Halloween Costume Challenge:

I am going to a Halloween party tonight.

You guys, I didn't come up with a costume.

Logan had a great idea, "Let's be Mummies."

I haven't bitched about my weight in quite some time because I am mostly at ease with my body (and all its flaws) at this point. However, I know wearing skin tight anything, even gauze, will not be flattering to me and my ample hips.

I do not want to be a mummy but come 7pm, without a better idea I'll be forced to wrap myself in gauze like a mummified fat sausage.

No One Wants This To Happen.

Please, please tell me your best last minute adult costumes. Easy on the cliche's though, everyone I've seen in my search has made me groan. If I wanted people to groan I would have just wrapped myself in gauze like a mummified sausage.

Advice is needed. I am officially asking.

Comments

[there's a run in my pantyhose!]

OK... you totally confused me by posting early. I know it's not 10/27 there yet, unless you're in Europe!
Anyway, I saw a couple on Ellen this morning dressed as bunches of grapes. Looked easy. A bunch of green or purple balloons with some fake vines mixed in. Seems like a quick trip to a craft shop should do the trick...
Whatever you decide, don't forget to post pictures!
Oh, and have fun!

[there's a run in my pantyhose!]

ps. Whoo-hoo! I was totally first! (and 2nd!)

[Suebob Davis]

Don't tell but I'm going as an internet troll. I am going to dress up like a major dork and dole out my favorite trollisms - like "Your not even funny," and "Your husband is probly fooling around on you."

[sarahbeanne]

After reading a recent post by thisfish where she her body is like a lobster's (all the meat is in the tail). I'm dressing as that & stuffing the back of my pants for added fullness. There's a how-to for making a lobster costume on HGtv.com using red plastic cups & plates.
Sorry I'm writing too late to help you...

[AmyinMotown]

We were going to go as the Sesame Street Martians. "PHONE, yip yip yip yip, PHONE...." Too busy and broke, but googly eyes, pipe cleaners, black felt, and fleece or fake fur ought to have done it. There's video on YouTube, including two guys who did this.

We're painting our kitchen, so we put on our painting clothes, did some touchups, and went as housepainters. I wish I was kidding. I am not.

[Nuisance]

My sister and her husband are going as Night and Day.

He is dressing in all black, with little stars all over, blackface, and a yellow star in the middle of his forehead if she can talk him into it.

She is attaching batting to a blue dress she picked up at goodwill, glitter in her hair, and yellow face (for the sun, not the jaundice).

*shrug*

I'm really bad at it myself - no one ever gets my costumes. Second grade I went as a medium, and everyone thought it was a great gypsy costume. Last year my husband and I went as a gangster and his goomah (is that how you spell it?) - he wore a dark suit and a cigar, I wore a slutty outfit and long fake eyelashes.

People asked why we didn't dress up.

But yeah - mummy costume would be a bit body conscious for my taste. Good luck!

[CateRoss]

Mr. Sweetie did this one a couple of years ago--Cat in the Hat. Tall red and white hat, white gloves, wear anything else you want. Whiskers done with eyebrow pencil optional. EVERYONE will recognize who you are. Or do the Annie Hall thing and go as Will and Ariel Durant--wear whatever you want!

[beanpaste]

A few years ago I went as a Smart Ass...black reading glasses, donkey ears on a gray hooded sweatshirt, all under a graduation gown.

Aaaand.....that's all I've got. Sorry.

[Karan]

Go as Britney Spears...you need a too short skirt and cowboy boots but you don't need panties, you don't need to do your hair and you can ignore your kids.

[SuburbanCorrespondent]

Well, you sort of have to plan ahead for this one - but when I was 39 weeks pregnant with my first child (in 1991), we were invited to a costume party and I was really cranky and didn't dress up. So everyone asked me who I was supposed to be and I explained that I came as Demi Moore (who, you may remember, posed pregnant and almost naked on some magazine cover that year) and that at midnight I was going to take all my clothes off. (I left before midnight, of course.)

[jkopftwins]

June Cleaver (a '50s housewife dress, which flares nicely over the, ahem, hips, some pearls and heels), with a bloody meat cleaver tucked in your apron.

Now I'm torn between being a Smart Ass (which, you know, will lead to a night of "Oh? No costume?) and an Unhappy Camper (which anyone who's ever camped out with me will know is no disguise, either!)

[Abby]

One year my mom went as a hanging bag, like that a suit comes in. She cut eye and arm holes out of it and zipped it all the way up over her head. She wore dark tights and that was that. After she arrived at the party and nobody could tell who she was, she cut a head hole out of the top. She had body issues, too.

[thomtiger]

One year my husband and I went as a brick and a brick layer. Really easy - for me just a painted sandwich board and for him a white masonry hat and a trowel.

[rileymom]

My fave one from University days was going as a Freudian Slip.
You wear a slip (now i wore it on top of my clothing because me in a slip not a good visual)..and pin to it little pieces of paper that say FREUD.

Did i mention i was a psych student...and a big geek....but all who "got it" thought it hilarious.

[MomVee]

Wear a suit and big glasses and go as Dr. Janet Taylor. Scary.

[Lizzi]

This one is really easy and works well for a couple - A Pair of Blue Jeans. Make two name tags, one that says "Jean" for you and another that says "Gene" for your husband. Dress in as much denim as possible, using a belt for a necklace. Cheap too! If you don't mind the possibility of being confused with Smurfs, you can paint your faces blue too .... ! Good luck!

[mamalush]

Here are a couple of my favorites:
* One night stand- lamp shade on the your head, use a box & paint it brown, attaching some knobs and throw some condom wrappers on top.
*laundry (this came from my mom-when I was about 10, do you think maybe she was too busy to come up with a costume & had housework on her mind?)-safety pin some socks and t-shirts and maybe towels to your clothes and carry some laundry soap. Oh, and totally wear some underwear on your head!!
*Hell on wheels is easy too-devil horns and tail, maybe a shirt with flames, definitely you get to buy new cute shoes with flames and then just sort of fix a small wheels to the top of your shoes.
*We like pirate here at our house. Once my friends and I went as "Pirates the Club" in which we recycled old costumes (Jackie O, flapper, whatever) and added some pirate accents. We were a club of people that dressed up as pirates.
Good luck, can not wait to see the photos!!

[Sarah Cool]

The smartest thing I ever did (okay, maybe not) was buy a pair of scrubs. Now I go to every costume party as a doctor. SO comfortable... SO easy... and I can rotate between being someone in the cast of Grey's, ER, or Scrubs!

[Sara]

My sister-in-law once wore a blue dress and devil horns. She was The Devil with a Blue Dress. I know it's not pc, but when I was in college, I went as a blind person. Wore whatever I wanted but with sunglasses and a cane. Carried a cup that said "pencils 5 cents" and that's what I used to drink my beer out of all night. (Horrible, I know.And me being a special ed. major too!)

[dutch]

just wear an eyepatch and if anyone asks if you're a pirate just say, "what the fuck are you talking about?"

or if logan is going to insist on being a mummy, dress up like brendan fraser.

[Melissa Summers]

Love the pirate idea.

I also love the internet troll....but only my good friends would get it. The rest of the party guests would be blissfully unaware of what a troll is.

[Melissa Summers]

Does anyone remember Rebecky? When she went as Google to a party. Hilarious.

[Karen Sugarpants]

We're going out tonight too - I'm Britney, he's Kevin. We've got baby dolls we're going to keep dropping and a small stuffed dog.

I love the pirate idea too. Have fun!

[Betsy]

Last year my friends and I went as ninjas--it's super easy to put together. Dress all in black, and make a ninja mask with a t-shirt (see link below).

We bought a bunch of plastic daggers at Target for weapons, but you could also make ninja stars out of paper and cover them in aluminum foil. Good luck!

http://www.entertheninja.com/ninja_fun/shirt_ninja.php

[midwestgrrl]

In college one year I went as a toasted marshmallow -- I wore all black and stuffed a white pillowcase full of stuffing and wore that on my head. Everyone had to ask what I was, but when I told them they all laughed.

[Beth]

My husband and I went to a costume party last night as a roll in the hay. Dressed as farmers and stuck hay in various places....hubby left half his shirt untucked and belt partway undone, and I smeared lipstick on myself and him. It was easy and didn't involve much time or money--both of which I'm lacking!!

[New Iconoclast]

Since I am a guy of great taste, presumably like Logan, who thinks that girls should have curves not corners, I think you'd look great in the mummy getup. Trust us. :)

[ampersand]

I vote zombie or hobo. Both pretty easy, and hobo is all hipster-thing-of-the-minute because of John Hodgeman's book. You could have a bindle!

[papergirl]

You should go as CMYK. It's a easy and colorful solution, plus a little nerdy!

[Mary]

Wear an old formal, white make up, fake blood (lipstick).

And you are the Chicago/Detroit hitchhiker who appears in people's cars for a ride home then disappears when they arrive at her destination.

(Sorry, can't think of the legend "name")

[Val]

I love this idea but have never used it...dress as a Twister. Wear black pants and top (slimming! bonus!), and use fishing line to attach a bunch of toy houses, animals, cars, barns, etc to your clothes. When someone asks what you are, just do the twist a little bit and everything will fly around. (I saw this on a 90s sitcom...know which one?)

[Mia]

I went as Tippi Hedren from Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds last year. Wore a straight skirt, tore up an old blouse, put some fake blood scratches on my face, mussed up my hair and pinned a fake bird to my shoulder.

[Sarah]

You could go as a mover and a box (it's a duo). My mother and dad pulled it off one year, and I have the picture somewhere, but not with me. My dad was the mover and my mom wore a box.

[Beacon Hillbillies]

Beanpaste, I love that smartass idea.

Kim Wilson, I did the Freudian Slip thing in grad school, too. It got lots of laughs.

Melissa, I'm terrible about coming up with costumes, so I don't have any suggestions :(
Do let us know what the verdict is, though, and post photos please!

[zan]

Last year my husband and I got some black t-shirts and white iron-on letters to make our "costumes." My shirt said "ZOMBIE" and his said "GHOUL." We got to wear jeans and any old pair of shoes. It was the most comfortable Halloween ever; I highly recommend it.

[Amy]

I was going to suggest Rebecky's Google, but you beat me to it! I love that blue jeans idea--I'm going to mention that to a friend of mine who always does something punny like that. Otherwise, I'm no help here. I'm going as a flower, but I'm only dressing up at school, where I'm an elementary teacher, so I can get away with cutesy. It was easy to make though--I sewed felt flower petals to a strip of green felt like a headband I will tie under my chin. The stem is a piece of green ribbon that goes down to my feet with felt leaves sewed along it.

[Linsey]

A friend of mine went as a black eyed pea. He wore his regular clothes, put a cut out paper "P" on his shirt and blackened his eye with eyeliner.

[HistorE]

Ooh, Ace of Spades! (Or whatever card your prefer.) Get a sheet of white tagboard and a sheet of red or blue, plus a large sheet of plain while paper. Cut up the plain white paper like a snowflake and glue it to the red/blue tagboard so it looks like the back of the card; draw the face of the card on the white. Punch holes in both and tie them together. Wear whatever you darn well please underneath, and ta-da! Bonus: conversation about how you're really the Queen of Hearts.

[Miranda]

I also have a costume party to attend tonight. Thanks for all the ideas, I'm going as a Freudian Slip. The host's BIL is a psychologist so I know at least one person will get it.

(Hope you don't mind I'm 'jacking your ideas, Melissa)

[Krissa]

I don't know how dorky your people are, Melissa, but Stuart and my people are pretty dorky so our last-minute sorta-broke costume (hey, we just got a DOG) is that we're going as google, too. Stuart's going to be the "1" and I'm going to be the hundred zeroes... on our tee-shirts. So he'll be one... followed by a hundred zeroes.

Like I said. DORKS.

[jnocutenames]

It's probably too late, but...I'm going as Valerie Plame. I've been outed so I don't need a disguise anymore.

[Marla]

Oh dear...I'm probably too late, but here, for anyone else who might need the ideas:

1) Go in your most fabulous outfit, the one you love the most and feel great in. If anyone asks who or what you are, say you're a nudist in disguise.

2) Same as above, but whine a lot and say awful things in sarcastic voices like "Nice homemade costume, really." or "Do you think the dip is salty enough?". If asked, you're a Party Pooper.

3) For Logan: Draw a picture of a small yellow chick (or many) - or use those fluffy little chenille Easter chicks if you have any - and pin them to a shirt. What is he? A chick magnet.

[momjeans]

How about Boyscout (logan has it) and the Old lady he helps across the street? You just need a goodwill print dress and grey hair spray paint? Opps I'm late...next year?

[momjeans]

How about Boyscout (logan has it) and the Old lady he helps across the street? You just need a goodwill print dress and grey hair spray paint? Opps I'm late...next year?

[Jenn]

Curiousity is about to kill this cat.

What did you go as?

[UndoneLady]

Sorry I didn't see this earlier. One of my favorites was dressing in all black and taping an "8" to my back. When ever someone asked what I was I answered using lines from the magic 8 ball. That same year my husband wore his regular clothes and taped a small "e" to his chest and went as e-male.

[Spandrel Studios]

Can't wait to see what you and Logan designed... Pictures?

[Lori]

This is definitely too late, but in the interest of helping anyone else - wear whatever you want with a pair of boots, some cat ears (easy to make) and draw on whiskers. Instant Puss in Boots.

[Leaf Mialone]

I once attended a "tacky party" and everyone arrived in their version of tacky. I wore a nice dress and pantyhose, but tucked the back of the dress in the pantyhose. I won the prize. Feel free to duplicate the look.

[Thomas Koener]

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[Twang]

Try pinning packaged medicine to your chest...you are either a 'medicine chest' or a 'drug bust'!!! I saw a couple of really funny ones last year as well....a guy wore a potato tied to the front of his pants..he was a 'dictator'...and his wife wore a lemon hanging from her skirt. She was a 'sour puss'.