"Blogher Hand Job"

Last night Logan finished reading Alice's fabulous take on Blogher and said, "Look, how long are you going to keep this Blogher Hand Job going? Get it over with for fuck's sake."

My husband, with his delicate underwear, has a point. Only I appear to have bit off more than I can chew. Especially when my spouse doesn't appear to understand how much I'm chewing. Tonight, as I boiled pasta for dinner, stuffed envelopes, refereed arguments ('No punching below the belt Max, you cheating bastard!") and tried to come up with something for Flogging Baby....I realized that with a big salary, comes no kids to deal with and yes! I am bitter!

I hope tomorrow is a better day because right now I am feeling as if I have ADD and I am not enjoying that feeling.

More. Soon. I promise.

PS: Are there any devil worshipers who want to babysit Friday at 6:00pm? Because we are in a serious bind and will accept even mass murderers as babysitters for this event. We'll even let you emotionally scar our kids and pay you $50 to do it so long as we get to go out with our friends to see the Tigers. I can't believe we can't find a sitter, this is ludicrous.

Comments

[Stephanie]

I would babysit them but I'm afraid my non-satanic ways would corrupt them. Sorry.

[buffi]

If you want to drive down to Dayton, we'll take 'em. I have a coven meeting that night, but my husband will be home from Mass Murderers Anonymous before I have to leave, so we should have it covered.

[Lisa V]

You know Bert is the world's #1 Tiger fan, and if we could afford it, we would hop on a plane. I would babysit (you do have a gas stove right? Because that's how I get my kid's to sleep). Bert would go to the game with you guys. Be ready for lots of boring stats and history. Actually I would be getting the better deal.

[jenB]

i am going to not only continue the hand job, but fellate BlogHer one more time with my post tonight. tell Logan THAT!

xo

[DLG in Mich]

Sure! Drop them off in Brighton (45 short minutes from Royal Oak). They can play with my 3 and 4-year old boys. :)

[Kismet]

Send em back to VBS.....what? they don't have an evening edition? How was I to know that? ;)

~K!

[Texas Carol]

Take them both back to Walmart. Isn't Max still there from the bicycle incident? and some Walmarts are open 24 hours.

[Becky]

It's a total bummer that you used up all those frequent flyer miles already. You totally could have shipped them out here to Arizona. They would have gone home with a new appreciation for you *and* the fabulous blow up swimming pool.

(On a more serious note, did you try asking the church office where they went to VBS? They sometimes keep babysitter lists.)

[Rebecca]

Sure. I'm only about 20 minutes north of you, (Waterford) just email me if you're still in a bind.

[AmyinMotown]

A short few miles south--and if you need a sitter still, email me (we're going to the game Sunday!)

[Lil' Sis]

If they're ready to go at 5:30 AND I can take the minivan, the offer still stands for them to road-trip out to our show. I promise to keep the band in check, and we'll be playing early enough that we'll be back in the car before they really need to sleep. And it's not even at a bar! Bonus after bonus!
-miao.

[BabelBabe]

send 'em here to pittsburgh and they can hang out in their cages with my Thing 1 and Thing 2. I promise to feed them even.

[Cheryl]

Definately...put them on the next Southwest flight out to Vegas...I will be sure to send them home with a bunch of "tasteful" photo books that they hand out free on the Strip. I could also set them up with a bunch of collector shot glasses from every Casino. Email me with flight details...

[Cheryl...again]

<blush> If we still have time after the pub crawl, I may teach them to spell definitely correctly before I hit the submit button...but only if none of us has a hangover </blush>

[Texas T-bone]

I would never wear delicate underwear. One unfortunate poot and I'd blast it to shreds.

[elabeth]

This has nothing to do with babysitting. I just found you some more evidence of the exclusivity of your Royal Oak address.
One of your neighbors made the news!

[melissaS]

Wow, that's right by my supermarket. Royal Oak is so weird.

In other news: I have a babysitter. Thank you Jesus. Go Tigers!

[leslie]

I would babysit just for the chance to talk your ear off when you came back to pick them up!

long time reader - first time poster

[Becky]

Am I the only one imagining Melissa's kids traveling the globe Flat Stanley style?

[Denise]

Hi Melissa - I'll take Max and Maddie for the evening if you want. They already know us (well, maybe Maddie will remember) and Brynna and Tessa would love to play with them. We could meet half way between Novi and R.O. Denise K.

[FlippyO]

Aw, it's too bad you found a sitter. I would've looked forward to trudging through the casinos with Cheryl and the kids, and signing them up for all of the casino club cards. Hey, free stuff! Not to mention, the free drinks. Alas, another casino crawl with children cancelled.

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