An entire day devoted to beer, it just doesn't seem right.

How was your weekend? Ours was uneventful, except for the two giant pots of grain, hops and malt which boiled on our stove for 18 hours. Logan and two pals from work have started brewing beer together. The last time they undertook the task I was busy gallivanting about Portland. This time I got to see what it was like. What it was like was watching three overgrown puppies trying to brew beer. No, maybe something with opposable thumbs, like chimpanzees.

The discussion went mainly like this:

"Well, the book says...."
"Yeah, I know but that doesn't matter."
"But don't you think we should..."
"Screw the book man! I think we should be as non precise as possible."
"Yes, I totally agree. I'm going to stick my foot in it."
"Don't leave James alone with the beer."

The good news is, no one had to pee in the beer. They put this moss in it. This moss which smelled exactly like a Leprechaun had peed his magical urine all over it.

Before they got started they cracked open a few bottles of the last batch.

They were a little concerned because the last time they tried it, it didn't have much carbonation.

But look it has a frothy head. [Insert immature statement about getting frothy head here.]

Here's Tyler tasting it. You can tell by the maniacal look in his eyes that it's really good.

Then they got to work. Well first they had another beer.

But then seriously guys. Let's do this.

James may or may not be adding boogers to his sack of grain. He wanted it to be authentic and if you think brewers in the middle ages were all 'sterile' about making their beer you're full of it. In fact, I think monks are the dirtiest people I know and look what they do with beer.

Great news though. This magazine fell right into the boiling pot of wheat beer. It was freshly delivered from the postman and I'm pretty sure his hands weren't sterile. Maybe the beer will have a little Lighter Fresher Tex Mex influence now.

43 hours later and 3-5 mishaps later, the beer was ready to cool and get some yeast.

Logan wouldn't like me to tell you that he asked me to stand outside so we could take this totally gay staged picture of them studying the yeast. Oops!

They're almost done now, but Tyler wants to know exactly how shit faced he could get on this beer so he's testing the alcohol content. He's hoping it's stronger than Canadian beer.

Finally here's a picture of Tito's vodka, something we were turned onto on our last trip to Texas. It's handmade by Tito Jackson I'm pretty sure. It has very little to do with the beer brewing but I've been meaning to tell you about it and it never really comes up. You use vodka to let the air out of the beer as it ferments, the alcohol keeps crap from getting back in. Which is important since the brew already has Leprechaun pee and a totally not sanitized Martha Stewart magazine in it.

Today is St Patrick's Day. To celebrate I am going to be watching Max compete in the Pinewood Derby at school. Maybe they'll have green Kool-Aid!

Comments

[Michelle]

I've never understood the obsession with beer. It literally does taste like camel piss.

That's why I only drink Smirnoff ice and liquor that tastes like chocolate.

[MelissaS]

You must be drinking budweiser. It does taste like camel piss.

Smirnoff Ice is what we like to call Bitch Pop and if I want chocolate, I just eat it.

[Assertagirl]

Oh good, I guess my Everyday Food magazine will be arriving any day now.

Did your kitchen smell good or did it smell blech?

[angelawd]

Man, I remember when my husband went through a homebrew phase with his friends. It seemed like so much work for something you could just walk into a store and buy in five minutes. And the smell!

Is Logan designing his own labels?

[Suebob Davis]

Mmmmm beer cooking smells sooo good. Much better than actual beer tastes IMO.

About those Monks? On fasts, they could drink beer. So they would be fasting for days weeks etc but drinking strong dark beer. No wonder they were so inspired.

[ollka]

Well, I've never tasted camel piss nor home-brewed beer, so all I have to say on the subject is those guys are all very handsome and seem to be having lots of fun, so I hope you enjoyed the night too:)

[Rayne of Terror]

We've been brewing for almost ten years. The best improvement we've made was purchasing a turkey frier kit so we could do the boil outside in the summer or in the garage in the winter. Oh, and kegging. Kegging is awesome, no more dinking around with 50+ bottles for each batch. Relax, drink a homebrew.

[smackdown]

my husband brews too, with his younger brother and our brother in law. it takes a thousand hours, 999 of which seem to be spent either cleaning, drinking, or drinking while cleaning. it makes the whole house smell like warm grape nuts, which is not bad in moderation, but there is no moderation here. he also likes to build brewing-related gadgets, like a wort chiller and a gizmo that will turn a 3-liter soda bottle into a keg. i think this summer, he plans to grow his own hops in the backyard.

i'll stick to my cooking, which takes less time and smells way better. (although i'll gladly drink the beer)

[Jenn O]

Yum, my husband hasn't brewed in a while but I do love some home-brewed beer. I like mine without magazines added though.

[Heather B.]

I just found out that I'm allergic to beer. So let me know if Logan opens up a winery or starts making vodka. Please and thank you.

[JenB B]

this was a great pictorial! i guffawed. Logan (seems) so good natured about the mocking. i think that is key to a good marriage.

[Steve J]

I have been brewing for years - long before I took up wine. There are not many things that are more fun than cooling your wort, pitching your yeast, and measuring your specific gravity with friends over a homebrew. Well, sure, sterilizing your bottles. That might be more fun. (blech!)

[TeriLynn]

Mike is pretty sure he should build a bourbon distillery in our backyard. And yet, somehow he disagrees with my plan to get a llama. Or some sheep. Go figure.

[Christy Cegelski]

I can so relate to this! Any time my husband breaks out the brewing supplies, I want to throw myself under a bus! It's all I can smell for weeks--yeasty, yuck! I will say though, I'll take that over the times he's boiled sap on our stove for days on end to make syrup! It taste great and all, but the condesation it creates is enough to melt your face off!

[em]

A bunch of the husbands in our friend group out here in Portland have taken to the brewing thing as well. One of them started a blog that Logan might like as they put a lot of their beer recipes up - http://www.bsbrewing.com/blog/

[mp]

Oh yes - homebrewing. Manly sport, that. As a Portlander, we've come to appreciate the craft of the microbrew. My husband, too, will gather with buddies to brew, or worse, brew alone (it's a whole new level when you brew solo... brewing should be a group activity, in my opinion). I've always thought that brewing smells more like someone smoking pot, not leprechaun piss. But either way, not necessarily a good aroma to have in ones house. But we homebrew wives, we suffer. The smell! The mess! The inability to bathe children because of beer bottles being sterilized in the tub! Or, once I even gave up 90% of my refrigerator so my husband (then boyfriend - I was nicer then...) could keep the fermenting beer-in-process cool. He was brewing a lager for ME (I prefer the lager over the ales...).

Hope Logan's batch turns out great!

[angiewis]

My husband is a homebrewer as well, although with the price of hops as high as it is, it might be a while before he brews again.

There is nothing worse than the smell of boiling wort. I think it smells like rotting tea.

Bottling sucks, though. My husband built an amazing kegerator with two taps and it makes it soooo much easier.

[Sumo]

Every once in awhile I think it would be cool to brew beer. Then I think about all the great beers that are already available for me to just buy for less than it would cost to make. Easier, better tasting, cheaper. Yep, I'll never be a brewer.

[jillpmcd]

Forget about the beer...just drink the Tito's. Tito's is the best vodka! A fuchsia-haired bartender in the Auburn Hills Marriott told me about Tito's...and I've been drinking it ever since. I live in North Carolina, and our liquor stores even carry it. You can order it online if yours don't though...

[blogon]

Having never drunk camel piss, I have to stick with the "I'm allergic to beer" problem with beer and fully support the Tito's drinking. It's been a staple in our home for a while now. Trader Joe's carries it in our neck o' the woods. It was awfully nice of Martha to drop in and help out. A good thing.