New tagline.

Over the weekend I got a very nice email from Brian of Byrneunit, and I'd like to ask the universe why Dr Phil has a tv show and Brian does not, because his email made me feel about one hundred times better than Dr Phil ever has. (Apparently while on deadline, Brian takes smoke breaks, vanilla coke breaks, pee breaks, nap breaks and entertain internet people with email breaks.)

He understood my self-doubt and loathing quandry and instead of telling me to 'play' he talked about the kind of therapy I can really get behind, "I know of some amusing alcohol-based treatments, but no solution."

And all of that was fine and very nice and made me feel a little better really. But what made me happiest were his parting words. They are my new tagline and also what I say to myself in the mirror as I try to accept the limitations of my hair and my ability to communicate my desires for my hair to my hair dresser.

I cut my hair off on Saturday and have been mired in a debate with myself ever since. I like the sides and the back of my hair cut but the front is torturous. I can't stand it. Do I go back and have her turn that front section thingie that keeps hanging lifelessly over my right eye into a wispy bang-like thing? Keeping in mind that previous attempts to have bangs have resulted in frustration and tears.

Additionally, Logan gives this idea a thorough thumbs way way down saying, "No good will ever come from bangs!"

I am definitely a hairdresser's dream: An insecure, psychotically self-loathing freak who hates the way her face looks. Hairdressers must love clients like me, love me like they love a punch in the face.

*I've republished my site (four times), cleared the cache and still my banner won't update. Here it is.

Comments

[AngstyJen]

For what it's worth, I totally understand your salon angst. I hate getting my hair cut because I have to spend at least 30 minutes looking at myself in a mirror - with wet hair no less. It's heinous.

I think you're pretty and so is your hair. Maybe a cute clip for the front part?

[Oogleboogle]

I think both you and your haircut are adorable. Personally, I like the "front section thingie". It's not just one thingie - it can be many thingies. Look! It's bangs! No, wait, now it's that really hot vampy actress from the '30's that always had her hair draped over her eye (Veronica Lake?)! No, it's tucked behind the ears and looking really cute and fun and kicky (that's KICKY, not KINKY). Plus the color is absolutely gorgeous. I want that color very very much.

[jennster]

it's cute! i could never go that short cause i would look awful. you, however, do not.
I HATE RYAN SEACREST. why are you torturing me with that line?!?!?!!! i wish he'd trip on something and stay down there.

[Deb]

OMG Melissa we have the exact same kind of straight thin, stick to my head hair. Mine is really long and stringy right now and I put it up everyday b/c I don't know what to do. I have had all your haircuts many times too....only so much you can do with this kind of hair. At least yours fits your face and body....Your all long and lean like your hair. I am round and rounder and the stringy hair just ain't helpin. I like it shorter, it is very summery and perky.
Cool the email made you happy....lots of kudos and alcohol being mentally sent your way for being a single mom for so long.
I am lazy and don't want to search the archives, what DO you like to drink???

[schmutzie]

Bangs are evil! I either have to have hair down to my shoulders so that I can grow them out and effectively tuck them behind my ears or have hair short enough that the whole thing is bangs length. Try putting a shot of some kind of colour, lighter or darker or purple, through the front if it needs something something.

[Andie D.]

See, that's why I go to the cheapo haircut places. No matter how much I pay, I never, ever like my hair. So why pay more?

Plus, I'm a haircut slut. I just can't commit.

[Melissa Summers]

Oh I hate Seacrest too, that's what makes it funny to me.

[Lena]

Melissa, we have similar faces and DO NOT CUT BANGS! You just need to cut a slightly shorter layer around your face. Just ONE.

Also, eye bags: POTATO SLICES. A few thin potato slices on each eye on your back for 10 minutes. Tell Logan to leave you alone ;).

It truly works better than any cream. You can thank me later.

www.cheekylotus.com

[Wood]

why is Lena talking about potato slices and eye bags? Is it just a random tip, or am I missing something?

what struck me from the photos was that god, your skin looks great. And you look very, very young. Young in a "she has two kids, no way!" way.

I like the cut. I like the front and side sweep. New haircuts take some getting used to. give it a few days, it looks great.

also love the new tagline, but must confess that I secretly enjoy ryan seacrest very much.

[Melissa Summers]

In my flickr stream I asked for puffy eye bag tips. Mine have gotten really bad.

[zhanae]

you know, melissa, i agree. i do think you need some sort of bang. not like this, but like this or this.

I love the back and sides, but I think the front is a little too severe. sideswept bangs that are layered would look great.

[Sheryl]

Your hair looks cute, and since I hardly ever comment you know I'm not just saying that. Also your banner loaded just fine.
And just remember when you're in that dark place of self loathing, that at least you're taller than Ryan Seacreast. We can't all say that.

[leigh]

It's a really cute haircut. I doubt you're interested in what a stranger has to say about your hair, but really, it's adorable. And I understand the urge to do more cutting when you're unhappy with your haircut, but resist! Don't cut bangs. Years of my life have been lost to growing out bangs.

[kerewin]

When I looked at those pictures I just kept saying, "Holy crap, you're so beautiful!"

I like your haircut, and I don't think you are in any need of bangs. However, if you do decide to get them, my hairdresser cuts mine at an angle so they sweep. It also makes growing them out a lot easier than if you cut them straight across.

[Wallydraigle]

I love your hair. I think you have my haircut, actually, which happens to be the first one I have ever truly loved. But I have this ginormous forehead (that is always shiny, no matter what I do to it, like I'm Red from That 70s Show or something), so maybe the reason I like it is that that thing you hate in front? it disguises The Forehead of Doom quite nicely. You do not have The Forehead of Doom, but I still think that haircut looks good.

[tuckova]

I think it looks really good. It does slightly recollect the skater boys, but what's wrong with that? You don't look like a boy at all, so it's like an homage (in a sexy and cute way).

[MelanieinOrygun]

I like it. I think it's very pretty and feminine, and I wouldn't have even thought 'boyish' in passing.
You have a very classic face and it frames it nicely. And also, what people have been saying about the color? Agreed. I love that color.

[Kim E]

The hair is very cute and I especially love the colour. I completely understand your 'do angst though - I have not owned a set of bangs since 1990 but I so totally admire everyone else with the nerve to take that step. While it IS a huge leap of faith, I think some cute wispy bangs will look great with the rest of that style but even if you don't go that route, you rock the sk8er fringe.

[leigh]

Your hair is a lot like mine, only mine is wispier and curlier.

i think you need some volumn in the front, are you sure you have enough product?

[Mrs X]

I hate getting my haircut. It always results in tears (usually mine, once a stylist's who cut my hair in such a way that made me look like Dudley Moore only worse). Which is probably why I haven't gotten my hair cut in almost 2 years.
All this to say, I have no idea about hair.
See? I'm totally helpful.

[enasus]

I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not, but I honestly don't think the cut is *that* much different than before, especially when it is tucked behind your ear. It is cuter than before, and actually quite cool from the back. Stay away from the bangs. If you're not crazy about the thingie in front, you can always tuck it behind your ear which you cannot do with bangs.

[CityMama™]

Your new hair cut is fabulous. You are right, the back *is* especially rad. I love the choppiness. It's so now. So wow.

You were a looker before, but now you are even more stunning. Your haircut makes you look younger and sassier. Man, and you have excellent brows, too.

That length is perfect for you. New haircut is workin'!

(Don't do the bang thing, just get some light-hold hairspray and spray the front while lifting SLIGHTLY to give it a little volume. Don't tread into 80's territory...)

[CityMama™]

One more thing, looking at the front again.

I think you should have your stylist slightly trim the front piece. You have a little bit of curl on the ends (like I do, and that would drive me nuts, too), and I think she just needs to cut into the ends a bit to make that piece lay flatter (and possibly angle up toward your ear a bit more. But otherwise, your haircut is hawt.

And re: eye creams, I found one for you (You know how obsessive I am about this subject):

http://shop.avon.com/avonshop/default.asp?couponCode=&level1_id=1&level2_id=6&pdept_id=22&dept_id=90&pf_id=9994&level=4

Anew Clinical Eye Lift $28 and it's getting good reviews...

[Velma]

No love for the bangs, eh? I must be the only woman in the world who has worn bangs her ENTIRE life. As a child, my mom cut 'em to hide a strawberry birthmark on my forehead, and I've just always, always had bangs. Hair down to my waist - with bangs! Shortest pixie cut ever? Bangs!

I may have to re-think my position on bangs now, after seeing the fear and dread they cause among the populace.

[chirky]

I like the cut. And I envy you. My hair is much, much too unruly and frizzy to do anything without gobs of "hair product." Currently, I have a mixture of four different products clinging to each hair, and with all that product, I just don't see how my hair STILL has time to be frizzy.

[tuckova]

I'm looking again at the haircut to confirm that I still think it is cute (I do) and a slightly more interesting and comment-worthy observation: have you lost weight? I know every good haircut should prompt that response, but seriously: Your skin seems clearer and your face seems thinner in these photos. Hmm?

[mms]

Have you ever seen the Comedians of Comedy? In it Zach Galifianakis does a bit where he says something like “Is it wrong that after I ejaculate I always say Seacrest out” When ever I think about it I crack up.

[pkryan]

Melissa, I love it, Im reading your blog daily & never post, but today I must! I think a lil clip thingy to hold the bangs back if they bother you. And the other readers are right, it makes you look thinner also!! Miss you on the April board!

[pagalina]

Why oh why do we girls let our hair run our lives? I keep reminding myself, it's JUST HAIR, It'll GROW BACK. But if it's too short I feel mannish, if it's too long I look bookish. Maybe if I had bangs I could hide my wrinkles like Goldie Hawn. What if I got the best hair cut KNOWN TO MAN? well, damn, it would just grow out. Maybe highlights? 4 weeks later they look like shit. *SIGH*

Nothing like hair to make me feel like I'm 13 again.

[ladylivewire]

About a year ago, I decided to get bangs for the first time in more than 10 years, and my husband was all "No! Don't do it! Bangs are evil!" But I did it anyway and now? He thinks my bangs are totally cute and begs me never to grow them out. So don't trust a man's opinion on your hair! Of course, my husband is definitely not metrosexual at all, so maybe that was the problem.

That said, I think your new cut is totally cute. I could see wanting to lighten it up in the front a little--it is kind of heavy now. I think doing a long bang with some layers would look great on you. Like the photo of Jennifer Aniston someone posted above. That's how I eased myself into bangs.

[RespectRx]

I hate when they give me razor-edge bangs!!! I think your cut makes you look young, and makes your fabulous lips and eyes pop. People kill (and pay big money) to have lips like yours!

[Solange]

I LOVE the new hair. You're so pretty :)

[Meg]

I think the hair looks great -- swingy, fresh, and with great colour, too. I'm terrified of salon colour. And I think I have about 50% the hair you do.

And as far as the eye stuff? I have your solution, and would be happy to send it to you, since they send it to me for free...

[littlepotatoes]

So very cute, do not get bangs, seriously, they are hellish. Then you will have to get them trimmed way too often and who has time for that? You are so pretty, I know nothing us commenters say will change the way you think, but that's what I think :)

[FRECTIS]

I am not even kidding when I say that the hair you had the other day was the same hair as I had two months ago-- even then I should've left it alone from the way it was six months before that. Then I got it cut and now we both look the same. I am probably the only commenter who can say without a doubt, "I feel your hair pain." I hate my haircut too! I have the WORST hair angst and it's legendary. I was once sent home from work in my teens because of a bad haircut sending me for a tailspin. I better stop now, I'm getting riled up ;)

[Kathleen]

Ok, but I like the hair. i really do. Then again, I am thinking of cutting mine all off, too. I mentioned this to my 3rd hour class of tenth graders, and then in the hallway afterwards i heard them whispering about how awful they think it would look.

but you? yours looks good. if it didn't, i wouldn't comment.

[Jessica]

You look adorable! Seriously! You're just not used to it. I LOVE it! It's very kicky!

[Chookooloonks]

Agree with the kicky commenters. It's seriously flattering. You look great!

Karen from Chookooloonks
http://www.chookooloonks.com/chookooloonks