Neck pain.

A few months ago one of our neighbors, one of the lesbians who raised their multi-ethnic grandchildren (or, the only house of diversity on our street), came home with a neck brace. This neck brace showed up a couple of days after we'd seen them heading out for a tropcial themed event of some sort with hawaiian print shirts.

Logan saw her from the kitchen window, and said, "Wow, looks like some sort of 'limbo accident'."

And I, having no thought for my karma, suggested, "Maybe it was a horrific cunnilingus accident."

I'll admit we laughed a lot, but really only because that's a really stupid thing to say.

Fast forward to this week Tuesday, when I went to sleep a normal functioning member of society and woke up as a woman with so much neck pain all I want to do is put a neck brace on me and let the lesbians next door joke that I had a 'fellatio accident'.

I know I deserve the teasing, I earned it with my inappropriate ribbing of my neighbors, but it really hurts and I'm tired of it hurting now.

Comments

[Lin]

Just a little advice from one whose neck flippin' froze 10 years ago or so from doing something so benign as gardening. Don't give into it because the stiller you are the tougher it will be later. I won't go into the BS I went through with my neck because I didn't do the stuff below. So, instead of staying still, do the following. I swear it will help.

If you don't have a heating pad, take a washcloth or small towel damp and microwave it to as hot as you can bear it and wrap around your neck, keeping heat on the area for about 10 minutes. Take a couple of ibuprofen. Then...

1. Stand straight and bend gently forward. Let your arms and your head hang down. Hold this posture for about 30 seconds. Repeat on the hour.

2. Do not try and bend your neck backwards. Instead bend it gently to the left and hold and then repeat the movement to the right. Again, repeat on the hour or so.

3. Bend your neck forward, with your chin as close to your chest as you can get it and rotate your head left to right, slowly. When you think you are as close to looking over either shoulder as possible, gently try and force it a centimetre more.

It's important that you keep it moving and don't let it freeze anymore than it is now.

Good luck, kid.

[Goingape]

Wait, your neighbors probably read your blog, and they know there's no way there was a fellatio accident in your home..unless it's the robot's birthday!

When my neck seized up on me (damn grad school + heavy brief case=neck constantly in knots) I sought out a massage therapy SCHOOL. Such schools allow you to get way more bang for your buck. One school near where we lived in TN had a $10/hour friends and family week, that happened at the same time I hurt my back..sweet merciful heavens, I went every day that week.

I know you live near Detroit. The first one that i found easily online is in Ann Arbor.

http://www.schoolofom.com/contact/clinic.php

Good luck...

[Elise Foreman Carter]

Chiropractor. Seriously. Quick as you can!

[jgsearls]

Hee! You said cunnilingus! That word makes me laugh.

Oh...I hope your neck feels better soon. I've got nothin' on how to make your neck feel better.

[Pioneer Woman]

HeeHeeHee. Cunnilingus. Hee. I'm with jgsearls...it makes me giggle.

I always make comments like that, and they always come back to bite me.

Cunnilingus.

[smartl]

I'll second what Elise said! Chiropractor, post haste. I've been seeing a chiro now for about 8 years (I have a horrifically bad back) and it really, really helps keep the pain away. I usually just go once a month for "maintenance" but if I ever wake up with very bad pain, I always book a chiro appointment and find it helps immensely. Just make sure you find someone you're comfortable with.

[emery]

Funny, I had a semi-tragic limbo accident a few years back. I made the mistake of letting my tiny neices hold the pole. I simply couldn't go down that low, and my knee-cap popped right out of the socket. Everyone in the room said, "Ouch," at the same time.

Okay, so it's nothing like a neck injury, but it hurt pretty bad.

As for your neck pain, I'm going to second Lin's advice. If it's tension and tight muscles, this is a great way to stretch them out. It's similar to the advice my massage therapist gave me. She said to let the warm water from the shower heat your muscles. The holding for 30 seconds part is important.