The Fucking Hippies.

In Kindergarten I went to school with John McDaid.

The McDaids were the hippies down the street. Mrs McDaid did something called "Breastfeeding".....yes! She showed her breasts to other people and fed her children in public from them.....in the 70's. Which would at first glance seem fairly normal, since it was the 70's. But not in my well-to-do conservative neighborhood. There everyone thought, "What's up with the McDaids with their breasts and the feedings from them?" But it got worse. So much worse. The Crazy McDaids also made their children wear something called seatbelts. What the hell kind of lunatic straps their child into a car rather than letting them be projectiles waiting to happen?

What's funny about the Family Legend of the Hippies Down The Street, is that they fed their children organic peanut butter and breastmilk and used the seat belts their car came equipped with and that was considered 'odd'. Except my father came home on Friday night and began drinking from the Beer Fridge in our dining room and he drank right through until Sunday afternoon when he passed out. But Jesus, at least we didn't eat organic fucking peanut butter.

Drinking while blogging should be avoided, mostly.

So John McDaid and I went to kindergarten together. On the first day of school our teacher took us out for recess and he and I missed the whistle telling us to come back inside. I'm certain it was because that organic peanut butter was laced with marijuana. Because have you been listening? These people were hippies.

So the class went inside and John and I were playing on the slide. But suddenly we realized there was no one outside anymore. We were afraid and we didn't know what to do, so we decided to walk home. I was four years old when I started kindergarten, and my school was at least three blocks away across a busy road, here is a map for your viewing pleasure, especially if you're familiar with the area.

Madison lives two short blocks (I'd show you the map of that but Logan would kill me) from her school, on a straight road. I can see her walk from my front porch to the front door of the school and yet she has never walked to school alone. My mother had my brother to walk me to and from school, he was six years older than me but still on the first day of school John and I walked home and surprised our parents with our knocking on the storm doors. John made his way first and I continued walking six more doors down until my mother said something like, "Those fucking hippies."

I was planning on leading from this into my experience with friendships but Jesus, this took way too long to write. so there you have it.

Let's be honest, I'm in an odd place with this website. I'm hoping it's a phase but for now I'm doing the best I can. I feel depleted of my humor. I'm having a hard time plucking the humor from my life in an everyday sense and it's not because I'm struggling through anything particularly difficult. It's because sometimes my humor seems redundant.

I love SuburbanBliss and I'll figure this out. I hate laying things out here like this but it seems that when I admit I have nothing left to give, I suddenly turn things around. So lets hope that's the case this time.

I've struggled though a conflict with an important friendship this week and I think we've come out okay, but it was hard for me because I suck at conflict. Thankfully the person I was in conflict with is much better with conflict than I am and she held my hand through it.

More about my loser-y friendships this weekend....

Comments

[elisabeth]

ok, I have to say this. I love you, man....
no really, seriously, if I did not drink while blogging I would never blog. Don't avoid it. Embrace it.

[Amy]

I understand that you're feeling depleted (and most likely drunk or possibly just tipsy), but we depend on you to produce quality writing on a daily basis!! No, just kidding - what I really want to say is, you must feel a lot of pressure, being a blogger who so many people like to read and it's too bad that you can't just sit down and write a lot of drivel whenever you feel like it - that's the true roots of blogging, isn't it? I mean, since I am not a big name blogger and no one really cares what I write, I am free to just throw up all the minutiae of my day whenever I feel the need to write. I wish you could feel free to do that as well. You are such a brilliant writer and really the only blog I love unconditionally. But no pressure. :) Take your time working through this. But please don't go all Chez Miscarriage on us. It wouldn't be pretty.

[Lin]

I've said it before and who knows if you've heard it, but stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You're doing a great job with your online writing, here and at BB and you made it through the summer. Post when you feel like it and don't feel like you have to post when you feel like crying. It's not everyone's damn business how you feel. And while the southern gulf states are weeping tears of misery, we are too...and sometimes those tears attach themselves to relationship problems and sometimes just with life itself.

[bridget]

I it hard for me to do much but be sad for the people in the south. FUck being funny or insightful, I just want to cry. And I have. And I have prayed too. Don't be so hard on yourself. you and we will all get through this, won't we?

[sweetney]

maybe we're in the same weird place. tired? drained? have that not-so-fresh nothing-to-say feeling?

ride it, baby. i'm trying to as well. and anyway, you're rad and we'll all still be out here when you're ready.

[jenB]

i feel certain that a lot of us don't read you ONLY for the funny. we will take whatever you have to give. whenever. us blog friends aren't as fickle as they say we are behind the bike racks after fifth period.

[FlippyO]

Hey, were my parents hippies too? We were forced to wear our seatbelts from the first time we were ever in cars. The car didn't move until the seatbelts were on.

Organic peanut butter is gross. My partner's dad loves the stuff, so we tried it once. Blech. Give me Skippy Super Chunk any day.

And, I agree with jen - we don't require you bring the funny every day. Write about the kids' soccer games. What you had for lunch. Your favorite cereal. Whatever. We're not picky.

[maia]

Be good to yourself OK Melissa? I always find the second or third blissful week of kids FINALLY back in school more enjoyable. The first few weeks fraught with what they need to get, need to be, and learning to get up early again (ahem, that would be on my part..)

Hang in there, just another motherhood adjustment for you.

Hoping you are feeling better soon..

[Sarcomical]

aw, crap, i'm sorry that you've had to deal with this, melissa. i mean that in a totally not-knowing-exactly-what-it-is-but-kind-of-getting-it kind of way. you know.

and plus, don't feel pressure to be funny with us all the time. i mean, sure, you sometimes make us spit beverages out onto our screens, but that isn't necessary at all times. we just like to hear you're okay. so do what you have to do. but don't feel pressure from the Internets.

[andrea]

Dont forget that this is YOUR blog. IF you feel sad than be sad, if you feel funny be funny, if you are angry then rant. We read you not because you are funny all the time but because you are real. Just be yourself. You will be happier and we will all keep reading.
((((Melissa))))

[Melissa W]

Three cheers for Melissa's who start school at age four and suck at conflict. It takes one to know one. Relax, no one's judging!

[solistella]

I know this is slightly spammish, but I'm hoping these links will encourage as many people as possible to help my neighbors on the Gulf.

http://givingworks.ebay.com
Buy or sell an eBay item through Giving Works

http://www.katrinahousing.org
Offer up housing space for survivors through Katrina Housing

http://www.redcross.org
Make a donation to the Red Cross

http://www.fema.org
Make a donation to FEMA

[clickmom]

It is your warm and sometimes witty observations on life that keep readers like me coming back. Sometimes there isn't a laughable moment, but that doesn't mean there is nothing to say. Keep us posted, please!

[andrea]

Did the McDaid's recycle too? That would have been TOTALLY out there!

Anyway, I'm not saying anything new here, just that it's pretty clear people just want you to be you. And you're good at that, so why beat yourself up about it? :)

[Kate]

So I never, ever comment. Not here - not on any of the blogs that I read daily.
So um, I think you're cool and I would really miss the hell out of you if you stopped writing.
I hope that your saddness or anger or whatever is fleeting.
Talk when you're reay or not. But do know that your readers dig you.

[Suswhit]

I would actually appreciate it if you would write some crappy dribble. All this really funny and heartwrenching and endearing stuff makes me compulsively check your blog daily (Oh yeesh, multiple times a day, I admit it). Not to mention how it makes me feel totally inadequate as a writer. Pleeeeeeease....post some painfully dull humorless stuff with typos and bad grammer. As a service to me. Thanks so much. ;-)

[Dreadmouse]

The best reason to write a personal blog is for your own enjoyment. I know that we would all miss your writing if you felt you had to stop, but I would rather you stopped writing then felt weighed down and depressed by "having" to write here.

This blog is yours. You don't owe us anything, and you needn't feel sorry for being down or unfunny. This space is your own, do do with what you will.

That said, I certainly hope you keep writing, because I enjoy reading!

[Camera Obscura]

I didn't blog for a couple of weeks around the start of school, and I'm not required to turn out stuff for a blog other than my own on top of my normal blogging! Give yourself a break. From guilt, and from blogging.

Anyway, I haven't blogged in over a week right now b/c I'm upset over New Orleans. All my relatives got out ok, and they've all got places to live, etc. But I'm used to physically going and helping when relatives are in trouble, and there's nothing I can do. So I'm sending toy-book-and-craft care packages to the approximately-dozen NILs (they're my SIL's nieces and nephews) stuck in four tiny apartments for gawdknows how many months.

[Northern_Girl]

Considering that I have a readership of 2 maybe 3 lurkers, I envy you and your blog-stardom. But not really - because that is a lot of pressure to 'perform' and little cash in return.

But I check your site (almost)everyday - and dig it. :)

[KellyH]

Organic peanut butter. . . any peanut butter that has to be kept in the fridge is against the laws of nature. Against the laws of the universe, even. Bleeech.

I love this blog. It's yours, and I will read whatever you write. Every time you write about your children, I learn something new about being a mother. So from one mother to another- thank you, Melissa.

[Courtney]

I think that you are entitled to feel depleated every now and then. Sometimes life can just get overwhelming and draining.

Anyway just know that I adore your sense of humor.

[Lisa V]

I read you because you are a great writer, no matter what you are writing about, and no matter how you see it. I think you are hilarious, insightful and poignant. Write what the hell you want.

The kindergarten story was priceless. My stepdad was an alcoholic,as my grandfather was. I can imagine my family scandalized at the hippies, all the while sending me out to Grandpa's pick-up to get another bottle of Jim Beam from behind the seat.

[crabby]

the thing i realized about blogging and friendships in general is that they like you when you're funny and they like you when you're not. if they don't? then what kind of real/virtual friend are they?

even if things seems redundant in the hardeeharhar department, it's really not to the reader. your delivery and style are the things that people find charming and why would we want that to change? don't put undue pressure on yourself to entertain the masses. just be yourself and be proud about it. you're superfantastic as far as i can see. :-)

[Texas T-bone]

Blogging is so three years ago. The bad part about that comment is that it's not fresh, either; I've been using it for at least a year or so now. Whenever I get in a rut, I just stop posting for awhile. So few people read my site anyway that they don't care if I'm gone for days, weeks, months. Sadly, I read my archives and realize I used to be funnier, too.

[Nicholas]

When I was 5 I was spending a Saturday with my father. Parents were divorced and I lived with my mother. Dad and stepmom took a nap. I got bored and walked home. Told mom that dad dropped me off up the street. He called mom, just before he called the cops.
http://maps.google.com/maps?oi=map&q=Washington+St,+Raleigh,+NC

2 miles down busy street. I took Glenwood ave the whole way. At the time I walked to school at 5-Points (for locals), so I knew the way.

[okgirl]

You know what...if you need a break take it. I and many others would miss you, but in light of all that is going on now, I can understand how you feel. The last couple of days it has been very hard for me to find humor in anything. Who cares if you are funny or just post about how many rolls of toilet paper your family uses in a week? Have you read some of the other stuff out there? Yikes! At least your blog is very well written and reading what you write has made me actually spit Diet Coke out of my nose which is something I have not done since I was a child (of course back then it was Kook Aid or milk). You do what you need to do for you. We will still be here for ya. *hugs*

Your faitful reader,

Me :0)

[okgirl]

You know what...if you need a break take it. I and many others would miss you, but in light of all that is going on now, I can understand how you feel. The last couple of days it has been very hard for me to find humor in anything. Who cares if you are funny or just post about how many rolls of toilet paper your family uses in a week? Have you read some of the other stuff out there? Yikes! At least your blog is very well written and reading what you write has made me actually spit Diet Coke out of my nose which is something I have not done since I was a child (of course back then it was Kook Aid or milk). You do what you need to do for you. We will still be here for ya. *hugs*

Your faithful reader,

Me :0)

[okgirl]

Damn..I posted that twice. If you want to delete one, play a little game and find the misspelling I corrected and delete that one. Grrrrrr......

[Nicholas]

That Google map linky did not work. Not that it matters any.

http://maps.yahoo.com/dd_result?newaddr=Cartier+DR&taddr=517+Washington+St&csz=Raleigh%2C+NC&country=us&tcsz=Raleigh%2C+NC+27605-1525&tcountry=us

[amyp]

My dad had a beer fridge too. Was it your job, like mine, to go to the beer fridge every half-hour or so to get Dad another beer? My sisters and brother loved the job because they would 'open' the beer for him on the way upstairs, draining 1/4 of its contents before delivering it to him. I was such a nerd that it never occurred(sp?) to me to drink any of it. I did, however, enjoy shaking his beer before giving it to him. I can't imagine ever getting drunk in front of my kids because I remember how terrifying it was for me to watch my dad do it on a weekly basis. Maybe another time I'll regale you with hilarious stories of my childhood like the time my dad pissed in his friend's wife's purse after making out with her at my brother's graduation party. Classy.

[Julie]

No pressure. I enjoy all of it - so write what you want, when you want. Whatever gives you pleasure. I'll still be here (and obviously I'm far from being the only one).

[kari]

Wanna hear something ironic? Jif peanut butter doesn't have artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives, but many of the "organic" peanut butters do! There are only a couple out there that are truly all natural. Does that make me a total hippie for knowing that? Oh, gawd...

Don't go away. I enjoy reading when you are in the mood to write. Happy, sad, funny, whatever.

[Mir]

*hugs* If you need a little dose of "well at least SHE'S going to hell before ME" feel free to email me for a story. Otherwise just accept my moderately awkward hugs.

[silvermine]

Yeah, write about whatever you want. Or don't write. Whatever. I'll keep checking compulsively until I see something new, if it's in an hour, or in two weeks. No pressure, I hope. :>

[Elizabeth]

I love SuburbanBliss too! And also suck at conflict, which is why having my best friend also be my husband is so helpful. It's knowing that you are a real person with real feelings that keeps us coming back, although the funny is good too.

I grew up in Bloomfield Hills across from a family who made their kids say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir" to them, it really freaked me out!

[capello]

Not everything in life is funny, even if you try to make it out to be. I like "listening" to you, and I feel like I know you. You'll pull out of your funk eventually, just feel what your feeling and be yourself.

That's all anyone really wants.

[Tammy/averagemom]

Please don't go away! You are such a real, honest writer. I'd miss you!
My mother actually didn't want us to wear seatbelts. She figured it would trap us in the car. So of course we used to sneak them on anyway. Such rebels.

[GG]

Well, I demand that you bring the funny! Oh, I'm only joking BlissHeads! I'm thrilled to read that others check you compulsively thru the day. I thought that was just me! And it's okay when there's nothing new--it makes it all the more special when there is new stuff! Can't wait to hear about loser-y friendships...er, I mean, I can wait! Take your time!

[BethK]

Melissa,
This is my first ever post on a blog. And though I may be drunk, I'm sincere. It is 7:40 pm here in GA after all (that pertains to the drunk part). Anyway, I love reading your blog. I'm not a Mom or a Democrat (shhh) but I feel you present a refreshing attitude on many issues. I may not always agree with you, but that's what is so fabulous. I keep coming back! And I don't send nasty emails to you! Because people are allowed to have different opinions and I like reading about yours. Funny, heartfelt, or just plain informative - you're good, girl. I wish you the best and I hope you keep this site up, but if you don't, just know, there will be a girl in GA who is thinking of you and sending happy thought your way.

[Ellen]

Uh, please don't leave us... ever. When I was in the oh-my-god-what-have-I-done-with-my-life phase of post-partum depression I found your blog and read your post "My Vacation House in the South of France". And then read all your other posts and you made me laugh when nothing else in this world did. And even when the writing wasn't "funny", it was eloquently (sp? too lazy/drunk to spell check) truthful and let me know that I was going to be okay and not to feel bad that I wasn't loving every minute of parenting. Seriously, I know it sounds totally lame to say that a total stranger was one of the things that got me through my 12 weeks of maternity leave but it is true. Plus, you make drunken galvanizing okay for parents. :) You rock Melissa - its just a slump doll - it will pass.

[Salome]

I've been reading your blog for about 2 months now, and I think you're incredible. You're funny, a brilliant writer and a seemingly wonderfully complex woman. You seem like me, sometimes, and other times you seem like someone I would very much like to be. One of the things that is so appealing about your writing is your honesty and your willingness to laugh/comment on yourself. No one can be funny all the time, and no one is logging on here to laugh uproariously the entire time. If we need laughs, we'll read the captions on the pics of Logan's bday 2004. (shot my teeth at that guy's head damn near killed me, I laughed so hard.) We're logging on here to remind ourselves that there are cool people out there. At least I am, and I think you're terrific, whichever mood you're giving me. This is rambling, rambling? Rambling. Write something heartrending. I do when I feel like this, and then I have a good full-on sobbing cry and then have a beer and a good laugh. :)

[Wayne]

The first bit of this had me enthralled. No, seriously, I was thinking, "This is some terrific storytelling, I can't believe how good this is," because I wanted to see where you were going with it, you walking home from school with hippie boy, and Madison walking to and from school, and ... well, I just wanted to say that I liked it.

[Tracy]

Kiddo-
You don't know me... I found you after finding Dooce...I have to be honest. After the Blogher post on her blog I found you and am so so happy that I did. I am hooked and please don't find that to be any kind of pressure to come up with witty blogs. Just BE YOURSELF. Thats the whole point of the blog. People read it because you are you and the real you is interesting. My opinion is that you don't always have to be witty or inspired. I started blogging because my closest girlfriends and I live in all different states. One of my girlfriends thought it would be a good idea to start blogs to kind of keep in touch with eachother. I did it because... hell I love to bitch and rant and rave and most of all I LOVE to talk and write. I just write like I am talking to one of my very best girlfriends. I don't pick one in particular, that would lead to like performance anxiety or something. I just do it. It's all good. I love reading your blog and being a mom and a woman I always find something in your post that makes me laugh or cry or nod my head in agreement or makes my heart ache. (like only a fellow mom/woman could) Also sweetie... if you haven't noticed... drunk blogging is the only way to go. Keep up the good work and keep the faith. Just write about what YOU want... what YOU feel. We will love it.

Kisses and hugs from Massachusetts,
Tracy

[Monica]

When words fail, quote Shakespeare:
"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any (wo)man."

[Nicole]

Melissa, you had me way back with your description of the Lil Tykes Cozy Coupe game of chicken. While you are very funny, I keep coming back to your blog because you tell everything about motherhood and family and life, good and bad. I want to thank you for choosing to share so much of your personal life with so many you don't know.

[roo]

Melissa!
You're wicked pissah!

I love your blog. Don't be blue about being a little blue (although I know how that goes...) Your recent, more pensive posts have been really beautiful-- particularly your thoughts about Madison and what she's overcome growing from a baby to a little girl.

The end of summer can be rough in all kinds of ways. On top of which, you've been blogging more in other venues, which might take a while to adjust to.

Don't worry; we all think you rock!

[vetmommy]

Melissa, I was reading this post about the hippy family and loving it, then reading your angst at the end, and feeling simultaneously bad for you and anxious for me that you might suddenly go on hiatus (a la chezmiscarriage). What would I do without my s'bliss? When I sit down in the evening, after the kids are finally in bed and all the dishes washed, I type a mere "S" into my browser and immediately go to your blog. FIRST THING. I would miss you so much if you weren't online. Which is not to pressure you, just to let you know that even when you don't feel 100%, you are still funny or real or relevant or whatever it is we need... and it keeps us devoted readers coming back.

Keep on keeping it real.

[a]

And yet you have difficulty with friendships that have no conflicts and you don't feel compelled to at least give the other person an expanation as to why you won't speak to her anymore....nice....

[MelissaS]

Well 'a' and I know who you are. Perhaps there were actually conflicts and I didn't know how to be up front about them and still struggle to be up front about them to this day.

My point is I'm trying to learn how to do it differently. I feel badly about the way 3 of my friendships have ended in the past and I don't intend to let my friendships end the same way again.