Real Life Is So Overrated.

I love vacation. In fact the only part of vacation I can think of that I hate is the leaving part. I am also not particularly fond of the 'Picture In Front Of The Alamo' part and the 'Homeless Woman Gripping My Daughter's Head' part. But otherwise the eating mountains and mountains of good food part was pretty great. I need more time and a bigger stomach to eat all the wonderful offerings of Texas.

Jean and Joe moved here 3 years ago and I'm not sure I want to live in a world where someone like Jean, who isn't particularly infatuated with Tex-Mex food, gets to live surrounded by it. She didn't know what a tamale is. In my opinion, this is some twisted joke of the universe.

One afternoon we stopped at a restaurant on the river walk to grab lunch with the kids. Madison was not pleased with our restaurant choice because the menu had, you know, good food on it. She ended up getting chicken fingers and fries. As we finished our food Maddie said, "This is the best Mexican food I ever had! I didn't even think I liked Mexican!"

She is quite the continental.

I have the worst time summing up my vacation, especially when there are so many highlights.

On this vacation I found yet another neighborhood I would like to live in. On Memorial Day we had a wonderful dinner with neighbors. Logan whipped up a batch of the Four O Clock, the alcohol content burned the eyelashes off several neighbors and pretty much sealed our reputation as raging alcoholics for a whole new batch of America. Hooray!

While we ate various meats made in ways I never knew possible, our kids played next door in the pool and with water balloons with some very kind teenager types and a few 6-10 year olds. If you're thinking of having kids I highly recommend having a 17 year old boy who likes kids around all the time.

We were also dazzled by the spontaneous neighbor happy hours by the pool and the evening puppy show. We were also dazzled by the lack of Willie Nelson, coyote airbrushing and boats which loom over one's house. How do people live like this?

If you ask my kids what part of vacation was their favorite they will quickly answer: "Swimming" and "Shamu". If you ask Logan what his favorite part was he'll say, "Stupid Pool Tricks". This was also the moment it dawned on me: My husband is totally in sync with 17 year old boys.

I loved every single thing about vacation, even the part where Max sobbed his way through the caverns. But I think my favorite night was the night Emmy came home from college and we sat outside talking, drinking, eating pizza and enjoying the sun and unseasonably cool temperature out by the pool. Maddie jumped in the pool in her pajamas on a dare and I didn't even care that the bedtime routine would be stalled.

I also really liked watching 'Jar Head' with Emmy and Will on our last night together. The simulating of gay sex in the desert was pretty awesome to watch together, not at all awkward. The night before we watched 'That Thing You Do' and when I crashed and later Emmy crashed the movie turned into a bit of a romance, leaving Logan and Will alone, quietly crying when Liv Tyler is torn between her two great loves.

Logan sent Will an iTunes gift card to say thanks for helping with our kids so much and signed it, "Dear Will, thanks for all the help with the kids.....and all the late night cuddles." I guess that will remain between the two of them. Well, and all of us.

It's become clear to me, we need a pool, a house which has very thick sound proof walls, great neighbors with puppies, no winter, Center Market, a detached master bedroom, a couple of fun teen/twenty-somethings around and a very patient mother type named Jean to help take care of our kids.

Logan and I spent an hour on the porch thinking about our trip. We thought about how amazing our vacation was. How sometimes a vacation drags on for a day too long and you leave feeling wiped out. This vacation was the perfect amount of fun for kids, exhaustion for parents, relaxation for parents and fun for grown ups. It was the perfect week.

I find myself watching Jean interact with my kids, taking note of how I can do this job better. How I can react to the kids with more patience, how I can fill them up with love before redirecting their undesirable traits. When they decided to leave the incredible sink hole that is Michigan take on a better position in a new state, that's the part which made me sob uncontrollably at their going away party. I need a third parent in my kid's lives because I'm doing the best I can but holy shit I am an easily overwhelmed woman.

Sitting in Aunt Jean's house is like climbing into a great big hug.

Comments

[Womanwithkids]

Please, I would like to sign up for a third parent too. One that doesn't loose her temper or swear or need sleep. Or get frustrated. Because I have those things covered. Someone not afraid of spiders would be helpful.

[Petey]

"...I'm doing the best I can but holy shit I am an easily overwhelmed woman"

Describes me perfectly! Best line ever. Mind if I steal it?

[Jennifer]

Ohhhh. A third parent. It gives me shivers just thinking about. She cleans, right? And cooks?

Please tell me that she cooks.

[GeeseOPlenty]

I could be your third parent; I love iTunes gift cards.

[Fenicle]

I feel like you do...only we are in the sinking state of Indiana...no way out!!!

[lisame]

Well! By all means, pack your bags and move to Texas! I'll buy the booze and make dinner!

[Kate]

Having been a nanny for years and years, I can vouch that the road to happiness is paved with eager, loving, full-time help.

[Amy]

You've described it perfectly once again. It's so easy to get overwhelmed with our own kids, but have the patience of a saint with someone else's. Watching someone be that person with your kids can often spur the need to try to be better. That's how it is for me, anyway. So glad you had a great time!

[slouching mom]

My kids could use a third parent.

Hell, I could use a third parent.

[Christine]

I escaped the Detroit area nearly seven years ago. I remember literally crying (and I don't cry easily) driving back from a long weekend in Chicago to our home in Royal Oak. I hated living in that sad, gray place.

NOW when I am on vacation I end up looking forward to going home. I doubt a day has gone by that I haven't thought, "I LOVE LIVING IN CALIFORNIA!"

It is even worth leaving behind our third parent, although I love it when she visits us here.

[Jazz Brown]

I'm so glad you had a good vacation. You do look a bit grumpy so I'll have to take your word that it was a good vacation!

Good. Now, you'll need all your energy for packing and moving...

[Matthew M. F. Miller]

I think more families should have 3 parents - now that I've said that, should I expect some angry calls from James Dobson or even G.W. Bush?

OOoooh, if only!

[Imnopoodle]

Well when you do find a pool, a house which has very thick sound proof walls, great neighbors with puppies, no winter, Center Market, a detached master bedroom, a couple of fun teen/twenty-somethings around and a very patient mother type named Jean to help take care of our kids, would you please send the rest of us the address? And the name of your realtor.

[Melissa Summers]

Yes, yes Jazz Brown, three pictures taken on the very first day of sightseeing (for 6 hours) accurately portrays ones feelings about the other 6 days of the trip.

Seriously, life goes on even when there isn't a camera on my face.

[weaker vessel]

My mom lives in the Dallas suburbs, and every time we're visiting and go to their local Central Market, I want to lie down on the floor and somehow figure out a way to make sweet, tender love to that fantabulous grocery store. AMAZING place.

[missy]

We're making the 3 hour drive to San Antonio in a couple weeks. I can't wait to float on the lazy river at the Hyatt Hill Country & just forget about work.
Also, I'll vouch for Texas. I absolutely love living here.
Thanks for entertaiing me as always.

[vickynh]

Oh man. I love, love, love Central Market. Now that I've read this - I think a visit this weekend is in order. Also am totally loving this cool Texas weather. Come back when it's 110 degrees and it isn't quite so charming.

[Pants]

I'll also add that a key component to many of our favorite nights was the fourth parent of the vacation awakening an enthusiasm for basketball we never knew possible. Thanks Joe, guess we'll be driving a sweet BMW next time we visit!

[Pocket Rocket]

If you didn't get to try Boudro's on the Riverwalk, try it next time. Their blackened prime rib is to die for, and the prickly pear margaritas are a delight.

[JenInSeattle]

I really love this post.

[Linda Sands]

Okay, you've convinced me to take the kids to Texas. My sister is the GM of Sunset Station in San Antonio (http://www.sunset-station.com/) and though it won't be like getting a third parent, because she works too darn much, I might get some great margaritas and get to hear The Sick Puppies play. And that might be enough.

[BookGeekGrrl]

Oh, Melissa, I love you. I'm childfree by choice and kids aren't my thing, but your writing is so fabulous, I LOVE hearing about yours! Thank you for sharing your gifts.

[Lisa V]

Third parent? I'd just be happy some days if my kids had a decent first and second.

[Beth]

De-lurking to say: Texas is a great place to grow up. I ran away to Oregon as soon as I could after high school graduation, but...yeah. For adults with children and people under 18, it's a great place to be. (My high school peers seem to disagree with me, btw...)

[Melanie Cipher]

That pool just looks better and better every time I see a picture of it. My brother-in-law is that awesome teenage boy- he's 14 and he loves my son and they play together so well. Plus he's hilarious. I wish he lived closer so we could all hang out all the time.

[Cathy]

Oh, how I love SA. My brother lives in Alamo Heights, and we love visiting. I could certainly live there, and would work for free at Central Market. We loved staying on the Riverwalk, tourists be damned, 'cause a margarita is never too far away.

[Chookooloonks]

Oh, would that one day someone would describe sitting in my house as "climbing into a great big hug."

What a wonderful thing to say.

(Glad you had a great time)

K.

[Amber]

Here, here to vacation and yours sounded just grand! I used to be a travel writer so my write-ups are quite pathetic. Instead of describing the kids and their activities, I somehow digress into descriptors of the undulating hills, convoluted canyons and embayed cliffs.

It is an illness, really.

[Misty]

I'm signing up for my third parent as well as my third husband. You know, one that can build things!

[amy]

Love yr blog
just found you-
thanks
refreshing