If only it worked this way a lot of people's problems would be solved.
My friend is telling her six-year-old daughter about the Duggers and how they just welcomed their 17th gift from God.
"That's a lot of babies. I guess she forgot to turn on her period."




When my husband saw this story, he said, "It's a vagina, not a clown car!" Sheesh...17 kids.
Posted by: LaurenS | 2007.09.16 at 08:39 PM
That's so funny! 17 - I don't think I could handle being pregnant for half my life OMG!
Posted by: Karen MEG | 2007.09.16 at 08:55 PM
I think they're secretely forming a militia.
Posted by: flailingmyarms | 2007.09.16 at 10:43 PM
They're like the Stepford family on Clomid.
Posted by: Zookins | 2007.09.17 at 08:56 AM
I laughed out loud at my desk. Co-workers turned their heads and I had to share your post and the first comment. They laughed out loud too. Now I have to wait for the no personal time on your computer memo.... Damn you being so funny.
Posted by: cybperry | 2007.09.17 at 10:36 AM
I followed the hyperlink to the Dugger's site (17 kids requires 4 washers and 4 dryers. That right there is enough to make me get more birth control. I hate laundry.) and I saw a link for favorite family recipes. Because I am very much like you, Melissa, when it comes to cooking for my family I pay attention to all that kind of stuff and I have to ask: did you try the crock pot lasagna recipe and did it work?
Posted by: Imanitsud | 2007.09.17 at 01:29 PM
*snerk* at the "forgot to turn on her period" and "clown car" comment.
As for the recipes on their site - I have a problem with that much processed food. My digestive system has a problem with that much processed food and don't even get me started on the preservative-induced-migraines.
And what is "Liquid Amino" anyways?
Posted by: Nicole | 2007.09.17 at 01:54 PM
I think that is the cutest thing that I have ever heard!
Posted by: angarella | 2007.09.17 at 01:54 PM
of course Mr. Duggers name is "Jim Bob" - of course it is.
Posted by: pixie sticks | 2007.09.17 at 02:46 PM
The Duggars scare me and the Clown Car comment made me howl.
Posted by: Meredith | 2007.09.17 at 03:35 PM
17 children! You can bet there are a lot of tater tots on that dinner table.
Posted by: mrsggggggg | 2007.09.17 at 07:11 PM
They appear to be a very happy family, although I would love to own the rights to the follow up story 15 years from now. If you've ever watched the documentary on them, each child is responsible for the child younger than him/her, i.e., dressing, helping to eat, grooming, etc. So many children being little mommies and daddies during their childhood...what will they do when they grow up?
Posted by: jnocutenames | 2007.09.17 at 09:24 PM
Kids have such a way of just saying it like it is. That is just perfection!
Posted by: Jessica | 2007.09.17 at 11:49 PM
I just can't decide which I find more difficult to parse - the velveeta in everything, or the fact that her 17TH BABY 8lbs. 8 oz. (whoa) my biggest of 4 was 7 lb 1 oz. Also, how do they have time to procreate with the household things or does she just get knocked up from soap? Soap is such a slut (said some comedian I can't claim that but seriously) 8 and a half pounds after 16 others? SIXTEEN?
Posted by: jocelyn | 2007.09.18 at 12:38 AM
I personally think it is obscene to have that many children. Can you imagine the therapy bills these kids will have? I think Lauren's husband summed it up perfectly...it is not a clown car!
Posted by: katastrophe | 2007.09.18 at 09:46 AM
"Bragg Liquid Aminos is a Certified NON-GMO liquid protein concentrate, derived from soybeans."
Talk about a candidate for "Did they eat it?"
Posted by: Ani | 2007.09.18 at 02:20 PM
Ai yi yi!
Posted by: Katie | 2007.09.18 at 06:54 PM
Who knew there were so many J names? I for one want to see even more of them Duggars because I for one believe there is a finite number of J's left....which just might be the key stopping this going forth and multiplying crap.
Posted by: Karan | 2007.09.18 at 09:14 PM
And did anyone read the "blanket training" section of their website? Basically you tap/swat around the perimeter of the baby on a blanket so they learn to stay on the blanket and play and not need your attention! Yeah, because you don't want to have to watch the baby so you can go crank out some more kids for said baby to take care of when they get a bit older! :shudder:
Posted by: AnneM | 2007.09.18 at 11:13 PM
AND it positively cracks me up that the LAST kid is named Jennifer, when a few kids earlier they named one Jinger?!? What, Jennifer was too pedestrian for the 12th kid, let's save it for the 17th one....
Posted by: AnneM | 2007.09.18 at 11:14 PM
I hate to sound snarky (but not enough to stop myself), but I would love to see one of those kids totally rebel (especially one of the girls) -- 'No more skirts!' 'I'm going to cut my hair!' 'I'm not changing another diaper!'
I doubt that that will happen tho'.
Posted by: JenInSeattle | 2007.09.19 at 02:30 AM
Bossy's Gifts From God came in a circular pack and were color-coded and soluble and - oh right, Birth Control Pills.
Posted by: BOSSY | 2007.09.19 at 10:10 AM
If the fraternal birth order effect is to be believed, a man's chances of being gay increase by 30% with each older brother he has.
The Duggars have 10 sons.
How does that fit in with God's plan, Michelle and Jim Bob?
Posted by: Foo | 2007.09.19 at 02:40 PM
That Mom needs a "J" name. Jezebel comes to mind...
Posted by: Momo Fali | 2007.09.19 at 03:38 PM
I lurk here a lot and have always thought your writing was witty and cute. I have never commented.
This is not about you, Melissa. It is about the comments to this post. How snarky can one be, really? Why judge someone else's lifestyle and decisions? No, I wouldn't opt to live the way these people do and yes, I do find it a bit odd but it's better than crack whores having babies and living on the streets.
Come on people, get a life.
Posted by: wowie | 2007.09.19 at 08:55 PM
God bless the Bill of Rights and our freedom of speech - better use it while we still have it. Judgmental? Crack whores? I detect a tiny bit of judgment there. And really, it's more than "bit" odd or TLC wouldn't have done an hour long special on it and it wouldn't be headline news.
Posted by: jnocutenames | 2007.09.20 at 09:13 AM
Truly, I don't really have a problem with the size of the Dugger family. Not my choice, by no means. Just as long as they do not receive any state assistance for willfully procreating continously.
But I do have to think, it is way past time for momma Dugger to turn of her period for good.
Posted by: BugsMom | 2007.09.21 at 09:46 AM
Hi. My name is Kathleen and I am a Duggar addict.
I can't condemn people for having that many kids and no debt. Really. They are doing an amazing job. I like that each little kid has an older "buddy" and that mom always has the youngest as her buddy. I like that all the girls have white socks and all the boys have black socks and that they all wear red when they travel.
We only have 2 kids and are "discussing" a third, but I'm nowhere near as organized as Mrs. Duggar. I watch those shows in awe. And I watch them every stinking time they air.
Love me some Duggars! More clown car! :-D
And I hope that if we decide to have a 3rd child nobody slams me and wishes that I would just turn on my period. Everyone draws the line between dry/funny and mean/harsh somewhere different, but to my mind some of these comments feel like they are on the judgemental side of the line.
Posted by: KYouell | 2007.09.22 at 08:19 PM
They are *scary*. I've seen just enough of one of their "TV specials" to turn my stomach. The girls have no chance of being anything other than barefoot, pregnant mommies. And the wife...good grief, she's not a brood sow. The human body was not meant to procreate like that.
I'm one of 3 kids. I know families with a few more than that. But 17 is irresponsible.
Posted by: Angel | 2007.09.25 at 01:59 AM
I'm glad the Duggars are happy, tho I have to wonder what they would've done if they had chosen X as their signature initial. As for me, if I had that many kids I would've made myself a nice plate of Velveeta and arsenic nachos.
Posted by: Sheryl | 2007.09.28 at 06:41 PM