¡Son madre de los rodillos del pelo del velcro!

I had a dream last night where I was moved to nearly homicidal rage because my mother kept referring to my velcro rollers as "Mexican Rollers".

The odd thing is that 14 hours later I still kind of want to call my mom and scream into the phone, "They're VELCRO MOTHER!!!!"

Today Max has a playdate with a very sweet and nice little boy and I have an Awkward Parental Playdate with his mother, you can read about it at Flogging Baby if you'd like. Someone suggested I bring a cooking project over for us to do together. I'd like to just bring a good book and read silently while our kids play quite honestly.

I'd like to add here in the safety of my own web space: she is very religious and you may have picked up on this website that I have a cold dead place in my heart where  organized religion (before you send me email or comment, please note I did not say "where God and Jesus) would normally go. Please don't let her witness me.

Please. Please. Please. Also, please don't let her read this website.

PS. Thank you SO MUCH for all your donations. Logan decided to run for MS in the last two weeks and set his goal at a small $100. He upped it to $500 after getting a good response from his co workers and you all have helped him up his goal to $1000 and I'm sure he'll be able to get there.

Thank you.

Comments

[shoesonwrong]

I had a dream last night my mother made me wear purple pedal pushers that came up to my armpits and a teal button down shirt. Then she somehow managed to make it that once the clothes came on, they NEVER CAME OFF AGAIN. In a rage, I bitch slapped my mother.

I still feel a little guilty.

[heatherg]

Just toss Max out the window on your way by. She's religious, so she will prolly be a good mommy and keep him until you swing back by in a couple hours......

Seriously, I would ask her.
She may look forward to a 2 hour break when her son is at your house, so i would simply ask her what she prefers.

Our children never had "play-dates" Us mom's just called one another and said " Hey, can I drop Matt off with you while i go grocery shopping" Luckily, the kids all got along....

Good luck!

[JuJuBee]

Good Luck. Nothing worse than the akward parental playdate. Maybe she would like to have a bible reading hour, and your "bible" can be People magazine.

[Kendra]

I lurk on your site every day. Today I thought how odd it is to read about someone's life every day and never say hello.

Hi, Melissa.

And now you have added a new fear to my list of phobias I am saving for when I have children: The Awkward Parental Playdate.

Ack!

[Lisa]

It might not be as bad as you are building it up in your head to be...beleive me, I've done that more often than not. Many, many times I've been anxious about a social event and have it turn out to have not only endured it...but actually enjoying myself!

Either way, I look forward to hearing about your experience... and God loves you ;)

Lisa

[Marnie]

I agree with Heather. You can always use the standard "You know, I have a few things I need to do. Would it be OK if I dropped Max off? Next week you can drop Johnny off and have a couple hours to yourself if you like."

The first time one of my mom friends offered this to me I nearly kissed her on the mouth. Now we do it frequently. It's WONDERFUL!

[Bella]

I don't see what's Mexican about them?

[mags]

The only time I have ever asked a parent to stay for a playdate is if we are going to the pool. Of course if you are friends, then it is perfectly acceptable to stay but otherwise , at least here, it is expected that you will be dropping off the kid.

I would never last 2 hours with a religious person. I would most likely have to wear my "What Would Jesus Bomb" t-shirt. Just in case.

[MelissaS]

Do you see Bella, why I am still full of piss and vinegar at my mother for making such a ridiculous statement???

There is nothing MEXICAN about velcro rollers you dolt!

[Amy]

ACK! Save Yourself! Don't stay! Because if you do stay and manage to speak to one another for a full two hours then she will be compelled to invite you to church with her (that's what they do, you know) and then you will have to endure the dreaded WHY NOT? question. Very, very bad.

Take a bottle of wine with you - if she's down, she'll sauce it up with you. If she's offended, tell her you're making up for what you miss on Sunday.

Also, don't wear deodorant - that way in the future she'll only invite Max.

[heatherg]

Ya know- I just thought of something else-

Why would you stay? I mean really? Of course I know nothing of "play-dates" but what if you and her dont really hit it off and you think she is a tight wad bitch and she thinks your jezebel?

What happens the next time these boys want to play? Would ya'll have to say NO because you dont have anything in common or how does all that work? Essentially, what happens when the parents dont play nice on a play-date?

[Nancy Toby]

I suppose telling her "You really bore the shit out of me" wouldn't be productive. Hmm.

[JenfromBoston]

"there is nothing MEXICAN about velcro rollers..." - you know, that sounds like a really good title for a book (or at least a chapter!).

Nancy T - "you really bore the shit out of me"...okay- that got a laugh.

[Tracy]

I'd say Max is definitely old enough to go solo on playdates. The question I would ask is if I wanted my son to be in the home of someone whose values aren't in keeping with mine. What if they have guns and ammo lying about? Or pedophilic priests?

It's so much easier when you do the inviting yourself.

[Eulallia]

When I was 15 I had a dream where my dad kept telling me to take a shower. I kept telling him that I just DID take a shower, but he wouldn't listen! He kept saying "Go take a shower" over and over. In my dream I was screaming at the top of my lungs "I ALREADY DID!" when I jolted awake, realizing I had just woken the entire house by screaming out loud.

[clickmom]

1. I can't tell you how many mornings I have greeted my innocent husband with "You know what did last night!" after a vivid dream. I figure if I am dreaming about something then he must have a guilty conscience. I dunno, it makes sense at 6:30 in the morning.

2. I totally feel same way about overly religious folks, even those in my own religion. ~creepy~

[carolb]

Well, I guess it's over by now. How did it go??? Did you get through it in one piece??
Are you going to do it again?? Did the boys have fun??

Details, please!!!

[Anne Glamore]

Is it customary there to mix a parental date with the kid playdate? I have never heard of that in my life, and cannot imagine that two moms don't each have better things to do, whether it's laundry or drinking a bottle of wine, (or both simultaneously, best case scenario) than trying to make small talk.

I cannot wait to hear how this goes, but I also vote that you tell her you have "errands to run."

Anne

[specialK]

Hello Melissa,

I am a longtime lurker...I just wanted to say how wonderful that it is that you and Logan are able to work together to reach so many people to fundraise for MS. My father has MS and I have grown up in a home where we have constantly had to adapt to his changing needs. It's a disease often overlooked, and it is very touching that you have been able to raise so much money - you have no idea how much it means to those who have had their lives touched by MS.

Have a wonderful day, Melissa. You are a very special person.

[Lil' Sis]

I once dreamed some random offense committed by my (ex) boyfriend and woke up punching him in the stomach repeatedly. He was very understanding once he caught his wind. And last time we were in Indianapolis together, I had the same thing happen- you & Jen did something to piss me off in a dream, and I wanted to punch the both of you all day. Luckily, I refrained. That time.
I kind of understand about the playdates- I have to hang out with bands I don't necessarily like a lot. Luckily for me, drinking is expected, so I have more fun. Or I forget to censor myself and not actually speak my mind. HA!
-Miao.

[Dawn]

!Dios Mio!

Listen there is nothing like a bottle of vino to loosen up the conversation. I have suffered endless, awkward parental conversation:
"Well, your kid sure is.....human."
"Do you enjoy forks?
If it is really bad, just disclose that you were a hooker for cash in college, and you'll never have to see her again