Hey I said there would be rambling. Not drunken though.

I have a sore throat. I would rather puke out of my nose than have a sore throat. Sore throats render me a lifeless pool of sobbing like no other ailment.

The good news is that I found a bottle of nyquil in the linen closet last night with one last dose of mind numbing goodness. Then the bad news is that sometimes when I take nyquil, once my body processes the alcohol (with amazing efficiency) THANK YOU IRISH GENES, I wake up wide awake a few hours later.

We ate pizza in front of the tv (if Logan could have seen the crumbs all over the rug he would have exploded!) and watched Pee Wee's Big Adventure for the fourth time this week. I ate my pizza because the scratchiness felt good on my throat and then fell asleep for most of the movie while the kids watched and/or wiped tomato sauce all over the sofa. (Again, Logan goes down in flames!)

I took the nyquil at 8:15 after I put the children in bed and begged them to learn sign language- Stat! because talking was hurting my throat. If I ever wondered how much talking was involved in raising children I felt every painful word I have to use to raise these children last night.

Because my body processes the nyquil so fast I found myself wide awake at 11pm. And my throat still hurt and this is the awesomest awesome! My period started! With cramps even!

Frankly I was sort of relieved to find the period started because it was over a week late and I started to envision some freak mutant sperm who'd been stalking my uterus since Logan's vasectomy over a year ago and the three sperm free samples he'd had checked at the lab. Oh yes and there's the part where I had the lining of my uterus burned out rendering it unusable for sustaining and growing life.

But believe me, it's the kind of thing that could happen to me. Seriously. The other good news is that my annual is next week and oops! I guess I'll have to reschdule. Hooray.

Anyway...I sprayed my throat with chloroseptic, took more motrin and fought my way back to sleep and then this morning my children GOD LOVE THEM! Woke up and played quietly in their rooms and then Madison got breakfast for them both (eggs benedict even! ha ha ha) and then they played until 10am without fighting and let me sleep for over 12 hours total.

I don't even need Logan.

Well except that it's 11am now and we're all still in our pajamas and Max has asked me 3 times if we can go to the toystore to pick out a plastic shark. And when I tell him, "Your birthday is TOMORROW! We're not buying toys." I guess he thinks a birthday means the END OF ALL TOYS! Because he starts crying and sobbing and yesterday he did this all day too.

He had a meltdown which ended in a nap because I wouldn't take him to the park where he lost the first plastic shark....NINE MONTHS AGO....because he KNOWS it's still there.

It's not still there. I'm sure of it.

Comments

[buffi]

Don't you love it when they are self-sufficient like that?! Oh, and the PG scare happens to me, too, even after the vasectomy & sprem-free lab reports. Perhaps because I got prg w/ #3 whlie on the pill and nursing #2!! So, I totally understand.

Hope you are feeling better, Melissa. If your throat is still sore & you feel like getting out, there is a tea called "Throat Coat" and it is wonderful. I have found it at most grocery stores but also @ the health food store in a pinch.

[Cricket]

Isn't it amazing how they can remember losing stuff?

We gave my son a big Buzz Lightyear when he was about 2. It was Xmas. The thing cost close to $30 at the Disney Outlet. Honestly, big splurge. Of course the thing was a pile of crap. The head wouldn't stay up. Everything flopped around. Turns out it was supposed to morph with 3 or 4 other BL-related characters into something big, elaborate, and very, very expensive.

I got pissed at it one night and threw it away. Me, the never-thrwo-away-er.

Just recently, my 7.5 yo son asked again about his Buzz Lightyear. He will go to college seeking it, probably at Lightyear U or something.

[MollieBee]

"the part where I had the lining of my uterus burned out rendering it unusable for sustaining and growing life"

Damn dude, you don't go half ass do you?

Kids remember everything! It sucks.

[CityMama]

I keep Nyquil in the linen closet, too. Feel better.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

Dear Max,

I took your shark from the park. In the dark. On a lark. It is now in the ocean. Like a potion.

Your friend,
SJ

[Angel]

Aww hope you're feeling better soon! I swear by Tylenol Sore Throat (shoot it's called something else now) because yeah, sore throats SUCK (though barf is still my nemesis). I also use homeopathic sore throat remedies, I think it helps some. Or at least makes me whimper less.

Happy Birthday to Max!

[Penny Pressed]

Hey, whiskey is good for a sore throat! If your linen closet is anything like mine, you'll find a whole bottle in there. Next to the xanax. And the ear plugs. (It's better to get all that stuff out now anyway--you'll need it for the birthday tomorrow.)

[blackbird]

There is nothing worse than the sore throat. NOTHING. Alka Seltzer Plus does help. Feel better.

[tracy]

I'll second the Tylenol Sore Throat. I don't know why it works so well, but shit, it does.

[Grace]

Tylenol Sore Throat? Never heard of it. But I should stock up. The damn Robitussin I bought DOES NOT WORK for me! I'd take it and I'd be hacking a lung a couple hours later. The Nyquil is hit and miss with me too. It's so frustrating not having something that'll kill the cough for more than 6 hours AND help me sleep....so I know what you're going through girl! But at least you've got some helpful kiddos...

[SueFromOhio]

When I was in college and didn't have money for beer, we would raid everyone's cold meds and we found Nyquil to be the best 'high'. The sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, drunken galvanizing*, so you can have fucked up dreams, medicine....

*Melissa's word ;)

[terrilylnn]

My kid took his two shiny quarters and put them in a machine and got back a shiny "silver" ring, which he called his magic ring. He dropped it in the yard before the night was out. Two years later, he is still convinced he'll find it.

I suspect it will turn up about the same time as the sunglasses that he dropped into the ocean three years ago, but hey, I'm an optimist like that.

[terrilynn]

How in God's name is it possible that I misspelled my OWN NAME in that post?

[Trina]

I'll see that sore throat, and raise you a stomach flu (mine) and a kid with pinkeye . . .