It's not you, it's everyone else.

To call me 'incredibly irritable' would be like calling Logan a mere mortal.

There are a lot of things which happen on a daily basis which annoy the living hell out of me. These things annoy me because I expect my fellow human beings to be conscientious and mostly they are not.

My neighbor across the street with the boat stored between his house and garage where the boat looms over the house. The boat isn't the problem, it's not rude...it's just ugly as hell. The problem is this neighbor comes home everyday around 4 o'clock and plays his music. He plays the music so loudly in his very small house that even with his windows and door closed, and with my windows and doors closed I can still hear the throbbing bass through my entire house, even in the basement.

But that's not my only problem, because as I outlined last week no one in this God forsaken neighborhood has a grasp of the idea that sound travels. So at 10pm, if you want to play your piano, maybe you want to shut your windows? Or at 8am if you feel like drumming in the morning, keep it to yourself? Or if you're warming your car up while you're in your house...maybe you don't need to leave your radio blaring? Or at 11pm, if you want to blare xylophone music (what the ever loving hell?)...you should shut your doors and windows?

Other Things Which Happen All The Time and Signify Rudeness To Me But What's the Point of Getting Upset About It Since It Happens All The Time?

I don't know. But I here they are:

I hate when someone waits, just standing there watching their groceries be rung up, and then and only then, once the total is announced they start to dig through their purse to find the checkbook.

I hate people who fly past on the left when they can clearly see the left lane is closing and by doing that, rather than merging, they're making everyone else wait even longer.

Talking in the movie theatre sends me into a rage I can't even describe without considering committing myself to a mental institution.

In essence, you could say I don't like dealing with the general population. I don't like large crowds of people because people annoy me in so very many ways.

Flogging Baby has a lot of readers. Between the google search hits and the AOL links, it's like being trapped in the supermarket with people stalled in the aisles, roaming aimlessly, talking on their phones as loudly as possible and asking 50 times how much the total was again?

The other day as I did some grocery shopping, I looked at all the people in that store and I wondered to myself, 'Would I want to have a conversation with that person? What about that one?'

And, really, I saw six people in the entire market I would want to engage in any type of conversation at all, much less a parenting one.

I presume, if I were to start a conversation with the woman in the U-Scan line with the word "Sexy" written across her ass (hopefully meant in an ironic way)(and don't get me started on the God Damn U-Scan)(Too Late: The sign says, "15 item limit" not "15 point IQ limit"). Where was I?

If I started a conversation with the U-Scan woman about, say, medicating a child on a flight, it's entirely likely she would end up screaming at me about how ludicrous the whole idea is and how anyone who does this should END UP IN JAIL AND HAVE THEIR CHILD TAKEN AWAY.

Because a large portion of the general population is incapable of seeing the plural ways of doing things and that very little we all do in parenting and life is entirely wrong but a whole lot of things are not the way we would choose to do them.

And like I expect people to start to write their check while their groceries are rung up and how I expect there not to even be xylophone music in the world, I also expect people to be kind and respectful in their disagreements. I like to think the world is full of mostly smart people.

Perhaps I've learned to think that because my own website is full of smart people who, even when they disagree are able to either represent their way of thinking in a kind way or mostly not say anything.

Also it seems the people who read this website understand who I am a little more. They may not like who I am (and uh...they keep reading anyway...which would be like me following around the lady in the U-Scan lane being increasingly annoyed at her check writing skills and xylophone rudeness...but okay....) but mostly if you're here you get that I'm sarcastic and I joke a lot and often overstate reality for comedic effect.

But if you ran into me at the supermarket and I was blabbering on and on, you might think: "What the fuck? This woman is so aggravating/stupid/retarded!" and you might start to tell me those things because why am I going on and on about my opinion in the middle of the grocery store.

Do you see? The Flog is the supermarket of my nightmares. I'm just not cut out for it.

And yet it's helped my life so much I can't just shun it. But God, even the most benign things set the people in the Nightmare Supermarket off and the nastiness and the sheer volume I'm trying to keep up with is just. Really not going well. A few weeks ago something I'd hoped would release the pressure on me fell through and has only brought into more glaring focus how I'm unable to do all of this.

I haven't wanted to talk about it because as we all know the surest way to get yourself fired is to blog about your work. But you'll see why then, even the most kindly stated criticisms (though what's with the threats?) of my website's current condition really rile me up. I'm running as fast as I can here.

And, as my friends have learned this week, if you try to help me understand that these criticisms aren't really all that bad, so why are you so upset? I will lash out at you as well because I am upset about it and I just want to be upset about it and I don't know about you but sometimes when you're upset you just really don't want someone to explain to you why you shouldn't be upset.

Comments

[AmyinMotown]

Xylophone music? Hysterical. I didn't think there was such a thing. With a house that backs up to a cemetery we get bagpipes a lot. Would be annoying except the families are all grieving so I can't very well start screaming "TURN THAT SHIT OFF!" much as I might wish to.

Was it Club Mom that fell through? They didn't even deign to respond to me, if that's what it was.

And seriously, the offer for any kind of help you need with the Flog still stands. Not for money, just to help out.

[Wallydraigle]

"Talking in the movie theatre sends me into a rage I can't even describe without considering committing myself to a mental institution."

I don't think you're alone in this. Last week in the theater, I almost made the talking-loudly-while-chewing-popcorn-loudly-while-rattling-plastic-wrap-
on-the-junior-mints man into a eunich.

As for people who can't disagree nicely, good Lord! Sweet Moses, people. I'm assuming most of these people who can type and read blogs passed kindergarten, so why are they acting like they're still in preschool?

I disagree with a lot of the stuff you say (politically, at least), but I love your blog (some of your funniest posts have made fun of opinions I hold dear, and I still laugh), and the veins in my eyeballs don't burst every time I read one little thing that I can't agree on. What is it about the web that brings out the bratty child in people? Why is behavior that would be completely unacceptable in person suddenly okay when you're at a keyboard?

But I love your blog, and sometimes you make me laugh until I cry. So keep it up.

[JA]

Melissa,

I have been reading your blog for several years now and I love that you are "sarcastic" and you "joke a lot and often overstate reality for comedic effect" - as a mother of two I relate to most everything that you talk about. I am sorry that you are going through this right now, but I love reading your thoughts and stories, even through the rough times. Just wanted to let you know that you always make me laugh (and sometimes cry - but in a "good" way).

JA

PS - I hate that whole waiting to pull out your checkbook thing, too - what - do people think that they are going to get their groceries free?

[merseydotes]

Change your tagline to "...and fuck you if you don't like it."

And please keep writing.

(For what it's worth, I can barely read the Flog comments for too long before my head wants to explode. I hope you can make the arrangment more workable or get to a point where you don't need it.)

[jenn long steele]

With a "Type A" personality, I can totally sympathize with flying off the handle even if the "normal" people think it's not a big deal. In fact, that would probably describe me, oh, every day. And that's not even counting hormonal issues.

I have to say that I'm a huge fan of your blog because it feels like you crawl into my head and articulate how I feel about a lot of things. Like body image. Or annoying people. Or stupid and annoying people.

[sugaredharpy]

Oooh, I agree with merseydotes. I like reading the Flog but I CANNOT read comments. At all. I used to try but ohmygod, I wish many commenters would just go make a pie or drink a bourbon or something instead.

And the movies talking, I can't do it. I can't stand talking nor popcorn crunching. We once sat near a guy who ate popcorn like this:

1) Grab huge handful of popcorn, spill 25% on ground

2) Hold entire handful to face

3) Work jaw up and down into handful of popcorn, making loud CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH sounds and causing tiny pieces of paritally-chewed popcorn fly out of the corners of mouth.

I simmered in silence while my husband patted my hand, hoping to calm the beast.

[Bonzai]

My God, you echo my unspoken sentiments every day. I stand in grocery stores wondering if the rest of the world can't count, have stopped going to movies (thank goodness for Netflix!) because I am afraid I'll kill someone, moved out of a nice condo because I couldn't take the nutty neighbors who listened to their muzak on 11 and couldn't understand that the bass made my head want to explode, and yes, I have considered covering my children with chocolate and eating them...and anything else that might stand still.
The sad reality? You may be like me - in the far right end of the IQ bell curve trying desperately to understand the people in the middle who are too oblivious to ever consider that their actions might be inconsiderate to others.
Your musically challenged neighbors remind me of the irritating couple who lived next to my college rental house who felt that they needed to spread a little Gospel music once the weather got warm - they were treated to Prince at the same volume. Thankfully, they got the hint and shut the windows.
Don't stop blogging and don't think for a minute that the trolls outnumber the people who get your blog, even if we aren't lucky enough to count you as a personal friend.

[ExGirlScout]

It's not that you don't like large crowds of people, it's that you don't like people who don't know how to behave in large crowds.

I moved from the midwest to NYC about a decade ago, and am constantly amazed by the public display of good manners here. Seriously. It's all about taking up no more space than you need and keeping your noise to yourself.

Every time I go back to Ohio, the Detroit airport makes me lose my shit in about five minutes. The "outta my way" thing New Yorkers have is balanced by something we never get credit for: we'll get out of YOUR way, too.

Anyhow. All to say that you're not nuts, maybe just misfiled.

[nancy]

I went to flog to see what you were talking about and then I couldn't help but disagree and post about something (of course alcohol related). And now I feel like I am one of the grocery store people, sorry. (I promise I have my debit card out and ready...I am speedy, and probably just in the U-Scan buying wine and chips)

[Meg]

Here's what I think of people who use the anonymity and distance of the internet to take shots at other people:

Pathetic.

Here's what I think of people who can't discuss their views in a civil fashion:

Pathetic.

And here's what I think of you, Melissa:

Effing Amazing.

Don't let the bastards get you down. You write beautifully, you have a host of devoted fans, and anyone trying to harsh your mellow deserves a poke in the eye.

And because I know this will come up:

Encouraging people and being civil in debate is not a form of "sucking up." It's a form of basic human respect, and you should have learned it in the damn sandbox before you left kindergarten. Especially if you are in Melissa's sandbox, which is NOT your place to piss.

Oh yes -- and no throwing the fucking sand.

[Mrs X]

I equate reading the Flog comments to stabbing myself in the head with an icepick.
I don't see anything wrong with disagreeing, but I think there's a respectful way to do it. Sadly, because this is the internet, people seem to think that common courtesy doesn't apply.
I refuse to consider someone's opinion when they're rude or indulging in name-calling.
I'm sorry that they've gotten to you. I think I'd be upset too.

[misslizzie]

BRAVO!

[PK]

I think you should get MORE upset. My motto is, "As upset as I damned well wanna be, so there you bastards!!"

[kristenv]

Delurking. Since you need it.

I get you! Everyday of my life I feel I am in the minority. Try being an atheist socially conscious mother in the Bible Belt; its a wonder I have a tongue anymore after so much biting. Is there a more maligned creature in this world than a woman with an opinion? Everyday I fight not to cling to and feel downtrodden by my recurring thought that people are idiots- however true it may be, it just makes me feel down. I envy you your circle of friends and find it comforting to know you are out there and, more often than not, you feel as I do, and you're keepin' it real...Melissa...beacon of light from the north.

It makes me sad, though, that it takes a million posts like this to buoy you up a little, and, well, its like fighting against the tide. Wish there was a way to help.

Hang in there, girlfriend.

[Dorkette]

Melissa:

You abso-fucking-lutely have a right to be upset. And very upset at that.

Taking offense to people who are offensive is perfectly normal. It does not mean you are overly sensitive. These asswipes just view the internet as a forum to take liberties they really have no business taking. People love to mouth off without consequences, to get your goad. So be pissed - I would. To those who say to let it just roll off your back, well... bully for them. I doubt, very seriously, that anyone who was personally criticized on a daily basis by faceless imbeciles would be so unaffected.

Do what's right for you, and don't beat yourself up for being pissed off at the haters. In the meantime, I challenge those rat-finks to be as open and honest about their lives as you have been and see what kind of fanmail they get. It's easy to be an attacker without a face.

Ahem, I mean that in the best possible way, of course.

[areyouserious]

Checkbooks!! Not only do those people who wait bother me, but people who STILL USE CHECKBOOKS annoy the hell out of me!! For fuck's sake, get with the '90's already--it's called an ATM card.

[Sweetney]

oh, lady. i'm so sorry.

and there is a ongoing argument between jamie and myself about how he should handle my being upset. he, like the friends you mention above, wants to explain to me why i shouldn't be upset (trying to "fix things", at least in my brain, to defuse the bad feelings), and after YEARS still does not seem to get that this only makes me MORE upset. don't fucking tell me how to feel man, or disparage my feelings. i'll cut you.

you have every right to your feelings (and i know i don't need to tell you that), and to expressing them. fuck anyone who tries to tell you differently, even under the guise of "helping".

[Jerri Ann]

you know what? Me thinks you are right! Period! Maybe you are the robot, not Logan

[susan @ yow]

I don't know anything about Blogging Baby (or Flogging or Clogging) but I was wondering if it would be possible for you to turn off comments on your posts. What with everything you write being so controversial and all.

And for the record, I've been reading your blog for a couple of years and I can't ever remember disagreeing with anything you have written.

[margalit]

I read your site because I like what you have to say, despite the fact that you obviously don't like me or what I have to say. That's ok, my skin is pretty thick and I don't really feel the need to argue a point on a blog, which is why I rarely comment.

But I have to ask a couple of questions. Is it possibly to move to another blog within Weblogs, one that isn't so controversial and is easier to deal with? Could you manage that and still being in the income you need?

Can you find a job blogging elsewhere entirely? There are jobs out there for professional bloggers. I blog on 26 different professional sites for my job and I can promise you that my job is going to need more bloggers as we grow. No way can I keep up with that volume.

Is your commitment to blogging about parenting only, or can you consider blogging about other things?

Do you have to read the comments on the Flog. Is that part of your job description, or can you just ignore them. I know that I rarely read any comments on the Flog because I don't think they're really relevant to my lifestyle.

And lastly, are the comments that upset you directed at your personally, or are you just taking it all personally because you're upset? I know that you blew my head off the last time I commented and your response was pretty harsh considering what I said. Since you don't know me from Adam, I thought it was pretty funny that you made such a harsh statement about me without even taking into account that what I said is my OPINION, and even if you don't agree with it, it doesn't make me a bad person.

Maybe you need a vacation from all blogging for a bit. I don't know if you can do that financially, but if you can, would you consider it?

[hayesmary]

Melissa - my secret wish is that you would move to Sunnydale, Massachusetts (also known as Wellesley) and that we would be bestest friends. And I can't wait to read what you write about Birmingham, because, like you, I struggle with my own upbringing in a Birmingham-like suburb of Denver with my own alcoholic father. And my children? I want to deep fry them and roll them in a cinnamon sugar mixture. So, you don't owe us anything, but know that there are many of us out here who appreciate your brave and honest writing.

[MelanieinOrygun]

What everyone else said re: screw the haters, it's your feelings and they can suck it.
Also, I have only been reading your site since maybe January and I don't miss a day of checking to see if you've written something new here. You crack me up, you make me think, and you remind me of one of my best friends in the way that you think and talk.
So I figure it's mostly the same thing you see with IRL; some people are awesome and "get" you, some people don't "get" you at all but check in to see how other people think, and some people are just assholes that want to foist their fucking opinions off on others without so much as a by-your-leave. And those people are the 'they' I was referring to re: suck it.
As for the comment re: leaving the blog zone for a while: that was kind of mean. If not intentionally, then in a porcupiney kind of way. Thanks for playin'. Do not pass 'Go,' do not collect $200.

[Ed Note: I deleted the comment Melanie is referring to. 'Disengage' is the name of the game.]

[jbeeky]

I am considering getting "IF YOU CAN READ THIS STOP LOOKING AT MY ASS" sweatpants.

You are freaking highlarious, do not change ever, ever, ever, ever!!!!!!

Jill
www.Karenroadchronicles.blogger.com

[Jenn]

When I was a senior in college, I had an apartment near a house where the music majors practiced and hung out and whatnot, and there was always someone playing the xylophone. Always! It was like living next to a weird circus.

I have nothing else to say, all I can do is offer an awkward hug.

[midwestgrrl]

Oh God, Nightmare Supermarket. I hate the Regular Land Of Consciousness Supermarket so Nightmare Supermarket is a place I dare not think about.

[alh]

I agree with just about all of your annoyances. And to avoid retyping my story, if you wish go to my blog and in the February archives read the one entitled "Neighbors." Never in my life have I understood why perfect strangers might be capable of murdering "innocents."
Calgon, don't just take me away, deliver me!

[mags]

um, margalit, did you read her post? about how she just wants to be upset & not have people tell her why she shouldn't be upset and how to fix it? guess not.

Melissa, you rock 'n stuff. so don't let the bitches get you down. just visualize those nasty commentors whipping out their checkbooks at the last possible second in the grocery store, because that is who you are dealing with.

oh, and i have to tell you of my grocery store eye-vein popping experience this weekend. the woman in front of me had 2 carts full at the check-out, gets her total ($347!!), then another store employee comes up to her & says "would you like to apply for our new smith's credit card and save 10% on your purchase?" and she's all, "yeah, 'cause that will be $35. and you already gave me the form, so i will fill it out now!" mind you, this is a credit card app, so it takes her like 10 minutes to fill it out & the whole time the store girl is standing over her watching her fill it out. then she hands her the form & the employee girl says "ok, now i will go back to the office and get your 10% off coupon'!!!!! i couldn't effing believe it!!! why did she not go get the coupon whilst the lady was filling out the form?? do you need a 150 IQ to figure out that little time saving technique? does the store not trust her not to hand out these 10% off coupons willy-nilly? oy, vey! my boyfriend, who thank god is wired up like me, had to hear the whole story with embellishments for the next couple of hours!

[Deb]

Alright, bear with me here....I am the tiniest bit scared of your tongue lashing abilities....you could definately kick my ass if you wanted to!
The therapist in me totally understands why you want the friends to shut the fuck up and just let you be upset. My next move would be to give you permission to be PISSED for as long as you need. Then I would ask how long do you think you need?

Clearly you are in a growth period and they SUCK Mercury must be retrograde too....

Seriously just keep on working towards NOT taking it all personally, this is the land of Internet Freaks and the Flog seems to attract them. I can't read it any more either....sorry I know you still work there. What is the purpose of that website anyway? maybe a revisit of the goal/objective/purpose could help get it to a place that would be more workable.
You are totally brilliant and therefore allowed to be cranky and eccentric and irritable. Actually I think I adore you b/c you remind me of my husband! He says it is an East coast worldview...I think it is hilarious and personally tend towards the very pollyannaish newage zen positivity. Yea, opposites attract...

[CartwheelsAtMidnight]

You are having a crappy week... month.

And it's ok. If you want to be mad and rant then you should definitely do that. It's the only way to make you feel better in the end.

Well, That and the Margaritas.

[msadventures]

Aw, Hon! Seems like something's going around, whatever it is, and you've got the worst of it.

I enjoy your blog, Melissa, don't change a thing. As for Blogging Baby, I have to agree with what someone else here said...I read it a few times and the comments were just too ri-damn-diculous for me to stay around there. I have no idea how you've managed this long without killing someone, so bravo to you.

Here's hoping things get better for you and soon! In the meantime, here's a hug and a double of whatever you drink, without the pacifier. :)

[esther]

i love reading your blog.

and sometimes, people read my blog and make these comments that lead me to think, 'why do you keep reading, you hateful s.o.b.?'

so i could relate.

btw - xylophone music = blog fodder.

[Stir Fry Kitty]

I'm like you. I pretty much think 99% of the population is a bunch of inconsiderate assholes, and also idiots. Good thing I work in retail, non? But, basically, the way I manage to keep from letting ugly people get to me is by remembering that I DO think that 99% of the population is idiots, and why would I care what an idiot thinks? That would make ME an idiot.

Thick skin is hard to grow, but it's invaluable. You haven't had child protective services up your ass about your kids, so though your parenting might not be perfect (who's is?), whatever mistakes you might make are unlikely to be harmful to your kiddos.

Be yourself. Do your thing. Write about it, if that's what you want to do. And learn, though it's hard, to say boo to anyone who is shitty enough to criticize in a way that's just flat out unkind. Anyone who has an opinion worth hearing will voice it in a way that will make you think, not make you hurt.

[Lena]

Melissa - For starters, you need to kindly suggest to your neighbor that he play his xylophone INSIDE the CAR while he warms it up in the morning with the garage door CLOSED.

Uh, huh. Two birds, one stone.

I was just hired by Club Mom and your entries are making me nervous. I KNOW it's inevitable.

You're the Flog's bitch.

[amyp]

i know i'm just repeating what others have said but, 1. the grocery store boils my blood like no other, 2. i read your posts on the flog but i can't read the comments, and 3. reading about your experiences as a mom makes me excited about having kids myself.

bitch until you feel better and then make yourself a drink.

[Heather]

Most days I'd be inclined to agree, but someone said something pretty nice to me at work today and has me on some weird happy trip.

He said he and another guy were going to leave and come back to bring me flowers because he could see how overrun I was. Someone I was working with didn't show so I ended up doing the work of two people. Most people would probably call this dude and his buddy amog the non-conscientious in the world (I work in the criminal courts) but he was actually pretty nice, even if in my opinion he was probably full of crap.

So while this can probably be accurately characterized as a pointless ramble there really are lots of good people out there, even if sometimes it seems like you have to look to find them.

[BigBro]

I will defend to the death any womans right to wear words across her buttocks or any other arousing area of her anatomy! It's of one of lifes little pleasures.

[Lisa V]

Thinking of you.

[Angela]

I have only been reading you for a couple of months now, but I really enjoy you. I find your "anger" to be funny. You make me laugh and I know that you make others laugh as well. Your honesty is refreshing. Please keep being pissed off at everyone, it is always good fun to read.

[Meganann]

The flog commenters are crazy. I always catch myself wanting to comment then saying fuck it, because I don't want to get into that debate.

The weird thing is, they do it EVERY post. Anything the least bit "controversial" like growth charts or benydryl. People on that site are opposed to everything. It is like a black hole for sense. People are sanctimonious and all "I never EVER let little Graycelynn take BENYDRYL without the permission and written support of the American Academy of Pediatrics. ANYONE who would DRUG their child for a plane ride should have their children taken AWAY". Um, overreact much?

Seriously, there are a lot of wacked out people on the flog. My sympathies. If you must flog, flog drunk!

[chirky]

My boss actually tried to convince me today that it is BETTER for the street if you use all of the road, and that the City of Dallas has actually released a statement to that effect, and thus, it is entirely rational for him to "just use all the road" by flying past all the people WAITING THEIR TURN.

I promptly (and joyfully) took that opportunity to inform him that those actions made him a jerk.

[CatLady?]

People annoy me too. One that gets me that wasn't on your list - people who talk on their cell phones in the video store. Loudly. And keep walking in front of you, even when you walk around and try to go the the next shelf of DVDs. Standing right there in front of you, practically shouting in their stupid phone about whether or not "The Cutting Edge 2: Going for Gold" is going to be half as as good as the original. Because these people always have *GREAT* taste in movies.

[Lisa]

My theory on the Crowded Supermarket Hypothesis Of The Internet (which I totally agree with) is that in a place where people congregate anonymously like cars bumper to bumper on a highway, "company manners" go out the window and people use it as an excuse to vent their hostilities. I imagine that a kid-based site like Flogging gives them even more excuses because they can tell themselves the crap they fling at you is "for the children." I recently left Daily Kos, which I once loved, for this very reason.

Just my two cents. I'm sorry you are stressed. This too shall pass, but it sucks until that happens!

[lastewie]

Darling Melissa,
I so get your pissyness at the Flogging crowd. I read there because of you, and when I read the comments I can only laugh at the bitter, self-serving asswipes. Not everyone is so sanctimonious, but the drive-bys? Gah!!
Glad you have an outlet like this site, where people DO get you. Hang in there....Jenny

[heartfull]

I love reading you here. I like reading you at the Flog.

I never read comments, so maybe that is the key to my happiness. Can you do the same, at least at the Flog? Or is that part of the job?

[marian]

Melissa, I have to say, I've been very much enjoying the new you. The new you is a lot like the old you, which I also enjoyed. But I especially find refreshing your honesty, your refusal to squeeze humor out of a situation that you don't find funny, and your willingness to show yourself as you are.

[Daugher In Law]

Oh my goodness. How I totally get the needing to be upset. Sometimes you just need the 15 minutes (3 days, whatever) to wallow in it before you can get over it.

In the case of the supermarket, I doubt as many people would pick fights just because. When you remove the anonymity filter, people are a whole lot nicer. It just sucks and I'm sorry people are arses.

[wiseacres]

First, a turkey sandwich with a glass of milk. THEN the Benadryl.

[Anne Glamore]

Truly, why, in the age of debit cards, are people still writing checks in the grocery store? Just wondering.

[LB]

ahh..the grocery store..I try to use one kinda out of my way since it has a feel I like. I usually take my kids and at certain stores we get a lot of glares, even when they are being angels so I don't really agree with DIL above that people are nicer in person. Can you switch?

I have no idea why people post and email so mean to you Melissa.I'm the first to admit I don't always agree with you but your attitude is so frank and personal,it's not like you tell everyone else what to do,it sucks people have to be twats when writing to you.

I adore the Flog, comments too, I've been contrary there myself but, I think short of twatty. It seems after 20 comments or so posters get really nasty.

hang in there-

[Shandra]

I used to work for an online community and man - it sucks when people are crazyrabid there and you're just trying to get your work done. I'm glad you're still blogging here though. (longtime lurker me:))

[susies]

"Anyone who has an opinion worth hearing will voice it in a way that will make you think, not make you hurt."
StirFryKitty

This should be posted on millions of billboards and produced in funky public service announcements and be a mandatory ad on all blogs that allow comments.

[Kaymadmom]

Its been so long since I commented on your blog, but I just had to throw out a cyber hug to you. Here-> {{{hug}}}

I love your blog, and I love reading what you have to say about parenting and life in general. The world is just so full of assholes Melissa. The other day at the supermarket this lady put her cart smack in the middle of the aisle. When she looked and saw me coming she continued to stare blankly at the (apparently overwhelming) selection of ketchup for what felt like an hour. WTF? How do people go through life completely unaware of how their actions affect others?

Dimetapp + toddler on airplane = BLISS

[hp]

(Just mainly a lurker . . . )

Flogging baby has been confusing me. Almost all the messages I try to post have disappeared into thin air, and even I as a geek can't figure out why. Is it a moderation black hole, or a browser-server disconnect problem? *sigh* Ah, well, I still read even if I can't participate.

But, re: this site--first and foremost, a personsal blog is a PERSONAL BLOG. Personal blogs do sit in a strange place: they are a broadcast to the public, and they generally do invite the public to comment. But when the audience that evolves from that public starts to develop a sense of entitlement and starts trying to "control" the flow or content of the blog, it's clearly the owner's right to slap them silly and tell them like it or leave it.

Or, at least, that's the way I view it. And now I will return to lurking and not post again until long after I've forgotten my login and password.

[Anna V.]

You are awesome. I created an account just to give you my little ounce of support. You have such a great style, and I wish I had a mom friend like you. I stick with posting at Flogging Baby just for the people who aren't judgemental... there's never any reason to personally call somebody out for an opinion!!! I look forward to reading your personal blog now... keep it flowing!

: )

[far and away the farthest]

All of your complaints are completely valid. Since they are also pretty unsolvable, if I were your buddy I would invite you over for smoothies and pizza. We would watch Steel Magnolias again and try to get through Sally Field's scene at the graveyard without crying.
By the time we failed at that completely it would be time for Marguerites!

Hoping things feel better soon.

[Caloden]

I've only been smacked around a few times in cyberspace but it smarts something fierce. It is so irritating when they spank you at work, you worked to come up with the post, put some imagination and effort into it and get it out there.
I hang out mostly on the Cancer Blog and more recently on Slashfood.
I hope it gets better super soon. :)

[FlippyO]

Before the days of the ATM, I would always mostly fill out my grocery store checks at home before I left. I hate making people wait behind me.

I was in the hospital yesterday and the nurse almost jumped up and kicked her heels in the air, just because I said "thank you". That's sad.

[hitherandyon]

First, I will continue to read you, because I like what you have to say - and because I am still laughing about your yoga post! I have concluded that Rodney Yee can do a lot of things I can't do, because he doesn't have boobs!!!

We like you - really!
(and I have totally brought benadryl on a trip - "just in case" and my pediatrician has said it is fine) - DOCTOR'S ORDERS!!!! Take that you evil trolls.

[Ninotchka]

So be upset! People can be so fucking stupid, it's maddening sometimes. We all need to vent. God knows I do it. And often. Heck, YOU even know.

I'd follow you around the "supermarket" any day, Melissa. But not in a stalkerish way. :)

[Angel]

I don't blame you a bit for being upset. Not only are you an incredible writer, but quite frankly, I don't think you're so "out there" as to deserve any kind of controversy!

I left AOL and stopped reading Flog because of the internet crazies.

My shopping irritant--being asked 3 times by a Target employee if I wanted to apply for a credit card. Um, no, no, and NO?