Madison Heights is dead to me.

Yesterday it was 50 degrees and very, very rainy. Logan had to go back to the office for a few hours after we got the kids to bed, so he took my car. My car was already running low on gas so I assumed he'd stop and put some in it before making the 30 mile round trip. But the wind was whipping cold rain all over the place by then and he was going to work at 8:45 and didn't get home until 11:30 (I know, man saving panties) and I'm sure he didn't want to leave me with no gas this morning.

This morning it was no longer spring in Michigan it was 20 degrees with that same wind which had been whipping rain around last night. Only it was daytime, I was wearing my short work out pants, no gloves or hat because I was racing to get my carpool kids to school.

I also didn't grab my phone on the way out the door.

You see where I'm going no?

I dropped the all the kids off, my gauge said I had 60 miles left, so I ran my errands, went to the gym and decided to swing by my house to get my hat and gloves so I could fill up the gas tank without freezing my hands off my body.

About 5 miles from my house, in Madison Heights (which is dead to me), surprise! No gas...when the digital gauge said I had 45 more. But I didn't because the car would not start again.

I sat for a minute and debated my options. Which were (since I didn't have my phone):
Walk the five miles to my house to call one of my girlfriends to help me.
Knock on some doors to see if anyone would let me use their phone.
Flag down a passerby (it was a relatively busy residential street) to borrow a cell phone.

I started to try to walk home, but about one block into the at least 32 block walk my ankles were freezing (I was wearing cropped workout pants and no socks), my ears were about to fall off and the hands in the pocket thing was not going to cut it in this hellish wind.

So I started back toward my car, stopping at doors along the way where cars were in the driveway. This neighborhood is not the 'nicest' area, but I chose 4 houses with cars in the driveways which looked the least like a banjo playing anal rapist lived there.

Not one person answered the fucking door.

I then turned on my hazard lights and began waving at people driving up and down the road. I did this for 40 minutes. I waved at at least 30 cars and not one of those people stopped to offer me any help. NOT A SINGLE PERSON. I am still just beyond awed.

I am a woman, in her 30's standing in workout clothes holding a Kate Spade bag outside a God damned minivan with it's hazards on in a no parking zone in 20 degree weather waving frantically at all the cars passing me and not one of you assholes could stop and offer me a little help? Couldn't call the police? Couldn't stop to offer me a phone?

My faith in humanity has been challenged today by those people on Gardenia between John R and Stephenson. If you were on that road today between 10:15 and 10:50 then you are exactly who I'm talking about. Shame on you.

I finally tackled someone and begged him to let me use his phone. He was just coming home from work and seemed reluctant to let me use his god damn cellphone for 3 minutes while I called Logan for help. I'm glad you decided to help me, Mr Shift Worker, but your kindness would have been more appreciated if you hadn't attempted to WALK AWAY FROM YOU WHILE I ASKED YOU IF I COULD USE YOUR PHONE FOR HELP. If I hadn't had to virtually CHASE YOU I may have better feelings about how you helped me.

Nonetheless, thanks.

Luckily Logan is shooting photography with our friend Joe today and Cari (his fiancee and also assistant) was not too far away getting gas herself when Logan called her. Cari was glad to help and didn't make me chase her to do it and didn't ignore me when I waved pleadingly at her.

Cari is also not from Madison Heights. This is not a coincidence.

Again, dead to me Madison Heights. We thought you were cute before because Madison could drive through and pretend she owned the city...since ever auto shop, liquor store and school has her name on the front. But now, we are changing Madison's name because we want no ties to you and your cold detatched ways.

I really don't talk about Logan's job because well we like paying our mortgage and eating.

But read this. Logan made the cut but quite a few of his friends, some our friends didn't and between my emotional instability, this news and what Madison Heights did to me, I've been crying all morning.

We all know I've been unsatisfied with where our financial life has been going for the last 3 years or so. I talked before about how I'd like Logan to find another job he loves like he loves this one. Where they are able to compensate him for the work he gives them.

With the huge Ford layoffs and the GM layoffs and the automotive industry struggling to thrive in this internationally competitive marketplace, I'm convinced the entire economy of this area is going to get much worse before it gets better.

I really hate to feel uneasy and uneasy is what I'm feeling. I want out.

Comments

[Mrs Ca]

I had a similar incident where no one helped me and I too lost a little faith in humanity. Although another time a weird looking greasy old man in a big windowless van stopped to offer me help. I don't know which is worse. (I, of course, locked my doors as he was approaching, only opened the window a crack and declined help saying I had already called someone...eek!)

[JuJuBee]

Wow...Madison Heights sucks. I would have been so pissed off, you poor thing. I hope your face isn't chapped from the wind. Crossing my fingers for you that things look up instead of down with the financial situation. I know what you are feeling with that "uneasyness".

[rsm]

The running out of gas thing has happened to me three times. Once is a real shame. Two more times after that, I've been informed, is just stupidity and you (I) deserve everything you (I) get.

I'm sorry about the job instability. My husband's income is the only steady income we have coming in, so I know what it's like to worry (a lot). What sucks the most is that there's nothing you can do about it; you just feel so powerless.

But hey, at least you're working out. I haven't worked out in 2 months.

[Sarah]

Leaving ths house in winter in that state....shame on you, young lady.

We just moved here from Chicago becuase of my husband's job. Holy shit is the market bad here. I never lumped "Michigan" in with the poor states, but it really is. We're in Ann Arbor and I have a fairly decent resume for the types of jobs I'm applying for, and aside from the fact that they move soooo slowly on interviews and hiring, I feel like everyone conducting interviews in this town graduated from UMich and everyone I'm competing against for the jobs also graduated from U of Mich.

And Detroit's a whole other story.

You guys are lucky in that you can (relatively) easily pick up and relocate if necessary, but the auto workers...I just can't imagine how a guy who has worked on an assembly line for 20 years but is still 25 years from retirement is expected to get retrained and re-enter the the new service economy.

I think about my father, a truck driver, being expected to be a receptionist at a dental office of something.

It is really really rough around here.

Now. Go put a blanket, a flashlight, a change of clothing, a few granola bars, a rope, and jumper cables in the back of your vehicle. Right now!!!

[Patty]

Melissa--first time I'm commenting...

As a fellow Michigander, I feel your pain.

I was once stuck in traffic between Brighton and Ann Arbor and stopped and ran into a grocery store and begged them to please let me use their phone so I could make a quick but important call since I was delayed from my destination.

I might have well as been Satan and I was getting more and more desparate and felt like I was in the Twlight Zone as I begged one employee after another to let me use their phone until a customer in the grocery store finally let me use their g-d cell phone.

What the hell is wrong with people? Wish I could have stopped to help you...

Sorry you're having a bad day.

I admire you so very much...and secretly hope I'll run into you one day at the Detroit Zoo....

[Kelly]

I saw that article when it came out in AdWeek and hoped that you guys wouldn't be effected--I'm so sorry for your friends and Logan's co-workers... I've been through massive agency layoffs before, and it sucks no matter which side of the fence you wind up on.

[Melissa Summers]

Sarah. I went out dressed like that since it was FIFTY DEGREES yesterday. Max and I walked downtown it was balmy.

I also had granola bars in the car, a blanket, a flashlight, jumper cables and not one of those things made a difference.

Of course next time I'll be remembering my fucking phone. Lesson learned universe!

[metalmeredith]

It does amaze me how one story gets so many "it happened to me" responses. I feel that way too, but won't bore you with my version of events.

The internet always feels like a cold place until I come to sites like yours and read about your daily life and realize how not alone we all are.

It is so sad that it takes the internet for people to understand how we need just a little more grace, a little more compassion and a little more humor to make ourselves feel human on a daily basis.

Those people should all be ashamed of themselves for not offering up a few minutes of their day. Karma is a real bitch.

[redheadmomma]

Can I say one word FREELANCE. My husband is in Advertising too and has lost his job 3 times in 9 years. Now he is freelancing and mainly works for Goodby. I think he worked for DDBO many years ago. He makes a lot more money his clients LOVE him and he loves his job. People suck , stay warm, Chicago is freezing too.

[weaker vessel]

I always knew that DTE gauge was trying to fuck with me! I always tempt fate, but vow never to again now that I have read this harrowing account.

Financial anxiety sucks the big one; it's been an ever-present part of my life since we got married at 18. Heck, I might even start to miss that little gnawing in the gut feeling if we won the lottery tomorrow.

[Sarah]

Lol!

Sorry, Melissa, was channeling my dad there for a moment.

Michigan weather seems to be about as baffling as the Michigan job market.

[KatieS]

Melissa,
Once I got hit on the LODGE, was wedged in my car, and was screaming for someone to help me, and business men driving past me looked and me and kept going. One even looked at me dead in the eye and shrugged. I lost a little bit of faith in humanity that day too.

And like you, we're uneasy about what's going in MI too. Since my partner's business is building houses, we've felt the bite for awhile and don't have a lot of hope it's going to get much better.

I wish I could say something upbeat now.... Um, how about "Those sure were cute bags in the previous post..."

[jenthejen]

I'm thoroughly disgusted nobody stopped to help you! Where in the hell are all the humanitarians? I've passed people by if they look totally crazy... but I called 911 and explained what I saw if it looked like they needed help (little clues like the car stopped in a no-parking zone with the hazards flashing would be a favorite). I'm so sorry that happened to you.

[Lena]

Melissa! Stop it! This is ridiculous! 45 minutes? Mini van? Little blonde you? And nothing? Did they think this was all part of some elaborate scheme to beat them senseless with your Kate Spade and steal their mittens?

Ridiculous.

Also, I'm not sure what a blanket and rope would have done for you in this situation. Perhaps you could have been a bit more creative Melissa and fashioned some sort of car trapping device between a few trees. Huh?

So happy that Logan is still gainfully employed. He's obviously talented and I hope he finds a pefect fit soon.

And at a minimum you're working out. I've gained 10 pounds since I started blogging. It's the work of the Devil I tell ya!

[Christine]

It sucks that good samaritans seem to be a thing of the past. I'm glad you found somebody to tackle. ;)

I understand what you're feeling about the layoffs. My husband stays home with our kids so I am the sole provider for our family. A week ago today we had layoffs and one of my good friends was cut. It was scary and sad and brought me to tears.

Ok, I'm not being very inspiring. So, anyway....hang in there.

[Belinda]

Aww. I'm sorry. And I totally understand the "uneasy" thing.

Now, the car/gas issue is a tough one for me, because my dad was a HERO in this regard, and always took care of Mom's car, especially making sure it was gassed up and serviced regularly, and ESPECIALLY especially if he drove it, it always had a full tank when it came back. He would do the same thing with my vehicle, "stealing" it from the office and bringing it back with a fresh oil change and tank of gas. My husband? Will drive my tank EMPTY and not even tell me about it. Drives me completely bug-nuts. I am hardest on my husband when I compare him to my father, I know that. But dang, couldn't he just be him a LITTLE?

And people not helping you? Boggles my mind. It would never happen here. You might get helped by some rednecks, but you'd have a swarm of polite men on you inside of 5 minutes, all secretly hoping to have a chance to use their winches, and being disappointed that you were "only" out of gas.

[Andrea In Japan]

ohh sweety!!
The running out of gas in an unfriendly area is one of my bigger fears,
but
The job insecurity is by far the scariest. I wish you are your family the best of luck in this.
(((((hugs)))))

[misfithausfrau]

Wow. I never hear stories about people being stranded like that in the Midwest. I always expected it when I lived in New Jersey.

I hear you about the whole layoff thing. My husband works for Proctor & Gamble and was told he will no longer have a job on June 30. His entire division is dissolving. We haven't even been here in the midwest a year. Now we will have to go elsewhere because my husband is a scientist and there are jobs for him only in certain places. It totally sucks.

[Momtowolf]

Melissa,

I'm so sorry you had such a bad day. It sucks when people don't help people right away.

My hubby is also in the graphic design field and got his 30 day notice this week. The company is disolving. He's been there for 8 years. We were not ready for this and not juggling to get it together before his 30 days are up......freaky when he's the main breadwinner....

Hope your weekend is good!!

[Nothing But Bonfires]

Ugh, people are awful sometimes. But then something wonderful will happen, I bet---some kind stranger will do something for you---and you'll think "god, people are so kind sometimes," and the universe will right itself.

The last time I had to unexpectedly beg for help from someone, I'd been in the backyard, sunbathing, and my boyfriend left for work and LOCKED THE BACK DOOR, so I couldn't get back into the house. I had to walk down my street IN MY BIKINI (which, fine, in the privacy of my own backyard, but on the street? No thanks) and accost the first person I saw, asking to borrow his cellphone. Luckily, he was pretty amenable. Not sure if it was living in the friendly South or the fact that I was half-nekkid, but still.

So screw the blanket and the granola bars -- maybe keep a bikini in the back of the car for next time?

[patti]

It sucks that the world has come to the point that people are afraid to help other people. I'll admit, I've been guilty of that. And yes, I probably would've been paranoid enough to think you were the 'decoy', and that the real killers were inside the van.

Sorry you had to experience that, Melissa!

In the spirit of commiseration, the year after high school (which was long before carrying a cell phone was common practice) I worked doing singing telegrams. On my way home from a telegram one night, I ran out of gas. In winter. On a dark highway. IN A BELLY DANCING COSTUME. With no spare clothes.

Since I was only one exit from my house, I started running along the highway in my "I Dream of Jeannie" duds, and a very scary man pulled along side me and offered me a ride in a very "would you like a ride, little girl in an enticing belly dancing outfit?" kind of way, and I just kept running. Finally a police officer pulled over and offered to drive me home. He did. My dad nearly strangled me in that sweet fatherly, "You could've been murdered!" way, and I never ran out of gas again.

Except for that other time.

Oops.

[drama mom]

That sucks no one would stop to help you, especially when it was so damn cold...jesus. Your not alone feeling uneasy. My husband works for an automotive plant in Warren that does work for many of the car companies and I walk on egg shells terrified that he will be laid off or let go.

[emmak]

Goodness, what a hellish experience. I can't believe no one would let you use their cell phone. I live in Baltimore City and I've been unable to start my car even though the gage says I still have gas quite a few times, although I have never had any trouble getting a passerby to lend me their cell. Maybe the natives here are less wary.

[mrs_enid]

Not that I expect this to necessarily make you feel better, but I think that the fact that you were in a sketchy neighborhood probably has a lot to do with the fact that no one would help you. I live in the burbs, and have for most of my life. However, at various times, I've worked or gone to school in inner city or borderline inner city areas. I've found that people are much less likely to help or get involved with other people's problems in areas like that. I don't know why, maybe it's self protection or maybe it's the fact that there is already so much crazy stuff going on there that people want to tune it out as much as they can.

Anyway, I am sorry for the rough time that you had. But, the moral of the story is never to leave the suburbs, not even for one second!

Just kidding, obviously. ;)

[Scraplifter]

Dearest Melissa. Awkward HUGS to you. Worrying about job security is enough to drive me to drink, and I don't drink. And freaking godd hell, what is wrong with all those non-stopping losers?

[Crouching Hamster]

Ugh. Actually, people in New Jersey ARE nicer (I got lost in downtown Newark last weekend).

It's OK to cry. Take a few deep breaths, and know that you have many many people thinking about you and supporting you.

[Mom101]

Any chance you'd move to NY and work at BBDO here? Lubars is a former boss and great guy, and contrary to popular belief, we do lend our phones to moms in need. But you would have to dump the minivan.

[Anne]

Hello, first time commenting here.

I know you've probably bought your bag already, but try https://shop.theanimalrescuesite.com/store/site.do?siteId=310. They have some nice bags, and more stuff.

I've never been to Michigan, but if I do, I'll avoid Madison Heights. Hope you are feeling more chipper today - pun totally intended (ok, so the pun is a little hard to find, as in 'animal rescue store'.)

[ozma]

So you were in a sketchy neighborhood. I was thinking 'oh, it's the suburbs. In the inner city, people are not so chicken. Everyone wanted to help me when my car broke down in Watts (border of Inglewood). That, and wanted to find out what the hell I was doing in a 1950s convertible and halterdress in Watts.

As for the layoffs, what the hell are they doing calling this 'creative restructuring.' If it was me, that phrase would drive me batshit-out-to-buy-a-gun.

[Alice Bradley]

What's with the arctic wind whipping through Fridays across the land? How did we have the same cold front here--is that the way weather works? Because I didn't think it was the way weather worked. I'm going to have to talk to someone about that.

Also, you know, you really shouldn't go anywhere without a phone. And gas. And proper clothing.

(I love you.)

[nattychick]

'Ditto' on all the 'Sorry's' and 'There-there's' etc. I know. I should post something constructive. My brain? Unconstructive (deconstructive?) today. Bad. Bad. people in Madison Heights. MH is SO off my wish list of places to visit in the US. So THERE!

[mayarn]

Up until about a year ago I worked as a writer at Campbell-Ewald, so I really feel for metro Detroit and the advertising community. I'm not sure what else to say except I wish you guys the best of luck.

Even though I also hate madison heights and am pretty scared of banjo playing anal rapists, i totally would have stopped for you. bastards!

[TeriLynn]

Madison Heights isn't sketchy! A bit white-trash in some parts, but not dangerous. Plus, Monday is from Madison Heights, and you LOVE him...

ha!
-Miao.

[Maniacal]

I can't believe no one stopped. That's horrible. *mental note - never forget phone again* I work for DCX, and I'm waiting to be next. =\