One small but important sphere of my life is out of whack.

Dear Melissa,
I think you need to get a hold of yourself and get some perspective. I am a potato farmer and I lost my arms in a freak potato peeler accident. Farming potatoes was my entire life, when I lost my arms I thought my world would end. But I didn't feel sorry for myself. I remembered some people are born without arms and I was thankful for the 30 years I got to use my arms. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I learned to farm potatoes with my feet and I give thanks everyday I have feet to farm my potatoes.

Count your blessings an remember you could be trying to sell your house without any arms and that would be worse. So much worse.

Love, The Internet

Dear Internet,
You are mostly awesome. In the last few days I've gotten email saying, "You're right it sucks balls." and others saying, "Positive thinking is for losers." and "I'm not even going to try to tell you it will work out because that's not what you want to hear right now because you feel like you've been kicked in the stomach." Also, there was the email that said, "Dear Melissa, I have it harder than you. Love, The Internet."

And I wanted to pinch your adorable little cheeks Internet.

I turned off comments for the same reason I haven't answered the phone in the last 4 days. I am pretty much a miserable bitch to be around. I am grouchy and not 'thinking positive' and not really very much fun at all. There's pretty much nothing you can say to me which won't make me want to bite your head off.

Why would I do that to you Internet? I want to be friends, so I turned off comments until I can hear "It will all work out eventually." without feeling the strong desire to disembowel you.

We have showings today and tomorrow. I am tempted to leave the dishes in the sink and the forts the kids made in the hall and all the beds unmade. I'm tempted to leave the cat hair all over and the litter boxes unscooped.

Because if I get one more realtor feedback involving the words, "It's so clean!"

I will disembowel myself.

Love, Melissa