"This moon ain't made of cheese!"

We were invited to the University of Michigan vs. Ohio State game by a vendor Logan works with named Kim. Here is Kim:

I am not particularly a sports fan, in fact you could say I know nothing about football and don't really want to know anything about football. Our friend John grew up in Ann Arbor and is a huge football fan. When Logan told him we'd be going to this game, John said, "You know, if anything were to happen to Melissa...you make sure you call me so I can go with you." It was then that I began to fear for my life.

So it's true, football isn't really my hobby but they had other things I do consider 'hobbies' there. Like this and this and also this. So when you think about it I actually love football. The spread was nice and the game was awe inspiring, even if it made absolutely no sense whatsoever to me.

Look at all those people!

Everytime I'm out all these funny things are said and I can't remember them the day after, not because I was too drunk, please don't insult my ability to hold my alcohol. But because my brain is like mush and I can barely remember to brush my teeth in the morning. I do remember there was an astronaut among us and we became totally awestruck once we heard that.

We openly stared. Then we came up with things we could say to the astronaut. Like, "Do you like Tang?" or "What did you do with your poop up in space?" and "Those weren't really moon rocks were they?"

We liked thinking about all those things we could say and how he'd just stare at us thinking, "What a couple of class A losers." And then Logan took us over the edge pointing to his (well-shaped) ass and saying "Hey Astronaut Guy! This moon ain't made of cheese."

Which made us laugh, but then we all sat there looking confused. And Logan said, "That one would really freak him out! I mean, I don't even know what the fuck it means!"

God we entertain ourselves.

Oh and then there was the Awkward Elvis Thing, where I felt so stupid and awkward and I wasn't even wearing a white bedazzled jumpsuit.

Woah.

It was a great day and thank you to my beautiful friend Andrea and her charming and funny husband Mark (they don't always look that good, only on special occasions), we were able to go without kids and my God it felt good being without them. I mean no offense kids.

Comments

[Stephanie]

I'm laughing so loud my kids are asking "What? Is it a picture? Why are you laughing?" "Mom, why do you laugh so much when you're on the computer?" And I can't very well say "Well, I'm picturing Logan pointing at his ass and saying 'This moon ain't made of cheese!'"
I almost peed my pants!
Oh, and I love the pic of you with the Elvis impersonater. Classic! For what it's worth, I'd feel stupid and awkward in that situation, too.

[gretchen]

You probably enjoyed the game even more because you're not a football fan. (Michigan lost.) I'm a regular reader from down in Columbus and I too had a rare day without my kids in order to watch "the game." Keep writing. You brighten up the workday...

[Eulallia]

Elvis was totally hitting on you.

[Ozma]

(I found you from...somewhere? I can remember now.)

I went to a football game once and actually, without any trying at all, found myself whipped into a kind of frenzy--which helped me understand the Nazis way better.

Man, those Michigan people totally color coordinate!

[DLG in Brighton]

Oh my gosh, how funny! I can play Six Degrees of Separation from Melissa:
1. My friend Marj lives in Ann Arbor.
2. Marj lives with Marc (AKA Elvis)
3. Marc/Elvis works with Kim
4. Kim gave UM/OSU tickets to Logan
5. Logan is married to Melissa
6. Melissa writes a blog that I read frequently.

[MelissaS]

Deborah! I think I signed a cheesy autograph for you with Elvis/Marc!

[Amy]

AAAAAAAAH -- I am so jealous now! I have Michigan football season tickets (I'm an alum), but sold my OSU tickets because we just couldn't face (a) the drive from Chicago w/ two kids and (b) the fact that the hated Buckeyes would probably win.

Seeing your photos makes me wish we'd actually sucked it up and gone to game.

Until I remembered that I sold my tickets for $300/each.

[Lil' Sis]

So Chris (the boyfriend) had already read this post & told me about it last night. He got it a little mixed up, tho, and he told me that Logan had actually GRABBED the astronaut's ass while making that statement. It was WAY funnier Chris' way.

Also, Chris would like to kill the both of you for getting to go when he couldn't. I think he may have wanted me to say something else, but he'll just have to get off his lazy arse & do it himself.

-miao.

[W.]

I've been lurking for awhile, but was inspired to comment today for the first time.

I don't know which is more disturbing: That you, who admittedly isn't much of a sports fan, got to go to that game, or that you apparently routed for.... the University of Michigan?!?!

[Nowhere Guy]

Those Elvis impersonators are just creepy and disturbing?! I recently was sent a singing Elvis telegram as a joke. OMG, the longest freaking 2 minutes of my life?! They should all be exterminated!

Looks like a fun trip, though!!! =)

[K10]

That spread ain't nothin', sister. Come on down to Athens, Georgia and let us Bulldogs show you how tailgatin' is done. Mimosas, chesse grits, and country ham for brunch on Grandma's china......ain't nothing better.

Glad you had fun!

[J.Miroqua]

The advertising on your site is weird, those kids are all JonBenet-ed up; it's scary and creepy. Screepy! Advertising isn't an issue, but the content is just icky and off-putting.

[MelissaS]

(((((yawn)))))

thanks for your opinion!

[Joliesonline.com]

The best part of football games is definetly tailgating! I usually don't even need tickets to the game..I just party in the parking lot. I love your post and your pictures...it looks like a great time! - Jill

[divinecalm]

GO BUCKS!!!!! Sorry, I couldn't resist, but your pics are very cute nevertheless.

[suswhit]

Hey, we were at that game too. Alas, with kids and no fun party like you. I'd have been so excited if I'd have spotted you. But it was a little crowded for that, I guess.

[suswhit]

Regarding the ads: Good for you. Make some money! Do we have to click the ads for you to make money or does every visit to your site count? But...the little girl lounging seductively on the princess chair with the come-hither look creeps me out, too. I'm not going to click that one for you just because it's too icky...

[MelissaS]

Nope you don't have to do anything.

But I'm really surprised people find that photograph offensive, maybe you all have to ask yourselves why you're sexualizing a little girl sitting on a chair in a long sleeve sweater with a crew neck and long pants. ;-)

The items at the store are actually very cute and along the lines of MiniBoden and reasonably priced if you have any disposable income whatsoever.

[kim]

There's always fun to be had when there's a table full of booze involved. Just my 2 cents.

[Xangelle]

I can't believe that people have nothing better to do than to comment about the ads for kids clothing. It's "just" a little girl.

Melissa,
I love your site. I have no idea how I found you, but I'm so glad I did. You crack me up, and if I lived any where close to you I'd....I'd.......well, I have no idea what I'd do. I ran outta steam on that last sentence. Sorry 'bout that! :)

[roo]

Elvis appears to be introducing you to his surfer friends...

[Karen Rani]

Hi - I just kicked myself. Twice. Why? For not finding your blog sooner. Damn you are funny!

It's "just" a little girl? Yeah, so was the little girl in The Ring but I was skeered of her! The ads are fine - who gives a rat's ass as long as they pay your bills!

Anyhoo - love your site.....you are bookmarked and I'm going to add your link to my blog tomorrow!

[Heatheranne]

Oh my gosh! I had tickets to that game but couldn't go because I didn't have a sitter. I wanted to go so bad! I'm a big Ohio State football fan. I go to all the home OSU/Michigan games, but have never been to one in Michigan.

It was a great game! And...OHIO WON!! Fuckin' sweet! (Sorry, I had to do that!)

[Incredimom]

your husband is cute. He should quit posing with girls. Totally jealous for you, should only pose with pretty melissa. the end.

[Erin O'Brien]

Is it just me or are all male-type sports some variation of Man Vs. Ball? Catch the ball, throw the ball. Get the ball in the hole.

It's primordial.

And, hey, I wonder if I can find one of those jumpsuits in my size. Then I could call myself Rhinestone Housewife.

[andrea in canada]

"It was a great day and thank you to my beautiful friend Andrea and her charming and funny husband Mark (they don't always look that good, only on special occasions)"

LOL - my husband Mark clicked the link wondering why you had posted a photo of us. He always likes it when people say he's funny and charming.

Signed,
the *other* Andrea and Mark