More Pressing Matters

Blah blah blah.

Today Show.

Sexist.

Liars.

Misogyny.

Janet Taylor.

Healthy Ways!

Most Importantly:

Logan and I went shopping immediately after I heard about the Today Show. And, ironically, I sweat like a woman being called a babysitter on national television. I have a very hard time buying new things for myself, remember 2004 when my theme was Debt No More?  Those lessons have stuck with me and it's very difficult for me to buy things for myself.

Logan and I stood in the middle of Norstrom and I tried to will myself to touch the clothes. 'Just touch them. Touching them won't make you poor again.'

Finally I told Logan we had to get out of the mall. Now. I can't take it.

Maggie emailed me a lovely v neck cashmere sweater from Ann Taylor. So, I went and bought it (half off!).

I thought I'd wear a pair of black pants I already owned, but Maggie complimented my legs so I decided to go for a skirt. We decided a chocolate brown would be lovely. Seems easy enough, but the world is not ready for a chocolate brown skirt. Actually the world isn't ready but very classic ladies who shop at Talbot's are. The only chocolate brown skirt I could find was there and it was $130.

I prepared myself to go buy it because I was running out of time and even though spending $130 on a skirt felt like dying and even though buying a skirt at Talbot's made me feel as though I'd finally become Laura Bush, I was going to do it.

But then I had a dream (more exciting dreams!) and remembered a skirt I'd bought years ago at Nordstrom Rack for $3.97. I hadn't worn it because I never wear skirts. I tried it on and it looked pretty good with the sweater and would save me $130 if I wore it. The only problem was it was too big (I lost weight!) and I had a day to get it altered. If I'd worn a skirt around my ankles on The Today Show, it may have actually worked out better.

"Melissa, what does that skirt around your ankles represent to you?"

We'll never know though, since the piece was moved and so I had the skirt altered.

Maggie and I then concentrated on shoes. Her opinion was this, "Pumps say, 'I'm just like you. I'm sensible and we can have a drink and be coherent.' Boots say, 'I'm your fun friend! This is all a little silly. Let's go have a cosmo.'"

So I went with the boots and my goodness you guys were happy with that choice. I have rarely been called sexy, I just don't exude sexuality. I exude awkwardness.

But immediately after the segment my brother called to congratulate me, but also to tell me that the guys at the firehouse thought I looked 'hot'. (?) Another friend emailed and said her husband was mesmerized by the boots (her husband happens to be this guy of the Not-So-Secret-Crush) during the interview. Then another email from a friend came in saying he mostly heard what I was saying but was sort of distracted by the boots.

Jesus Christ, who knew boots were so powerful. If only I'd worn boots during high school, maybe I would have had my first kiss before I was 18. These are the boots. (Although I didn't pay that much. Are you crazy?)

Finally a lot of you have asked about the necklace. When discussing with Maggie what I would wear I said, "I definitely want to be wearing the necklace." The necklace has become a talisman of sorts for me. It constantly reminds me that I am worthy. This sounds trite and a little melodramatic, but if you lived in my head you would understand how important that message is to me. Also if you lived in my head it would be really creepy. I wrote about deciding to buy my necklace here.

The necklace is from Andrea at Superherodesigns, I have earth but they're all lovely. Andrea just had a (a very cute) SuperBaby and is on maternity leave, but before posting this I emailed her and she said she's taking special orders at this time. You can order here.

Given the feedback from my outfit on the show, I've decided to wear nothing but my Superhero necklace and my boots for the rest of 2007. I'll wear a coat too, but only when I'm outside.

Comments

[Kimberly]

With an outfit like that, I'd say you can go ahead and burn the ManSaving Panties. Logan might want to invest in some preemptive underwear, though.

[Lin]

You did look terrific but, more importantly, inspite of NBC's efforts at sabotage, you sounded terrific, too.

Very simply, there are just too many people taking themselves too flippin' seriously. Miz Viera and the tiresome 'doctor' are two of them. Their inability to understand the joy of parenting and the joy of friendship and the fun of having a drink has rendered them ridiculous, in my eyes.

Keep on embracing your 'job.' Job, sheesh.

[katiebe]

Yeah, boots are WAY sex-ay.

In college (after many drinks, I'm sure), my roommate and I discussed the different kinds of boots. We, of course, started with the thigh-high prostitute boots and deemed those "F#@& me boots". The just below the knee ones are "make out with me boots" and the few inches above the knee, "blowjob boots".

Anyway, I'm so sorry that you were misled by the Today Show. You were excellent on tv and you've got a lot of support, but the best part is that YOU know you are right. And that's all you can ask for.

[Meganann]

When I saw you I thought "WOW, pictures don't do her justice." It was the whole deal--you dressed perfectly. Your skirt was just the right length for sitting down and showing a lil' bit of knee and your haircut was great a(nd now I want one), and the hair color brought out the colors in your face. You are so expressive, you always post the "weird" looks on flicker, but you had so many lovely looks on the show, even when you are mad and shocked you are pretty. The thing that set you apart from the other two was the fact that you looked amazing but not at all corporate. MV and Janet looked like someone had "coordinated" their outfits based on demographics, and you looked real and hot and touchable.

I can only HOPE I look that good when I go for a job interview tomorrow!

P.S. If I get the job, I am totally buying those boots!

[bmoremel]

i worked in pr for many years and a number of my clients had similar experiences with the today show. it's a ratings game and sadly the only thing their viewers want is controversy.

you came out of it MUCH better than others have and as a bonus listen to how great you sound about yourself! screw them and their mindless viewers- you've proven yourself to be a sexy, smart, strong woman. now go have a momtini!

[superblondgirl]

That's right, you don't need man-saving panties anymore! Just wear the boots and the necklace and you'll have Logan on his knees. The boots really were killer. I need me some stompin' fuck-me boots like those. (I think I need better legs first, though).

[mamaloo, the doula]

However tentative your statements, it's really wonderful to hear you talking about yourself and yur image in such positive terms. I know your self image is something that has been difficult to deal with, but I think that you've made a lot of great progress. Regardless of the stupidity that NBC exhibited in the Today Show segment, participating has been an important milestone for you. Congratulations!

[slouching mom]

Yeah, but. I hope you don't go down that road of, "At least I looked good." Because you did look good. But I think far more important was that you were powerful in your words, and yes, even in your gestures. When you looked down at the end of the segment (the half-suppressed eye roll), you expressed exactly what you felt, and in such an elegant and mature way. In not talking, you spoke volumes. That was kick-ass.

[paulacampana]

I have wanted to buy a Superhero necklace since I saw yours but just never got around to it. Well, I just ordered one AND a bracelet. I guess it will be my Valentine's present from me! I was going between joy and earth but picked earth because joy was a little to joyful. I thought that if I order joy, I would be more joyous but ultimately, I was afraid. So there it is...I can't wait to get them. I hope they come soon!

I posted a message to you on Flickr but I think you did great and screw everyone else. I also loved the boots.

[ErikaMSN]

I just emailed my dh and told him I want the Seaglass superhero for my bday.

And I think I need to get me some boots.

I just read the birthday/lesbian post, and I'm so with you on all of it. Roles are reversed in my house--I'm the one w/ the ft job (although luckily I'm not surrounded by 20-somethings in Prada, etc., but I am surrounded by 20-something med students and residents), and he's the sahd and writer. But still, it's so easy to do the "I can't start running, b/c where will the time come from? Can I really ask him to stay w/ our daughter even more than he does so I can do something for myself? Can I really spend $100+ on boots, or new clogs, or WHATEVER just b/c I don't want to look frumpy in front of the students and drs I work with? That's money that could be spent on the college fund!

Etc., etc., ad nauseum. I'm going to try to do better. And I'm glad that you are, b/c you can be an example to me!

[Tracey B.]

And now look at all of the cool business you're sending to the woman who makes the jewelry. So, even if they tried to twist stuff around, something really good came out of it! Seriously, you did look nice (I had to go back and see). I am so jealous, cuz I would have never pulled an outfit together like that. WTG.

Just think of all of the conversations that have begun over this one segment. Pretty astounding, when you think about it...

[AnneM]

I signed up for an account just to finally lend some support after reading for so long! I think you did a fabulous job, loved the look-down-eye-roll-I-want-to-punch-you face and generally held on to your cool when you likely wanted to rant like a banshee. I have been in contact with Andrea about her lovely jewelry and am buying one for myself and one for a friend's birthday. So see what type of good you're doing all around? :D

[Daren]

I thought you were awesome on the show. Too bad they had to lie to get you there, but at least you looked really great while you were there.

Hopefully, people with brains understood what you were trying to say. If not, no drinks for them!

[Andrea]

I loved the boots but I cannot imagine those would work for me because I can never find any that fit my ridiculous calves (muscle with a nice extra layer of fat) and small feet!

You looked lovely, and you sounded intelligent and thoughtful with a hint of humor. I hope when I have young children (a baby hopefully within the next year and a half) that I will find other mothers who can enjoy a momtini!

[PractiGal]

I just watched the video -- you look great & you did great up against those two. Of course that was very unfair and sleazy of them, teaming up against you, under false pretense. Shame on them.

There you go, you just got yourself another fan here.

[anne nahm]

Thanks for that last image - now I can't seem to get Britney Spears-Paris-Lohan out of my head.

And somehow, from there, the image of that kid who has his tongue frozen to the flagpole.

And the fear of what would happen if Hollywood was located in a wintertime Michigan.

[An Iowa Mom]

When you first appeared on my TV screen I noticed the necklace. Not only is it beautiful, I have been reading you for awhile so I knew the significance behind it. Then, my eyes were drawn to the boots! They were great ... PERFECT! I want the damn boots .. but I just can't justify paying that much for them when the only place I ever go is Target!!! LOL! Then, again, why SHOULDN'T I wear them to Target ... I'll have to think about it. Maybe I'll get them ... I deserve it, right? LOL!

You looked great, you sounded great ... you WERE great as you represented a huge majority of mothers!!

Thank you!

[Mrs. Why]

You totally looked great. My biggest lament about living in Hawaii is that sexy boots are not an option, it's just too hot here. Flip flops just aren't the same.

I got a Superhero necklace for Christmas after your purchse. I love the length, it's just right. We're going to need a Superhero Flickr group for sure.

[Laura Scarborough]

just stopping by to say hello.
i found you for the first time on today and liked how you represented...yes, the boots were hot and the necklace link has been forwarded to my darling husband for a birthday gift hint.
don't let the clucking hens in the henhouse get you down. most of us got the point of the piece. nice to find your blog.

[pixie sticks]

I got the superhero Pyrex necklace as an anniversary gift and it really does make me feel powerful. I'd be afraid to combine it with boots. Someone might get hurt.

[Lisa]

I have been hinting to my husband that I want a superhero necklace for months. Have even sent him the link so all he has to do is order it...still waiting. As soon as I saw you on the screen last Friday I pointed out your necklace to him told him that is what I had been asking for. I guess I won't hold my breath, might have to be a birthday present for me, from me.

Absolutely loved the boots too. I would love to be able to wear something like that, but I've been cursed with some monsterously muscled calves that boots don't fit over ~ ever, even back in high school when I was skinny.

[mamaloo, the doula]

I know you're trying to let it go, but a new idea occured to me about what was talked about during your segment when the robot squawked about you damaging your kids by the bad example: how do your kids even know what's in you glass? Do the theoretical children of the theoretical momtini mums even have a cultural understanding of what alcohol is?

I wrote about it on my blog: http://momcast.blogspot.com/2007/01/more-on-media-created-momtini.html

(Here's hoping I can figure out the security thing so my post goes up - my monitor is dying a slow, dimming death making it nearly impossible to read the security code, blah!)

[MinervaJane]

Your boots _were_ sexy.

And I have to say that your point re the family bbq is a very good one. I was appalled by that interview, frankly. But you handled yourself so well.

[Susan]

On I love this post. Especially the part about how you had that skirt in your closet all along.

That makes me so very happy.

[Deb]

I am so happy for you b/c THIS is the silver lining to it all......

You sound so confident and happy and sure of your choices.

The necklace is WORKING!

[malia]

Melissa,
I found you via BlondeMomBlog and Suburban Turmoil. Just wanted to say a hearty "Amen!" to everything you've said here about the drinking during playdates thing. I wish you didn't have to endure what you did on the Today show. It does, however, look like your experience has prompted a whole lot of dialogue. I never even knew of such a "trend" before this and was quite appalled at how it was portrayed in the news article on MSNBC and on the Today show. Thank you for sharing all your experiences with your readers.

Think I'll put that necklace on my wish list!

[Nichole]

The boots were hot, and I'm so glad people are telling you so. I'm off to (maybe) buy myself a Superhero necklace now. I have a really hard time buying stuff for myself, too. So we'll see.

[ShelFish'sDad]

Only the necklace and those boots!?
Silly girl!
ahhh...let the daydreaming begin.

[letajoy]

You did look awesome. The boots were kick ass! And I knew it was the SuperHero necklace, I was all "Look, honey! She's wearing the SuperHero necklace!" and he was all "Did you see those boots?"

[Kimberly]

You were great! I had to dig up the video just to see your outfit (which was perfect - hot mommy w/o trying too hard). :-)

Like others have said, you were articulate and unflappable. From your description, I thought they had gotten the better of you but you totally held your own. Way to go, Melissa!

[NicoleP]

I was totally impressed by the boots. They were pretty rockin'! You looked totally glam. It was funny because I too instantly though "Oh! The SuperHero necklace!" and it made me realize that I NEED one. So, Earth or Joy are on my wishlist for Valentine's Day.

Brava to you Ms. Melissa. I don't have any children, but seeing a mother like you makes me believe that I can do it. And drink... at the same time. Screw healthy ways!

[OneSmartCookie]

I finally decided to comment, because I just couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore.

I don't have kids.

I had never read your blog until yesterday.

I watch the Today show every morning.

I think you're fantastic. And beautiful. And anyone with half a brain could see that while watching the interview. Doctor lady? Sucked.

So as someone who was completely unbiased, please know that you came across as such a well spoken, funny, and intelligent person. When you said something about wanting to sell your kids on eBay, I laughed so hard that I spit my coffee out.

I love your spirit and I will think of you next time I have a lovely lovely alcoholic beverage (which will hopefully be soon). Cheers!

[DenverDad]

Yeah, you'll probably want to make sure the coat is handy, because that outfit you're describing sounds a little chilly. Brave, but chilly.

[i(heart)Generica]

Your necklace is kind of like Linda Carter's bulletproof bracelets in Wonder Woman, you can use it against evil. You rocked the boots by the way.....

[Kelly]

For the feminist in me, I have to say I will long remember your ability to remain cool and calmly state your points. Very well done! Way to go! Intelligence in the face of narrow-mindedness rules.

Sigh. I just wish I could not think of the boots. It hurts a little bit in my feminist-head. As in, notice how everyone had to comment on Hillary Clinton's hair, or Nancy Pelosi's suit, or even Condi Rice's boots? The things we say are so secondary. Yet. Yet! How can we not still love the clothes? and the hair? and such?

how do we really change, if we can't help it?

[Kymba]

Oh my god. Drinks at playdates AND a flasher in training? Sweet baby Jesus, I wished you lived in California. I would so be your groupie.

My thought 30 seconds into that segment was that you were set up. And you went on to say things of substance, intelligently. An excellent spokesperson for us lush parents!

[Heather]

I really liked the outfit also and am trying to recreate it myself.

[sheameister]

Did you happen to catch the show this morning? They had a snippet about a mother who recently gave birth to a 14 pound baby, to which Meredith replied, "WHAT did she EAT during her pregnancy?!?!" She was met with an awkward, stunned silence. *shudder* The whole situation gave me the heebie jeebies. Good grief is that woman an idiot.

[Melissa Note: A friend also called to tell me they had a wine tasting....right before an interview with that girl who's just out of rehab. Classy! And a sip of wine AT WORK!!!! FOR SHAME MEREDITH!!! FOR SHAME!!!! Oh but there were penises around. So it's cool.]

[onbeelay]

:) Just to let your readers know Macy's is having a huge ol boot sale 70% off when I was there yesterday. Just saying.

2nd thing I'm saying is I have those boots in black and they've always made me feel powerful! I wear em with jeans mostly but I don't have your lovely legs, YKWIM?

[Shellybzla]

And now, even though I was never really a fan, I can't stand to watch Meredith.

[Vicki]

I'm posting about your crazy NBC fiasco on next week. I can't quit thinking about it.
I watched the video and felt for you. Honestly felt your pain! LOL Ohhhh it just makes me mad!

[Star Shine]

Melissa,

You write with such a wonderful sense of humor! I loved the story of how you decided to buy your necklace. And when I clicked to the the photo of it, I thought it was really cute how Logan gave you little smooches!

Thank you for writing with such honesty. It's touching.

[Ash]

I happened to catch a few minutes here and there this morning of the Today show. Apparently if you are Miss America, and admit that you are an alcoholic, its okay to discuss alcohol like an adult...(if not actually drink it). I don't think they even gave you that much!
Oh, and the wine tasting. Classy, really. They really should have put a disclaimer...only drink wine in the presence of a penis! THOUGH, i think Meredith only pretended to sip. She had that "hand caught in the cookie jar" look on her face, and i am sure it was from her playing back the babysitter convo in her head. I think you said something to the effect of, Why would a sitter drink at work? My husband doesnt drink at work....WHO drinks at work?! Yeah, i think as soon as the first glass was poured, thats exactly what was going through her mind!

[Melissa Note: My friend called to tell me and I started screaming: "AT WORK MEREDITH!!!???? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!? I wish Club Mom would invite me back for a focus group. Oh they'd love that.]

[kristin madpony]

The best part of the Today show this morning:

Prior to the wine tasting, they had a segment featuring "cool" clothes for pre-teen girls, complete with a little girl fashion show. As they went to commercial, kids standing next to her, Meredith did a lead-in for the wine tasting segment. Before the camera cut away, she did manage to squeeze in a warning to the girls that this wine tasting feature was NOT for them!!!

So, to be clear, you may not drink at home in front of your own children, because that is bad parenting. Meredith, however, may drink at work in front of other people's children, because that's good journalism!

[Emily Peterson]

Sorry the Show misled you.I think you did awesome and just remember.....you were the olny one wearing Fuck me boots,therefore the only one being lusted after.I mean...who wants a Robot?

[MNF]

Hi

Love the blog.

I just wanted to post to let you know the host was right. In Europe this would be a non event! I am in Ireland and I can't believe that women having a glass of wine or a beer in the afternoon could be described as a "Phenomenon" - and actually warranted a segment on the show to "discuss" it. I think a lot of this stems from the attitude to drink in America. (Not saying the drinking culture in Ireland is right!)

You are completely right about the men thing; it’s a total double standard.

Anyway you came across very well on the video.

M

[Cori]

Oh Great Melissa, now Meredith can do a show on Naked Moms Drinking Cocktails at Playdates. Good one! :)

[ditzymoi]

I just wanted to say... I saw you on the Today Show and couldnt believe they were even making an issue of the whole thing, and Im sorry you were set up like that.

Its sad that you cant trust people in a position of power ...and sadder yet that someone like Meridith (whom I had a lot more respect for before this) couldn't or more importantly DIDN'T do a little more thinking about the more serious issues involved here. Im just going to choose the one topic Im mostly pissed off about at this point.

Mom Bashing.

Women taking the opportunity to belittle, judge and criticize, and ridicule other moms ...(although having the penis around to control me really does my head in too) Why do women feel the need to tear and snipe at each other this way? What gives them the right to judge? Why be cruel, nasty and judgmental? Is it a misguided sense of self importance? A desire to make your own short comings seem shorter?

I think ill just don my boots and grab my penis ...errr i mean husband, and pour us a glass or two or three of wine and settle down around the fire and teach my kids something called RESPECT and LIMITS and oh yahhhh EMPATHY!

You Rock! and you looked pretty :) cute necklace !