Blobbers.

There are a few things currently eating at my stomach lining.

Jenn of Mommy Needs Coffee sent me a note saying she was hosting a seminar at Blogher and would I go? My first thought was, dear God, No! I can't go. I just went to Texas for a long getaway and used up most of Logan's frequent flyer miles and now I'm going to use up the rest of them for another getaway?

But then I asked Mrs Kennedy (yes, I know she has a first name but I will always call her Mrs Kennedy) and Alice if they would go and they were all for it! And they want to share a hotel room and Alice promised she wouldn't be naked around me.

Although, God think of the content.

So I did the research on all the things I need if I'm to go, and it's really not that much money. My flight would be just $100 (Logan would need to gift me his frequent flyer miles), the hotel would be hardly any money and the conference is $100 but enh. If I eat beer and peanuts (as Mrs Kennedy suggested) for the 2 days and 2 nights I'm there, it's actually a very affordable, fiscally responsible, frivilous trip.

Logan said, "You have to go! I want you to go. Put some crap up on Ebay and that will take a bite out of the cost. I really think you should go." So that night while emailing with Alice and Mrs Kennedy over a few before bed drinks and I thought, "YES! I'm doing it!!!!!!! WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!"

Then in the morning I thought, who the hell do I think I am? I'm not financially stable enough to be able to take weekend trips across the country to meet the people I wish lived around the block. I also berated myself for saving all that money to buy a fancy camera just for me. I berated myself for our difficulty to live within our means.

Also I realized Heather would be there and while I love her, she's very tall and when I am around tall people I feel extremely portly. In fact if I do end up at Blogher at the end of July I'll write "The Portly Blogger" on my name tag, just so everyone knows.

So then I said, No! No way. I can't do it. I'm not doing it.

But when I told Alice and Mrs. Kennedy, they said, No, you have to go. You're going.

I sometimes think Bloggers take themselves awfully seriously. We like to talk about it a lot and I really feel like the word 'Blog' doesn't come out of my mouth without a whole lot of heartburn following behind. Although, someone in my family calls them Blobs. Which works surprisingly well.

However, there are some times I find it worthwhile to discuss the Blobs. When my inlaws went up in arms and Logan was extremely angry with me in April because a reporter wrote that my in laws don't speak to me anymore, I emailed a group of my favorite Blobbers to vent and ask if anyone had ever gotten divorced because of their blob.

One of those women called me (yes, I used the phone!) and we talked about our similar struggles with the blobs and our spouse's boundaries and the friction it causes sometimes. And it helped a lot.

Perhaps I'm trying to put an intellectual spin on the Blobher conference so I can feel better about flying across the country to meet some remarkable people I've come to love in an internet way and also drink my face off.

I told Alice and Mrs Kennedy and Jenn to give me until Wednesday to decide.

And I know this is why I can't save money and why we are always barely treading water financially, but i don't see how I can not go. Hearing about it and not being there will hurt my Blobber soul.

No, I'm not selling the God Damn Camera on Ebay, so don't even.

Comments

[MelissaC]

But, but...aren't there other cool things you can sell on ebay right now? Any leftovers from the yard sale? Because I would go shopping, oh yes I would.

[Becky]

You know we'd support your Ebay efforts. Put those lice combs up for auction! Do it for your readers and fellow blobbers!

[christy]

You so should go. It will be really fun and good for you. And good for you = good for blog which = fabulous wealth and prosperity for you and yours! It's all coming together.

Would it help if we bought more t-shirts? y

[Toni]

~Squeal~

Oh my gosh. If you go, I'll totally be in blog nirvana. Put yo' swag up on ebay. Pronto!

[Greg]

Jealous.

I'm thinking of getting a sex change.

[Bettsi]

Yes, you can be frivolous. Yes, you are allowed to go and have fun. What I know is this: the money will be spent one way or another. Why not spend it on something that will enrich your life? Go. Have fun.

[Lala]

Go!Go! Go! GO fer crying out loud, do you have any idea how many of us are in blog envy right now!!!!!

[arc]

just a lurker here to put my vote in ---- GO! life is too short and you absolutely deserve it.

[arc]

just a lurker here to put my vote in ---- GO! life is too short and you absolutely deserve it.

[halloweenlover]

Just think of it in this way: you are being a good influence for the kids. Showing that you have hobbies and interests and dreams and loves and you set aside the time, energy and money to keep those alive. It is an excellent example to set for your munchkins. Totally worth the money.

You. Have. To. Go.

[ms]

You have to go. You must. The internet won't take "no" for an answer.

It's part of your professional development, there will be networking opportunities, and you will be with others of your ilk. In the scheme of things, it's not an exorbitant amount of money, and you will get a lot out of it (both fun and serious).

[Michelle]

Go, you'll enjoy it so much... it'll be good for you! Think of other ways you can save in this month's and next month's budget to lessen the trip's impact to your financial condition. And I like the idea of ebay to make some money.

[Joan]

I just met one of my blogger friends via phone. It was awesome. We will meet in December, and. I. cannot. wait!

So do it I say!!

[Amanda]

You BETTER go, woman. Because I'm going and I'll definitely need someone to stalk besides Heather.

(And I'm local, so if you're serious about saving money and you're not too worried about the stalking, then I'm happy to cook you and your gal pals a meal. I'd be honored.)

[Lisa]

you only live once - and a couple hundred bucks right now won't break the bank, will it? consider the money some people spend on therapy! this is your therapy. you will go, see some friends, get the support you need and come home a much better wife and mother. go west!

[Lisa]

you only live once - and a couple hundred bucks right now won't break the bank, will it? consider the money some people spend on therapy! this is your therapy. you will go, see some friends, get the support you need and come home a much better wife and mother. go west!

[CursingMama]

You have until the end of July to come up with the cash - you can totally do that, even if you have to sell the children. You should go!

[kristine]

Just go. And wear that kick ass T-shirt you made for your in-laws.

Have fun. breath. take pictures. have a drink with Heather and when she's 2 sheets into the wind go short sheet her bed!!

seriously...go and have fun. You'll only regret it if you don't go.

[squara]

are you planning on taking that money with you when you die??
god i hope not.
go to the damn conference. it's the EXPERIENCES of your life, not the BANK BALANCES that count.
GO!

[Wayne]

Go already. Logan can cut back on his hair-related expenses for a month or so, yeah?

[coolbeans]

You know, some people spend that much money on Playstations. Some people spend that much money on fishing trips. Some spend it collecting figurines or baseball cards.

It's okay to have hobbies and to spend a little money on them. In fact, it's healthy.

Go have fun. And take lots of pictures. (Think of all the fun we'll have making up captions!)

[nicole]

ok, you don't know me AT ALL, but i want to go to the conference too and i live right by it.
a generous offer: you can stay on the blow-up mattress on my living room floor and i'll make lunches.

[Heatheranne]

That is so cool! You should totally go. I would in a heartbeat.

[Lisa V]

You know I have kicked around going because I wanted to be a voyuer and see everyone in person, while quietly sipping a gin and tonic in the corner and muttering to myself.

You have far greater aspirations and reasons for being there. You should seriously go.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

If you're going and its in Texas, I'm going.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

shit i cant read. not in texas. NOTHING IS IN TEXAS. i saw texas and got excited and saw "suburbanbliss" and "finslippy" and now i want to cry.

[wdc]

YOU HAVE TO GO! It will be worth it. Get that stuff up on ebay so we can start shopping.

[Stacy]

EVERYBODY GO BUY ANOTHER T-SHIRT!!!!! You'd only have to sell, what, 300 or so to pay for the trip? No problem...

[Psycho Kitty]

You need to go. Really.
Not like I'm an expert on what you need, but like that's ever stopped me.

[Beerzie]

Oh for shit's sake. Go. I'll chip in two bux if you put up a PayPal thingy.

[not alice]

Lord, woman, it's not like you're buying yourself a mink coat. Would you just go, already?

[Flippy]

You must go. I wanted to go, but I can't get away, probably. Go and then visit San Francisco and tell it how much I miss it.

Why no naked Alice? Uh, not that I'm gay or anything. Oh wait, I am.

Do you have a Paypal account?

[Julia]

Go. Enjoy yourself. Talk about how much you wish I was there and how it just isn't the same without me and my absence creates a palpable void and... I'll just send you some notes to work from, ok?

PS Put up a paypal link.
PPS Come on... just for a minute.

[alice]

Flippy: Our Melissa fears that she will be consumed by simultaneous desire for and envy of my naked form. Thus, I am to remain clothed. Even when showering. Because apparently we have to shower together. It was her idea!

[Mrs. Kennedy]

Bring a big bunch of those t-shirts and sell them at the conference, I bet every woman with a child at home will want one. What a good idea! You're welcome. You owe me a beer.

[life on my terms]

God I am such a blogger novice -- i have so much to learn....

[styro]

Put up a paypal link and ask us suckers to sponsor you. We're drunk, we're crazy, we'd probably send you ten bucks. DO IT NOW. I DEMAND IT.

[Lauren]

Please go. You have to go. I want to meet the Momtini maker and compare our ginormous front teeth. I quite frankly believe mine exceed yours in both size and deadliness, but must see you in person to confirm.

[leslie]

SELL THE BIKE!
In fact...sell all the toys and let them play with the boxes. It's much more fun for them anyways and you'll get to go on your trip and eat lobster tail instead of peanuts!

[nicole]

also, if you're willing to live blog about it, they will waive the registration fee.

[Lulu]

You MUST go. I offer myself for tours, meals, etc. Really. GO.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

i love the cock

[Sarcastic Journalist]

also, im a nut sniffer

[Sarcastic Journalist]

even though it is true and i "love the cock," my husband paid you a visit. and used my screenname.

[Lin]

Listen kid...you will only be at this point in your life once. That's why it should be obvious that you have to go. Have fun! Bon Voyage!

[Flippy]

" Because apparently we have to shower together. It was her idea!" - alice

Awesome. Melissa, put those new extra megapixels to good use. Your lesbian audience (and probably Sarcastic Journalist's husband) is depending on you.

[Lassa]

Oh I hope you go! Because I just registered last week. And that would mean that I could meet you. I love your blog!

[MollieBee]

I had a feeling she was a nut sniffer. Thanks for confirming, Mr. SJ.

[Lin]

I think this is the best suggestion yet... "Go already. Logan can cut back on his hair-related expenses for a month or so, yeah?"

[clickmom]

Y'know, the reality is that this is just like COLLEGE, you make a little investment now, drink lots and lots of whatever, and when you get out- you have the ability to make so much more money. Yeah, investment, that's what this is, it is educational!

Just go, we need you to go, us novices depend on the pros like you.

[alice]

Oh, dear--SJ loves the cock. No shower time for her!

[ann]

seriously, put up one of those "donate" things via paypal .... i'd feel better about sending you $10 that way than the $1.00 profit (if that) you probably made on the big momtini coffee mug i bought. okay, i just wrote "donte" because i've been a little overserved on red wine tonight.

[Molly]

If any blogger (blobber?) I know should go, it should be you! Definitely put up a PayPal link! And go enjoy! I would if I could!

[jenB]

if i am ok with the naked and would go either way on the cock, may i come? :-)

[Nicole]

Put up a paypal donate button!

[MainlineMom]

I wish I could go. But being the fiscally responsible person I am, if I was you and barely treading water there's no way I'd go. Take someone up on the local hospitality.

[Susie]

Damn it! Makes you wish that you put Max on eBay instead of just leaving him at Wal-Mart. GO already.

[SAJ]

I hope by being commenter #57 my comment sort of goes unnoticed. But could you ask Mommy Need's Coffee why she won't pay me for the illustration I did for her? She hasn't responded to my emails and I'm wondering if maybe she just doesn't like it? I'm mostly just curious. It's not a ton of money worth fighting for. But if you get her to pay me you could take a finder's fee off the top to support your peanuts and beer fund. In fact I'd donate the whole amount! If this is really tacky to be asking this here in this public place can you delete this comment?

[Ginny]

Paypal link, definitely. Post pictures of your supporters on Flickr and write great captions like, "I hope Melissa is having a fucking great time at Blogher." And then we could get all offended and send you nasty email demanding that you remove the photos and it would be so much fun! Please?

[maia]

GO!

[Mrs. Kennedy]

Whoa -- Secret Agent Josephine! Scandalous!

[Sam]

I'm just going to echo the 60 comments ahead of mine & beg you to go and then come home and tell us all about it!

[mamaloo]

skipping comments to say you most muthaf'ingly should go, all constraints be damned. GO.

[Strizzinator]

No one else I know blobs. And whenever I mention it to them or say the word BLOG I feel like the biggest dork on the face of the earth!

[Elisa Camahort]

My God woman, if this many people care about you going, you really ought to go.

And Greg, no need to be jealous, men are welcome.

And yes, we might still need a few more live blogger volunteers. Email our Bloghership coordinator to find out:
mir at flinknet dot com

But one little thing: I think it's Jenny from threekidcircus, not je from mommyneeds coffee who's co-leading the mommybloggin session with Meghan T.

Here's the agenda:
http://workerbees.typepad.com/miragendav1.html

See you there...obviously. Sheesh.

[jenB]

i though Elisa was going to tell Greg that he WAS a woman. i am disappointed. but Greg, you will be close by. go and check out the hot blogging dames.

[Stacey]

O.M.G! I live so close to the BlogHer Con! I want to go so bad now and I can't because I'll be on vacation (with my extended family, so it doesn't really count). You simply must go and take many pics of you and Heather at the post-conference cocktail party. My cheeks hurt just thinking of how much fun that'll be for you. SO JEALOUS. GO!

[trine]

you should so go, i really wish i could afford the flights (from the UK? no i don't think so...)
btw -
it's my anniversary today, one year of blogging. wow.

[Sugarmags]

Ebay. Paypal. Anything. Just GO! And then write about it for those of us who only dream of going.

Fun.Fun.Fun. I'll donate, or go shopping.

[Elisa Camahort]

My completely bad...it's true Jenn from MommyNeedsCoffee is not leading the Mommyblogging session, but IS rather leading a session on how to go from kick-ass blogger to published author.

I think I need some coffee!

[Megan]

Go. You can always earn more money. Really, you can.

There's someone in my family who thinks I'm "blobbing" too! :)

[Torrie]

Go. And bring some bosygaurds with you. You are going to be mobbed.

[Torrie]

Bosygaurds OR BODYGUARDS.

Whatever.

[Lil' Sis]

I placed my t-shirt order. That should put you in the clear for expenses, right?

veryone above is correct. Especially the ball-sniffer.

Do it for me. My band was supposed to do a 3-week tour this fall, but I can't go for that long without losing my job. Your kids can't fire you. I can help with the sitting, and maybe the inlaws would like some time with the kids (Everyone but Lis & Logan-yes I know, but they love the kids and are very good with them). To save money, eat Taco Bell while you're there. Drink less-than-premium. Do some live blogging- I know everyone wants to read your drunken ramblings. And post a paypal link- I will give.
Dumbass. Go.

-Miao.

[coolbeans]

I think BOSSYGUARDS would be a great idea. A tight circle of people around you telling people to "CLEAR THE WAY. CLEAR THE WAY NOW." and "NO PICTURES!" And you could wear really big, dark glasses and a scarf on your head and walk very fast and feel super duper important.

I wonder how much bossyguard services cost.

[southernfriedgirl]

You must go. Money can be made later

[onbeelay]

GOooooooooo . I'll buy you a bottle of your favorite preminum alcoholoic beverage (from the Costco down the street! what am I made of money?) that should save you at least 1 night of drinking. :)

[Marcia]

Go!

[elizabeth]

I really respect your desire to be fiscally responsible, but 97 commenters telling you to go can't be wrong. Put up a donation link & you'll be surprised how quickly $5 & $10 add up. Or a ebay auction or something. Sheeze people are literally trying to throw money at you. If you don't put up a link and you do come, you know that you're going to have people shoving money down your shirt the whole time. Or has that been your plan all along? You are an evil genius.

I live in SF (about an hour away) and you're welcome to my futon but I think that your roomies will be worth the hotel bill. Actually I'm jealouse. maybe I need to get hotel for the night?

seriously. come. bring me a retro pistons ringer t & I'll pay ya a finders fee AND buy you a martini. :)

-a dearborn expat

[DM]

If you do not go, I will cry. Yes. Cry! And it will be horrible and you will hear my tears from wherever it is that blogher is taking place (I just know it's not in Minnesota).

Since I've been blogging, I took a trip to Portugal and to Tomah, WI to meet fellow bloggers and it was the best thing ever. You have to do it!

I've been clicking on your google ads whenever I come here. I would donate at least a dollar to PayPal. I can afford that. And ebay is a great idea. I hope you decide to go. I think you'd enjoy it.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

Alice, yes I love the cock but I love Alice and Melissa as well.

I want to come and I want to be included in the shower. I will take pictures, sell them on EBAY and we will all profit.

Think about it.

[Jack's Raging Mommy]

Were I going to be attending BlogHer, I would totally beg you to go, if for nothing else than my own selfish desire to meet you and possibly have the opportunity to sit and chat.
Since I am not, I will eschew my selfishness and reccommend/plead with you to do what you feel will be best for you and that you can handle.
Either way, I know you will find a funny way to tell us about it, which at the end of the day is why we read you.
Have fun,
Maleah

[Flippy]

Look, Melissa, if you don't put up the Paypal link soon, I'm going to be spending that money that's burning a hole in my Paypal pocket. The last things I bought with Paypal money were Popnots and various flavors of rock candy. Really, you'd be doing my thighs a favor. Although, you know, I kinda expect the shower pictures in exchange (clothed is fine, I'm not a pervert, man) - does the blessed arrival have a tripod?

[frozenmojo]

clearly, if you don't go, there will be hell to pay. :-)

[jenB]

p.s. i love your sister. may i borrow her? i don't have one.

[Miss D]

You should really go, DO IT DO IT DO IT.

[Lisa Stone]

Ken says you're in - and now that he's improved our donation button, how can I doubt him?

Here's hoping I get to down a momtini w/ya'll.