Awkward Hugs™ To Blogher

I spent two days walking around talking to myself about Blogher. Emails were sent back and forth furiously, trying to come up with some way to make this happen. I was open to them mind you because this is a once in a lifetime chance to meet some of my favorite people who, get this, actually exist outside of my computer!

I'd come up with a plan to accept donations in the name of bringing my patented Awkward Hugs™ to Blogher. It's important, I thought, to have awkward hugs at any convention and I am an extremely awkward hugger.

But I needed more than that for donations, since I am hardly a charitable cause. People who scrimp and save $750 (minus a few amazon gift cards! Thank you!) to buy a very pricey camera are not charity worthy really. So I came up with a few incentives, like when you donate to PBS and they send you a Caillou doll to throw darts at for a $200 donation.

Alice offered up nude pictures of Mrs Kennedy for a $50 donation. Mrs Kennedy suggested that for $100 I post pictures of me making out with Dooce. Which I could not agree to simply because I can barely hug people, I'm not making out with someone.

So I went to bed with all these ideas in my head and I laid awake thinking of them for hours and hours.

But in the morning I checked my email and a very kind, very giving woman offered me her miles with American Airlines and guess what? I wet my pants, yelled and screamed and ran around the house and now I am forever in debt to my fairy godmother. Jesus I still can't believe this happened. I still can not believe it.

But I have more thank yous because Flippy is my children's fairy godmother and sent all sorts of fun things to try to keep my children entertained so that I don't kill them. And really, she couldn't have sent this prize packet at a better time since Logan is heading out of town a week from today for eight very long days.

Finally, I have to send Victoria a thank you as well. She sent me a paypal donation which was so kind and generous I feel embarrassed. I'll be sure to send her the pictures of Mrs Kennedy nude just as soon as I'm at Blogher.

Hooray for the Internet. I love you even when you don't give me things but you've no idea how great this is. Thank you thank you thank you.

Comments

[lyn]

I am so pleased you get to go YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAHHHHH!!

[maia]

Yeahooo! All of us readers get to go vicariously through you! So happy for you Melissa :)

[Lily]

Hi Melissa -- I am so happy for you! That just rocks!!! One quick question, though -- is this place not somewhere Southwest flies? Because that is so cheap compared to using miles, which never seem to add up. Just curious. I hope you get to go and have a blast!!! Lily

[melissaS]

I have my ticket with the miles from my fairy godmother.

Southwest was going to cost $435, which is fairly cheap but is also the total I was planning to spend on my entire 2 night stay. I could never come up with $400 plus another $200 for hotel, food and beverages. (Oh and don't forget the $125 I wasted transferring miles into my northwest account from Logan's.)

[Susie]

May I suggest additional savings for your trip? Liquid diet. Bar nuts are usually free, albeit laced with nastiness. Have someone on the other side of the aisle distract your fight attendant and steal those tiny packages for peanuts.

[karyn]

Very happy you get to go. What great fairy godmothers you have!

[jenB]

hey, i didn't know you had a paypal account? how do the rest of us send you beer money? :-)

[Elisa Camahort]

Yay!

Just remember: we're feeding you breakfast, lunch and many tasty hors d'ouvres on the day of the conference, so there's one less day of spending to worry about!

[Flippy]

Hey, how do the rest of us get nude pictures? Mrs. Kennedy, Alice, contact me, I'll send enough cash to get Melissa drunk. ;) I love faux lesbian hijinks.

[Ada]

Jeez!

I can't afford to go eother and I'm desperate too! If any more moola comes your way - send it up to Canada, will you?

[Amanda]

I'm so happy you'll be there. I would promise not to hug you when I track you down, but how much fun would THAT be?!?!

[Renee]

You're so lucky! Take lots and lots of pictures. :)

[Strizzle]

AAW Man I so totally wanted to go! Well I hope you have a blast anyway!

[Angie]

Please take many, many pictures with your new camera and share them with your faithful readers.

[Lil' Sis]

So... are any of your Fairy Godmothers involved with any recording labels? I could really use some backing... my damn tour got cancelled. I would also like to contact any pharmaceutical rep Fairy Godmothers as well, but that's a different story...

God is good! Every motherfuckin' day!

-miao.

[buffi]

You're welcome you're welcome you're welcome! Oh, wait, I didn't give you anything. If I had anything to give, I would tho! I am so happy that you get to go. Tell us all about it. Wish I could go & meet you! I relate to you way more than Dooce!

[Ken]

Actually, Teri, the Fairy Godmother WAS, a few years ago, involved with some recording labels. She was an entertainment lawyer, before she decided to find a more meaningful existence.

Melissa, so glad you'll be able to go after all. If you find me, you'll be drinking for free too!

[Victoria]

SO glad you and the Rebel are going after all so we can all read about it. Can't wait for the nude pics. ;)

[Phil]

Yay fairy godmother! And a pal of mine, to boot. I'm proud to know both her and the Real Kato.

[Liz]

Silent, but loyal reader - - this made me so happy. Simple, possibly trite, but I just love it when people are so frickin generous and nice to one another. I am sooo glad you get to go! (:

[HippieHickChich]

Woo Hoo!! Thank goodness for fairy godbloggers!! Have fun and take lotsa pics!

[Nancy]

I'm so happy for you!

[Torrie]

The internet loves you too.

[Meghan]

Ok, I just bought a Momtini shirt, so hopefully that will get a bit of beer money into your pocket.

I am SO looking forward to experiencing all of the fun through you, so have a freakn' blast!

[angela marie]

I'm so glad that you get to go! Have a wonderful time!

[Lassa]

Yeah! I'm so glad you're going... Can't wait for my awkward hug!

[jenB]

how about an awkward butt grab? would you prefer that?

[Nicholas]

Last week I looked into donating you some miles. I assumed that you would want Northwest miles. I hardly ever fly them, but I have around 20,000. Then I saw that it costs real live $$$ to transfer them.

[Paul]

Grace transforms lives.

[Fahrvergnugen]

I'm really happy for you. There's a whole internet full of women who want to party with you. Take lots of photos and bring back plenty of salacious tales. We're counting on you!

[JT]

Hooray! The deserving will prevail! Then we'll get to hear all about it.... right?

I'm one of the many who are very happy for you. Hope you have an excellent time, and it makes eight days alone with bored kids a little easier to survive.

[elizabeth]

woo hoo!

maybe blogher would pay you to have an ackward hugs booth?

[Monica]

Yay! That's great news. Have a great time, remember every detail, and give us the inside scoop!

[Mrs. Kennedy]

God, I love the booth idea. You could be like Lucy Van Pelt.
"Awkward Hugs 5 cents."

[Suburbia]

Congrats. Can't wait to hear about it.

[DM]

Excellent! I'm so happy for you!

Looking forward to the pictures!

[Lisa Stone]

. You're on the BlogHerRoll and in the newsfeeds, Melissa. Cannot wait to meet you.

[Jenny]

Looking forward to meeing you!