Conversely.

I like to imagine this is what Logan's morning looked like at the hotel spa.

Conversely, my morning involved picking up a dead, rotting bird with a shovel off our lawn. I even did it with a pint sized audience and a chorus of squeals. A friend of mine used to channel someone called 'Opera Girl' with high quality soprano squeals anytime she saw a spider. This morning I played opera girl as I ran across the yard with a decomposing bird on the end of my shovel.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

(this is not my bird. my bird had actual flesh showing and it was totally repulsive. you're welcome for not sharing it.)

Comments

[Sarcastic Journalist]

Save it for logan. Perhaps on his pillow so he can enjoy the fun that is the dead bird as well. It sounds like time for a drink.

[Barefootgoddess]

Damn, must be something in the air. I had to remove a dead bird from the lawn this morning too. Only mine looked like it had been eaten by something, then regergitated for my viewing pleasure.

[trine]

how come *they* always go away to nice hotels and *we* always stay behind and shovel up dead birds...

the universe has gone out of sync somewhere, I just know it...

[Nancy]

Oh the contrast, luxury spa treatment/dead bird shoveling, it's just not fair! BTW, the bird wasn't a crow or blue jay was it? West Nile Virus: To report the location of dead or dying crows or blue jays,
call Oakland County Health Division at (877) 377-3641.

[MelissaS]

Not a blue jay or a black crow. I should have lied though so they'd come out and pick it up.

I was planning on leaving it until Mr Fancypants arrived but overnight it began rotting and was just too gross for the kids to see everyday.

[Torrie]

I woke up at 4 this morning with MAJOR stomache problems. My husband mumbled "what's wrong" and I said "I think I have food poisining again". When I came back from the bathroom 30 minutes later he was sound asleep. Do you think I would have been able to sleep if the love of my life was sick? No.
I hate men's ability to sleep through anything.
Bastards.

[Em]

One time my friends dog got violently ill on their bed in the middle of the night. All her husband could think to yell was "EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!" - that kind of reminded me of your "AHHH!"

[Rachel]

I've had the same kind of day, but mine included a one-year old who wouldn't nap (climbing out of the crib), having to steam-clean my carpet because a relative's child peed on the rug and didn't tell anyone (so it took a day for me to figure out why my house smelled like cat pee even though I have no cats) and a 6-year-old who wouldn't stop the questions/comments (why are raspberries made of little balls, I'm thinking of this car I'm going to make that has . . ., etc). My husband came home early from work because he was leaving for an overnight business trip. He stayed home for 20 minutes! Kept saying that he was sorry that he had to leave and he wished he could do something since I had such a bad day. All the while I'm thinking: take this screaming, tired child off my lap for 20 minutes and let me sit to drink the cup of coffee that I poured at 8:30 this morning and never got to drink!!! Men are so dense and unconsiderate sometimes.

[Rachel]

inconsiderate would be the correct word. . .

[cursingmama]

Wow - I wouldn't have moved the bird, I would've been really brave and made my kid put a bucket over it. If I HAD to move it - I'd be on the phone with the old man the whole time telling him just exactly what I was doing and just exactly how he was going to make up for it.
You are much braver than I, only yelling AHHHHHH!

[laura]

I'm giggling at the thought of Logan lying helplessly on a table while a scary person applies electrodes to his head. He is a robot, isn't he?

[Domestic Princess]

I think it's a bird plague! I just had to discover one out here in Howell. It was headless! Luckily I have an 11 year old boy to remove it for me! Max will be your "dead thing mover, bug killer, icky stuff cleaner" someday!

[Romani Heart]

Ewwww dead critters. I had to remove a young possum from our dog pen recently. It didn't have any visible injuries, I figure when my 80 pound part wolf - part newfoundland came bounding out of his dog house, the possum must have had a heart attack. The poor dog was depressed for days.

[Kim]

Ick. That's the kind of thing I reserve for Husband Dear, if I can. SO far, he has come in handy for shoveling a dead possum in the front yard and a dead ground hog in the dog's lair. Bleck!

[clickmom]

When I was hooking up some worms for my son and nephew to go fishing with their fathers stood in the background and made "ewwww" faces.

Scream or no scream women are so tougher than men.

[jenB]

the last time i found a dead bird in my our yard, i called my mom. neither mark or i would touch it. yes, we are 35 and i called my mom.

[MelissaS]

I'm not at all above calling my mommy, but the last time I had to call because Logan was out of town and the hot water heater pilot light went out....she burned her eyebrows right off her face. I don't think she wants the dead bird calls anymore.

[jenB]

ohmygod, i remember that tale of woe. your poor mom. yet so so funny.

[DM]

We are on the 26th floor and will get 3 or 4 of these gigantic spiders on our windows, the 3rd floor laundry room is covered in webs during the summer and it is horrifying, the cause of many a nightmare.

My male roommate decided that he was going to "be the man" of the apartment and get rid of these spiders on our windows. He grabbed a can of bug spray and headed, quite like John Wayne, towards the window. He opened the window and aimed the can.

Just then, the wind picked up and the spider, on the end of the web, swung into our window, coming a mere inch from his face. Oh, the screaming! We've all pretty much decided to leave the spiders alone.

I pity you for the dead bird and give you a supportive "Eww."

[Lil' Sis]

PLEASE WITH THE SPIDERS! So there. I was there for a week. god help me.
Along with the spiders, I found a robin's egg that was about to hatch but fell from the nest. Baby birds are kind of creepy, but dead baby birds still half in the shell & crawling with ants are both creepy and sad.

And at the cottage, the lake is full of weeds except for one little public beach. The other night, I was swimming there (with "Mr. Lee") and accidentally went into the weedy area without noticing. That is, until I put my foot down. I don't scream in the style of opera. Somehow, what decided to come out of my mouth was "Funky Jesus! FUNKY JESUS!!!"
There's something wrong with me. Or else something very very right.

-miao.