Heavenly Playgroup.

Logan and I did go to dinner on Tuesday night. We ended up driving all the way to Clarkston, which is 30 miles away. We love the Clarkston Union (we do not love their lack of a website) and decided that driving 30 miles for dinner wasn't a bad idea since we'd be alone, in a car talking.

Back in the days before children when we'd wake up at 10am on a Saturday, have sex, go back to sleep until 3pm and then kill time until our evening plans started, we drove up to the Union a lot. Back then we had something we don't have now. Tons of time!

I would have pictures, because of course we took some but I am currently unable to locate the cord for my camera.

We had a wonderful time and I enjoyed staring at my handsome husband all while counting all my "glorious blessings". And then wee giggling gnomes came flying out my ass and I counted those blessings too.

I love my playgroup. Have I mentioned how they are collectively saving my ass this summer?

A few weeks ago Chrissy read on this website that I was going to drown my children in their wading pool and even though she was getting ready to leave town for nearly 2 weeks, she called and said, "Get over here right now."

And I did and our children played for several hours and I asked if I could just live there for the rest of the summer.

Yesterday we met for playgroup at Stephanie's house. Stephanie is the kind woman who allows me to do dirty things to her furniture and she never judges me. She's added a chaise to her living room since the last time I fondled her belongings, so I had some alone time with it yesterday.

There were 11 children at this playgroup. Eleven.

Somehow during the playgroup we decided we should do something every Wednesday evening, starting tonight. But Logan was working late (hot model orgy), again. So they all came over to my stupid house. I love them.

We talked a lot, often all at once just like the children. We played a game and we chatted in depth about my issues with hugging. People seem to be incredibly intrigued with the 'why' of my hollow and pathetic hugs. So we hugged, I even have pictures, but again the stupid cord.

At 1 o'clock in the morning Logan ran out and got us food from the coney in town. How could you not want to jump into this man's delicate underwear? He brought back greasy food and we all put it directly on our asses because you know that's where it went, why bother digesting it? But it really tasted good and also, I don't even have a hangover this morning.

However, I am incredibly tired. The night ended at 3 o'clock in the f-ing morning. What the fuckity fuck? I've spent all morning thinking about Leslie (who has an 8 week old, a 20 month old, a 3 year old and a 3 year old...who are not twins) and Andrea (who has a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 17 month old).

Stephanie and I have the luxury of children who can do some things for themselves. For example, Madison can get a large knife to stab Max in the eye ball with all by herself! (School starts August 29!) I can guiltily take a nap at some point today or lay on the sofa all day getting up only to refill my water bottle. But they're in charge of little people.....I'm so sorry.

They can't even complain to their spouses about how tired they are or else they'll never be able to come over anymore. Their husbands will learn what a really bad influence I am.

Last night we all felt a little open hearted with each other and as Logan went to bed, he stopped in the doorway and said, "I'm really happy you guys know each other."

What he meant to say was, "If my wife hadn't met you all, our children would be dead."

And that is just barely an exaggeration. Barely.

Comments

[Beerzie]

We have entered the stage of our kids' lives where they have sleepovers. A whole night with one less child! These are even better than playgroups.

[Heather]

Glad to hear about your new play group.

Congrats on finding your way to sanity.

[christy]

Ok - you're google ads are killing me:

Your Spirit is Calling
90 minutes to end indecision, indifference, and wasted living.

Also, and I think this one is particularly moving:

A Positive Attitude is Everything.
Become more positive & powerful with this Free new system.

[Mir]

Amen for girlfriends... they're the reason humans hardly ever eat their own young.

[nicole]

other women: saving your ass EVERY TIME.

[margaret]

Dumb peripheral comment...

I have a Canon Rebel too, and my cousin gave me a flash reader so I wouldn't have to download direct from the camera (faster, saves batteris). Until I got it, I didn't realize how useful this was. I can download my pictures from the flash card at work without needing to my camera in!

Hang in there...

[Karen]

I have to hate you just the weensiest bit because my kids don't go back to school until Sept. 8. At least you can say, "School starts NEXT MONTH!"

[amy]

Oh, I am now insanely jealous. Because not only do I have little people (2.5 & 1) to take care of--or murder-- I also do not have such fabulous wonderful girl friends to have playdates with. Sob.

[Monica]

Man, all I've run into are people who look at me strange when I tell them my kid can be a pain in the ass. Hmph. Am jealous of your awesome playgroup.

[Y]

Um, Amy? I'm fabulously wonderful and I only live an hour away, girlfriend.

Stop sobbing and come visit me!

[AmyinMotown]

Help me. Seriously, where did you find these people? Same as Monica, all I find are people who look at me funny when I mention being in sore need of a margarita at the end of a long day and look distinctly alarmed when I sigh about putting her on Ebay. My cool girlfriends are kidless and find me boring. I would love to find some cool moms of babies but God knows where they hang.

[Amy]

I am so glad to hear you had a great evening with hubby and lucky you, some girlfriends to bond with. Also jealous of both. Ever think about turning suburban bliss into the equivalent of the red hat club - instead of being for old women, we can be the margarita mamas - mom's who used to fun and still want to be but with kids.

[jenB]

i thought the delay in a new post was because you shipped off or chained up the kids and were having non-stop anniversary sex. can i pretend that is what you were doing instead of going to a drunken playgroup?

[Flippy]

Hey, slow down there, jenB, that drunken playgroup could've involved lingerie, the marriage-saver.

Eeek, I'm cranky today. I promise to not comment on any more blogs for the next 24 hours.

Glad you had lots of fun, Melissa!

[lindsay]

Union Mac & Cheese.
To die for.

Makes my girlie parts tingle, it's that good.

[AmyinMotown]

Lndsay, I was going to mention that and forgot. I hve only been there once and had the Mac and Cheese and still remember it. So so lovely.Even when its hotter than the surface of the sun like it is now. When did we move to the goddamn tropics?

[tpon]

I almost cry laughing every time you mention the hugging... i too am an awkward hugger.

My in-laws used to think it was them, until they saw a picture of N. and I at our wedding. Awkward hug in formal wear...

[Sarcomical]

okay, girl...i want to see a picture of logan in this delicate underwear you speak of.

[buffi]

That's it. I am so moving to Michigan. Any AF bases nearby? I make a mean Colorado Bulldog, which is healthy (milk is healthy!) AND gives you a good buzz. Would that get me in???

[Kelly M.]

Okay I have to say that I dont have children nor do I ever want them, Im selfish like that, but you are hillarious. I am 27 and I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. He doesnt want children either, infact he cant stand them. I like them, I just dont want to take care of them and not be able to go and do whatever whenever. So he claims we dont have to get married because we arent going to have kids. This angers me. Point being--- reading here makes me laugh and not want kids so thanks!! Sorry for the rambling, its the wine ( and the built up frustrations)

[suburban misfit]

Dammit. Why can't I find women who will stay up with me until 3 AM? Is it me? Am I horrible? Morning people suck.

[Tammy/averagemom]

Sigh. I must move. I must. Will you be creeped out if I move next door?

[Susie]

O my God the last two lines made me spit out my cocktail. Funny! I met ladies like that at Gymboree. When you are in a group of other moms...all you need to do is make a comment about losing your identity or needing a stiff drink and laugh and look furtively around for nods and - if you are lucky - someone else who laughs and maybe says HELL YEAH. Then befriend them. It works! I've had loads of drinks since making friends. We all quit going to Gymboree too and started our own playgroup.

[Jerri Ann]

That's not a playgroup, that's a fucking party...and who ever said you don't throw an awesome party...you might not be a hugger but you can obviously do up the party-thing!

[Theresa]

I want a playgroup like that! Most of the other SAHMs I've met are from another planet and would never admit that they ever find motherhood anything less than completely fulfilling. FREAKS!

[Melting Mama]

Oh man, you make me wanna move out there. Folks don't playgroup at night out here.

[Sarah]

For some reason, you have me thinking that you've been reading a bit of Junie B. lately... Your post sounds like her all grown up!

[Phil]

11-kid playgroup? Find one more and you've got a football game.

Here's to the party people [clink!]

[Jack's Raging Mommy]

How exactly do you find a playgroup that you love? I need this advice. Especially one that drinks, as your's seems to do. (That is so not a bad thing.)

[amy]

Oh, Y, you are such a tease. I can be there tomorrow, at 9.

[Texas T-bone]

Two reasons (probably the only ones) to move to Texas:
• Tons of Mexican food.
• School starts Aug. 8.

That is all.

[BabelBabe]

Good Lord, I am SO there.
Whoever's moving next door, I am moving across the street.

No one ever really mentions the downside of the Internet, that you find all these terrific people who live hundreds of freaking miles away. I may have to go drown *myself* in my wading pool.

[Alana]

Could I get some more information about this Leslie? Like how she has 2 kids who are 3 years old and are not twins? Adoption? Or did she pull a "my sister" and just get pregnant like the day she came back from the hospital with baby #1?

[Melizzard]

Add me to the list of jealous mamas. If I hadn't just bought The Pink Palace I'd be planning on moving in down the street. You have the playgroup we all long for.

[HippieHickChick]

You make me want to be a stay-at-home mom. Oh wait...no I don't. Wait...yes I do. Oh crap - then I couldn't afford beer and without alcohol who can deal with kids? NOT ME. Must work. Must drink. MUST GET A PLAYGROUP!!!

[Torrie]

I'm usually not a big fan of woman, but occasionally they come in handy.

[Beerzie]

Two words: Card Reader.

[bethany]

Can I join your playgroup? Really... they came over right away. Ugh. I need to move.

I need friends. [sob]

[maia]

LOL! Logan is a very intuitive man who understands you.

Good for you for hanging with women who know how to have a good time. My gawd though, they are a strong bunch with such young needy children who no doubt make their presence known too damned early in the morning!~!!