Clothes.

In 3.5 weeks I'm going to Chicago with my girlfriends. We planned this trip so long ago, we didn't think it would ever come around.

But now it's May and it's almost time time. And I weigh as much as I did when I said, "I'm not going to Chicago looking like this." And I just emptied my closet of everything that doesn't fit and I have no clothes. So I'm going to Chicago naked.

(As an aside, I was measured at the gym and I lost an average of 2 inches from every part of my body. However I gained a half a pound and before you say, 'But muscle weighs more than fat.' I gained body fat too, 3% overall. I've asked no less than 14 people how this is possible physiologically speaking, and now I'm asking you. What the ever loving fuck?)

Instead of going to Chicago naked, I'm going to have to buy some clothes.

I've told Logan and the kids all I want for Mother's Day, is clothes. Clothes from Boden preferably. Never mind we don't usually do 'gifts' for these types of holidays, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I really want this dress, but it's out of stock in the pattern I want for seven weeks. I also like this top and this skirt (in stone). The list just keeps growing.

Not Boden, but promising, does anyone have this skirt? It looks flattering but I worry about the tie thing. I had a horrifying experience with a sarong, a crying baby and a tantruming 3-year-old a few years ago and I've steered clear of things which have the potential for incorrect tying or being caught in the wheels of a stroller.

A-hem.

Note there are no pants on my list. I hate buying pants as much as I hate obsessing about every item of food and drink I put in my mouth. They're both related.

Comments

[Meg]

I hate shopping for pants because companies are IDIOTS about tailoring and no one wants to deal with more... erm... "fruitful" hips and not have the waistbands be "fruitful" as well. And I hate that!

The skirt is very cute... the tie-ish one. Very springy. I'd say you deserve it.

[JaneMarie]

Oh love the clothes. I so hate buying pants as well. I'm 5'4.5" and they don't make pants that fit me. The make pants for tall thin girls that have long legs and no pants. So they never fit my hips and are 4 inches too long. If I try and find petite pants they are a smidgen too short and I have to go up a size to fit my rear. Skirts I love.

Tie skirts - I never buy cause I'm so short wasted that the tie is always covered by my shirt and just adds more bulk. Love the idea of reversible though, two outfits for the price of one!!!

[JaneMarie]

Whenever you click on my name in your comments, it doesn't go to my profile page but just says that it can't be found? what's up

Pimping my blog
http://auntyjaney.blogspot.com

[foodmomiac]

Great taste in clothing - I love the Boden items. The tie skirt scares me. I've never been able to pull one off, BUT, I'm really short, so things look odd on me no matter what. Oh, and Dylan has a new habit of sticking her hand into my waistband, and hanging on me, and just being a leech, so I think I'd end up recreating the scene you allude to in your post.

[Jerri Ann]

If you can wear that dress and top, you aren't too big or fluffy or nothing....I, on the other hand, am big and wouldn't consider those even though I love them a lot. You do have good taste in clothing, so get 'em, wear 'em and be proud!

[mom on a wire]

Isn't Chicago the "windy city"? Wind plus wrap skirts do not mix.

[Sarah]

How inappropriate is it that I now can't wait for an opportunity to use the phrase "what the ever loving fuck?"

[Jamie]

I'm with mom on a wire on the possible wind and wrap skirt fiasco although those are the cutest skirts I've seen. I've never heard of Boden but I'm now thinking that I need clothes for Mother's Day. And how pathetic is it that I finally signed up for a Typepad account so I could comment on the cute clothes you are scoping out?

[mrs.cpa]

I'm on my fist day back from maternitiy leave and I get sucked in by Boden (maybe I should be working and not looking at blogs, huh?). Never heard of them, but man, I'll be shopping there soon. They have everything in Talls! With a 36 in inseam, it's hard to find cute tall stuff.

[monkeybird]

OMG! I had never heard of Boden, but man do I love their clothing! It is SO me. You have wonderful taste. :-)

As for the wrap-around skirt. I happen to have a VERY similar one -also vintage fabric, with a funky appliqué... Anyway, I'm not exactly thin, and very hippy, and I too have had problems with previous wraparound clothing (although not involving a stroller) and have been extremely statisfied with that skirt. It is really flattering and just the right length. I say go for it!

ps: Meg, amen on your pant-shopping comment!

[dawn]

From all I've heard/learned about body fat %, the systems are so variable it's almost completely useless unless you're using the method in which you're entirely submerged in a tank of water or something (maybe this is what david Blaine is doing right now?). So take your 2 inches and run with it. Straight to Boden's. And buy all those pretty clothes before all your readers (like me) buy them up and they're out of stock cuz we all wanna dress like you.

Have an awesome time in Chicago. :)

[Wendy Mac]

Yes, it is so annoying! I recently lost 5% body fat but 0 pounds. Wha?

I am so jealous, I wish I could go to Chicago, too. I lived there for 5 years, and even though I live in Southern CA, I would move back in a second given the opportunity...

Have a blast... and just go shopping, enjoy yourself! I spent a fortune on clothes before my last vacation sans husband and kid.

[LB]

Melissa- I'm chuckling picturing you in that demure Boden sundress, waiting in a grocery store line, looking so sweet but mulling those slow-poke check writers!

FWIW I have wrap around skirt that never gives me problems. I'm too fat for the Libby's skirt sizing and I'm not good with dry cleaning, But her skirt looks fine,with the tie in the front where you can keep an eye on it. I think it's side closures that are a bigger problem, where your elbows loosen it. I have a sarong too. I tuck to the side, since if I tuck it in front I look HUGE, so I can really only wear the sargong like pajamas around the house, but my skirt fastens in the front and is great.

When you come to Chicago, hit Filene's Basement. It seems like the What Not to Wear show goes there a lot and they seem to really score.

[Anna]

Love the Boden dress and the wraparound skirt! If you can only get one of them, make it the dress. It looks like it has a really lovely and flattering cut!
I also second Dawn on the 'take the two inches and run'.

[sonnetj]

All pants-makers should be shot. Shot! Pants are evil. They never fit! And my ass, she looks so fucking big in the pants. And the bulge, the dreaded, flabby bulge over the waist. So tire-like. So unattractive! I look like a Hobbit. A be-panted hobbit. Kill the pants-makers! Kill them all!

In short, yeah, no pants.

A-line skirt, you are my only friend.

[Teresa]

I am so the opposite. I hate shopping for skirts - hence I never wear them. I feel that my legs are short and "thick." I would go pant shopping any day over the terrifying experience of a kneel length or shorter skirt.

[Teresa]

I am so the opposite. I hate shopping for skirts - hence I never wear them. I feel that my legs are short and "thick." I would go pant shopping any day over the terrifying experience of a knee length or shorter skirt.

[chirky]

I'm with you. Hate. Shopping. For. Pants.

Mainly because of the presence of THIGHS on my body. The overbearing presence.

Also, these skirts! And dresses! And shirts! So cute! Why have I never heard of these stores before?

And, please post a list of all your favorite stores, because I am certain you know of more that I have not yet discovered, and they must be discovered! Now!

[TeriLynn]

I have a fantastic wrap skirt that I wear constantly. To avoid it coming untied, make sure it's got smaller ties and double knot it. To avoid that blowing-open thing, they usually overlap about half the way around your body. I've never had a problem. Plus, they're forgiving, size-wise. You can buy a slightly smaller size & it looser to fit, especially if you've already lost 2 inches! (which is the difference I'd go with, because it sounds like the people at your gym are morons & calculated wrong at some point. Hard measurements are harder to screw up!)
Oh, and also, wrap skirts are really easy to make. you can use the one you buy as a pattern and make more. They really only take a couple hours, if you don't have to fight off cats attacking your fabric.
And, you are fantastic at buying pants. The only pants I wear are ones you've handed me down! Because I can't buy pants...
-miao.

[Melissa Summers]

Great news! I have more of my fabulous pants to give you.

God Damn It.

They probably won't fit you but you should try them before I shop them all off to the salvation army.

Local Tip: Be watching the Salvation Army at Fourth Street if you're in the market for barely worn gap, ann taylor and old navy clothes from last year. I rule!

[madame sosostris]

forget the wrap skirt. forget it. booze + crazy, on-the-loose girlfriends + more booze + wrap skirt = guaranteed embarassing disaster. wear clothes you won't have to think twice about or have to perform "maintenance" checks on throughout the day/evening. carefree clothes = ability to drink more booze and be crazy without accidentally showing off your goods. Hope you rake in the gifts on Mother's Day!

[Velma]

I'd agree with madame sosostris, as any sort of walking around in the spring Chicago weather will make the skirt anxiety-provoking. I operate under the theory that my friends and I are likely to be cackling and drunk and making so much noise that no one will be looking at what we are wearing as they give us disapproving looks and eventually shoo us out of the bar...

[meander]

As a Chicagoan I feel I must present this interesting factoid...
Chicago is the Windy City because of hot air from politicians as they were lobbying for the 1893 World's Fair. (Not because it is much windier than anywhere else in the midwest.)
Still, wrap around skirts are frustrating when I have had too many Margaritas.

[molly_g]

Melissa, I could have written this exact post. I, too, am heading for Chicago this month for a girlfriend's weekend. Just this morning I looked in the mirror and thought, "What happened to the losing a few pounds before Memorial Day?" Ugh. I have to make a trip to go shopping, which I so hate to do. I can't internet shop. I don't fit into clothes like normal people. I have to try everything on. Ugh.

However, I'm hoping that a few cocktails into the weekend in Chicago and I won't care how I look. I'll be with the girls! I hope you have a good time.

[LB]

>>try them before I shop them all off to the salvation army<<

Hi Melissa-have you ever tried a consignmnet store or eBay? If you can blog and upload to flicr you can list on eBay easily. I have pals that eBay all the time and do nicely $$ wise. I am uploading-ly challenged so I usually take stuff I can't wear any longer to a womens's shelter near me. In April, on a whim I took about a basket full to a resale lady and if it all sells I will get $70. GL.

[summer]

Ah, yes, the all too annual Clothes Which No Longer Fit Migration...it's underway here, too.

You have my empathy.

[IzzyMom]

Heh...I say the same thing about BlogHer. I am NOT going to BlogHer with this spare 15 lbs of baby fat. Not. But I haven't done a whole lot about losing it. At least you go to the gym (and lost inches.)

I finally conceded and bought some new jeans recently since strangulation about the midsection was becoming sort of of...uncomfortable.

I'd rather get a Brazilian wax than do that again anytime soon.