"GET YOUR PANTS ON!"

Yesterday we had three showings on the house (another tonight!). All this visualizing unicorns prancing on rainbow clouds seems to be working. Optimism and patience is rewarding? My world is spinning. It's raining kittens playing with yarn!

There were two showings scheduled for the 6:30 to 7:30 time slot. We took the kids to dinner and out for ice cream and came back to the house at around 7:20 because we were tired of killing time and figured the people were finished walking through since once most people see our basement they decide they like living in the earth and can't do a thing with the basement and poof they're gone.

I feel like telling these people about places like Texas where basements are considered a luxury item. Our short height basement is a luxury item!

We got in the house, Logan started a load of laundry and we rushed the kids to get their pajamas on. I walked into the living room and noticed a white SUV driving by slowly and had a fleeting thought, "Gee, I wonder if those are the people? No, it's 7:25! Oh they're stopping! Oh Max is naked! We have to get the hell out of here."

So I started yelling, "GET YOUR PANTS ON!! EVERYONE OUT! OUT! OUT!"

We carried Max out of the house without shoes or socks. I carried the rest of his clothes and he dressed in the car. Logan forgot his wallet and ran back in to grab it just as the people were walking up the front walk. Thank God we have a lot of doors.

As we drove away I said, "Oh, he's tall. They'll hate it."

We parked down the street waiting for them to come running out fleeing from the horror of the Bend Over Basement. But they didn't. 15 minutes went by, 20 and then 35 and they came outside and started walking around the house. Looking at all the concrete which one day they will hopefully be cursing as they shovel snow for 3 hours.

They liked the house their realtor said and they'll be coming back for a second showing on Saturday. They mentioned the lack of garage as a concern and the fact that it's really just a two bedroom because the third bedroom doesn't really have a closet.

Of all the things anyone's said about my house in the last month, for some reason this one has sent me of the edge of my tolerance for these buyers in a buyers market.

When Logan and I bought this house it was a fierce sellers market. We looked for months and months for a home and sellers had offers within 24 hours of listing. We'd show up for a viewing and find a home inspector and a defensive buyer already under contract. We walked through houses where dinner from the night before was left out on the table and dishes were piled high in the sink. Half the homes weren't even clean because they didn't need to clean, the houses were selling anyway. Over asking.

Our third bedroom has a stairway in the closet which leads to an attic which could be easily finished. Since we don't need that closet space we've left it open for easy access to the attic. When this realtor said her buyers were concerned it wasn't really a 3 bedroom house because there was no hanging space in the closet I burst my eyeball open and yelled out loud, "OH MY GOD I AM LIVING IN A HOUSE HUNTERS EPISODE!"

Then I drove to Lowes and spent $12, came home, spent 20 minutes of my time and voila!

This is a three bedroom house, there's your closet, now buy my house.

(*Second viewing Saturday morning. The closet is totally going to make this deal happen.)

Comments

[Womanwithkids]

Incredible! You're a magic closet maker!

hesitantly asking) I'd like my closet larger... could you work your magic on that?

[Jaycee]

I loathe people with no vision. They should be tripping over themselves to buy your house and finish that attic. Then they'd have all the room they could want at a great price. Good luck!

[Amy]

That's hysterical! I so hope they buy it. The first time I put my house on the market (it took three tries over 3 years to actually sell it) I would load the dogs in my car and drive to the church down the street and park behind some trees so I could see when they got there and when they left. That way I'd know how long they were there.

The last time we put it on the market, the time it sold, I'd just gotten a new imac, so I'd start a video conference with my sister and then mute the computer and hide the video screen so she could spy on my showing. That didn't help much, because unless people were hanging out by the computer, we didn't know anything. Of course, it really freaked my sister out when one guy started moving the computer around (to see where the wires were hidden).

Just writing that I've figured that I am a complete stalker and need serious help.

[stephaniekg]

hahahaha, love it.

I think you need at least one see through tote on the top shelf, though. Just so there's no question.

[kaleigh]

We got along with our neighbors at our old house, so we'd just sit on her porch during showings. So we could spy. And act like the bestest neighbors ever. Sometimes we even answered questions, like helpful neighbors would. Not really an option for you, though.

[Kate]

The man who bought my friend's house did so on the condition that they remove the hanging hose reel on the side of the garage. It literally took one screwdriver and 60 seconds, but for him - that was the deal breaker. Unbelievable.

[jenp]

Hey, I live in NC where basements are a luxury. Brand new, $500,000 houses are built with crawl spaces. Coming from IL where the only reason one wouldn't have a basement is if one lived in a mobile home, I don't get it. Where do people stash all their crap??? Luckily the house we bought has a basement.

[MomVee]

Gosh. What I thought was the fourth bedroom in our house doesn't have a closet at all, even with attic stairs in it. When we bought our house we were distinctly told it was a bedroom. The sellers had a bed in it. Hmmm.

[sr5839]

I hope they never decide to move to the UK. We don't have a single closet in our ENTIRE house. I guess we own a no bedroom house.

[mimipz5wjj]

Holy Cow! The nerve!

When we lived in the UK and Australia we had no closets either! And our 3rd "bedroom" was barely big enough to fit a single bed.

Good luck!

[Pete Dunn]

When we sold our house almost 2 years ago, we spent WEEKS making upgrades just to make the house marketable in a pretty competitive market and cookie-cutter neighborhood. The buyers, who bought our house because of all the fabulous extras like crown moulding, beadboard, upgraded flooring, etc, have since totally trashed the house, moved out and the place sits empty.

It makes me so Goddamned mad that I stayed up nights and weekends busting my ass just to please those pricks.

[Sarah]

I am always bashing Michigan and I don't mean to, but I must say that selling ANYTHING in Michigan is a crazy, crazy experience.

We had an older BMW on the market here in Ann Arbor, world's most pretentious land, for nearly a year for $500 under bluebook. It had low miles, got great gas mileage, was owned by us second and a very old man first who only drove it to Wendy's for a vanilla shake on Friday nights, ran super well, maintenance was meticulously documented by my OCD husband, yet everyone walked away from it because it had these little teeny scratches on the top that were completely not visible except in very bright sun when you squinted and only if you were exactly 5 feet 4.25 inches tall with poor posture.

Before Ikea existed in Michigan we sold a couple of coffee tables for $10 each. Perfect, pristine, we-had-no-children-at-the-time condition. People who came by to look at them not only declined to by, but in two instances had the nerve to get angry and insinuate we were trying to dupe them because the tables were cherry laminate, not real solid, made by some Amish people cherry wood. TEN DOLLARS, people.

I doubt we will ever be able to sell our lovely, brand new condo in Ypsilanti...but strangely, I get the feeling that someone would happily shell out more than our monthly mortgage in rent.

It is a strange world here in Michigan. Your house is absolutely lovely, and whoever buys it will be very lucky.

[IzzyMom]

I hate all those stupid whiny-asses on House Hunters.

"I really don't like this paaiiiiint"

"This wallpaper is uglyyyyyy"

"The carpet won't match my furnituuuuuuuure"

And aren't you the crafty one with your Closet Maid shelving and hanger bar!

Good luck. I'll be envisioning many unicorns and kittens on your behalf :)

[d.regina]

Fingers crossed!

[Belinda]

It will. IT WILL.

[CursingMama]

I am dying to know what you did to St. Joe -

[Maddy]

Melissa, way to be proactive!

Please people, buy the house already. Your closet with a new hanging rod awaits.

[dutch]

sarah, I don't think what you are talking is somehow geographically connected to people here. when we had our garage sale in san francisco to sell our shit so we could move to michigan, our chinese and russian neighbors were so over-the-top ridiculous when it came to bargaining/cheapness/insulting-our-shit that I doubt such behavior is tied to one's proximity to Michigan, as much as it is to one's choice of tactics when trying to get a deal. Melissa's potential buyers don't really care that there isn't a big closet in that room, they (and their realtor, and possibly even Melissa's realtor) want Melissa and Logan to think the closet is a drawback when it really isn't. so that when the buyers lowball them they hope all the "trash talk" about a home they actually really love nets them some savings. I was doing the same shit nine months ago when we were bidding on our house. It may be annoying, but this stuff is as old as the sun.

[Melissa Summers]

Well in that case, let's hope that's the worst shit they can come up with. Lack of a hanging rod in the closet and no garage? The price is exceedingly good for that (with a brand new bathroom and kitchen).

Now, if the inspection turns up something...what was I saying? Oh yes kittens prancing on a sea of clouds.....cuddling with little puppies....

[chrissyg]

I will keep my fingers crossed for you, if you all keep yours crossed for me! We're going out looking at 4 houses tonight, and I hope hope hope at least one of them is right for us, and then, that they'll take our offer.

[Jody]

The real story is how fast life has changed on the housing market, no? Because that's what came through to me, loud and clear.

Two years ago, no one would have been looking to trash-talk anything, because they were going to have to offer asking price.

Good luck, and kudos on the closet fix: brilliant.

[Sumo]

I asked my home inspector friend about your closet situation. Building code stipulates that a bedroom has to have a closet of certain dimensions (I think at least 20" deep). This is something that was created in the last 15 years or so. He said that in really old homes that don't have closets he'll make a note along the lines of "typical for age of home." He also pointed out that most homes have attic access through the closet but some, like yours, have the added convenience of the access being through a doorway and stairs rather than a hole in the ceiling; it is still a closet.

Good job installing the hanger rod and shelf. That should remove any doubt.

[Jazz Brown]

I come check on you every couple of days. Sometimes, I have to check from my treo, home computer, work computer, hubby's computer, library, etc. I'm not giving up on this house sale!

I've got my fingers crossed for an offer on Saturday! :)

[Shan]

So, it's Saturday morning and I'm thinking about you guys and sending all the good vibes I can muster. what was it, rainbow colored unicorns and dancing kittens? :)regardless, my positive thoughts are with you. Shannon

[KatieS]

Not that I'm not wishing you well, but if you sell your house this fast, I'm going to be insanely jealous. We're quickly approaching one year on the market. I hate having the house for sale. I hope yours sells soon. Then just move to Ann Arbor and buy ours. Okay? Or maybe we could buy yours and you could buy ours?

Here's hoping you get an offer by Monday!

[Sumo]

Your description of unicorns prancing on rainbow clouds made me think of this shirt at Threadless. I'm sure there's a unicorn somewhere out there making magic marshmallows to help sell your house.