They also give out free clearasil!

Meredith Viera is totally kicking herself for not having my friend Heather on to talk about her playgroup.

I talked to Leah Peterson who has written a little something at The Huffington Post. The last three paragraphs are worth considering. I was honestly so naive to believe a producer, when all reason tells you how television works.

Meredith Viera has also spoken up. I'm referred to as "our mom", you rule Meredith!

When I was trying to organize childcare last week, I'd hoped Logan could take a day off, but it was in his first week of work so it felt a little soon. He could have explained why he needed the time off and I'm sure they'd have understood. But then he'd be telling them about my website, and he wasn't quite ready for that.

Of course that same day he got an email from a new coworker. "Hey, my wife cocktails too."

He found the site by googling so no more talking about Logan's crush on Lindsay Lohan and we're definitely not talking about anal sex or the arguments we have because that type of thing will make Logan really uncomfortable at work.

Oh wait, shoot. I just did it again.

Logan's loving his new job. When he started my friend said, "Wouldn't it be great if he ended up working with a lot of older people who don't go out so much?"

Because Logan has a strong desire to be 'out' and sometimes Logan forgets that being 'out' costs money. Sometimes he even picks up the tab for 5 other people's drinks as well as his own. And then I spent two weeks pointing out everything we *could have* bought if he hadn't bought an evening's worth of drinks for 5 people.

But we're past all that now. Shit, I just did it again. I can't write without embarrassing my husband.

The funny thing is, Logan is maybe the oldest person at his new office. I think the owner just had his bar mitzvah and I think his boss is 14. In fact, we might be fine on the social outing front because no one Logan works with is of age I think.

There are video games and subsidized lunches (no one can drive to get lunch, they're not old enough), free soda, a zoo membership and a plastic spider which is involved in a game called 'Chuck the Spider At People On Your Team'. So Logan's really comfortable there, with adolescents.

He's very happy there and likes the work and it's not automotive so I don't have to have a heart attack every time the Big Three lays off more people and cuts budgets. It's also literally 6 minutes (all side streets) from our house so he can come home for a midday romp in the sack.

Shit. I just did it again.

Tonight I am going to a happy hour with Logan and without children. Like a real adult. I kind of want to make another penis joke here but I know it's getting old. Just ask Logan how old it's getting. Let's just take a moment to say 'Thank You' to Logan for being around to keep me from humiliating myself by succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

Another reason to love Logan's office is someone posted a note on a message board and she likes to babysit. We've paid a babysitter about 10 times in 8+ years. It's not that I haven't wanted to hire a babysitter, it's just that we have family who can't say no. I'm also embarassed to say I get really nervous about bringing a new babysitter here. My kids are now old enough I shouldn't get the anxiety I used to, "What if she doesn't know where the diapers are!" "What if she can't get Maddie to stay in bed!"

Now I have vague worries about her not liking my kids or not being fun. Or her finding all our porn. Or what if she DRINKS ALL THE LIQUOR IN OUR BAR?

But now I know I shouldn't worry about that. If I want to have the freedom to drink while I'm a mother, my babysitter deserves that same freedom. A babysitter is just like me, only paid!

Fingers crossed it goes well. A 23 year old sitter, who likes my kids could mean Logan and I could possibly leave the kids with her to go away for the weekend all alone. It's been three years.

Which isn't a lot to some people who actually love their kids and aren't selfish monsters. But as we all know I don't love my kids and I am a selfish monster.

Comments

[Meg]

I'm all for you embarassing Logan, because it's fun to read.

And I would babysit for y'all in a heartbeat. At 32! With lots of experience! But alas -- 3000 miles is a hell of a trip home at the end of the night.

[SuburbanTurmoil]

I tried to give Meredith a piece of my mind and wouldn't you know it, all comments entered mysteriously disappear when you hit 'Post.'

The bizatch.

[Tommy from Michigan]

Sounds like he works for a company that rhymes with "he tries".

[Melissa Note: Ding ding ding.]

[Meganann]

3 YEARS!!!! I pray to god the babysitter works out because woman, you are deprived.

[christy]

"I kind of want to make another penis joke here but I know it's getting old."

Yeah - Logan's penis is getting old! I mean, it's nearly as old as he is now.

I also tried to comment on Meredith's blog and my comment disappeared into space, too. Probably to the same place her common sense went.

[trophywife]

i love your wit. i snorted out load and my coworkers are looking at me funny.....

[slouching mom]

I know that I am holding a grudge, and that is so petty of me, BUT:

What Meredith said on her site today?

"(And to those of you who have asked, yes, Richard and I do have a drink from time to time.)"

That is the most politically correct phrasing I've heard in a long time and confirms my belief that she has indeed become a Today Show robot.

[jodifur]

I'm just impressed you got a babysitter. I mean, since you drink all the time, I figured you leave your young children home alone also. You are "that type" of mom.

You know I'm kidding right? right? That's total sarcasm, I swear.

[Emily]

"Thousands of people read her daily because her honesty flies right off the screen and into their hearts."
Melissa I hope you know this is so true.

[postpartumlife]

Melissa,

I'm a big lurker and have never left a comment for you before. I was so annoyed by the Today show that I had to add my voice to the many who agree that you rock. I plan to drink even more now while my kids are around just to spite that nasty dr. Healthy ways of dealing with things be damned!

[superblondgirl]

I'm glad to know that you're the universal mom - sort of like the mother earth goddess figure of the blogging world. Or maybe the Bacchus figure, because of all the drinking. If you haven't been away in 3 years, I'm surprised your kids are still alive. Mine might be buried in the basement if I didn't get a weekend away sometimes. I hope the new sitter works out - remind her that she is getting paid to drink, what's not to love??

[Notredame9207]

yeah..tried to comment on the Meredith site too.....and nothing! what a waste of my time.

Good luck with the new sitter and Logan's Penis! LOL

[Notredame9207]

wait...I didn't mean his penis and the babysitter at the same time....I mean..ohh forget it!

you KNOW what I mean!!

Go out and have a good time..you enjoy it!

[virginia]

I would babysit for you Melissa but I drink when I'm watching my friends children for them - but only cause they don't pay me ;-)

[The Metamorph]

Hey, um, Melissa? Could you maybe try developing a sense of humor about this thing?

(Seriously, you crack me up.)

And as far as Meredith's Blog goes - comments show up a day after you make them. And yes, her response did sound quite robotic.

[Susan]

Please tell me you wore The Boots to happy hour. Please.

[Ruth Dynamite]

Melissa, you were GREAT on the Today Show. Thank you for being so articulate and poised. I think there are a lot of women out there (Hi Meredith) who simply have no concept of what it's like to be at home with young kids all day...for days. Cheers to you!

[Fenicle]

I am impressed that Meredith actually read (or her assistant did) the complaints of her interview. How PC of her to respond with such a positive spin & calling you "our mom" was icing on the cake!

Enjoy happy hour...hope many more come your way!!!

[Dooce Fan]

She should know as do I you can never go wrong with Heather.

[Flaneuse De Vivre]

Raising my glass to you, my partner in babysitting crime :-) Enjoy the night out.

[thesilentk]

I think Meridith feels that you've accepted her pseudo apology because she probably has such a big ego that she can't detect sarcasm.

[Marla]

Well, this made me feel a little better:
http://www.netdisaster.com/go.php?mode=manif&url=http://meredithtoday.ivillage.com/entertainment/2007/02/friday_qas_lots_of_questions_f.html

[MomVee]

I noticed something about Meredith's Friday response to all the questions about the cocktail playdates segment.

She never uses the word "mother." "Mommies who drink on playdates" being the most egregious example, "our mom" being another. I think it's demeaning, reductive and dismissive, although probably inadvertent.