My final post about this stupid thing.

When Alicia Ybarbo from The Today Show contacted me about the Cosmopolitan Mommies piece in the New York Times she told me the show was interested in doing a piece about this supposed 'trend'. We talked at length about my own playgroup, about the response to the piece and about how it isn't a 'new trend' it's something women have been doing since the 60's.

In the beginning they wanted to come and film my playgroup for the piece. Since our kids are now all in school full time, we don't have a weekly playgroup anymore so this was problematic. I suggested a more 'happy hour' gathering where we'd meet after school and our husband's would swing by after work for our usual family pizza night. Alicia said the mixing of dads would 'taint' the story (Read: "Make the subject more palatable because men keep their women in line and they have an auxilary liver in their penises.") So I told Alicia it just wasn't going to work out. My friends are busy with young kids and active schedules, so sorry.

After seeing how they twisted 3 hours of filming into a wine bottle orgy when those women (one who's commented here) had a glass each, except for her because she'd found out she was pregnant. How they chose quotes which made it sound as if the author believes sober mothers are not very good mothers. With the way my mouth goes and goes and goes, they could easily have pulled a very unpleasant quote from 3 hours of my yapping. Not only that, if my friends were embarassed by their portrayal I would be about 1000 times more angry at this point.

A month or two later Alicia contacted me again. She said she had loved what I had to say on the topic and they'd like me to come to New York City to be on the show. At that point I wet my pants. I wet my pants not because I was so excited to go on television but because I knew this was an opportunity I could not refuse. Even though I hate talking on the phone and am far better in writing than I am in person. Even though I would like to weight 20 pounds less to appear on television. I knew that, for me personally this would be a huge step toward being the person I want to be.

Alicia said it would be a live segment in the studio and there would be a psychologist, Dr Janet Taylor, there with me. Here is where the lies begin and this is a huge part of why I am so angry about the experience and am using this platform I have to explain it.

The psychologist is 'on board' with the whole thing. She's a mother herself and understands. She's just there to set limits and to explain what may be 'a problem'. Which makes a lot of sense to me. Once we define problem drinking and how to know when you might be crossing over into that realm, we can have a light hearted conversation about moms getting together to be social while their children play. Just like Regular Grown Ups.

As time went on ramping up to my appearance. The psychologist bit seemed to be changing a little. Alicia informed me the psychologist was now feeling like she had to say mother's of very young babies shouldn't be drinking (something I still disagreed with, but okay....), "...you know things like that."

Right before Alicia left town (she was not on set for my appearance....hmm....surprising) she said, (something like, I'm starting to realize why she always wanted to talk on the phone, not via email) "Now, Dr Janet Taylor's position has changed a bit. She's feeling like as a professional she has a responsibility to make sure women understand the risks."

Which still, I was okay with because in my world there is a difference between drinking and drinking to get drunk.

In the end I showed up on a show with Dr Janet Taylor, well trained media machine who was not discussing drinking in moderation but was instead talking about women as children who have no clue how to drink in moderation and can not be trusted.

I was told this was going to be a 'lighthearted' discussion. I pictured talking about how no one is talking about 'Kids And Keggers!', I pictured discussing drinking as a social activity many adults do, I pictured discussing how my husband and I often drink as a social activity at kid centered activities and not a single reporter or television has ever called to ask my husband "what that glass of beer means to him".  I wanted to emphasize how silly it is to call this a trend. I wanted to emphasize how mothers are raising children, they are not children themselves.

I was not at all prepared for a debate between "Melissa Summers, blogger!" and "Dr Janet Taylor, psychologist with impressive resume and four kids." I was especially not prepared for a debate which involved Dr Janet Taylor repeating the same thing over and over like a very tall robot.

"Mothers must find healthy ways to relieve stress." Really Dr Janet Taylor? Like doing Yoga, meeting friends for dinner, going out with my husband, spending a few alone hours at the coffee shop or the bookstore browsing? Like that? Oh, good because those are things I do as well and I just pointed them out and I may as well have been talking to my hand because you heard none of it.

Dear Alicia Ybarbo, If I had known this would be some sort of faux debate I would not have agreed to appear with a fucking psychologist with plenty of television experience as my opponent. This was unfair and you know it and that is why I was never informed this was a debate.

Would I have had the same discussion with another blogger who thinks it's not a good idea to drink at playgroups? Yes absolutely. We may have been on equal footing in that way. A blogger may have been able to actually say something of value or entertainment because we are not trained in the ways of traditional media. Which for Dr Janet Taylor means saying the same thing over and over without ever really saying anything of value.

Things like, "We underestimate...." the effects of even one drink on our ability to parent. Dr Taylor? Did you know our bodies have something called a liver and our liver can process alcohol? It's funny how people all over America routinely operate a car going 30-80 miles per hour and are considered legally able after one drink. But you're right Dr Janet Taylor, after one drink I can't change a diaper or push a kid on a swing or wipe somebody's butt.

Jennifer Ramsey from Stay At Home Motherdom was quoted in the New York Times piece and has a personal story of alcoholism which sprouted out of the loneliness of early motherhood.

Any social drinking can develop into alcoholism. Your husband's beers over football could as easily become alcoholism as a drink over the swingset could. But it's true, it's always a risk and it's something worth discussing especially as a network which doesn't want to be blamed when a mother says, "Well Meredith Viera says I can drink whatever I want whenever I want!" and then drives drunk killing herself and her children. Yes, I can see that.

I'm trying to keep this organized but as I explained at someone's birthday party yesterday (with Siobahn!) the longer I let this simmer the less able to sum it up I feel. I'm used to writing in 10 minutes off the top of my head with barely an edit. I've written this post 12 times, starting on the plane on my way home from the debacle.

After Alice headed back to New Jersey to get Henry from school I went back to the hotel to watch the video of the appearance and the more angry I felt. A combination of exhaustion and intense anger left me crying in the lobby of my hotel trying to get NBC to get me a flight home ASAP. When Isabel, from Alpha Mom, arrived to take me out for a drink she was greeted with my sobbing face.

I don't like being lied to. I don't like being called a babysitter. And I don't like being pitted against a psychologist unexpectedly on national television.

NBC called me at 3 o'clock (the process had started at 1pm) to tell me they'd gotten me a flight at 3:50. Wow, thank you NBC. You've given me 30 minutes to make it through Manhattan to Laguardia...to check my bag and get through security. You rule!

That's actually when the crying started and Isabel arrived. I ended up calling back my contact, telling her to forget it I clearly don't have enough time to make it. In 5 minutes I'd booked my own flight and paid for it myself.  All I wanted was to be home where I could tell Logan how intensely pissed I was.

In the meantime I told Isabel, who, as we all know, is very familiar with the dark side of media, all about it until I inhaled all the air out of the lounge we sat in. It was exactly what I needed and Isabel had great input I definitely wouldn't have gotten from Logan. God love him, but remember he's got a second liver in his penis and so a free pass to do as he pleases.

Let's talk about what happened behind the scenes. Alice chatted with Dr. Janet Taylor in the green room while I had my makeup finished. Alice asked, "Well what's the difference between a family at a backyard bar-b-que drinking a few beers while the kids play?"

Dr. Janet Taylor replied, "I think there's a difference between a bar-b-que and a playdate."

Alice asked, "What?"

And they were interrupted and Dr Janet Taylor had no answer except, I assume, "Mothers must find healthy ways to relieve stress. Mothers must find healthy ways to relieve stress. Mothers must find healthy ways to relieve stress."

Do fathers need to find healthy ways to relieve stress? And healthy ways to support one another? These are questions we'd all like to know but Meredith Viera is more concerned about the difference between a mother and a hired caregiver. Way to go Club Mom co-founder! Name change: "Club Glorified Babysitters!"

Is the difference between a backyard bar-b-que with families the fact that there are penises around to keep the mommies from over doing it? We underestimate the effects of even one drink after all. Is the difference the fact that there's alcohol combined with an open flame and children? I'm dying to know Dr. Janet Taylor.

Right before we went on air, Dr Janet Taylor and I were standing waiting to be mic'd. At this point I was thinking we were still on reasonably the same team. I was excited. I asked her if she'd done television before and she said yes, several times. Oh? Awesome for me! I'll follow your lead (except that her lead was robotic and said nothing of value to anyone). She also brought up two stories of mothers who had been drinking during the day, one had killed people at the elementary school during after school pick up and another had killed her children driving drunk.

I said, "Well, obviously these are people who were not aware of their limits and over did it. There have to be limits."

Dr Janet Taylor said something like, "Well maybe there are no limits." (I don't remember what she said exactly but her answer gave me an unsettled feeling about what was about to happen.)

And then we got onto our stools and Meredith Viera called me Marissa when she met me and that really boded well.

Things I wish you could have seen: Meredith Viera choking on a monster sized turd when I suggested sometimes my children make me think about ridiculous things, like selling him on ebay. (Thank God I didn't mention that summer where I wanted to eat the children dipped in chocolate. Lighten up Meredith!)

I wish you could have seen me roll my eyes in frustration when Dr Janet Taylor was given the last chance to speak and said absolutely nothing but a bunch of 'healthy ways! Not judging your alcoholism and inept parenting!' Oh wait, you did see that...and I thought I'd hidden it so well.

Logan said, "When you looked down and sighed at the end? Anyone who knows you knows that's your 'I'm trying not to punch you' look."

Things I wish had gone differently:

When Meredith asked me what the difference between me and a babysitter is."[Hearty Laugh With Incredulous Head Shake] Meredith? Did you seriously just ask me what makes me as a mother different than someone I pay to give care to my children? The co-founder of Club Mom just asked me that?" I also wished I'd said, "Well since my role as mother is 24/7, I often have anal sex with my husband while 'on duty'.  I don't really want my babysitter having anal sex with my husband."

Just imagine the turd which would fill Meredith Viera's mouth with that comment. It makes me giddy. Absolutely giddy. Dr Janet Taylor's head would have popped off and rolled away calling, "Mothers need to find healthy ways! HEALTHY WAYS!!!! HEALTHY!!!!!"

I wish Meredith would have been prepared to ask some more pointed questions of Dr. Janet Taylor. Things like, "Why is it not okay for mother's to be social as adults, while their children are social as children?"

Or

"Is it okay for fathers and mothers to have a few drinks at a bar-b-que?"

"Is it fine for families to socialize together with adult beverages? What makes that different?"

But no, let's just let Dr Janet Taylor spout her same ridiculous message over and over without ever asking her for clarification of her position.

I wish that the author in the green shirt had not said her ridiculous comment about sober mothers not being good mothers. I hope this was a misrepresentation of what she meant. Because I hardly think a sober mother is not a good one. Also, I think it's probably wise to generally keep your drinking within the legal limits of sobriety when drinking with or without children (or you could ask your husband to help keep you sober...God knows women don't know how to control themselves). I wish though, she'd said something more like:

"Show me a mother who never drinks and you'll be showing me a mother just like myself who is still a woman, is a human being who makes the choices she thinks are best and who is making dozens of mistakes every single day with her kids and almost none of those mistakes will ever matter in the big picture. So everyone chill the fuck out."

I wish I'd brought up the socializing with alcohol my husband and I do together and questioned why my husband has never been brought to New York to be shamed for having a drink in front of his children. No one has ever asked him "What that drink represents to him...." No one has questioned his ability to be a parent after having a glass of wine.

I like to picture Dr Janet Taylor replying, "Well, men have a penis." and Meredith Viera shaking her head in agreement, "Yes, yes....a penis!"

Most amusingly, at the end of the segment when the cameras went off Meredith Viera said, "In Europe this wouldn't even be an issue." Right Meredith and NBC. Thanks for helping out the cause you moron.

Let's see if I can put into list form the things which have upset me. I am not at all upset with how I was portrayed. I think NBC came across pretty clear. They invited a media savvy psychologist to go up against a mother with a blog. They asked no real questions and the psychologist said nothing but a premade sound bite, "Women must find healthy ways.....to be martyrs!"

I came across as I'd wanted to. As a normal woman who likes to combine her roles as a mother and an adult. I came across nervous, but reasonably well spoken (especially for someone who is afraid of the phone) and I interrupted where I needed to and challenged Dr Janet Taylor in a way someone, like a journalist (Hey Meredith!), should have.

What made me unhappy were these three things:

I do not like being lied to and set up for something I was not expecting and was not prepared for at all.

I did not like the overall stench of misogyny. I don't like crying SEXISM, I find it annoying as all hell. Both sexes have to deal with stereotypes and negative attitudes, but something about this idea that drinking is okay if husbands are around infuriates a very deep rooted anger in me.

I also do not like the lack of questioning of what fathers drinking around children implies. It feeds into the mothers as martyrs thing I mentioned falling into last year and which I've been trying my damndest not to fall into again. That somehow mothers have more of an obligation to be 'appropriate' or 'not concerned' with their own needs than fathers do. It's bull shit and the media messages only perpetuate it, so much so that I found myself mired in it without really realizing it or intending to do it.

Finally it bothers me, The Today Show had yet another chance to bridge the Mommy Wars and instead they laid out a stupid black and white message with the power of a psychologist suggesting mothers who have even one glass of wine are being irresponsible parents. NBC and The Today Show have sent out another wave to fan the flame of the Mommy Wars and I'm fed up with it.

And before I get another round of 'But you're judging mothers who don't drink!' let me reiterate: I am judging mothers who judge *me* for having a glass of wine in front of my kids without my husband's penis in attendance. I don't care if you drink or not and if you don't care if I drink or not, then we'll get a long just great. Unless you're a baby eating presbyterian or if you are incredibly negative and every other word that comes out of your mouth is a complaint or if you're my in laws (who do drink!).

This is terribly long and I'm not even sure if I'm getting across everything I wanted to.

But let's link to other people who are talking about this in a more detached way because I am about to tell you that someone who was on that stage with me had pants which were cut so low her thong rose above the waistband by about 4 inches. Professional! Talking about setting examples for our kids. Tsk tsk. But see that's a really bitchy personal attack so I'm not really going to do it. Except that I did. I'm a blogger, we're like live wires.

The Zero Boss talks about it here.
Karen at Home on the Fringe here.
Stefania at CityMama here.
Eden at Fussy here.
Izzy at Izzy Mom here.
SupaMB here.
CalistaWolf at LilacPixels here.
Chris at Notes from the trenches here.
Mysternyc here.
The Bean Blog here.
A Mommy Story here.
Get Sheila here.
Laid off dad here.
Kristin at Imperfect Mommy here.
(The newly pregnant!) Mihow here.
At MayasMom here.
VenturaMom here.
Jessica at Kerflop here.
Alice at Finslippy, who spooned me the night before, here.
Karli at Mom on a Wire here.
Kris at Wonder Mom here.
Mamaloo, the doula at momcast, here.
Amy at BlissfullyBitchy here.
Danielle at Foodmomiac here.
Grace at State of Grace here.
Nancy at Mom, Ma'am, Me here.
Susan at Friday Playdate here.
Jen at Jen Dude-ist here.
B.V. at I Had A Thought here.
The Silicon Valley Moms here.
Karen at Troll Baby makes it short and sweet here.
SoloMom at Sanity and the Solo Mom (at NBC owned iVillage! Hee!) here.
Suburban Turmoil here.
Erika at The Daily Camera here.

There are of course lots of places discussing how very wrong I am and how right Dr Janet Taylor is. But I don't feel a responsiblity as a blogger to search out those links for you. You may call it what you will. But a lot of the personal attacks out there are being written simply (including a 7 paragraph long comment/discussion of my personality disorder, my need for dental work, my horrid haircut and payless shoes!)(WOW!) to attract links, hits and readers. You can find those on your own.

My purpose is to share my thoughts and show the producer at NBC what other people are saying about how they handled this topic.

I have not deleted a single comment on this thread and I've left several thoughtful opposing viewpoints remain in my comments, including one which calls me an alcoholic. I've responded to some negative comments because I found them so irritating. So please give me a break here. If you want to make personal attacks or have your opinion mostly left unchallenged then you'll have to do it at someone else's site or your own.

My final thought is this: I don't need Meredith Viera to tell me to have a drink. I don't need Janet Taylor to tell me I'm a good mother. I do want the way we look at motherhood to change. The drink is symbolic of a bunch of other issues related to being a mother.

That's my bigger picture.

No, it's not world peace, but the mommy wars certainly aren't creating world peace are they?

[Edit: Please see my update about the follow up piece at The Today Show here.]

Comments

[ElizabethT45]

I watched the show and immediately wrote a post about it, but I almost wished I had waited until I read this post first. I had no idea you were ambushed like that. The question that Alice asked Dr. Taylor in the greenroom about the family barbecue? I asked that same question in my post. Knowing now what you were actually going through on that stage, I think you deserve some kind of grace-under-pressure award. You looked great, you kept your cool, and you got a lot of people talking about what is definitely a much bigger issue than just a glass of wine.

[Hetty]

This is a sterling example of why I rarely watch daytime TV (usual exceptions being if a former president dies or the WTC gets demolished -- then I'll tune in). They had it in for you and your position from the get-go, and didn't even do a good job of promoting their very biased position. You can't call that crap journalism, just something to fill the airwaves. I mean, they shot down their own argument when they showed that restaurant full of babies with mommies who had an enforced LIMIT of ONE drink each. Really, if you can get plastered on ONE drink ... then obviously you can't be allowed out in public at all (at least not without a keeper who has an auxiliary liver tucked away in his pants). Utterly ridiculous.

Playing Devil's Advocate here ... the one valid point which I thought of (which Janet the Robot did not make) against cocktail playdates is this: I have observed, over the years, that people are extraordinarily reluctant to "call" their friends on excessive drinking. (This is in real life, mind you, not on the Today show, where they call ONE drink excessive drinking.) I have seen people get sloppy drunk in public, multiple times, and no one says a word. They WILL comment to the guy's wife (it's usually a guy who does it -- take that, Meredith!), or gossip to the other sober people behind his back, or what-have-you -- but not say a word to the guy himself. This is how people end up getting behind the wheel and hurting other people. That would be my only worry about a cocktail playdate: If you did have a problem mommy, how would you deal with it? Would you be willing to take her keys away from her? Disinvite her for the future and tell her and her husband why? (Not that the husband is HER keeper, but he is 50% responsible for his kid's safety, and it is possible he might not know what is going on.) How much social embarrassment would you put up with to ensure the kids' safety?

As for "Payless shoes" ... good grief. Those were AWESOME boots!

[Laura Pryst]

I'm so angry that I am completely unable to articulate any of my feelings about it. I'm not even so much angry about the mommy playdate with drink vs. mommy playdate without drinks...but this is about the third or fourth account I've heard of the media setting up their guests to fall on the sword. If a television show wants to put forth a debate for crikes sake let it be open and honest and real...SURPRISE we are able to make our own decisions and come to our own conclusions without your snazzy editing and "balanced" reporting. Asshats.

[Missy]

Golly, I don't know what to say, Melissa.

My biggest complaint about the segment was not the slaughtering (I don't think you were slaughtered, per se, though your current explanation leaves a bad taste), but the fact that everything was spun into that whole "moms must be martyrs" ideology.

That said, I've never been a fan of morning talk shows. Once they all started doing that "fish bowl" thing with the people waving their signs, I couldn't stand it anymore.

You did a great job, in my opinion.

[GetSheila]

This answered so many of my questions. When did Janet say it is okay to drinking at a BBQ? When talking to Alice in the green room! And I had seen some of Janet's career info before but the link you provided? Holy Credentials, Batman! O Magazine? Does Oprah know Janet is CREATING issues for women when she is supposed to helping them instead?

And thanks for the link love, m'dear. Rock on, you boot-wearing, word-slinging, calm-in-the-face-of-adversity dame.

[superblondgirl]

It's all been said already, but I'll repeat myself again -- you were awesome, the Today show people sucked, and it's a-okay for mommies to drink. I wrote to the Today show about it (like they care) and posted my letter on my blog, too (in case you're interested). Thanks for the behind-the-scenes look, because I was wondering what happened off-camera... I love Merideth's solidarity at the end there. Very classy to skewer you on air and then immediately change her tune off air.

[Jennzoe333]

I don't know you, have never read or heard of your blog, but followed a link from Laid Off Dad to this story and was intrigued. I watched the video, read the story, and went back to read a few of your previous posts. All I can say is F--- that Wh--- Merideth. I used to like her. You were bamboozled! God bless you girl. Keep enjoying your wine. Frankly, I don't care if you drink the entire bottle. As a mom, I would assume your kids are safe, in a good environment, and seeing that their mom is REAL most importantly. And also, your teeth, hair and shoes were all fabulous!

So CHEERS to you!

[Mary Park]

Oh Good Lord. The hypocrisy! The puritanism! I think my head is going to explode. There's a reason that high school kids in the US binge drink, and high school kids in France don't, and y'know, THIS IS IT.

Kudos to your for your head not exploding all over Meredith Vieira. And the robot. You're a better woman than I.

[Kate]

Hi! I've never commented before, but I wanted to let you know that I totally understood what you were saying and I agree with you!

I could tell while watching that segment that you were being set up as the "bad guy". And, I totally thought Meredith was being way too opinonated. Hello! Non-biased journalist? Whatever. Anyway, It was obvious that they were trying to portray you one way, but you were funny. You were real. You were telling it like it is, and you were RIGHT.

Keep singin' it, sister! We need people like you!

[hausfrau]

I listened to the Today show spot, and it seemed like people with different view points, and not a lot of Melissa slamming. Then I watched the spot and the body language that Mrs. Vieira was using. I was appauled at her laughing at one of your comments. There were some questions she could have asked to understand your viewpoint.
For example: How often do these events occur? They made it seem like if was a weekly thing or even more frequent.

Is there ever an adult present who is not enjoying a glass of alcohol?

How old are the kids at these events?

I have watched other clips of the Today Show, and Meredith is really lowering their standards. She could take sides on the View, it was more of a caddy opinion type show. But The Today show? It is supposed to be a happy morning place, where we hear discussion of both sides of the issue and where we can get some news and great weather. Disappointing to say the least.

[Chuck]

Melissa, I'm essentially a lurker here, but I wanted to echo the props to you for your response to this. It's a shame that NBC will never respond to it.

Oh, and also this:

"Unless you're a baby eating presbyterian"

I regret to inform you that we Presbyterians leave the baby-eating to the Lutherans. Presbyterians just drink the cord blood. Nothing else.

[Deb Moniz]

Melissa, you did a great job on TV ! You were calm, didn't get flustered, responded really well and were interesting. And you looked great too. I'm sorry to read how the whole thing came about, but for an objective viewer (me!) not knowing any of the background info and not really have a strong opinion on the subject, I thought you came out on top. Yay You !!!

[hausfrau]

Deb Moniz is right. You did better than you seem to think you did. There were no pregnant pauses, you didn't freeze when the cameras came on, you looked very put together, you seemed reasonable in your reponses. Basically you didn't look like a dumbass, and you actually came across as humerous and creative. I kinda wished you had thrown up a little on Meredith.

You have a huge amount of support. I read you from Germany, and took the time to catch the interview.

[justdmarine]

Melissa, you did a great job and I for one love how you represented us with dignity. It would have been SO easy to have become a shrew in the face of that...mental PAP. I decided that I would stand up for you as well and get anyone who read ME to come on over to read you. The more the merrier! Who has the olives? Momtinis anyone?

[Cleo]

I was so pissed about the "set-up" that I emailed the Today Show Friday after it aired, prior to reading your thoughts. (If they reply, I will send it along to you.)

Whether someone agrees or disagrees on the topic is not the point, how they ambused you is unacceptable and unprofessional to bait and switch.

Bitches!

[meredith]

I am glad I live in Europe :)

[Mom2Elvis]

I represent another audience and that is women old enough to be the Mom of any of you bloggers. I read your blog daily and many others because you women embody the daughter I would have liked to have- hip, funny, human, smart, caring, independent, etc. Many of us have been suckered by the media and have lived to tell about it, there are just so many more booby traps out there now with podcasts, 24 hr cable, etc. Anyway, WORD on the alcohol thing- my mother not only drank but smoked through both of her pregnancies and my brother and I are both CEOs of large companies. We tease her and tell her to think what we might have achieved if she had just had a little self control! Chin up and keep up the great writing (Meredith Viera couldn't write her way out of a paper bag )

[Beth]

I've just been reading the comments over at msnbc, and I am completely horrified. There are people who suggest that if I wanted to continue to have an occasional drink I should never have had children! And that alcoholism starts with just one drink, blah blah blah. Seriously, WTF? It is so insulting I can barely type this.

You are so brave, Melissa. I'm sorry you were blindsided. But thank you for standing up for all moms and our right to make decisions for ourselves. You're awesome.

[Melissa Note: This is why I can't even read that site. To some of these people there is literally no difference between alcohol use and alcohol abuse. Honestly, you'd think it was against the law. Is this the 20's all over? I've been absolutely stunned by this view, I'd no idea it was even the case.]

[jane]

I didn't see the Today Show appearance. However, I wholeheartedly support the idea of the innocuous Momtini. I've read and enjoyed your blog since discovering it after NYT linked to it.

That said, girlfriend, get a sense of personal responsiblity. If you bombed, you bombed. That's on you. Please. Victimcentic-much?

[Melissa Note: Wha? Jane, read it again, this time with your eyes open. I didn't bomb. I never said anything of the sort.]

[AEMom]

Alice said it well. What is the difference between having a glass of wine with your friends while your kids play or beers at a backyard BBQ? NOTHING! Has society really gotten so bored that we need to tear down mothers FOR THIS? Mothers have done FAR FAR worse things to their children than have a glass of wine in front of them. The Today show must have nothing to cover. And Melissa, Kudos to you. I would have been sputtering in shock a couple of times from those questions. You handled yourself so well. And you looked great! Well done!

[Anna]

I've been reading what many of the other bloggers have written about this, and I have to say my reaction meshes most with Jessica at Kerflop: I couldn't see what the issue is. As a Canadian, I'd like to say that such an idiotic "controversy" would never have aired on Canadian television, but I've seen some pretty stupid stuff up here too. And this is why I don't watch puerile crap like the Today Show - they are obviously completely out of step with what I consider to be mainstream society (at least where I live). No one I know watches this show, and they are completely missing our demographic. Perhaps that's something they should consider, that maybe ivillage doesn't represent the majority of who they'd like to reach.

Melissa, hold your head high. You did great , given the hand you were dealt. I think in the end, media of this sort is on its way out.

[ValerieV]

I don't understand why they were focusing on having a drink with being stressed. They completely missed the opportunity to focus on mothers connecting with eachother and building a support network so desperately needed. I think you did a fabulous job. I don't know you, and I could tell that you were trying not to punch both of their smug faces. Yick. If you're ever in Florida, come on over to my house for margaritas.

[Rita Arens]

Is there a link to the video? I would really like to see it.

[Mitzi]

Melissa,

I loved loved loved the look on your face at the end of the interview. I had to rewind and watch it again to make sure I saw what I thought I saw then I just died laughing. I knew exactly what you were thinking and I felt the same way.

Dr. Janet Taylor needs to get a grip on reality. It is OK to admit that your children get on your nerves and sometimes you would like to sell them on ebay. Has she ever been "fed up" with any of her four children? Does she live in the real world? The look she gave you when you admitted that sometimes you are "fed up" is what irritated me then and still continues to chap my ass. There she goes trying to be perfect and judging any other mother who admits that every minute of every day is not perfect. I would like to know how she really lives her life. Does she ever drink alcohol?

[SarahA]

Hey Melissa,

Just wanted to add another voice of support. I dropped my ClubMom membership today. I hope I'm not the only one.

[N8's Mom]

I apologize for not reading ALL of the 20,000 comments made on your several posts regarding the whole Today show... (you know I can't even come up with a word to describe my feelings about how that whoole thing went down.) So, I don't know if anyone else said this already, but, I KNOW that on Meredith's last day at The View she DRANK ALCOHOL, while WORKING, and IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN even... give me a freakin' break, Meredith. What a hypocrite. I don't care if she was trying to be "impartial", she wasn't impartial at all. She came down totally against you, Melissa. I'm sorry for your frustration over this, but know that I'm just one more Mommy who agree's with YOUR view.

[Ellisma0607]

Melissa:

First let me say, you and I disagree substantially on the political front. However, I enjoy your blog, and read it on a routine basis. I appreciate your honesty and writing style. With that please consider:

I completely agree with you that they wanted to promote the “Mommy Wars” further. The Today show always has a political agenda to promote. Your segment was to promote stay at home mothers are isolated, stressed and irresponsible causing them to drink for the wrong reasons. This is evident with the “Dr.’s” opinion changing several times to a more contrast position to your own. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dr. Taylor was coached on the point of view they preferred as they developed the segment for final viewing. Why would her opinion change? Did your opinion change? – No. If they were doing balanced journalism; (an oxymoron to the Today Show), the doctor would have discussed more of the effects on children (positive or negative) with mothers who chose this type of socialization. She would have had “facts” (what are those?) and research data on the topic. Or – they would have had another stay at home mother who disagreed with you. BTW – she was a very tall robot.

I disagree with you about the sexist agenda. This does not go with Meredith’s radical feminist belief system. I believe the Today Show really didn’t think that far, they wanted to simply promote stay at home mothers are stressed drunkards who put their children in danger by choosing to socialize with alcohol. Her belief structure is revealed when she compared you to a babysitter. You explained one small difference – one is a paid employee, while you are their mother who knows your limits. She clearly didn’t hear this because she asked again. In Meredith’s world, men do not exist and are not required, which is why fathers are never seen. The word father is only used during the bit about happy hour 4-6 at that restaurant in New York- Meredith never brings up the word father. It is more exciting to promote a cat fight in the “Mommy Wars” where women are very critical of each other.

Thank you for your in-depth analysis. I enjoyed reading the detailed information on how the segment was presented to you and manipulated over time to the monstrosity it became. I hope you find peace with this and focus on your beautiful family. You were just a pawn in an agenda already calculated to promote. However, please look upon it as a learning experience. As your blog grows, you know what to expect, the right questions to ask, and have a better handle on what to expect when you go on TV. Practice makes perfect. You took this interview as a business decision and regard it just as that. Your blog is out there, and has more traffic now – moving your goals forward even more. Unlike Dr. Taylor you have integrity and keep your opinions the same, not for the agenda of the day. Like her, you can add this to your resume. Meredith and Dr. Taylor are not taking this interview personally – why should you? The topic is personal, but they weren’t trashing your parenting they were promoting their agenda that day.

I am not a mother, but just to let you know my take on alcohol, my husband and I got wasted last weekend and had sloppy drunk sex. It was great; we hadn’t done that in awhile.

[Melissa Note: That's cool, you can get drunk if there's a penis around. I really didn't take the interview personally. As I said in my post: "I am not at all upset with how I was portrayed." and here: "I came across as I'd wanted to. As a normal woman who likes to combine her roles as a mother and an adult. I came across nervous, but reasonably well spoken (especially for someone who is afraid of the phone) and I interrupted where I needed to and challenged Dr Janet Taylor in a way someone, like a journalist (Hey Meredith!), should have."]

[Spot Gurl]

Seems like Meredith and Janet "drank the juice" at NBC when they did the piece with you on Momtinis and playdates. I think a Cosmo would have been a better choice.

[jane]

I was reacting to the fact that you objected to being opposite some one who has experience in television. What's that about? Either you can hold your own or you can't. So Taylor spouted meaningless propaganda in a robot-like fashion. You have lips. You can do that too. Why is it Meredith's job to expose the mysogynistic or biassed premise to the questions she was posing. Isn't that your job? You know, as the kids say, "bring it!"

You are to be commended for representing. It's more than I've done! I just don't understand all this after-the-fact finger pointing. It's television. You didn't expect an ambush? Look at what Nancy Grace did to that poor woman who lost her child. Not that the instant subject matter is comparable. I'm just sayin.

[Melissa Note: What I expected is exactly what I was told. Call me naive. As I've said several times, I wouldn't have agreed to debate with a media trained specialist on this topic with this tone. That is all. I wish the discussion had been what I was told it would be.]

[jane]

last word :p

[Nancy]

I'm torn between not paying attention to NBC's debacle of coverage (so that it will become a non-issue and they won't get any further press about it) and being so damn mad that I can't see straight.

Unfortunately, even thuogh I'm attempting the former, I'm really all about the latter... you can see my post here if you are so inclined:
http://www.mommaamme.com/mommaamme/2007/01/make_mine_merlo.html

[rebecca]

I would just like to point out a small bit of hypocrisy I witnesses this morning. On Millionaire, Meredith's other fluff morning show, she told the phone-a-friend - who admitted to being at work and having a hard day - that HE should "kick back and have a drink."

Personally, I think you looked and sounded great.

This debate is exactly why I don't join playgroups. If you're going to be offended if I make responsible adult decisions in the presence of my children, chances are, you'll be even more offended when I share my views on more pressing issues.

[austingirl1967]

Melissa,
Just found your blog through someone else's site that I read. I truly appreciate your honesty and sense of humor. As a woman who works full-time, with a husband in the entertainment industry (in other words, constantly busy), and a six year old daughter, I LOVE the wine and cheese playdate idea. No, I NEED one now. I watched your interview, and you came off as totally reasonable and NORMAL. Not at all like an out of control lush who is endangering her child. All I could think was, "What in the hell is the issue here. What's with the psychologist lady? She's there, why?" And Meredith was awfully smug. If it were me, I would have either cried or punched her in the nose. Well, glad I found you. Thanks!

[mihow]

This is my favorite post from the MSNBC message board:

"Didn't Betty Ford start out as a social drinker?"

That there is pure comedy gold.

[Melissa Note: So did nearly alcoholic on the planet. Never mind all the social drinkers who remain social drinkers for life. PROHIBITION IS CLEARLY THE ANSWER!!!!!!!!]

[bitch who blogs]

OK.. I have to admit I have been blogging and ranting about the topic - uhhh.. as a mom of eight weeks can I tell you I have never wanted a glass of wine more at the end of a day - and I am having it.

I am blogging about it here

www.pursesandpoop.blogspot.com

I think the whole critiquing of moms is, of course, sexist but also distracting us from some serious issues facing kids in our country... what would happen is all that energy was turned against the fact the government doesn't make children's needs a priority... sorry, I find the whole thing wearisome - sure alchoholism is a shitty thing to experience in childhood, but knocking back a cocktail or two does not an alchololic mmake...

hang in there

[Kirsten]

Hi Melissa,
You don't know me (I've never been here before) but I've finally followed one of then many links I've come across this week to your blog.
Just wanted to say 'hear hear' to everything you said, and yeah, I really wish you'd said that line about the anal sex too! :) It made me laugh just imagining it.
All the best
Kay

[merseydotes]

I don't know whether you caught it in my hubby's (B.V.) post, but Dr. Janet Taylor's area of expertise also includes 'health and wellness' research for Pepsi. She really covers a lot of ground, doesn't she? Healthy eating and exercise, stress/organization/self awareness (http://cybersimplify.com/), mental illness (http://www.smartspot.com/5_commitment/5-3-16_taylor.php), strong women in the workplace (http://www.strongwomen.com/summit/lead/agenda.htm), divorce (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/08/09/earlyshow/main1879420.shtml) and - of course - alcoholism and liver function, as we well know.

It seems like Dr. Janet is willing to shill herself as an expert on just about anything as long as it gets her a speaking engagement/seminar/website somewhere. You would think that the Today show could have at least found an actual expert who specialized in alcohol abuse to talk about women and drinking. But apparently Dr. Janet is willing to say anything to anyone under the guise of her M.D., and I guess Meredith Viera & Co. thought that was good enough.

[BabyWife]

Red flags are appearing all over the place when I hear mothers being super-defensive about their drinking habits, especially those who are still pregnant or breastfeeding. Is the SAHM upper-middle class life really so stressful that mothers (or at least, popular mommybloggers) consider a regular drink and the next dose of their antidepressants to be daily or weekly highlights? I can’t help but think that many of these women need to be exposed to real, Third World-style stress. At the least, they need to find other ways of dealing with pressure or boredom.

The underlying problem isn’t being addressed…though Janet was thoroughly correct in emphasizing that drinking isn’t an appropriate way to deal with stress. If you choose to drink, and drink in front of your own children, I won’t complain. But anyone who feels like they “need” to drink to deal with the ordinary events of parenthood is playing with fire. That’s simply not a good reason to be drinking. The motivation for these “three martini playdates” is all wrong. And your statement about using playdates-with-wine to “screen” other parents smacked of “We-moms-we-drink-we-cool” cliquishness.

I thought the babysitting question was a home-run exposure of the hypocrisy many moms have about this issue. Key is that these moms are not drinking while out on the town or while Dad is “on duty” or after the kids are in bed – they’re drinking at 4 p.m. and driving home afterwards.

Ms. Viera has made her views on equality and relationships pretty clear. It’s very weird to see you accusing her of some penis superiority conspiracy.

[Melissa Note: I point you to this for more information about 'screening': "I am judging mothers who judge *me* for having a glass of wine in front of my kids without my husband's penis in attendance. I don't care if you drink or not and if you don't care if I drink or not, then we'll get a long just great." As for the Meredith thing, it appears she left her personal views out of the discussion and focused on getting ratings. So perhaps you're right, she just didn't express that.]

[SSFB]

For all it's worth, I read your blog daily and I have never in my life watched anything that she was on (and now I don't really feel any need to).

Meredith is not a journalist, she's a tool.

[Kellie Mullin]

Well, for starters, let's all remember that having a drink in front of the children is just one step away from handing out crack vials on the playground! As far as all this goes with finding a healthier way, I dont think that there is a better way to show responsibile use of alcohol to children. After all, they live what they learn. Children model after their parents, and if their parents indulge responsibly, so will they. As far as the esteemed Dr. Taylor goes, have a glass of wine and get laid, youre way too uptight sister.

[madge]

I went to my first Tots N' Tonics when my daughter was two months old. I would routinely meet up in the late afternoon with other mothers of babies at local bars in our Brooklyn neighborhood (they were empty and open and how often to you find THAT in NY?) for one pint. I drink and I drink responsibly. Whether or not I am a parent is completely irrelevant. I am a consenting adult who is well-able to make choices. Fuck anybody who says differently.

With a six-week-old, I'm just getting up to speed on this whole debacle. I can't believe how NBC blind-sided you. That is ridiculous, but unfortunately, not surprising.

Thank you, Melissa, for putting yourself out there. Thank you for putting a well-spoken, obviously reasonable face on what we are: Normal Women Who Happen To Have Children.

[madge]

Also, as you may have surmised from my previous comment, I am ripping shots while breastfeeding.

'Cause that's how you drink in front of kids, right?

[Vicki]

I wish I had seen this interview. I don't like Merideth. Didn't like her on the View and don't like her now.

Great blog. I'm glad I found you.

Now I'm going to put vodka in my Babies bottle so I don't have to drink alone. =)

[Melting Mama]

Well, my kids are up on eBay, and I'm mixing drinks while I list 'em. Whath wrongth wiff dat? ::stumbles to pick up a child at preschool::

[MommasWorld]

I come here from time to time and I enjoy reading your blog.

When I first heard about this I was extreamly outraged! I can only imagine how you feel. I have personally witnessed media twisting but did not think this show was like that at all. If it is any concolation to you at all there are MANY of us who are upset about the treatment you received. After I calmed down I wrote about it my blog. When you feel up to it come by and enjoy. (http://mommas-world.blogspot.com/)

[Shash]

Melissa,
I saw it live and I just wanted to say you were spectacular. I would have reacted with double the eye rolling and might have added an "are you f'in kidding me?!?" which would have been bad. You had just the right amount of restraint and class. You definitely represented us mommy bloggers much better than I might have.

I've boycotted the Today Show because of how they treated you. I'll have to drool over Matt Lauer somewhere else.

Shash

[Rachel]

Thanks for pointing us to all those links. I'm amazed at how many people have written about this.

I wrote about it too, here, if you want to check it out.

I talked to my dad (a recovering alcoholic) before writing it. He thought that having an argument about social drinking among moms was preposterous. I completely agree that this was just another way to fan the Mommy Wars. well said.

[Tessa]

As a point of interest... I grew up in a household where there was a recovering alcoholic. I absolutely never saw my parents drink anything. When I finally moved out on my own, I had no idea whatsoever how to draw appropriate boundaries on how much to drink. I initially thought that anyone who drank anything must be an alcoholic. Then I started drinking, and way, way, way overdid it (and flunked out of college). Not that you need more opinions, but I think it's appropriate for children to learn "healthy" boundaries. :)

[ozma]

Melissa, the way they set you up is so revealing of so many things about TV and our culture. The talking head expert is the most absurd element of television. I remember after 9-11 they desperately sought an experts to fill the airways and finally were down to one Freudian who said the Twin Towers were giant phallic symbols.

With the decision to drink, we are talking about a moral, a personal issue, an issue about how to live and what choices to make. There are no experts on that. A psychologist is not an expert on that. Any human being has as much claim to that knowledge as any other.

No wonder America is so confused. A psychologist cannot tell us how to lead our lives--why can't TV understand that? Because there can be no real thought, it has to be filtered in the way you describe. You saw the fact that you and she were equals on this matter (it's obvious!) but television did not see that. To television, there are experts with credentials and then the rest of us. Even about such things as the choices we should make the packaged expert is supposed to guide our thinking somehow. Without reasons, of course. What you said was far more persuasive than what she said. They didn't give us anything to think about--you did.

Just think of all the money they waste doing that every minute of every day. God, it could keep all of South America in superhero necklaces.

I also talked about this thing, a little indirectly though. I have some very good reasons for hoping that no one reads my post about the issue so perhaps I should not have mentioned it. But as dumb as the 'controversy' they invented is, the discussion you've raised about what happened is pretty intriguing.

[pageant mom]

Honestly, I'm not that sympathetic. I can't believe you went into this as naively as you did... It's okay for other types of mothers to be ridiculed and portrayed as "bad" - i.e. esp pageant mothers - so now you know how WE feel.

This too shall pass, something new will come along to take it's place. It always does. Maybe next week they'll hit up the cheerleading moms again ;o)

[Melissa Note: That's one of the weirdest things anyone's said to me. I didn't make fun of pageant mothers. I never have. But...all right. I deserve it because Pageant Moms get it. Great reasoning. I really was that naive and I won't be again. Live and learn.]

[Angelina]

The very first comment kicks ass. Point number three is truly at the bottom of a lot of problems in our world today. Critical thinking skills seem to be at an all time low.

What I want to know is when is Dr.Janet Taylor going to start sending me a daily complimentary massage to relax me in a more "positive" way than drinking beer?

[christy]

I have nothing of note to add except that my next keg stand will be dedicated to Meredith Viera and Dr. Janet Taylor as long as my 4-year-old and 2-year-old can hold me upside down for that long.

[POCONO_MOM]

well, meredith can kiss my tequila drinking ass because i have 4 kids and all are intact, well fed and groomed and my bills are paid. i couldn't hold my tounge so i wrote about it myself www.poconomom.com and i also found a very interresting picture on the web ... drink up mer!
melissa, congratulations on holding your own and defending EVERY stay at home/work from home mother in america. after the piece i would have asked meredith if she knew a good bar in the area, you could've picked up her nanny on the way.

[emery]

It sounds like the Today Show is sensationalistic crap, just like most of the news programs on the air today. And "crap is king," after all.

As Meredith said, it wouldn't be an issue in Europe. But isn't that what makes America so great? Perhaps, Meredith wouldn't even have a job in Europe. She has to thank her lucky stars for that.

The Today Show is a half step up from the local news. Shouldn't we all care which hotels have spooge residue on their sheets? That's what's important, right?

[Wendle]

This portion of your post pretty much sums up what my husband and I discussed after I played the interview for him:

"Show me a mother who never drinks and you'll be showing me a mother just like myself...So everyone chill the fuck out."

First of all, I've been reading your blog for just over a year and have to say I love your writing style, sarcasm, and general outlook on things. Always fearful of saying something stupid I stop short of posting my comments, but this topic just irritates me to no end so screw the sounding stupid thing for today. I apologize in advance for my inability to make any discussion brief.

I'm about to be a mom, and have had a glass of wine here and there during the pregnancy despite comments from others (after my mom urged me to just have a glass if I wanted one). I also plan on consuming a large amount of it shortly after I have this kid to celebrate nine months without an alcoholic frosty beer. Then, when my child has play dates, I plan on having some more alcohol (in moderation, of course), amongst friends and children. Despite how the above comments may sound, I don't drink much at all, but if I happen to choose to do it in the presence of my children I damn well can. Don't do it if you don't want to, but don't judge me for doing it. It’s not difficult. I expect that I'll immediately be put on the horrible mother list for most of the above comments.

As for the eBay comment, I love it! That was my favorite part of the interview. I consider myself a logical, realistic person; a person who knows that every day is not going to be magical. I suppose the bad days remind you of how lucky you are when the good days roll around. Sort of like my job (as a Realtor); I got paid yesterday and it rocked, but I wanted to kill the client last week and thought twice, many times about continuing in this profession. Probably not the best comparison to being a mom, but it's all I have since my child is still drinking its own urine in my belly.

Finally, to the point: Good for you for telling the nay-sayers to fuck off and mind their own business! As for the psychologist who feels it’s her duty to tell every other mother how to live their life, there are plenty of them out there who are waiting to be told what to do. I’m not one of them.

[nthnglsts]

Drinking during playgroup? I'm shocked. Where will it end? Can playgroup strippers be far behind? See the "Taking It All Off In Peoria" post at http://www.suburbankamikaze.typepad.com/

M, you won this Mommy-War skirmish pretty handily, but even better, you bested the TV journalists and chatting heads at their own game you Blogger you! Well done. Let's see, can we book you on GMA...maybe opposite a psychologist and journalist who don't sport their Monica-Wear underroos on national tv?

[Mitch McDad]

All I can say after reading a bunch of this is that I would like to buy you a big old drink. Cheers.

[Anne]

Obviously, I don't want to sound smug here but I am so glad not to be living in America. I think this whole debate is daft, puritanical rubbish and it explains why prohibition was introduced. God give me strength. We are talking about a bunch of nice middle class women who have given up their jobs to mind their fantastically lucky children (which I do admire though couldn't quite face doing myself - I have so many children). This is not a problem. Having a mother who is an alcoholic is a problem. One glass of wine on a Friday afternoon does not make anyone an alcoholic. This is ludicrous. May I suggest that you move to Belgium? Also, I really liked your boots. Does payless mean that they are cheap? How very clever of you.

[spunkymonkeymom]

love your sense of humor, really enjoy reading you.

Well, it's the Friday after the TS fiasco and Meredith has posted -

"I got a lot of postings taking me to task regarding the mommies who drink on play dates segment. "

Really Meredith?!?! and the rest of her post is crap - total back pedaling. 'Double Standard!! - hmm, yet including men in the footage or interview would have tainted the piece.

http://meredithtoday.ivillage.com/entertainment/2007/02/

Anne - "Payless" is a discount footwear store

[Charity]

Kudos to you Melissa.

Anyone who doesn't get the gendered aspect of this issue, who thinks it's just another bit of irresponsible or hackneyed or sensationalistic journalism that could've happened to anyone, male or female: please note the incessant questioning of women's choices (be they about sex, pregnancy, working, breastfeeding, caretaking, working WHILE caretaking, beauty / fashion, diet, housekeeping, etc) in this country, which is puritanical AND misogynistic in a most unique combination. Lucky us. Or, if you are aware of these other domains in which women's choices continue to be prescribed or restricted or questioned in a way that men's aren't, but still don't get that this is a gendered issue, I guess you can keep drinking the kool-aid, dutifully poured for you by the patriarchy.

And for commenters like "amki" or whatever (near the top of the thread), whose line about yeah-I-say-the-same-thing-about-my-kid-but-would-NEVER-be-dumb-enough-to-say-so-on-TV-because-it-would-LOOK-BAD: Guess what? Someone taking your position does FAR more damage to the cause of mothers and women than someone making a comment like Melissa's. Why the hell should anyone have to adopt a false persona and deny something that you've just admitted is NORMAL and COMMON, for fear of "seeming" or "looking" angry or otherwise? Haven't women had to deny ENOUGH aspects of their experience that might make some puritan or some sinisterly-empowered group / social strata of people feel slightly uncomfortable? Body hair, periods, sex, childbirth, anger at sexist jokes or sexual harassment, anger at lack of economic and political power, you name it. Cuz, you know, it's more important to LOOK a certain "acceptable" way that fits with the powers-that-be's sensibilities, than to be honest about reality, and take back our own power. Shame on you amki.

[ehp911]

Well-done, Melissa. We have doggie play dates (yes, I know having dogs is not the same as having kids, but that's all I've got right now) and we do have some wine while watching our pups. I hope to do the same when the kid time comes.

[stephanie s]

as far as i can tell, your only problem is that you are assuming meredith viera is a journalist.

[PeachPod]

Let's remember that as mommies we are a force that has power. If someone wants to create a button that says 'Boycott The Today Show' or something to that effect I will, as I'm sure others will, put it on my blog page. (If I knew how I would create one) Let's watch this move across the blog world like wildfire. This will hit NBC's radar as well as being discussed on other networks.

[Becky]

I take my job as a full time stay-at-home mom very seriously. I would never do anything to jeopardize my children's safety like drinking and driving. With that being said, I consider myself a responsible adult and feel that having a glass of wine during a child's playgroup or even just alone while cooking dinner with my kids, is perfectly acceptable and legal. I really don't even see what the debate is. I actually think it's kindof sad that the Today show can't come up with any other more dynamic topics to discuss than my glass or two of wine. In closing, I think that my friends and I should actually be patted on the back for spending 24/7 with our children and socializing with them, rather than "passing them off". My friends and I have a standing Monday playgroup and a Friday Happy Hour where cocktails are offered (by the way, everyone lives within walking distance). Until it's illegal for 30 year olds to drink, back off people!

[JT]

How on earth did I miss this whole debacle? You're totally my hero. FYI, this happened to me in college.... I ended up on Nightline when I was 20, and got blindsided. And they didn't even fly me to New York!

Anyway, I'd just like to say that I think just about any dumbass gets that this isn't a group of lush women slopping dirty martinis and cigarette ash on their filthy, screaming hordes. I'm not a big drinker, but I've got a full-time job, grad school, and three kids under the age of seven. And sometimes I'm just a calmer, kinder, better mom after a drink.

The truth hurts, baby.

{P.S. I learned responsible drinking from my parents, who believed that a drink went well with a good meal. I never saw them get drunk, ever, but they were far from teetotalers. Beer, wine, liquor etc. were "grownup" drinks. That was pretty much it. And I think I turned out okay. *twitch*)

[JT]

P.P.S. I also wish someone had told The Today Show that Chuck E. Cheese sells beer and wine. Seriously, you can get a pitcher of beer at your kid's birthday party at 10 am.

Maybe they should do an expose' on how Chuck E. Cheese is contributing to the delinquency of irresponsible parents who need a freakin' beer once in a while to deal with the noise and the arguing and the diapers and the goddamned Cheerios and the gimmegimmegimmemineminemine!

Sorry. I'm on Prednisone right now and it's got me agitated. Perhaps that's not responsible Momming either. Are there rules about not Momming when you're on steroids? Judging by my word vomit, I'm guessing maybe there should be.

Anyway, you rock, Melissa. Keep fighting the good fight.

[SkippyMom]

I am so sorry I missed this show, but I have to tell you I wouldn't watch M. Veira with 5 martinis sitting in front of me.

She is an insufferable bitch. The first few times I attempted to watch the View I almost ruined the big screen by vomiting on it within feet of the dish box.

All she can blather on about it is how GREAT A MOTHER SHE IS.....

I cannot stand that kind of tripe. When your children grow up and succeed in a way that is an asset to society then FINE - crow you hag [Viera] but until then I don't need to know how your precious "Stryker" or "Remington" [whatever her kids names are...bleh] are...you haven't done anything yet.

And to ask if you were a babysitter? Gee, with her busy schedule....shouldn't she have referred to you as a "Nanny"? I swear Melissa I am spitting nails over this....

I am ready to boycott the entire network based on this episode alone....how freaking unfair....

I am now and forever a huge fan and hope that you are going to be okay. You didn't deserve this and you are very intelligent and valid in your arguments.

Hang in there. You have a great amount of support on this.

Hugs!

SkippyMom

[bvrtjip nkol]

ymspd xsohqy twlx dfpm riygx nkxliwza tfeijz

[kristen_verity]

Love, love, love you. For keeping it real.

[Layoffs]

People always hate to talk about when they are laid off. But as it has become every day's news headline since Yahoo started it with cutting 1500 of its task force last year, now a need of platform has been in demand where people can express their selves in words how they are feeling about their company, whey the got laid off was that justified or not.
And every thing they want to tell anonymously.And www.layoffgossip.com is providing you that platform.