This was the beginning of the Buzz Off but my God I ramble.

This morning Madison, who is 8 years old, came to me while I checked morning emails and asked, "Mom, are we Jewish?"

My grandfather just rolled over in his grave, not because there's anything negative about my daughter wondering if we're Jewish, but because my grandfather would be screaming, "I don't care what you are.....JUST PICK A RELIGION FOR YOUR FAMILY MELISSA!"

"Well, no we're not Jewish, you may have noticed we've never celebrated any Jewish holidays," I answered. "But we believe in God, just like Jewish people. So we have something in common in that way."

"Do we get presents for Passover then?"

Oh my sweet, darling, capitalist, advertising poisoned, heathen daughter. 

Thankfully I had the computer and was able to quickly Google 'Explaining Passover To Your Heathen Child" and we both got a great education about the history of Passover and the traditional observances. Only Madison thought I was simply full of this information all on my own. I love kids because they think you're really smart and with Google I don't necessarily have to make things up like my own parents did.

All I really wanted to say was Happy Passover to everyone celebrating this week.

I also wanted to make a clumsy segue into our mostly non-religious celebration of the death and rebirth of Jesus Christ. I mentioned to Madison we'd be coloring eggs to celebrate Easter and she said, "What does that have to do with Jesus dying on the cross."

Again with Google. I feel like the Wizard Of Oz here sometimes, pretending I know all the great and powerful things when I really have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm just a nerd with a computer. Hopefully Wikipedia isn't lying to me or Madison's going to be a little embarassed when she gets out into the real world.

I explained the eggs symbolize new life and we decorate them for big fun. "Oh," I said. "Jewish people also have hard boiled eggs as part of their Passover Seder to symbolize new life and the Temple service in Jerusalem."

Maddie replied, "So we're Jewish?"

"How about we just color our eggs, have brunch with friends and call it our holiday."

Go ahead, you can read even more rambling and clumsy segues at today's Buzz Off.

Comments

[Jonniker]

Wait until she starts doing more research and figures out that the egg part of Easter is argued to be a pagan celebration. Oh, the mine fields!

[slouching mom]

I am amazed that my boys have reached 9 and 5 without asking questions like these. My husband is an athiest, and I am an agnostic, because I'm afraid to commit in all things, and, well, we don't have much to say about Easter.

I'm sure I'll be Googling soon too. But I'm not talking before they're asking.

[Melissa]

Too funny.

My husband is an atheist Jew and I'm an agnostic former Catholic. We attend a secular humanistic congregation (really). I suspect there will be many questions later.

Passover is a really wonderful holiday though. Lots of stories, kids participating, haroset (yum!). We always put an orange on the seder plate too -- a tradition that was born after someone decreed that a woman belonged on the bimah as must as an orange on the seder plate.

Happy holidays to your family.

[Janna]

She's going to be really bummed out when she finds out she can't have a bat mitzvah...(from a girl who grew up in West Bloomfield...)

[CursingMama]

I always went with we believe in Jesus, and he was Jewish. BTW the mouse made a movie (I think it was the mouse) called the prince of egypt which answered a ton a questions I got from my troops.

[Georgia]

To all interested moms out there:

I would like to invite you to participate in a research study of parenting views and practices. Dr. Kim White-Mills and Dr. Catherine Dobris of IUPUI (both are moms) are interested in understanding what sources parents find useful in their parenting practices, how parents use different parenting information, and what views parents across the county hold regarding parenting issues.

To access this survey, go to http://www.iupui.edu/~momviews/

[TeriLynn]

Did you tell her Aunt Teri is a Jew-By-Proxy? I heart Passover more than you can imagine. Gives me time for job interviews. (which either went VERY well or VERY bad. I have no idea which.)

-miao.

[Dana]

I was always jealous of my Catholic and Jewish friends because they got bat mitzvahs and confirmation parties. My son once told his Sunday school teacher that Jews were different because Santa didn't visit them and wondered aloud at what they had done to possibly incur Santa's wrath.

[Susan]

We spent all of breakfast (after Charlie announced "I'm going to CHURCH today at SCHOOL!") talking about how Jesus died on the cross. And poor Henry, who worries all the time about how we're not any sort of religion, kept saying, "But why would God let that happen?"

Finally he said, "That wasn't very nice of God. I think I would have saved Jesus." And then I was really stuck because clearly my retelling of the Easter story has scarred him for life.

Amen.

[Jack's Raging Mommy]

Jack isn't even two yet, but my mom takes him to church every Sunday so that he wont be an utter heathen.
I'm just thinkging "three hours to sleep! Rock ON!"