Oh Pickle Boy.

He did it and he didn't die.

Here he is at mile 21, still smiling.

Of course here he is at mile 24 and he's not so much smiling.

Ouch.

I think maybe that was the mile when he realized he was really going to have to eat the pickle. The $2500 Pickle. You guys either really hate MS and want to see it stopped or you just love pickles.

Yesterday, after Logan soaked in ice for 15 minutes and then napped, we went and looked at houses. There I tried to convince Logan and our very reasonable realtor that my "Gut" says if we bid 50K below asking on our dream house and they actually give it to us for that price, it was meant to be and everything will fall into place.

Logan said it isn't my gut telling me that but rather my obsessive nature. The realtor also didn't help telling all kinds of stories about people who bought a house and hadn't sold theirs and then they lost their jobs, or went blind, or grew a third head all because they didn't find a buyer for their own homes first.

(The house yesterday had two laundry chutes.)(And a sand box.)(22 cabinet doors to my current 9.)

I'd hoped the marathon victory would have made Logan a little loopy and once he saw the house and was feeling happy I could maybe just slip a piece of paper in front of him and say, "Hey, will you sign this? Thanks!"

But no.

Pickle Day is Tuesday. Logan's been on an alcohol and fiber free diet for the last 2 weeks. He deserves a couple of days to eat and drink whatever the hell he wants. But Tuesday night with an audience, he's going to devour that pickle and I'm going to cheer and so are you.

As a tie in to this weekend's post about Free Hugs. I think I outdid myself this weekend. Even moreso than the Dutch hug from a few weeks ago. The drinking numbed the awkwardness of that moment, it was only after the fact looking at the pictures that it was really awkward.

Yesterday though, oh wow. You remember Logan's friend I have a weird crush on? It's all from afar since I'd only met him once as he walked across the street while we were in our car. Yesterday he ran the marathon as well and at the end he was with Logan so we had a chance to chat a little more.

If only all we'd done was chat. I should write a book about all the ways hugs can go wrong. About how you know the hug is about to go wrong and there is not a single thing you can do to stop it so you hurtle toward the awkwardness knowing what's about to happen.

So yesterday we see Logan's friend, Logan says, "Melissa you remember John, right?" I put my hand out to shake his hand and I say, "Of course. Hey! You did it! You made it to the end!"

And instead of shaking my hand, he reaches out and tries to hug me around the shoulder, you know the side hug? Where you're not facing each other but standing next to each other with a little squeeze around the shoulder?

Right that one, that one that's friendly and not at all awkward, the one that I didn't do. I don't know what I was thinking but I turned my body for the regular style hug which was clearly not what was supposed to happen. Why? Why did I do that? It's like I have a program embedded into me and it says, "Okay, I guess we're hugging now right? Must turn body, arms up and around, okay next step squeeze but don't pat the back. Just squeeze with the affection human beings sometimes share."

At least I didn't take out any of his teeth or an eyeball.

Comments

[Nothing But Bonfires]

Ooh, I was visibly cringing as I read the account of the most recent Awkward Hug and tried to imagine it, play by play, in my mind.

I had a rather Awkward one yesterday, actually, wherein I met one of my brother's friends for the first time, and put out my hand to shake his (AS YOU WOULD THINK, right?) We were sitting down, which made it Doubly Awkward, but he CLASPED my hand, pulled me towards him, enveloped me in a hug, and THEN tried to kiss me on the cheek. Except he went for the DOUBLE cheek kiss, whereas I was flustered already and only went for the single, and so not only did we do the head-bobbing thing for a few seconds where you have to decide which side to kiss on, but then I tried to pull away and he kissed the air, so then I went BACK for the second kiss, and it was ME who was kissing the air, and oh, it was a disaster, but at least there was unlimited champagne.

[doahleigh]

My boyfriend's family are big time huggers. Which is fine, I'm okay with hugging. I rarely initiate a hug, but I'll reciprocate when approached.

Yesterday his sister-in-law came in for a hug, and as I went in, I moved my face out of the way. It wasn't until too late I realized she was doing the fake cheek-kiss thing. The one where you touch cheeks and make a kissy noise, but nobody actually kisses. So at the last minute I tried to join in the fake cheek-kiss and sort of ended up knocking the side of my face against hers. Awkwardly. But I made the kiss noise damn it! And then I pulled away and quickly began talking to someone else to avoid acknowledging the weirdness.

[Velma]

Please tell me that someone is dressing up as a pickle tomorrow night so that wildly inappropriate jokes may be made and many ludicrous pictures can be taken?

[jonbeckett]

Great post :) I love the part about the hug that went wrong.

I remember one time when my mother-in-law was leaving our house and went to give me a kiss on the cheek as she left - and (on autopilot) I patted the side of her leg as I did it... Oh My God. Those were the words that went through my mind as I did it... at least it was her side, and not her ass.

[MomVee]

Oh,what I would give for a laundry chute.

[Nichole]

The Free Hugs guy was just on Oprah. And I thought of you.

[Lauren]

See, this is why marathoners are insane: in a post with as much good stuff as this one, the one thing I can't let go of is "WHY DID HE NOT EAT FIBER? SHOULD I NOT BE EATING FIBER? THERE ARE ONLY FIVE DAYS THERE IS NO TIME TO ELIMINATE FIBER."

We are crazy. My hat is off to you for living and having babies with one of us. Seriously.

[Melissa Summers]

I should not be enabling you by answering this but I understand the worry and so I must release you.

Logan cut out fiber because of the a-hem....pooping problems he's endured during his long run.

In fact he shaved 4 minutes off his time simply because he didn't have to stop to poop every 7 miles or so.

It turns out we also have an incredibly fiber rich diet as a family. Pretty much everything we eat on a regular basis is the whole grain variety. I never realized it until Logan couldn't eat anything I bought at the grocery store.

[nicole]

Airkisses...so many ways to go painfully wrong. Our European friends have given up on me, after many, many awkward exchanges. Now, instead of feeling silly for kissing their eyes/noses or bumping foreheads, I only feel frumpy and out of date and slovenly around them. Really, they are the nicest people, they're just way cooler than I am, and we ALL know it.

I still cringe inwardly during greetings and farewells, even though they have clearly had enough of my provincial bumbling and no longer attempt more than a brief wave from a safe distance.

You are not alone.

[zhanae]

Is anyone else as excited as I am about tonight's PickleFest 2006? I am ridiculously looking forward to your entry.

[L.]

I cannot, cannot wait for "The Brining". It's like a whole new holiday, where everything smells vaguely vinegary for a good reason, instead of a suspicious one.

[Adrienne]

I LOVE their signs! SO cute! :) :) :)