Do It For Logan.

Often on this website someone comments or emails me saying something which is only meant to be helpful. This something is usually along the lines of, "well, there is a very emotionally healthy and stable way to deal with this. If you did, a, b or c, you would be fine. You're wasting a lot of emotion on this." You realize I'm paraphrasing for comedic effect, but sometimes the emails say things like that or even better. "Get a grip you stupid insecure lunatic."

I know these emails and comments come in the spirit of helping but somehow these comments leave me feeling like I haven't done a very good job expressing myself. I am many things and emotionally healthy is not one of those things. I'm touched you think I am emotionally healthy or stable, but really?

If I didn't "waste" emotion obsessing about things, I'd like to think this blog would be much different than it is now. Thinking things through by writing about them, venting about things that anger or upset me, stewing in my own juices until I am ready to move on is what I do. Often I'll be doing that for much longer than you are willing or able to listen. That's fine, you do know that don't you?

If I didn't obsess, stew or vent the most traumatic events of I've covered on this blog would have been written much differently. Some might say 'less entertaining'. But I don't know. Maybe you find mental stability entertaining.

Instead of this you might have this:

"4.21.05 Today, I offended my in laws by mentioning to a reporter the simple fact that we do not speak. They've contacted the reporter to 'tell the real story'. I stuck to my boundary, they have humiliated me and given my husband more undue grief. But I believe my boundaries with them are reasonable and I haven't crossed them unfairly so I'm not going to think about it anymore. The End."

Instead of this you may have read this:

"4.27.05 Today, I offended a fellow preschool mother today by posting a picture of her child supposedly saying the 'F-word'. She is really really upset. I feel horrible. I took the picture off the website and apologized profusely and am doing so again here. She called the preschool also, but I guess I did everything I can so I'm just going to accept her waltz of displeasure as she avoids me in the halls of the school. Oh well! The End."

Remember Lice Fest? I kind of freaked out while dealing with that.

Just imagine if this were the website of someone with emotional stability and survival skills?

"12.17.2004 It's been a week of dealing with the head lice. When you think about it slathering your child's head in mayonaisse and chemicals and olive oil, is really nothing when you think of the plight of the tse tse fly. So I'm actually really lucky. The End!"

My job hunt? Remember?

What if I had a healthy dose of bounce back-ability?

"Today I failed miserably at my 10th job interview in three months. I failed really badly and I think this might be as low as it gets. But at least I don't have syphilis. But if I did, I'll tell you what, I'd just be happy it wasn't a flesh eating disease."

Mentally healthy? Yes. Entertaining? Not really.

When you think I'm talking about something for too long I want you to do something Logan wishes he could do each night when he lays his angelic head down on the pillow and hears a voice from the other side of the bed saying, "You know what really bugs me about this?"

He can't click that little button in the upper left hand corner of your computer screen and turn me off.

He has to listen, you don't. Do it for Logan.

Do it for LOGAN!

Comments

[stillheidi]

You just rant away all you want....I'll keep reading! I can't imagine anyone not finding you entertaining. I pity them!

[Susan]

I don't know about the rest of your readers, but I'll do just about anything for Logan.

And for the love of god, don't choose Mentally Healthy over Entertaining. I live in the world of the Mentally Healthy every day, and really, it's just dull. The Mentally Healthy are why I need this web site. Be entertaining. Be MORE entertaining! Now! And post more pictures of your toes. Please.

Do it for Logan.

[Phoebe]

I am a regular lurker her....and while I am a social worker and should make the 'social worky' statment and say 'mentally healthy' is a good thing.... I just can't vote that way on this one. Really, I pick the entertaining posts every time!!! You are a great writer...you have a great talent and great stories to tell! Keep telling them with all your energy and emotion.

Thanks for the entertainment.

[Liz in Maryland]

Just imagine yourself back in Texas and let it go. Sometimes leaving real life for fantasy, even for a bit, makes real life seem that much more intense.

You are right though, the mental stability version ain't quite as funny.

[Kismet]

I'd do anything for Logan, including painting my toenails red :)

~K!

[Phil]

Is my pleasure in reading your blog some form of schadenfreude? Hmmm.. Perhaps only if you *dislike* the lack of emotional health.

Re: the "do almost anything for Logan" comment, above -- I have to quote the Chris Rock joke about the woman who purrs, "What you want, Chris baby? I'll do *anything* you tell me to." To which he replied, "Anything? B**** paint my house!"

[Lisa V]

I choose entertaining over mentally healthy any day. For our sake, stay away from meds, therapists and meditation. We love you just the way you are.

[Nic]

Screw 'em. I love reading YOUR blog, not that sanatized crap- keep it up. Thanks for the honesty and the laughter.

[Lisa]

Thank you for saying that, Melissa! I was thinking it as I read a mean comment to your last post, and was hoping you would remind people that no one is holding a gun to their head and forcing them to read this blog, for goodness' sake.

Keep on keeping on, and those of us who are equally f'd up in our own special and unique ways will find solidarity with you and wish you the very very best.

[Maia]

No, can't say I will read it for Logan. Too selfish and admit it freely. I read you because I find you immensely human, honest and damned likeable. Don't change a thing.

[JT]

Rave on, woman! I sometimes get the same thing on my blog; I'll rant for a while on some topic that is definitely not earth-shattering to anyone but me, and some (well-meaning, I'm sure) person will tell me exactly how I should run my life, or, even better, how I should have done something differently.

I am pretty sure I read or heard a comedian or something somewhere that said that women want validation, and men want answers. So a guy's way of listening to their woman bitch about something is to try to fix it, or tell them what they did wrong. A woman's way of listening is to support and, sometimes, top it with another story.

Okay, I don't know how that helps. But I'm a girl, not a guy. Anyway, you just keep on doing your thing here. We're all happy with the way you're doing it.

[lawbrat]

I am amazed at the things people will send to someone in email. OMG! I find this site real, entertaining, interesting, and dont forget the 1st reason others can not read if they dont like: Its your site.
When I read here, it reminds me that we're all human, and other people have similar struggles. Were not all perfect wives, mothers, sisters, daughter in laws, pre school friends.

Thanks for keeping it real.

[Mir]

Hmmmm. No, I don't think I can.

Now, if you were going to swap me closing out your site for the chance to DO Logan, I'd have to think about that. For a long time.

But that's not what you said, so, sorry.

[efg]

I secretly think everyone who comments just wants a little piece of hot Suburban Bliss action. Look at meee! I "contributed"! I'm on a blog!

While you're forced to put up with it, these comments say way more about the commenter (?) than you.

[sjh6]

What does that say about you, efg?

[Stacy]

Mental stability is SO overrated. That's why I went off my meds!

Love your blog. Keep up the good work.

[Angela]

I don't want to turn you off. This is your blog, and you can write about whatever you want, for as long as you want. If you decide that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches bug you, and you need to write about them for 5 entries in a row, go for it. This is your place to vent, and I want to thank you for letting me in on it. Keep up the great work.

[carol]

I'm with Angela...this is your space. Your writing is real and entertaining. I would not change a thing.

[kristine]

Oh damn it! i got the wrong computer screen, my X is in the right hand corner, not the left!!

I KNEW I spent too much on this thing!

:)

[Pam]

I guess I am happy I don't get a butt load of comments on my blog. I couldn't put up with that shit. If I wanted to be lectured by a busy body, i'd call my mom! Or Logan's mom!

[kate]

OK, here is my professional opinion.

I hate to disappoint you, because claiming instability is rather fun, but *you* are the mentally healthy one here. :-) Writing about your stresses, venting, expressing yourself, not denying the day-to-day shit of being alive.

Who is not mentally healthy? People who obsessively read the ravings of a stranger and then proceed to invalidate, berate, or belittle that stanger. Fine, disagree but please don't proceed to think "you know better" and spout off on how the stranger's view/feeling/method is "wrong". I agree with efg--it amazes me what people will deign to put in email. To someone they don't know.

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Especially when no one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to a) read the blog or b) write a response.

There's the mentally healthy psychologist's rant for you! :-)

[alice]

THAT'S what I'm saying. Jesus, the people with the advice and the stop-complaining and the it-could-be-worse. OF COURSE it could, but then what in hell would we write about and who would we entertain?

[Kat]

Yeah, ditto what Kate said. If you got over things that quickly and just said The End after all those traumas I'd call YOU the Robot. You're a role model: you take the crap that some people can't get through and make it funny! That's a gift.

[carson]

On the spectrum of mental wellness we could all be a little better off than we are right now... isn't that kind of the point... to move forward and to keep getting better.. and each of us in our own way. It just so happens that your way is funny and frank and public and if readers don't like it they should just stop reading and especially stop writing daft, patronizing comments... and they should certainly not insult your toes.
Anyway, exactly how weird and bored do you have to be to publicly insult someone's toes?

[Wash Lady]

Hmm, I *love* coming here so that I know I'm not the only one dealing with an f'd up life that I sometimes can't control and trying to laugh about it to keep from sobbing.
Keep it real dahling....keep it real.

[Lil' Sis]

"We'll do it for Logan, man! We'll do it for LOGAN!"

Stay gold, Melissa.

miao.