Three subjects sort of related.

I worked in Max's class yesterday afternoon. I enjoy watching Max do his thing at school and I like the reassurance that I made the correct decision to drop out of the early childhood education department. Most of the kids in his class are good kids, but he's in the afternoon session where a lot of the kids have working parents, so by the time they get to class to 'learn' they've already used up a lot of their 'good energy' in latch key.

Sometimes when I'm in that class and kids are running wild and the teacher can't seem to keep them quiet enough to concentrate. When she gave them 'free time' yesterday, I could not believe the chaos that took over. Like a room full of puppies on speed reenacting a scene from Lord Of The Flies. The teacher said to me as the children ran around like maniacs, "I just think they need more downtime than we give them. Do we really need to shove the curriculum down their throats all the time? I think we need kindergarten to build a love of learning." Then a child hurled himself onto the floor screaming "WOOOO!"

I agree with the principle she's attempting to run her classroom by actually. I appreciate her sense of fun and the silliness she often uses to engage the kids. It's just that preschool was a lot of fun for Max and there was no screaming, no overwhelming sense of mayhem and chaos whenever there was 'free play'.

I'm not a teacher, so I don't know if it's even possible to keep control of a room full of 5 year olds (some of them overtired I suspect). I'm only going by what I observed in my daughter's kindergarten class and their preschool classes. The kids sure could talk, but kids weren't shrieking or hurling themselves through space.

When thinking about this, I have to put my therapist in my head to remind me that one year of school doesn't make or break a kid. So he has an insane classroom this year and maybe he's not capitalizing on his reading skills, it will all even out.

Wow and all of this was only to show you the paperwork I cut out yesterday while volunteering. There were a bunch of pictures each having a different beginning sound. So, in one pile there was a 'cat', a 'can', a 'cord' and so on. In the F pile there were 'Families'. (Pardon the shitty pictures, I used my spy camera.)

First a nice, straight family.

Then I saw this and had to look at it three times.

I live in Michigan. I know Michigan isn't Utah or Kentucky but it certainly isn't California.

Everyone gets one card from each letter so I quickly created the sets before anyone noticed.

I'm kind of hoping one child in particular gets the 'Two Dads' card in his set, because his mother is a little vocally high strung (I'm internally high strung you see)(less irritating unless you're Logan or you read my website). At the beginning of the month she came to school with a pizza coupon (a reward for the kids turning in a reading log) in her hand, walked up to me incredulously, like I would be a partner in her outrage.

"Did you see this pizza coupon?"

"Uh. Yes?"

"Well....take a look!" [Points to expiration date on coupon.] "This expired six months ago."

"Oh, well I'll bet they'll still honor it since it's for the reading program."

"Well I'll be talking to the teacher about it. I mean! I couldn't believe it when I looked it over and saw this. Why are they giving out expired coupons?"

On the one hand I wanted to punch her in the face because that's a really annoying thing to be irritated about. It's a $2 coupon, so let's just say Pizza Hut didn't honor it, if $2 makes or breaks your pizza purchase, I'd like to think you've got bigger things to worry about than the pizza coupon, like the fact that you're homeless.

On the other hand I wanted to punch her in the face because I'm jealous. I'm jealous that's the biggest thing she has to tie her stomach in knots over. Not that what I tie my stomach in knots over is so much more important or worthwhile but damn if I could spend an evening thinking about a pizza coupon expiration date rather than say the fact that my house is never going to sell. I'd still be annoying, but probably a lot less upset.

So I want her to get the Two Dads Family card sent home with her little boy so I can watch her come to school the next day frothing at the mouth with the card in hand. "Did you see this!?"

If the pizza coupon gave her the head shakes, imagine what a non-traditional family will do. This should be good.

*HOT BUTTON TOPIC EDIT: I clarified in the comments below but my inbox has filled with incredulous people angry that I've implied that kids from working families are less well behaved than those whose parents do not work.

The non academic morning session is made up of kids who's parents happen to work (all 11 of the kids have working parents) and need the extra 4 hours of kindergarten as childcare, so I've inadvertantly implied they are somehow 'difficult kids' because their parents work. However, it's not the fact that their parents work that make them a little hyper when they arrive at their class.

It's the fact that the program is not set up ideally, so that when the children arrive at kindergarten, they've already had to follow the rules for 4 hours. At that point they're tired of sitting still and paying attention and being quiet and doing work. I theorize that's part of the problem in the classroom because when my daughter was in kindergarten the extra non-academic session was after the academic portion and the class was never that crazy.

If Max had to sit still, listen and pay attention for an additional 4 hours, I'm sure he'd have a much more difficult time sitting still and listening at kindergarten. That's hard for any 5-6 year old, working parents or not.

Comments

[Kellie Sullivan-Herring]

thi post is why I love you. I would hope for the same thing.

[jolie]

yay for alternative family definitions!

question, though: what does this mean "Most of the kids in his class are good kids, but he's in the afternoon session where a lot of the kids have working parents, so by the time they get to class to 'learn' they've already used up a lot of their 'good energy' in latch key."

I must be a dummy because I cannot for the life of me interpret that sentence!

[CursingMama]

She reminds me of the mindblowing stupidity of spoiled angst filled teenagers -

Daddy got me the blue BMW for passing the English test when I wanted the red one. He's so mean!

[m.]

Awesome spy camera pix! Watch out for KGB agents trying to slip you Polonium 210. ;P

Way to go Max's School for getting with the program...here in Mass. where we actually have gay marriage and the world has not spun off its axis, there is still a small but irate parent group raging against depictions of "other" families in schools. The book "King & King" in particular set off a firestorm. And for what? As one local columnist put it, whether one thinks there "should" be gay families or not, they ALREADY EXIST and kids with 2 moms or dads must not be (further) marginalized. OK, rant over -- keep us posted on any fallout! :)

[Stacey]

Hmmm...I've got a few people that I would like to pass those cards along to, just to see the large vein bulging in their forehead!! Too funny!

[DanielN]

Now you'll have to let us know if it works.

When I was in high school back in the early '80s, the dark ages of computers, I spent a semester working in the counselors office. At some point during the year the counselors would administer a multiple choice test to the entire senior class. The purpose of the test was to divine the optimal future career for each student, or at least give them a few job options for which they might be psychologically suited.

So my job was to enter all the answers from these tests into the computer and print out reports for each student. I discovered, by complete accident, that the program was hackable, and then the fun began. I started putting in jobs like "professional greaser" and "Assistant Sewage Technician." I mainly did it to friends of mine, I thought that I was being quite devious and really, I seriously cracked myself up. But unfortunately I wasn't fooling anyone. My friend Jim told me that he and Doug were sitting in class looking over their reports when they heard a dude in the front say "mine says professional greaser!?" they looked at each other and both said "Dan." Evidently I had a reputation.

[Melissa Summers]

Sorry....kids with working parents have the option of a 'full day' program. The morning is more like latch key, not academic.

My theory is that the kids use up their energy/ability to listen and sit patiently and quietly in the morning so that by the time they get to the academic portion of their day they're ready to run wild.

And so they do....and are insane. And most of them are good kids, I just think they're tired of being 'good' by the time the afternoon rolls around.

[NTE]

"Like a room full of puppies on speed reenacting a scene from Lord Of The Flies." LOL. Sometimes, when you're herding 5-year-olds, that's exactly what it seems like. I think you & the teacher are right, that kids need more downtime than current curriculum crazy classrooms can provide (Wow, sorry about that long alliteration there). But, if they're screaming and flopping around, perhaps that's a bit too loose. Every teacher does have a different classroom management style, though, so if it's working..?

[Melissa Summers]

I don't know...I guess it's working.

I don't think Max has much to learn in Kindergarten really. He reads and is rapidly learning to write and spell 3 and 4 letter words. So I'm not concerned about that.

I am concerned about the chaos though, I think it's way too out of control for a group of 5 and 6 year olds. I saw at least 3 injuries and 2 shoving matches yesterday.

But like I said, one year of 'not my ideal' isn't going to kill him.

He's a good kid and I do a LOT of talking after the class about the kids who are hitting and not listening. He thinks they're as crazy as I do.

[Barrett]

I like how they put the skirt on the butchy one and the pants on the femme.

[Melissa Summers]

Shit! I forgot I was going to say "And this one has two daddies. And this family has a Daddy who likes to dress like a woman."

Blogging is hazardous the editing process.

[Kim E]

My kids go to a school where a good portion of the parents are bored Dr's wives who have nothing better to do all day than be Super Moms and get their panties in a wad over stupid stuff like you described. I love your mischevious sense of humour and I wish I was offered the opportunity to plant such 'scandalous' material in my child's classroom as well ;)

[bob]

maybe the kids just need to go out to the playground and burn off some energy.

back in the dark ages when our kids were in the after-school program (we both worked and the school would keep them until 6:00 PM - this was grade school, not kindergarten) they would get a play break outside and then come in for homework/structured time.

[Amanda]

As a first time commenter I have to say "Like a room full of puppies on speed reenacting a scene from Lord Of The Flies" cracked me up, primarily due to the fact that I am currently teaching Lord of the Flies to my 10th grade English classes.
As a teacher I cannot imagine what it is like in kindergarten, as it is if I give "free time" I have to preface it with what, exactly, they are allowed to do with that time...I know that sort of defeats the purpose but come on, if Max's class had two injuries can you imagine what would happen with 200 lb football players?

[Mytiroo]

I looked at those cards the first time and thought what on earth is she on about and then read the text again and then again and then ahhh . . .

[Abbey]

Ouch! Pretty harsh on Kentucky! We have gay couples there...more than you'd think.

Course, I live in California now near San Francisco...so I'm pretty open to the whole thing...doesn't really phase me. Didn't really when I was in Kentucky either. BUT! A lot of the people of KY are pretty anti-homosexual...I'll give ya that.

[Melissa Summers]

Yes, it's true rarely are there any absolutes in life. But "I know Michigan isn't Utah or Kentucky, where a surprising majority of people are homophobic and/or anti-homosexuality, but it certainly isn't California" was a bit of a mouth full.

I figure you guys are real smart and know that sometimes generalizing is a necessity.

[superblondgirl]

"Like a room full of puppies on speed reenacting a scene from Lord Of The Flies."
This made me snort with laughter. What an image - it's exactly what my son's preschool looks like on the last day of a rainy week.

[Jessica]

I had to look at the two-mom pic THREE times. My God -- the second mom looks so much like a man that I had to look at her shoes for confirmation that she's a woman. Hell -- maybe that picture actually symbolizes a cross-dressing dad and a mom and we haven't even gotten to the lesbian family yet!

Definitely keep us posted about pizza coupon lady -- geezus -- I wonder what would happen to her if she had a TRUE crisis!

[Jessica]

Well just look how clever and quick I am! Now that I've read through the comments I realize I'm OLD and SLOW! I heart you, by the way, and I'm sooooo glad you stuck around through the great troll tragedy of 2006. Fuckers.

[veg4me]

As the mom of a kindergartener (full day) and a third grader, I'd have the highest blood pressure in the world if I let every expired coupon throw me into a tailspin.

My 5 year old was selected as a Student of Distinction this last quarter.

She received a coupon for 6 free chicken nuggets from Wendy's.

Yeah, um. We're vegetarians.

Did I go in and complain? Heck no. Her reward was being recognized for good behavior, not getting free food.

[Rita Arens]

They have the nonacademic part first? That does seem backwards, though I'm sure the administrators probably have some "no funding" explanation for it.

Listen to your inner therapist. You and Logan are what will make the biggest difference in your child's education. The genes that you passed on, the study and time-management skills you teach and the encouragement you offer. Seriously - the evidence points to that.

[kate]

Take heart, Melissa. Maybe crazy coupon mom is so overwhelmed and her life is in such disarray that her coping mechanisms have been obliterated (if she had them at all). And, the only thing she can do to pull together some semblance of sanity is to fly off the handle about her kid's pizza coupon. I'm just saying.
But, as my dear friend (and teacher) always says, "She's crazy. And you can't argue with crazy."

[Lisa S (aka Stolidoli)]

Actually, I think the photo of the two dads looks more like a man and a woman because the guy in the sweater looks about how I do when I am wearing sweats all day. I thought the two mom photo was more obvious, unlike one of your other commenters. So who knows? I just hope she notices. ;)