"In life's wilderness, choked by the weeds of error - bloom of beauty: truth." seemed to confuse him.

Max: "Mom, what is 'Truth'?"

Me: "Well......Max.......how long do you have?"

****

I waited to post about the Today Show thing because I knew once I did it I'd be just jabbering and jabbering about it. I thought if I left it until the Friday before I left then I wouldn't talk about it and I could be almost as cool as Heather who doesn't mention her appearances until they air or end up in print. God love her.

The Today Show doesn't care about my loose lipped tendencies though, so they cancelled my Tuesday appearance and have moved me to 1/26.....9 days later than I'd planned. Also, because I want Matt and I to be close when we meet, it's day 32 of my "cycle" which means I'll be requiring "supplies" in New York and The Today show doesn't care but I didn't want to have my period while I was in the city.

If I took this issue directly to Ann Curry she would make sure I arrived on day 20 of my cycle. Because I can feel it, she cares about my cycle and my enjoyment of this experience. Natalie Morales would also care.

***

Our yearly main drain clear out is rapidly approaching, the laundry tub was full tonight after a load and that's the first sign of impending doom. This is about a month earlier than usual. I love medication because it still sucks to spend that money, especially after we lost a week of pay with the rather abrupt way Logan's old place of employment wanted him to depart. (48 hours after he gave notice.)

Spending the money still isn't ideal (I'd rather be throwing money into the final house sale prep) but I just don't feel that impending doom I've felt when things went wrong in the past.

Someone emailed me after my last post about medication and climbing out of maintenance mode, suggesting I was sounding like a "Stepford Wife".

And you know, I guess it sounds that way and maybe it is. If it means I don't have to spend 3 days sobbing about my plumbing when things go wrong? Well then, color me 'Robotic'.

Comments

[Goingape]

Well, Ann Curry prefers Stepford Wives, too. Oh well, you're in good company with all us other robots. Pass the prozac!

[i(heart)Generica]

"Stepford Wife?"...I guess she takes for granted that she doesn't spend 3 days crying when her plumbing goes out....I'd rather be a robot with meds than without.

[Karen]

I used to think that major highs and lows were a sign of being alive. Now I will take robotic, thank you, if ever I can achieve that state.

[Wordygirl]

Color me robotic too. you go, girl!

[superblondgirl]

Hey, you married a robot, why not join him? Without my medication I may be more interesting, but with it I'm a better person. If that makes me robotic, so be it - I'd rather be a functioning human robot than the monster I used to be.

[Jessica]

Don't worry about what random people tell you about medication. Those of us that have read you for years and love you for you don't give two shits about what those people think.

And, I echo what the others have said -- I'd rather be a medicated stepford wife than curled up in the fetal position for three days at a time. Been there, sucks big huge weenies.

We love you Melissa!

[ETB]

Damn, I was going to have a breakfast cocktail in honor of your appearance. Now I'll have to drink to drown my sorrow.

Thanks a lot, Today Show.

[maiareads]

Robotic beats severe depression any day and anyone who has BTDT will agree. I do.

[ozma]

Who do they think they are? That Today Show! Nine whole days!

So glad you don't have the feeling of doom! Lack of doom is a good thing. I'm robotic at the moment, albeit an automaton with a very defective program. I think the robotic/fake thing is necessary when you are UNmedicated. As I currently am. My thousand yard gaze and simulated perkiness to avoid seeming nuts? I can't imagine anything I took could make me more robotic than I've been recently.

[Anne]

Melissa, I admire the decision you've made.
I've been off and on medication for a few years and have just made the decision to go back on, hopefully at the very low dose which was fine for a year. It's a really hard decision, not least because I haven't had kids yet and want to, and am not allowed to take the medication while pregnant probably. And I know this kind of decision is one that only you can make because only you know how you feel. So it's irrelevant what anyone, especially anyone who is not close to you, thinks. Bravo and thank you for such a funny, heartwarming and real blog.

[Dawn]

I've already set my Tivo* for the 26th. I can't wait to see you on the tele! The Today Show?.....that's big gig! You go Girl.

Dawn

[LB]

I do not get that Stepford Wife thing at all. Robots do not need meds. Pharmaceuticals only work on carbon based life forms. That emailer contradicted him/herself. A pill will not turn a human into a robot.

It's really such a cheap comment. The women in Stepford were MURDERED. The original movie was scary as hell and all the parody and jokes and that awful remake all go to diminish the importance of it's orginal message and it pisses me off.

Meds do not make you into a robot! sheesh.

I'll Tivo you,my hubby and I are packing his supplies (Celexa and Klonopin) and taking the kids to FLA. I thought I'd need my " supplies" there too,(more often than not I need them when I travel or on major holidays) but now in the throes of shortening perimenopausal cycles, looks like I need my supplies earlier this month. As much as I love the idea of not having my period in Florida next week, I don't like getting it after 25 days.

[angela marie]

Make sure that you get a special word or sign to us secretly whilst on the Today Show. Something no one else will notice. For instance:

Matt: "So Melissa, what made you think that women would identify with you?"

You: "Well Matt, I've found that many women experience the same feelings, problems, and successes. I've just found a way to share those experiences."

Matt: "And your readers feel comfortable sharing with you, just as you share with them?"

You: "STEPFORD WIVES!!"

Something like that.

[jenn]

Raising my hand to say I am a great example of better living through chemistry, and I couldn't have said it better than Jessica... "Better a medicated stepford wife than curled up in the fetal position for three days at a time." Oh my, I have so been there, and it does indeed suck enormous donkey weenies.

And I can't wait to see what kind of hackles you raise on the Today Show. If I weren't pregnant, I'd be enjoying a double shot of Bailey's in my coffee that morning and raising my mug to you.

[Jen_S]

Haven't commented in an age but wanted to say I'm thrilled about your impending appearance and can't wait to watch. Congrats!

[babs]

Why do some people think it's such an accomplishment to NOT be on medication? UGH. If your blog's any indication, your mood is totally different now... and you seem so much happier! (long-time lurker, first-time commenter)

btw, are there any Logan clones down in Texas? I'd like one, please. :)

[Jack's Raging Mommy]

I simply tell people that if it weren't for medication I'd be dead. That and the look on my face generally shuts them up.

[KYouell]

I'm sorry, I haven't been-there-done-that with meds, but I am not so clueless as to think I should be telling you whether or not *you* should be on meds. The balls of some people (and I do not mean "artistic integrity" if you happened to catch the Golden Globes).

I love your blog and the way you seem to know yourself. My husband says that I'm a depression case and that I get off on it; I think I'm a generally happy person who likes to watch movies that make her cry and is susceptible to panicking. Whatever! I get through my day, my son is thriving and the laundry is getting done. What more do these people who think they are normal want? Sheesh. I'm pregnant again and think I'm doing pretty damn well.

BTW, no Tivo here so I am setting my alarm to get up and watch the Today Show. Thanks for the scheduling update.

[Jaycee]

Screw the critics--you do what you have to do! Can't wait to see you on 'Today'--might you be seeing Alice when you are out that way? Have fun!

[flailingmyarms]

I was totally pumped when I read on BB that you're appearing on TV. Knock 'em dead.

[Creative-Type Dad]

Great- now I have reset the DVR. I hope The Today Show is happy...

[roaringmommy]

Can't wait until the 26th!

Remember every detail of Matt so you can tell us--I want to know if he's really that cute in real life.

[mama2bna]

I love that.
You are a failure for not having special panties of persuasion and you're a failure for having meds.
Damn, guess you better hang it up, grab a copy of The Wall and go sit in granny drawers while you drool through Logan's inevitable affair.
Excuse me while I hork on that copy of Cosmo.

[IzzyMom]

Someone actually suggested that you sounded like a Stepford Wife? That's asinine.

I'll set the DVR for your TV appearance but I want you to know this is going to involve sacrificing one of my many unwatched episodes of Judging Amy. Stop that snickering...