Art As Time Killer.

Today I took the kids to Detroit to check out the DIA.

We had planned on going yesterday but at 10:45 am, while I was in the shower (shut up, I was awake until 3 am!), Maxwell had a massive missing dad fit. Which, hey! Great news. You think daddy's been gone a lot this week with all the photo shoots [orgies with hot models]? Guess what!? Daddy is going on a big bike ride this weekend and then he'll be home for 20 minutes before flying off to California for a week.

Tip: This isn't what you want to say to a child who's really missing his father.

So instead of the museum yesterday I drove the kids out to the lake where Logan and a crew of many people were shooting photos. Apparently Logan sent away all the slutty models because I was coming...or else maybe my fancy new "Man Saving Lingerie" is working!

Frankly I'm not big on anything which involves "Man Saving" because I'm not big on "Man Saving"...I prefer my man to either be here or not.

But that's beside the point. Today we went to the DIA and looked at art. While browsing the Rivera Murals, a (very handsome) photographer approached us about taking some pictures for an article someone at the Free Press is working on.

I think he said the story spin was: "White people are afraid of Detroit, so what the hell are you doing here?"

I immediately smirked because remember when I drove to Detroit and said all of this? If the reporter calls to talk about my feelings about visiting Detroit, I'm sending her the link.

When he finished taking pictures he asked me if I was involved with art for work or if I was a teacher because I'd had so much to tell Madison about the pictures. Which I took as a compliment. Also, while Logan's gone for the next week....I'll take it as flirting because we all know what happens when I miss Logan for too long. I hope he has some "wife saving fancy underpants" in his collection.

I told the photographer that no, I don't teach or work in the art field. I told him that it's summer and in the summer I spend most of the day attempting not to eat my children. I can't eat them in public and I also can't eat them if I'm busy talking. So, we talked a lot about the murals.

He looked at me with sleepy bedroom eyes and said, "You can talk to me about modern industry and Diego Rivera all night long......."

No, he didn't.....but while Logan's gone I'll pretend he did.

Comments

[Eulallia]

Wow, that huge bike ride then CA for a week? When IS your husband ever home?

[Theresa]

So, will you be taking the kids to visit the water tower at Eastern while Logan is gone?

[Flippy]

In the longest time, the only person besides my partner that I've thought was really hot was Angelina Jolie. I'm going to get her by luring her in with this model/lingerie and then keep her by wearing the lingerie. http://www2.victoriassecret.com/images/prodlgvw/V243563.jpg

[Crouching Hamster]

Actually, that's quite nice. Flattering for almost anyone. (I haven't had kids.)

But wouldn't you rather see Angelina in the lingerie?

[Mrs. Kennedy]

Victoria's Secret looks nice but is not so hot on the quality, in my experience. Also, I read "taking your children to visit the water tower" and made the jump to that tower at the U of Texas, where that man shot all those people? And I thought, Oh, better not let Melissa get up on any towers.

[Flippy]

Angelina may wear whatever she likes when she's over...even if it's faded jeans and a t-shirt. Actually, that's preferable. I'm swoony, not slutty.

[melissaS]

EMU has a very phallic water tower. If we went to the UofT water tower, I would just keep talking about the history and art of the tower....and then I wouldn't be able to aim.

[Michele]

Your blog is educational as well as entertaining! I did not know Diego Rivera painted any murals in Detroit. In fact, if that had come up as a T/F question (Diego Rivera painted murals in Detroit. T/F), I would think Diego Rivera? Check. Murals? Check. Detroit? NO. and answered False. Thanks to you, I am now prepared should that question ever come up. Rock on.

[Ninotchka]

I love Rivera's work. We have a great children's book on Diego and another on Frida that my children enjoy immensely. And unlike the other art books in this house, they can show them to their young impressionable friends without scaring them the hell away. LOL

[clickmom]

Diego's great, you're great. The day sounds ideal. Wish someone would flirt with me. Jealous.

Hope you'll be posting a link to the article, couldn't have happened to a nicer mom.

[BabelBabe]

Were you planning on ketchup or mustard with said children? I can never decide...which is a good thing for my kids...

A little flirting is good for the soul. Hang in there. As far as I am concerned, you're a freaking saint. I'd have imploded by now.

[jenB]

i believe dipped in chocolate is the preferred method of preparation.

and angelina jolie looks like she is strung out on heroin to me. i like the model on the website though. and i agree that vic's secret is for shit, certainly not for any sex swing or trapeze work.

so i hear.

[jenB]

i recall flippy mentioning the man saving lingerie in the last post, but where did that originate?

so, if mark cuts himself i should tie some panties around the wound to stop the bleeding? i am so confused.

[Texas T-bone]

I forgot what I was going to say because nearly all the comments mentioned lingerie. So, why does lingerie have to be quality? If it looks good, it'll end up on the floor in a hurry anyway, right?

I'm so hot I can lure my wife to bed with my manjamas comprising a 13-year-old T-shirt and plaid boxers.

[ada]

Mr. Pants:

"wife saving underwear" - NOT to be worn while jogging.

[ada]

lingere, smingere - a good pat of butter does it everytime.

[ada]

butter: also NOT to be worn while jogging

I'm having waaaaaay too much fun here

[maia]

Heh. Thinking deep down HE WAS flirting with you. How could he not? :) (You being so fab and no doubt sending off your 'my husband is never home dammit' musk.) Really. That Logan better have some pretty awesome moves lined up for you...

[jenB]

pondering the butter. and that scene from last tango in paris. eee.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

My FIL does those bike rides, too. I'm like why go do that when you can sit inside and drink?

I'm not one to bring to art museums. I'm like "Ugggg...where's the snack bar."

Also, I think when we lived in Durham, we were the only white people who weren't scared to go into town. Now I'm surrounded by The Whities and sometimes it freaks me out.

[Phil]

The nice thing about an MS-ride: no jogger's trots.

Then again, there's that post-ride numbness in the privates that can make a man semi-useless to his mate.

Anyway -- you've got the photographer dude.

[Flippy]

Okay, I admit it, I got tired of seeing "21" as the number of comments. So sue me.

[Paige]

Dang I really hear you on missing your husband lately...mine's military and boy do I know the feeling.

Five days out on a helicopter and I don't even get to know where you're going? -Awesome.

:(

[JWil]

Just saw the photo of you and the kids at the DIA in the Sunday paper. You're getting more press than Karl Rove.

That'll teach Logan to leave you and the kids for the weekend. He should just be glad they snapped the photo of you at the DIA and not some other Detroit hotspot.

[Helen]

Why don't you simply go with him?

[MelissaS]

Uhm because we have kids? And uhm...it's' his work?