My Blogher Story.

Yesterday morning I was back in my life. My life which included cleaning the litter boxes because the basement stunk. How is it that my husband can't smell it. He also can't smell skunk so I'm not sure what I expect. Also, I hate repair people because they NEVER give me good news. This time the bad news is that our dishwasher is kaput. I spent almost an hour washing dishes. Damn you sippy cups! Damn you to hell!

However at noon we had a playgroup and it helped swallow up that odd feeling of let down you get after a really fun weekend. The playdate lasted from noon right through to dinner time when our husbands joined us for food and it was so nice. It was the perfect day to be surrounded by the friends I've come to love here.

I was thinking about this a lot over the weekend. Sometimes it's very hard to be yourself in Michigan. Diversity isn't exactly embraced. You can argue with me if you want but normal seems to be very important here (look how I laugh at those different than me like a close minded bitch) and it's been nice having Alice as a friend who lives in Brooklyn, where motherhood looks so different than how it looks here. And Mrs Kennedy who is older and wiser and also in California where just about anything goes. I'm lucky I've met them through the Mommy Blog phenomenon but I'm also so lucky my blob has let these women I know now in my real life in on who I am really and they like me anyway.

I've been attempting to write this all day. I didn't have time yesterday and I'm supposed to be getting back into the swing at Flogging Baby but I just can't seem to pull it together. I keep looking at Flickr and crying. Then I read others takes on the conference, and while they're all interesting, I really just came to meet Alice and Mrs Kennedy. Then JenB decided to come and Hey! There's Sweetney. And also there was Heather and it was emotional in a way I wasn't expecting to meet her. And Jesus christ, Maggie, I'd no idea what a fun person she was.

See and now my list is getting really long and I'm still missing people I met but really I wasn't there to learn about advanced tools (I have several of those in my regular life. Get it? I stole it from Sweetney). I wasn't there to find my voice in political blogging. I wasn't there to learn how to get naked, Alice taught me that in private. No no no...I already know how to be personal on my blog. In fact, my husband often wishes I would put more proverbial clothes on in this realm.

All I really wanted was to meet and spend sometime with these women I know on the internet. Spending time with those women brought up emotions in me (Read: I sobbed like a stupid crybaby) and I want to spend sometime talking about those things but I can't right now because my life is literally falling apart around me as I look at flickr photos and read and read and read.

I'm going to give you a recap of the weekend though because the next time I write this I want all of that out of my head.

Thank you so much Crouching Hamster for making this happen for me. I can not imagine how I would have survived seeing all these photos and all this fun and not being there. Soul crushing comes to mind. So, thank you again.

I already talked about my horrifying moment of mortification on the airplane. ((Ahem))

I arrived at San Jose airport without incident and even found my way to the correct terminal to meet Alice. This is a sign I am growing up because I asked for directions and found the correct shuttle all by myself. I usually have anxiety attacks over these types of things. I know that's stupid. I used to have anxiety attacks about finding restrooms in crowded restaurants so whatever.

While waiting for Alice at the baggage claim I was absolutely dumbfounded watching people collect their luggage. Are they aware, I wondered, that the baggage carousel is called a carousel because it comes around again? The moment you see your luggage on the carousel, you do not need to use any means necessary to get your luggage off the carousel. A man appeared to believe he had a one time shot at his luggage and managed to fall over while attempting to grasp the luggage. I stood there mindlessly staring thinking how I wished I could kick him in the ass while he was being pulled away by his luggage....and right then Alice walked up.

Hooray! We hugged and she remarked it was not that awkward and I feel badly everyone. My friends have been really breaking me into the hug so much that I actually have to work harder to awkwardly hug than I do to have a seamless hug.

After I met Alice, I never stopped laughing. Everything she said, made me laugh. I am certain she thought I was insane because every statement she made, made me laugh. So for the rest of the afternoon Alice talked and I giggled.

Then Mrs Kennedy came, she was attacked by people protesting the "Heavenly Bed"....I guess the Heavenly Bed isn't Heavenly at all! It's a NIGHTMARE!!! It's killing the housekeepers because it is very heavy and difficult to make. I thought maybe instead of screaming at guests to check out of their hotel and calling them shameful human beings, maybe they should work with the housekeepers to stretch or something.

We went to Trader Joe's which was a lot like our Trader Joes, but with liquor. Real liquor. I couldn't believe it. Also they had avocado's on sale 8 for 25 cents! And artichokes As Big As Your Head! Mrs Kennedy couldn't quite understand my interest in the low priced produce, but in Michigan you get a tiny avocado and you pay $5 for it.

We went back to our room at that point and Mrs Kennedy showered and changed into a beautiful dress and I narrowed my eyes and called her Princess Prissy-Pants....just because I was jealous of her cute dress. On the way down to the shuttle we ran into Ken and ended up riding to the venue with one of the organizers....who was definitely not an 'Identity Blogger'. I think it's safe to say she was horrified by my mention of penises, twice.

Dinner was just fine, I am a horrific introvert and generally the only way I'm meeting a ton of people is if I'm with Logan who LOVES to meet people. I saw several people across the room I wanted to meet but the thought of the awkward, "Hi, how are you?" glued me to my seat and is probably my biggest regret about my blogher experience.

Heather arrived with Maggie not long after we did. The seating arrangement was a little awkward but worked out well I suppose since lots of people wanted to meet her. Meeting Heather, I know we all love her. But I started sending her emails before her baby arrived because I was so afraid she would struggle with depression because she had in the past. And when she did struggle with motherhood, I identified with her and sent her emails and I was never quite sure they'd helped at all. See this is getting too long. Never mind I'll have to cover this later.

When dinner was over we went back to the hotel and ended up in our room with JenB, Amanda, Heather, Mighty Girl...plus Alice (though we locked her in the bathroom so I would stop laughing at every single word she uttered) and Mrs Kennedy. We drank Tequila, some of us drank it straight and others of us added refreshing lemonade.

Logan asked me what we talked about that night and I honest to God do not remember. I didn't have a huge hangover the morning after and didn't feel that drunk but I have no recollection of what we discussed. I just remember feeling totally comfortable and several times just breathing really deeply because it was great to be there and I was so lucky to have been given this chance I wouldn't have had if others were not so kind to me.

Then everyone left and Alice and I hopped into bed together. Hot. As I began mumbling in a tired and somewhat drunken stupor (let's all remember this was about 4am my time): "I just love you guys so much. I really really do. And God Damn It! I hope you two don't snore because I can't stand snoring." Two minutes later I was lying on my back snoring like my grandfather once did. Ha!

Oh Jesus, this is so fucking long. Forget it. I feel like I owe you all a blow by blow of the weekend but Gah. I need to do laundry and maybe write for FloggingBaby.

Technorati: (heather directed me to the FAQ section, yes she touched my computer, because I am entirely mentally disabled and could not figure it out. Duh.) blogher
dailyblogher
Bloghercon

Comments

[Flippy]

"I can not imagine how I would have survived seeing all these photos and all this fun and not being there."

You want to know all about that "not being there" feeling someday, let me know. :sob: Seriously, it was fine, until the photos started filtering in on Flickr. Then, it felt like everyone went to this great party, made lots of friends...bah, it's too sad to even continue.

Still, I'm glad everyone had a great time. Everyone had better go to the next one or I'm going to feel cheated. And then, then, I'm going to have to wear a fluffy hat to mask my disappointment.

[WindyLou]

I don't even have a real blog and I felt left out!

[christy]

I am so glad you had a good time and that it allowed you to have some female bonding time and meet all those people who you don't really know would like you in real life. I know if I ever am in Michigan I will look you up because I KNOW I would like you. Because I can read your thoughts and they are just like mine. Mwah hah hah!

[Amanda]

Damn you handle your liquor well! I had no idea you were too drunk to remember. Basically Heather gushed and gushed in slow, drunken Tennessee drawl about how much those e-mails meant to her - that she is alive today because of those e-mails. And then she burped. And then Alice made a really dirty joke that I can't ever repeat.

[melissaS]

Now I'm crying again.

I really wasn't that drunk....why am I having such a hard time remembering everything. I remember that was said, but I don't remember the words or anything.

Off to cry and cook dinner.

[Jeff Anderson]

Melissa-
I have been reading your blog now for about 6 mos. I stumbled upon it months ago when I was doing a google search about an entirely unrelated topic. Nevertheless, I have been wanting to tell you for some time how much I enjoy and value reading it. I am an admitted workaholic (attorney) and my work habits have had, as you might imagine, a negative effect on my marriage and family life (married w/ two children about the same as yours). Reading your thoughts, struggles, etc. with staying at home with your children, and your husband's work schedule have really given me insight into the issues my wife deals with. While I have spoken to her about them, somehow reading them from a disinterested third party has given them more texture and meaning. I also appreciate much of your Michigan humor having spent the first 22 years of my life there. So all of that is a long way of saying thank you for sharing your life with others; it means a great deal. You are a gifted writer and clearly a very compassionate and caring person.

[Very Mom]

Soul crushing indeed :weep:

Who cares if it's long, the rest of us need to live vicariously through the recaps... please continue. And here, have a tissue.

[TB]

I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who has been a little forlorn, reading about all the fun, looking at everyone's Flick'r photos and feeling like there's a really cool club I'm not a member of.

I'm really happy you got to go though and I do hope you'll share your experience when you get the time.

[Wood]

Hi Melissa -- I'm delurking to say I'm glad you had a great time at the conference. I'm also from Michigan, and even though we live in California right now, it's looking very likely that we'll be moving to Detroit next fall. so c'mon -- tell me it can't be that bad! diversity isn't everything, uh, right? there are the lakes, and um, and the DIA, and...other stuff?

[Kismet]

But what if I had gone and nobody liked me or wanted to share a room with me??

I'll just stay home and fret.

~K!

[suburban misfit]

Do you want to cry some more, Melissa?

Go read what Heather wrote about you.

And I won't pretend to not be jealous that you had such a wonderful time.

Jealous, yes, but happy for you nonetheless!

[alice]

I think that Jeff Anderson guy is trying to get into your pants.

[PMS]

Comment EDITED: I don't owe anyone anything except the one person who donated frequent flier miles to me or the other two women who gave me cash (which you'll both be happy to know bought me one trashy magazine and at least two drinks for Alice and Mrs Kennedy who were then totally trashed).

If there is something missing from my coverage of the event over the next few days please let me know. Frankly, I'm overwhelmed and it will be a few days before I can be coherent enough to report the entire thing. But then, I don't owe you, Ms PMS an explanation.

[melissaS]

Uh. What?

[alice]

Um, "PMS," Melissa doesn't owe you shit. And you're far too incoherent to be called bitchy.

[Crouching Hamster]

Ms. Bliss,
I'm so so happy you could come out from behind the keyboard and meet some of your cohorts in blogging.

And thank you for the pictures!

[Kate]

Interesting comment about there not being a lot of diversity in Michigan- I grew up in Michigan and now live in Texas- I CRAVE the diversity of Metro Detroit. Seriously. You dont understand what you have. Here in Texas you have two groups. White and Mexican. And by white I mean Texan. There are no Italians, no Polish, no Ukranians, no Arabics, No Syrains, No Jewish, etc. The "black" people here live in one section of town. The hispanic people live in another part of town. Texas is just strange. There are a few kinds of food. Mexican and BBQ. Thats it. I would kill for a schwarma. Or a gyro. Or a pierogi. I would love to wander around Hamtramack, or Birmingham, or hell, even Dearborn, or Detroit- just to see different things. Just for a change.

Its true- you dont realize what you have till you are gone.

[Lisa V]

I am so happy you had fun, happy but incredibly jealous. Hey I am human. I have had many of these girl's weekends kinds of things that just were so fun and bonding and yada yada. Maybe next year I will go to blogher. Is it possible just to be drunk the whole time and maybe skip the classes and shop?

Hey how is the new iBook working? Last time Jobs was over drinking our beer and babysitting, he said these new ones didn't have near the trouble as mine.

Oh and while I am happy to read your exploits, you don't owe me or any one else a god damn thing. Except maybe the guy on the plane.

[JuJuBee]

I too am so jealous that I could not make it to BlogHer, and I'd cry too damnit, to be in the company of you all. Thank god for this little part of the world that we have had the oppurtunity to be involved in. I don't know what I'd do without this outlet. Glad you had fun!!

[melissaS]

True Kate, but the normals like us to be normal.

[Toni]

Hi Melissa,

I just wanted to say that I unwittingly sat behind your table at Flame, Blame and Shame and when I realized you were sitting there I got this flush of warmth, like I do when I see a friend or family member in an unexpected place. I so wanted to say hi, but I was too shy. But I saw you and wanted to say that you rock and that I think you are wonderful.

[jenB]

now Toni is making me want to cry. Melissa would have totally given you a becoming-less-awkward-hug. and she is wonderful.

[DaFFy]

Glad you had a blast Melissa, 'cos contrary to what some may say? You totally deserve it.

I'm just pissed we have nothing like that over here is AUstralia, and if we did, it would have all you guys at it so what'd be the point?

[melissaS]

Toni, I wish I looked friendlier in public. It must be the near-Detroit vibe I give off....unfriendly and willing to kick your ass.......though I'd mostly just hug you and that would kick your ass.

I wish everyone would have said hi to me. And that's a really self serving thing to say because I was too big a pussy to say hi to anyone. Gah.

[Meghan]

Melissa - That's how I've felt all weekend, like back in high school when the rich kids would go away for spring break on cruises or to their cottage for the week, while I stayed home and babysat my younger siblings because we were all home and my parents couldn't take time off. Suck.

So I've been reading everyone's summaries, and looking at flickr photos, and being jealous, but also loving watching everyone come together and share their lives. And for me, (caution, really stupid conparison approaching) it was kind of like when characters from one sitcom would make an appearance on another sitcom, because the characters were all friends and neighbors. All of these amazing women I know about because of their blogs got together and for a moment, their stories became one, and that was really great. And it also reaffirms that I'm reading the right people when everyone can be great friends in the real world, not just the blog world.

Thanks so much for sharing, not just the Blogher summary, but for your entire blog. I've only been blogging for a little over a year, but I know that I've become more honest and more open over the past 9 months since I started reading you and Heather and Alice and Mrs. Kennedy and the lot. Thanks so much!

[Phil]

"snoring like my grandfather..."

D'oh! Funny -- thanks.

Re: all the talk of people being jealous, I find myself being particularly, pointedly, extremely jealous of the cheap avocados. Where are my values?

[a2]

Hey now, there's always Ann Arbor, it's own little bubble of thriving diversity driven by the university and it's alumni. As a child of tree town, I'm often told I have no sense of the reality that lies outside .

[Nancy]

What am I doing up after 1:30am reading your blog? Just couldn't help myself. So wonderful to have you back. If I weren't so tired I'd be in touch with my own feelings of both happiness and a bit-o-jealousy, but in a nice way, too.
Cannot wait to read more. But then, I always feel that way about your writing. Nite-all.

[maia]

Rather frightening the way I devoured all the Blogher pics. Not unlike the way I 'used to' read the crap mags ;) Interesting that the women we admire most on the web got together and readers like myself marvel at the 'rock star' element of it all.

I rarely watch tv but confess I am caught up with the whole reality thing, as long as I catch it from REAL women in the REAL world dammit! A good blog is like an novel where you cannot stop reading.. you just NEED to know what happens. And yours is such a blog and I thank you :)

[sweetney]

what did PMS want, a breakdown of each session attended? read the transcripts, dude.

[Dana Knott]

Hey,
I have been reading Fussy for a while and found your blog thru Mrs. Kennedy. I saw the Blogger photos, it looks like so much fun!!! What a bunch of cool ladies. I enjoy reading your blog, (motherhood is on the horizon and reading these "mommy blogs" is like scanning a travel guide before visiting a foreign land.) Also, just had to say that I totally relate to what you said about "being yourself" here in MI!!!!

[christy]

I just saw you got mad love on dooce. It almost made me weepy just reading it and I only really know you people in pretend.

*Basking in the love overflow.*

[Wayne]

So glad to read this, so happy for you.

I sort of wish now that there was, you know, a BlogHim or something, but it would probably be as lame as the word "BlogHim" itself.

[Allegro]

The other great thing about Michigan: it's so close to Windsor, Ontario!

I'm enjoying your blog too - and especially liked reading Jeff Anderson's comment above. Did you realize what a public service you were providing?

[bihari]

I just discovered your blog, and am really enjoying it! I'm tickled to find other Mothers-in-the-Midwest-who-are-from-elsewhere-and-bemused-by-living-in-irony-free-zones. I am in Iowa, myself. Yikes, but it makes for good blogging.

[Busy Mom]

So glad you had a good time, I've enjoyed reading everyone's accounts and looking at the pictures.

[Joan]

I've been reading your blog for a long time, and have enjoyed pissin my pants laughing at you..oops I mean with you. I'm not a mommny blogger, but I do read those that you hung around this weekend with. I am so jealous, you guys have the best sense of humor ever!

[Gen]

I just have one question... are Alice and Mrs. Kennedy related? sisters? Clones? Did you have trouble telling them apart? I'm glad you had a great time.

[KellyH]

Damn it. I've been contemplating starting my own blog, and now seeing the Flickr pics and reading everyone's experiences makes me want to do it all the more- only to get to go to BlogHer and meet all the cool ladies I read each day. And I'd be hugging you first, Melissa, 'cause your blog is phenomenal and means a lot to me. I'm glad you got to go, but I'm jealous too!

[Y]

Man, I'm so grateful for you closeminded bitchiness because that PICTURE IS AWESOME.

[nicole]

sorry i didn't come up to you. i am also a pussy.
but the conference was great fun regardless.

[MetroDad]

As a "daddy blogger", I'm extremely jealous of you ladies. I'm humbled and amazed not only by your organizational fortitude but also by the great spirit of comraderie. Would love to see a male version of BlogHer. Unlikely to ever happen though, right? Anyway, I'm glad to hear you had such a great time.

[mojavi]

the look on your face is what makes the picture LOL.... even if the hat is some weird cat thing being worn in the summer...

[Lin]

All of you very cool ladies make me feel very much better about the future of this world. We baby boomers have this perverted, highly egocentric idea that once we're gone, well...will this world still be a cool place to live in. With your wonderfully, irreverant energy and humor and the often excrutiatingly harsh honesty that many of you younger women embrace, I think the world will do just fine.

Now I'm even looking forward to attending the next Blogher.

Stay strong, Melissa. Je t'embrace bien forte. (it's a hug thing)

[Sarcomical]

are my comments getting blocked? i swear to god they're getting blocked. *whimper* :(

which is crazy because i LOVE you. i was telling you how jealous i am of you for getting to go hang with all the 'cool kids'.

hope this gets through...*sigh*...

[Victoria]

Yeah for Melissa going to Blogher, cheap produce and drinks with the other famous mommy bloggers. Cheers!

[styro]

I am a fucking loser for not going to blogher. seriously. i know i'm not a mommy blogger or whatever, and i'm not internet famous like the rest of y'all but SERIOUSLY. I am jealous of the awesomeness that all ended up in one room together. did you hug JenB for me and vice versa???

[Ann Bartow]

Hi,
I'm glad you at fun at BlogHer! I'm sorry I missed it. I quote your blog at footnote 251 in this law review article: http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=755724
I love your blog.

[Miranda]

Melissa, I think I understand what you mean by lack of diversity here in the OC. Everyone seems to be clinging to the same ideal and while there are people of different ethnicities running around, there really seems to be one big dominant paradigm we moms are expected to mold to.

Maybe I'm not capturing it, but that has been my experience here on the other side of Southfield. Going against the grain is strongly frowned upon.

[Christopher Carfi]

Melissa, was great to meet you as well. You, Mrs. Kennedy, Heather, et al, do indeed rock.