Pillow Talk

My stomach gurgles while we're laying in bed.

Him: "Hey, is your stomach talking?"

Me: "No, it's my liver I think."

Him: "If it was your liver it would be slurring it's words."

Me: "Hmm. Maybe."

Him: "And begging for mercy from your abuse."

Me: "Right. Wearing a lampshade on it's head?"

Him: "Yes, and probably all the other organs would be saying, 'Oh God, it's The Liver, don't make eye contact. Oh my God, he's totally wasted again."

Me: "Well, maybe, but I have a feeling I know what your penis would be saying if it could talk."

Him: "Yes, I know too."

Me: "Enh....right."

Comments

[margalit]

And I bet he just can't hide it, either. ROTFLMYO

[sandra]

oh! our livers should hang out sometime!

[clickmom]

But does it sing in falsetto?

[JenfromBoston]

Does it want to "GET. UP. ON. THE. DANCE. FLOOR"??
Reminds me of that song, "We don't have to take out clothes off...to have a good time..." and I would always add, "yeah, but it sure does help!"

[Tinti Friday]

Hmmmm. This conversation could have been easedropped from me and my husband! We should throw a Slushy Lushy Liver Party. I like your blog. Glad to know you stress about your weight too! Thanks.

[DaFFy]

I think it's sad your organs are making your liver a social outcast. Everyone needs a friend, even an abused liver. Your liver has become the smoker in the family. The one no one wants to hang out with anymore.
Not that it's probably healthy to have organs hanging out as you'd probably be dead, but you get what I mean. I hope.
And as for the penis? Perhaps it's destined to go on American Idol. Now THERE'S a ratings puller. So to speak.

[Marie]

Good Lord Melissa. You are alot cuter than you give yourself credit for...I can't validate this for you. Only you can. You need to take a good long look at the photos that you have reecently posted and become comfortable with the fact that you are damn cute. Ya know the age old question...is the glass half empty or half full?

[bridget]

You crack me up! everyday is something worth reading! Rock On-

[Liz in Maryland]

But is it "staying alive, staying alive"?

Sounds like your vacation was perfect in so many ways, especially rekindling the magic between you and Logan.

[lindsay]

Ten bucks says I wake up singing "I want to please you, squeeze you..."

[elisabeth]

my liver is no longer even speaking to me.

[Marnie]

There may even be an opportunity to "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight."

[Victoria]

You never fail to crack me up. You are hilarious. I am so glad that you're back and I can continuously stalk your blog and something will be here! I am glad you had fun on your vaca and evrything, but I sure am glad your back. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face. And about your poor liver, my liver says it wouold be glad to hang out with your liver.

[taamar]

See... but you don't TELL us what his penis has to say...

I read this to my man and he started singing 'I wanna be rubbed by you, just you, and nobody else but you' in his best Marilyn Monroe impersonation. That was 20 minutes ago, and I'm still fighting laughter.

[Lil' Sis]

As horrifying as the idea is to me now, I STILL want to do that song for karaoke. Completely deadpan.
-Miao.

[JuJuBee]

That song will be in my head all.damn.day. My liver wants to be drunky-friends wth your liver. Your nightly talks are so much fun. Ours are more like:

me: your turn to get her
him: no, it's your turn
me: wrong. I know it's your turn
him: bullshit, I got her last time
me: I hate you.

[Jane]

Sadly, my husband's would be singing something like "I can't get no...satisfaction" right about now.

Damn grad school!

[PI Mom]

Your whole blog is just too funny. I'm having similar issues with the size of my ass!

[southernfriedgirl]

You are so funny. I love the dialogue.