with my mother-in-law. But we've been there and done that already and WE STILL HAVE ALL OUR BODY PARTS! So how bad could it be, really?

Things will work out fine and then you'll look back, hopefully with all limbs accounted for and fully intact, and be grateful for the journey.

If it makes you feel any better, we have a negative net worth in the SIX FIGURES!! And I try to stay positive about it. We'll pay off those student loans just in time to send our own kids to college!

[MelissaS]

Amanda, if you want me to jump off a bridge, mention moving in with in laws again.

[SuzanH]

M--

I have to agree with em, Metro Detroit is a soul sucker. We are in a similar, yet worse, boat, in that I've been looking for a job for about 8 or 9 months and my husband got laid off in September, so we are barely staying above water.

Tons of resumes sent out--I think that Borders will refuse to hire me on the grounds that I inundate their job board at least every other day--for ever imaginable job, but nothing. Several interviews, but they all go with someone else. Plus, I educated myself out of a lot of entry-level positions while staying at home with my now 8 year old daughter. No one wants to hire an M.A. to be a receptionist.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It's this damnable economy and double damned state. And I read in my UM alumni mag that Michigan has the LOWEST retention rate for college grads. Nice.
Granholm better get those jobs in FAST.

Hang tough, kiddo.

[Joe]

Good luck on the job search...I know it's no fun, but keep after it.

BTW...didn't know you were in Detroit...I was up there last week for business and stumbled across the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile...it was the highlight of my trip!

Good luck with the job search!

[flea]

Would you like to sell sex toys? Because I could totally hook you up, baby.

[MelissaS]

Can I sell them calling them "Phones" and saying things like, "I'd like to talk to you about a great calling plan" and "Sometimes you want to make a phone call and you want it to be a conference call but then other times maybe you want to talk all alone." or "Maybe you want to talk through the usual channels but then maybe sometimes you want to make a call through to the alternative line."

See this would never work, no one would know what I was talking about and I'd be blushing bright bright red. But maybe I should start selling for Talk America!

[Jennifer]

Welcome to the world of the unemployed Mommy! (It sucks!!)

[Sarah]

Over one year of unemployment in our household, with me as sole breadwinner. Not fun. The fact that it will get better doesn't change the fact that it sucks right now. It casts a shadow over every part of your life.

I'm not sure how bad your sitution really is, but if you set up an account, I'll glady donate a bit of cash, and I'm sure many others would too....I actually subscribed to Jane last year for $10....imagine what I might be persuaded to offer up for something like your site that's actually really good reading.

[Amanda]

Sorry for mentioning the unmentionable and please don't jump off a bridge!! There are plenty of roads to pick before that one.

Like selling tupperware. Or (gasp!) retail. I hear there's good money in used cars. And there's always phone sex...

But seriously, I've been a financial planner for over 7 years now. I'd be happy to offer up my services (which are stellar and usually start at around $5k) at no charge. A fresh pair of eyes on the situation might be all you really need. I've always hated the idea that my industry only really caters to those LEAST in need of actual financial advice.

[Boogie's Mom]

I just found your site from my friend Secret Agent Josephine. Love your writing. This post made me want to comment, though. I, too, was out of work and frustrated with the lack of responses, interviews, people who were just generally interested in me. It does get better. Just try to keep sane until then! :)