Randomly

Yesterday I was five minutes late picking up Madison from school due to a long running playgroup which was at a home a little further away than I remembered.

As we walked back to the car Madison said, "Mrs Rutherford likes Oprah too!"

I said, "Really? Wow."

"Yep, I told her you were probably late because you were watching Oprah."

Mrs Rutherford must think I'm one excellent parent. For the record, school gets out at 3:25 and Oprah doesn't start until 4pm. It's a good thing I don't like Dr Phil though since that starts at 3pm and runs until 4pm, I'd never pick up Madison on time.

Max's birthday party is this weekend and I'm so excited. There will be lovely Happy Birthday signs and little favor bags and not a single party store theme item and I can't wait.

It also turns out having a birthday party that isn't a theme from the party store takes a lot more time and energy. Damn it. You can never have it all can you?

I'm also busy working for the realtors. Do you remember me coveting thy playdates furniture? Well it turns out Stephanie's parents (who are also the realtors I'm working for) are really great people. They like each other after so many years of marriage and they make each other laugh and the seem to genuinely enjoy each others company. Also her dad is a big teddy bear ish looking person and quite honestly, there's a big aching hole in my heart where a good father may have gone so I'm drawn to men (in a non sexual, admiring kind of way) who seem like good guys.

So not only do I have furniture envy for my friend, I also have a crush on her parents. Great! I promise I won't lick them.

[adding]

Who set up the printer to function wirelessly this weekend? Me. Who doesn't know how to do that? Logan. Only because he has a personal constitutional amendment banning instruction manuals or the 'help' function on a computer.

Logan thinks it quite comical that I brush my teeth while I go to the bathroom before bed. Tell me I'm not the only one who uses this time management technique? Besides, I often read email while using the bathroom so suddenly the teeth brushing seems fine doesn't it.

Don't worry, I've never sent you email from the toilet. Unless you're my sister, then I may have. Unless it totally grosses her out...then I definitely have.

Comments

[Alice]

Well, you know, if you didn't drink so much, you wouldn't be late to pick up your kid.

(You know I'm kidding! Come here so I can kiss you!)

[MelissaS]

Wait a minute, wasn't it just yesterday you were encouraging me to drink my face off, write and then shoot my brains out a la Hemingway. I can't keep up.

Why don't you just move to the suburbs and drink with us and be late to pick up the children anyway? gah...you're so provincial.

[Jerri Ann]

hey, my husband thinks I am nuts brushing and pottying at the same time but now Walker has taken up the habit, tehehe, best way to get his goat!

[nicole]

yup, brush my teeth while peeing. and use the computer while peeing.

i think it's good i'm already married, because those traits wouldn't sound so good in a personal ad.

[LisaV]

I didn't think of brushing my teeth while peeing. But I do surf the 'net. Why the do you think it's called a lap top? When Steve Jobs was over he said he did it too. Gotta flush now.

[buffi]

If you didn't brush your teeth while going to the toilet how would you ever get it all done?!

BTW the Dallas Morning News had a piece Sunday comparing "Cocktail Moms" to "Super Moms." It was awesome. I'll try to find the link for you.

[Kat]

I'm another one who pees and brushes at the same time... never thought anything of it. Uh oh. Is that wierd?

But it never would occur to me to use an electronic device like a laptop near water... but that's just me.

~kat

[Kasmira]

I don't pee and brush (brushing always triggers my gag reflex, and how much worse it would be if I was smelling pee at the same time!) but my husband does. I'm sure it's a great time management technique, but, being a man, he can't REALLY do two things at once and ends up spitting toothpaste everywhere but in the toilet. On the plant, on the bathmat, on the side of the toilet, etc. I don't even WANT to know where the pee goes.

[emily]

Yep,I'm a closet potty brusher too.I guess I'm not so much in the closet now ,huh?

[Jenn]

Ok, delurking for the first time just to say, please do a google search on the phrase "cocktail moms"--please, please, please--

[jenn]

I remembered that I am not an idiot--don't do the google search, here is the link
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22cocktail+moms%22&sourceid=mozilla-search&start=0&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official

[Sarcastic Journalist]

If I'm trying to get ready fast, I do brush my teeth and potty. Sometimes I get dressed or put on my shoes or whatever.

And sometimes...I surf blogs. I once wrote a blog entry on the pot.

[A]

While I don't do much on the potty (other than brushing my teeth), I loooooooooove to multi-task while brushing my teeth. Pick out clothes (if I've just gotten up), put on my coat (if I'm about to leave), start my car (remote start = God), pack my lunch, etc.

I find that I end up standing with the toothbrush hanging out of my mouth, not brushing, half of the time. Perhaps I should not recommend this habit.

[reenie]

Can you be my mom? Seriously. I read the "Coveting" entry and my God woman, you can write. (I don't often take the Lord's name in vain so you know I mean it.)

"I stood there, naked, openely weeping." What a brilliant end to a fabulous mind picture.

I used to play solitaire on my laptop while peeing...and also if I had to spend a little more *time* on the potty.

[Liz]

Phew! I had to read Jerri Ann's comments twice because I was confused about her brushing her nuts. Good mothering is all about multi-tasking.

[Grace]

What's funny about me and my sister is that we'll often call each other when the other is using the [clearing throat] facilities...

[WannaBeMom]

I always pee and brush. I thought I was alone in the world. Thank God there's a crowd of us. I also read while drying my hair. It's such a colossally boring task.

Don't feel bad about Oprah. When I was in grade school, about the only thing my parents could afford in terms of a night out was happy hour on Thursday night. Of course they couldn't afford a sitter, so I went with them. In first grade when my teacher told the class to write Thursday at the top of our papers, I groaned.

"Oh, Katie," she said, "What's the problem with Thursday?" (I have always been more than a little dramatic.)

"It's happy hour day," I said to her. "Drink, drink, drink--that's all my parents do."

My mother has still not forgiven me.

[Deborah]

I potty and brush each and every night. The hubby has always been grossed out by this process--he claims I am causing some cross contamination and breaking hygeine codes. I have never been able to admit this out loud before--I was afraid admiting it outloud would cause my friends to shun me. After reading your post and comments it seems almost normal. I feel better now. And I also wonder...does anyone else unbutton their pants while driving?

[Tzumama]

Another member of the "brush -n- flush" multi-tasking club here!

[cursingmama]

I'm so glad your job is working out, and that you haven't licked the realtors....yet.
I'm not a pee/brusher or even a pee/e-mailer, I'm a little "nuts" about sanitation ideas and getting my stuff too close to the toilet, my toothbrush particularly...I do put make-up on while brushing in the morning & that takes talent.

[Lil' Sis]

My roomate brushes her teeth in the shower. So we have little stuck-on bits of toothpaste to walk in. Gross. I can't imagine brushing my teeth while on the pot. I have Celiac Disease and I am on there a LOT. But that's not "cleaning time", it's "voiding time." About the closest I get to bathroom multi-tasking is playing with the cat (heh, if you take that innuendo, i sound REALLY gross!) while going, or washing my hands & cleaning my ears while Listerine-ing.

And I hate talking to you while you pee. GROSS! That's private time!

Miao.

[Bonnie]

I just don't get the whole brushing while peeing thing. Where do you spit?

I would love to be able to be online while peeing, but I don't think my laptop battery would last that long. Not because I'm an especially voluminous voider, more because my battery sucks.

Oh, and something about being on the phone with my sister makes me HAVE to go to the bathroom! Even if I just went recently.

[Leta]

Yep, pee & brush. The other day I was trying to think of some other bathroom things to do at the same time, but couldn't come up with any good ones.

[chanzi]

I totally brush my teeth while doing other things--not usually peeing, but I'll leave the bathroom, walk back to my room and check my email, etc. Everyone in my family used to brush their teeth together, so now I don't really see why I should shut myself in the bathroom by myself instead of talking to my roommate while I'm brushing my teeth! Hmm, maybe that's why I don't do the peeing while brushing thing.

[Maia]

I brush and shower.. Not talented enough to pee and brush, that would require too much concentration!
I have to admit that if anyone other than my CLOSEST friend calls and I hear a flush I am grossed out. I once had a less than close friend call me from her bath tub and that was just a bit too much for me. A prude? Hell no, just don't want to imagine her in there doing it while talking to me! (Especially with all her piercings, bleh, too much information already!)

[Jen]

Please come up with some more interesting entires, do you really think you can make a book out this stuff? Multitaksing mommy, ugh...

[Sarah]

Now Jen, envy isn't your color.

Did your mother teach you any manners?

[MelissaS]

Wow, thanks for your kindly worded opinion Jen.

Blogs aren't books. Thanks!

[briantologist]

Dude, I totally brush my teeth while taking my pre-bed whiz. Which, being one of these man-types, I take standing up. This is not easy, but such is my dedication to cutting down on the time between when I decide to go to bed and when I hit the sheets.

[Tammy]

I've never peed while brushing my teeth, but my mother taught me to blow my nose while peeing. Your nose needs cleaning, and it's not like you're busy....
I brush my teeth and put on make-up at the same time. It doesn't always end up looking pretty.

[Sarah]

I've been known to unbutton my pants when I'm driving.. but only when I've really got The Urge and there's not a rest stop in sight. I've gone so far as to unzip, as well, when my bladder was pushed to the limits. You're not the only one.

As for the brushing teeth/peeing? Not so much. It's not that I don't appreciate the multi-tasking, I just don't ever brush my teeth. Kidding!

[Davezilla]

Cats. Q-Tips. Rottweilers.

[Maia]

I usually multi-task under duress.. Brush my teeth in the shower before hopping in the sheets with the hubby. Anxious to get in there? Maybe ;)

[ada]

Like Maia, I'm a tooth brusher and shower person. I'm a VERY messy tooth brusher so a shower is the ONLY way to go, unfortunately.

Make my lunch while brushing? Yeah, that wouldn't work - unless I wanted a minty fresh taste to my day old spagetti sauce!

[Rachael]

I multitask all the time. I walk around the house and brush my teeth, pee and talk on the phone, etc.

And Melissa, I would buy a book of your writing. Your entries are great!