Tales Of A Chronic Pack Rat

We bought a lamp to go in Logan's apartment right after we were engaged in 1996. It was a very simple lamp, clean lines in silver with a round lamp shade and a handy pull chain to turn it on and off. This lamp cost about $20 from Target and we had it in Logan's apartment, then that same apartment when we shared it after our wedding and finally in the home we bought.

We've had the lamp for about 11 years, we replaced the shade twice and in the move the latest shade broke and a couple weeks before we moved the pull chain fell off the lamp making it entirely unusable since, you know, it couldn't turn on.

I thought, when we moved we might consider just dumping the lamp since it was a $20 lamp from Target and not a priceless antique. It gave us 11 good years and when you amortize the purchase, we spent less than $2 a year on the lamp and we could maybe just buy a new lamp.

But no, we couldn't dump the lamp because Logan could fix it! It'd be fine! He'd get to it.....at some point. Logan has a hard time parting with the things we have. It doesn't matter if we use them, need them, could replace them with something a little better. If we have it, we need it. Last night he realized I'd discarded a (sort of ugly) table he purchased 20 years ago for $10 in the move.

"Where's that table we used to have the on the porch."
"I think I left it at the old house."
"What?! I love that table. I bought that table when I lived in Chicago."
"Baby, it was an ugly, unstable and dirty table. You don't need the ugly table so you can remember Chicago. I promise."

I have a very hard time holding onto things I don't like, don't need or don't use. I give away so much the donation guys at Salvation Army know my name and recognize my car coming up the alley. I don't want it in my house and if I miss it at some point, you know what? I'll buy it.

Yesterday we cleaned the garage and found space for Logan's beer brewing supplies, though he hasn't brewed beer in over two years. I also found space for his large collection of unfinished model cars, he hasn't worked on one for seven years. Oh and the two motorcycle helmets he still has even though he hasn't owned a motorcycle for over six years. Oops! Forgot the collection of glass and stained glass tools....though he hasn't worked with stained glass for around eight years.

When we started the process of preparing the house for sale Logan said, "I love living with less stuff!"

Over the last six months I've realized Logan actually likes living with less of my stuff so there's more room for all his crap.

As we finished the garage, I once again held up that stupid non-functioning $20 lamp and asked, "Uhm...where should I put this?"

I then helpfully suggested a few places, "How about there? Oh....that's where your beer crap is. Oh! I know how about there? Hmm....model cars. Okay I know over there! Darn it! Motorcycle helmets."

Finally he had a suggestion, "Just throw out the damn lamp."

Done.

Now to tackle the basement. There may be fist fights.

Comments

[AmyinMotown]

Had I not seen pictures of Logan I would think you were married to my husband. When he moved into my old apartment with me, he brought bboxes, some of which never made it into the actual apartment. When we bought the house, I went through them.

In one, there was a bowl, some pens, and about five PAPER NAPKINS. Paper. Nap.Kins. (and let's not even discuss his packing skills--during that same move he proudly showed me how he'd filled our largest box. Know what was in it? PILLOWS. Do pillows even get a box? No they do not, says the chorus of people with common sense). There is a box of old college textbooks, from his first degree in accounting that he does not use in hs current job or any other he is likely to ever have, in our garage right now. ARGH.

I am especially zealous about this because I am a former pack rat. Now? Ruthless. If I don't use it and love it, get it the hell out of my house.

[M&Co.]

When my husband and I married, he moved into my house. A few years later we moved into a bigger house and we put some of his boxes in the garage. When I finally got around to going thorough those boxes, he had tax returns in those boxes from 15 years ago! And OMG the gnashing of teeth that occurred when I suggested we actually throw them away. And I wasn't talking about just dumping them in the big blue. We had a shredder at my office and data destruction service too if anything was goo big for the shredder. I feel your pain.

[Melizzard]

While your at it do you think you could find room for the scuba gear that my husband hasn't used in 10 years. I suggested we try and sell it but he says it's too outdated for anyone to want. And why are we hanging on to it again?

Then he complains because the baby has two trikes both of which get used for different occasions.

[jaime]

My husband still gives me a hard time about a piece to our cd player that I threw away when we moved 2 years ago. To our cd player that doesn't work, and that we wouldn't use even if it was repaired because 4 years ago we ripped all of our cds to mp3 and sold them.

Frankly, I threw it out because I expected the entire player to get thrown out, but *somehow* it snuck its way into the moving truck.

[Meesha]

I used to be a bit of a pack rat, but once I moved in with my husband I became the ruthless tosser. Because one of us has to reduce the load or else we'll be one of those old couples who dies suffocated by their mountains of crap. Except we won't be old.

[AnneM]

Yeah, that's my husband too. I'm the first to admit that I'm a sentimental hoarder, but he still has college accounting textbooks with facts that are outdated and things that aren't done anymore. And yet he complains about our WEDDING ALBUM taking up room in the closet. Maybe he wants to put more textbooks there.

[Tiffany]

Oh no. This scares me that so far all of the comments are about people's husbands. I'm getting married in February, and my future husband SAYS he's not a packrat. This is a LIE, a lie he told me to get me to say yes.

I eye his stacks of magazines and assorted crap with glee, knowing that soon, very soon, I can finally throw it away.

[Her Grace]

I'm doing this right now too, but with my kids' stuff. My four-year-old could rival Logan, I think, though she doesn't have a thing for lamps.

[merseydotes]

I throw away Basil's junk when he's on business trips. I never bring up and because I never bring up, he never thinks about it. And so he never knows...it's awesome.

And I am going straight to hell.

[schmutzie]

And because there aren't enough me-too stories...

Since I and Palinode married in 2001, I have dumped almost everything I owned before we were engaged. Technically, I think all I've got left is a chair, some books, and a crappy stereo. But he will not part with and ugly desk and dresser that I think would make lovely firewood. And we live in an apartment. With no storage. So I have to look at them all the time.

If you find a tactic that works, let me know.

[Pete Dunn]

He really should get back to brewing that beer. At this point the only beer I'll drink is the stuff I brew myself.

[april.b]

last week, my husband said to me (for at least the 7th time, although one would not assume so from the "i have a great idea!" tone of his voice): "we should really throw out all that stuff in the storage room when we move. we haven't used any of that stuff for at least 6 months, so clearly we don't need it."

here's the funny thing: we don't have any plans to move. he wants to get rid of stuff in THEORY, but only when we move at some point in the future. i suggested that we do it sometime soon instead of waiting, but he said no, it's easier to do these things when you move.

sheesh.

[jkopftwins]

"Over the last six months I've realized Logan actually likes living with less of my stuff so there's more room for all his crap."

Ain't it the truth. The day I realized I was throwing out *my* stuff to make room for DH's collection of freelance clips from the 1980s and "research for future articles" all handwritten on unsorted legal paper (Dude! Google it!) was the day I started just pulling from the bottom of the pile and, uh, helping it disappear. Harder to do with brewing equipment, though.

[Builder Mama]

Gah, my husband is the worst pack rat. It's totally genetic since his parents are the type of people that have one of those baskets of magazines in their bathroom and the last time we were there I looked and found a farm supply catalog from 1982. I shit you not. It went well with the McCall's magazines from the early 90's. Every square inch of their house (and an adjacent barn and vacant house on their farm) is chock full o' this crap. You know, because you might need some rusty bailing wire some day.

Last time we moved, I secretly threw away every box he had in the attic that hadn't been opened since we moved in that house five years prior. He hasn't missed a damn thing. Especially not his receipt from a lunch he had at Applebees in 1991. Must've been one hell of a lunch.

[Sally McG]

I'm surprised that the latest flood didn't just get the crap wet, or damp enough for mold to grow all over it, or just one of those "ooops! I thought it was covered with mold - you know, the rain..." And you HAD to throw all that crap out!

Isn't that one of the benefits of good ol' Chicago summer storms?!

[MelissaS]

April.B: Logan said several times in preparation for the move: "When we move we are putting THAT in the trash! Don't even move it with us! It's gone! I'm so sick of it."

And then when we moved he changed his tune, "Let's just take it with us to decide what to do with it."

WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL????

[Stella]

I love throwing out all the useless crap that accumulates in my house. Especially the childrens toys...I'm a twisted bitch like that.

[Tommy from Michigan]

People who like to keep old familiar things around the house marry for life.

[mskilgore]

I am surprised at the amount of comments from women talking about men here; my house is the exact opposite. I am a terrible packrat (my parents were packrats and antique collectors -- it's not genetic, it's just the only thing you ever knew) and my husband is ruthless about throwing things out. The good thing is that I am coming around to his way of doing things, and now I clean out our closets and cupboards with him and savor the extra space.

[Suebob Davis]

It only gets worse. My dad is 89 and cannot throw anything out. The other day, I was complaining about my toaster oven (it does not shut off on the timer - you have to remember to turn it off) and he said "I have one in the garage! It has a broken handle but I could put some duct tape on it...

[BOSSY]

Bossy likes her tyrannical method more - Why ask a spouse what should be thrown out?

[cybperry]

Every time we move I try to purge (let's not mention accidentally throwing out my grandmothers Christmas ornaments)but only last week did I realize it would be a life-long losing battle.

While driving through a rural town I cooed at a variety of stone farm houses with beautiful gardens. My husband only commented on one house, which was in serious disrepair and had a variety of boats, jeeps and a significant part of an army tank in the front yard. He simply said "that is the house of my dreams". He was dead serious.

[MelissaS]

I am exactly the opposite Christy, my parents were/are horrifying pack rats. Not even of cute knick knacky things, they collected things like paper work and even the envelopes our junk mail arrived in. How long does it take to throw that shit in the trash?

Newspapers remained for weeks and weeks. Closets were jam packed with crap. There was no where for stuff to go so the crap stayed on any flat surface.

That's why it drives me crazy when we/he keeps things we don't use. I want my closets to have space and my storage areas to have room to breathe and I'd like the flat surfaces in our home to be recognizable.

We buy Logan new running shoes every few months because he runs more than human beings should and wears out the shoes. Do we really need 5 pair of 'un-usable' running shoes in our closet? He seems to think they'll come in handy some day. For what, I have no idea. But as long as there is some floor space in that closet he'll fill it full of a bunch of garbage.

[Yolanda]

My parents are both hoarders, though my mom is the worst of the two. As a result, I am an obsessive declutterer, religiously looking to reorganize and toss things that I am not using, no longer like, or simply don't have space for.

But it wasn't always this way. I used to save every possible piece of paper from school under the (very false) premise I might need it again. I'd save clothes I hated, magazines I never looked at, any possible piece of ephemera that had a memory attached to it...

Then my parents house was foreclosed on and we had to move quickly. I let a lot of stuff go, painfully. When a few months later I hadn't died form the loss, I hadn't even missed the stuff, I decided to never go back to a life of holding on. It's just stuff.

Perhaps Logan can benefit from reading this book:
http://tinyurl.com/2t6s8y

Or looking at this list:
http://tinyurl.com/yujvof

[Tammytalksalot]

That is my husband too. He throws nothing out. It's annoying. I am simple I have a few things that I have to keep... but the rest could go and I wouldn't even blink, lol

[Krys72599]

I can't quite figure out the dynamics in our household... I am, admittedly, a pack rat. My husband is one of those "a place for everything and everything in its place" people. BUT.
Lately I have been craving organization and clean space so I've been wanting to recycle (read: throw away!) stuff.
NOW he wants to keep it "for a garage sale."
We haven't had said garage sale for, oh, 10 years or so!
Did he catch the hoarding disease from me? Nature or nurture?
I've decided to just quietly throw things away without asking/telling/mentioning...
What he doesn't know won't hurt me!

[Lisa]

I grew up in a house that the 4th seat at the kitchen table was never useable (or seen) due to the pile of mail, newspapers etc that was stacked on the table, the chair and the floor around it. When we'd have company she'd just cram it all into her bedroom and then maybe spend an entire Sunday going through it piece by piece.

In my house mail either goes in the garbage or in the bill cupboard...there is no stacking (except by my husband and I've given up trying to break that bad habit...I just try to send it to his car or office, but it usually ends up stacked next to his side of the bed)

I also hear you on the running shoes. We have 4 "old" pairs laying around and the latest pair that are in training for Chicago in a couple of weeks. We also have 2 brand new pairs waiting in the wings because we found his brand/style on a hard to pass up sale.

Though he does wear one of the old pairs as his out and about tennis shoes and one pair to cut the grass but the other 2 just sit there and taunt me. Wonder if he'll ever notice their gone...

[Sarah Smalheer]

We have the same husband.

Things my husband insists on keeping all of which make me see red and want to scream:

1. His banana-seat, ape-hanger-handlebar bike from when he was SEVEN (he's 36 now). This useless, chainless, rusty pile of junk has been in our basement for four years. He claims banana-seat bikes are going to make a "comeback" and he can sell it on Ebay for a lot of money. Yeah, right.

2. His motorcycle helmet. He sold his motorcycle in 1992. He'll get another one over my dead body. Get rid of the damn helmet already.

3. His four milk crates' worth of ancient guitar magazines (some so old as to have hair metal bonds on their covers). Look up the tab on the Internet instead!

4. An enormous steel box which weighs about 100 pounds that he insists is good for holding "something valuable." When we cleaned out our garage recently that "something" was an old sump pump and several boxes of nails. Yep, real valuables there!

5. Bent, rusty downspout pipes. Because you "never know" when you're going to have to make a quick gutter repair.

ARRRRRRRGH!

[amypt]

I would like y'all to come over to my house in rank and file, like a liberation army. For I (hanging my head in shame), I am a packrat.
Not to the point where friends and family worry about cleaning our house once we're gone, but I have a mail handling problem. And can't bear to get rid of the keychain collection I had in Jr. High.
Step one? Admitting I have a problem? Check.

[muppetpinchess]

Oh, I think I love you! This is my first time reading your blog, and well...as we clean out my husband's office in preparation for it to become our baby's nursery- let's just say your post was apropos and allowed me to laugh about a situation that makes me want to tear my hair out. He is getting better, but it's an uphill battle. Past gems include a Disneyworld shopping bag filled with several Pez dispensers and approximately 10 packs of Pez refills...with a receipt dated 1997...found in 2006. Turns out Pez don't actually go bad. I know because I ate them. An unopened Far Side desk calendar from 1999 found in 2007. Those are only some of the "good things" there are many, many other "bad things" like scads of receipts, rubberbands, business cards, dried up pens, etc., etc....

[abogada]

Oh my goodness. I think you're married to me. Hate to admit it, but it's true. And my mother was me squared.